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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

College best place to find your mate?

Every time I think of my college days I remember that dating was not a big priority for me. Believe it or not, I was a raging nerd who was either in the chemistry lab or working! I often wonder if my dating options were most plentiful back then. Was it easier dating as a college student and I didn’t know it?

Well according to writer Brian Jenkins, women in Georgia colleges face some daunting challenges. Makes you wonder if college is the best shot at finding a mate. Or maybe it is simply the time to play it single?

Check out Brian’s guest blog about dating in college and weigh in!

W. Keith Campbell, psychology professor at the University of Georgia, believes women on gender-unbalanced campuses are paying a social price for success, precisely because they have outperformed men. Katie Deray, a senior at the school, stated, “If a guy is not getting what he wants, he can quickly and abruptly go to the next one, because there are so many of us.” She claims it’s common to see six provocatively dressed women hovering around one or two guys at a bar or a party. The University of Georgia is around 60 percent female.

Oddly, the situation at many Georgia campuses is similar to the situation at retirement communities, where women reap the rewards of outliving their husbands by having to compete with other widows for the affections of a small number of living bachelors. Because of the gender imbalance at many Georgia colleges, male students claim they don’t have to work very hard to get the attention of females.

It seems strange, but most students at the University of West Georgia claim it’s actually easier to meet prospective dates while out on the town instead of on campus. Is this a good thing? Will Irvin, author of Missing Pieces: 22 Secrets of a Successful Relationship, stated, “Only two percent of men find relationships at a bar stool, with the number only going up to nine percent for women.” Maybe those looking for love are better off starting a study group.

Regarding first dates, Mandy Boland, a student at the University of West Georgia, thinks group dates make it easier to get over the first date awkwardness. But who should take the initiative after the first date? Dayton Presslar, a junior at the school, brazenly stated, “For guys there are no dating rules. Guys are simple. Rules for dating are more of a girl thing.”

Here’s some advice given to me by Adina Solomon, a junior at the University of Georgia who is also a reporter for The Red & Black student newspaper: “If you hang out mainly with people who share your values and motivations, you’ll eventually find a suitable partner – or last night’s mistake, depending on your preferences.”

What do you think? Is college dating different from dating post-college? Do we face the same challenges? Does it get better? How much does maturity and life experience impact our dating habits?

203 comments Add your comment

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Huh?

December 5th, 2011
8:30 am

Diva really? Most bloggers are 10-20 years beyond collega dating, been divorced and back at again. What was done back then versus now are worlds apart. No comparison.

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
8:42 am

0_o Morning.

Fion

December 5th, 2011
8:52 am

@Huh?

U beat me to it. I’ll come back for the second shift this afternoon.

Exiled!

December 5th, 2011
8:53 am

College days,the best days ever,hands down!

And yes,you better off finding your guy in college..they’re young,ambitious,prime and green.

After college,you just meeting pretenders and some washed up,tored up,recycled,remodeled,panelbeaten and used up tail.

Lot of baggage u gonna content with.

DreamsMaterialize

December 5th, 2011
9:07 am

College can be a place to meet like-minded people while you’re there. Once you’ve graduated then you should probably continue to try and meet like-minded people, wherever that is.

SlimNu

December 5th, 2011
9:10 am

Good morning all,

For this topic do I need to change into some Cross Colours or a pleather patched jean outfit, some fanga waves and a herring bone necklace????

disco

December 5th, 2011
9:14 am

good morning guys. I’m like really – college? heck, some of us (at least I do) have kids in college now. slim nu – you know cross colors was it. and fellas in their little denim jumpers with the slouch shirts. I think I mentioned on here that I saw a guy not too long ago wearing an 8ball jacket.

SlimNu

December 5th, 2011
9:19 am

disco – 8ball jacket :lol: :lol: Let’s not forget the period of AIRBRUSHING lol I had some denim overalls with Fat Albert characters spray painted on the legs of the jeans :shock:

kimmie

December 5th, 2011
9:21 am

Morning All! DC was great this weekend! Was almost a mini family reunion there for my aunt’s 90th bday party. It warmed the heart to see so many people that care for her. And she looked fabulous, at least 20 years younger than her actual age. Still fairly independant too.

On topic – You will never in your life be around a bigger pool of educated, like-minded people than during your college years. In spite of the “statistics” quoted above at some colleges, it’s still the best place to meet your future spouse. You are around the same age and you can build a life together. You have not become jaded yet. UGA was 60 percent women when I attended 20 years ago. You will have to compete with lopsided numbers when you get out of college too. But in college you don’t have other statistics dwindling the pool down even more like you do in the real world.

The drawback to trying to find a spouse in college that I encountered was that most of the guys I met want to just date and party. They were not ready to settle down. They were not even thinking about marriage. They were just trying to finish college and get a career going. Some of the AA guys were the first in their family to go to college and finishing was where their focus had to be. The more affluent guys, who were assured of a position at their daddy’s firm or corporation after school – those guys got engaged to those rich sorority girls by jr or sr year. The rest of us were just trying to make it.

SlimNu

December 5th, 2011
9:24 am

The drawback to trying to find a spouse in college that I encountered was that most of the guys I met want to just date and party. They were not ready to settle down. They were not even thinking about marriage. They were just trying to finish college and get a career going

That’s basically what I would’ve said with regards to the topic but glad somebody else did…just wasn’t feeling it this morn lol

disco

December 5th, 2011
9:29 am

kimmie – I’m sure you have heard of the MRS degree. the chicks who go to college for the sole purpose of latching on to a guy and getting engaged. a friend of mine met a senior in her freshman year and immediately got pregnant by him. they did eventually marry, have two more kids and divorce. while the divorce wasn’t the plan the rest of it was. she once told me that she considered her pregnancy an investment in her future. now, I know her case is extreme but me, myself, personally (ha ha) – I wasn’t even thinking long term, serious relationship, let alone marriage back then. I was late on that tip. I didn’t seriously consider marriage or wanting to marry until my mid 30s. of course by then the pickings were quite picked over.

czBrat

December 5th, 2011
9:31 am

i can’t even think back that far.

slim, i do believe i saw a grown azz man wearing those jeans at a burlington this weekend. :-(

hiyas!

SlimNu

December 5th, 2011
9:33 am

CZ – My first reaction was to laugh but on second thought, maybe that’s all she had to wear. So i’ll laugh to myself this time.

Leggs

December 5th, 2011
9:37 am

Good morning.

I didn’t date in college. When I attended GSU, it was predominately white with no social life whatsoever. I was either in the library studying or at my kitchen table studying. I had to excel in school and dating was the last thing on my mind.

@SexyC ~ unbelieveable, but the Snowboarders are off Amazing Race!

czBrat

December 5th, 2011
9:42 am

i was already dating my h.s. sweetheart through college, so i have no idea what i might have “missed out on”. not much, i imagine, based on what i saw roaming the clark atlanta campus.

apparently i dodged that bullet and, God willing, i won’t have to deal with the senior living scene either.

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
9:43 am

Hey Kimmie glad you enjoyed DC with your family! Good Post too!

kimmie

December 5th, 2011
9:44 am

disco – Your MRS friend perfectly describes one of my college friends except she didn’t get pregnant right away. They did get married near the end of her jr year and divorced about 10 years later.

I think that MRS mindset is usually planted in those women’s head by their like-minded mothers. My mother never steered me in that direction, so I didn’t know anything about it until I actually got to college. My mom was just interested in me doing well and following my dreams. She figured I would meet someone, so that was not the focus. Education is big in my family, so that’s the expectation for us. The bar was set high by our elders.

kimmie

December 5th, 2011
9:46 am

Thanks Lady! It was really a wonderful trip. It was so great so see so many of my younger cousins doing so well for themselves. My parents and grandparents really set the bar high. This next generation in our family is really representing. I was proud.

We also got to see the new King memorial – very soul-stirring!

sjb

December 5th, 2011
10:03 am

College is like the NBA draft, if you don’t get picked up in college it’s all over for you. heee heee

dyslexicbunny

December 5th, 2011
10:15 am

I thought so but then I went to Tech. Women can be as picky as they want when it’s 70/30. Not that I had any time as an undergrad – it’s only been slightly better as a grad student but reminds me of that scene in Dazed and Confused. I keep getting older and they stay the same age.

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
10:26 am

I would love to have been around 10 to 15 years ago @ the AU center…..Love my Alma Mater but I could imagine having a blast @ Clark…………….#imagining

kimmie

December 5th, 2011
10:28 am

Since so many of us on here are some years beyond college and have kids attending college now – do you or will you encourage your son or daughter to find a future spouse in college?

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
10:32 am

good question Kimmie as I was silently think that……I want her to have a plan. sure it is possible to meet your mate in school and live happily ever after………….I would encourage her to date, enjoy life, travel, absorb her freedom through opportunities, etc

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
10:33 am

I just hope and pray finding love in college isn’t the main objective………..it can’t be

Reio

December 5th, 2011
10:33 am

Mornin all. Didn’t date in college. Just studied, and worked. Had a lot of pressure(real and imagined) to graduate. First one to go to college, going all the way back to before 1905(my grandfather’s birth year). Tough major(computer science/mathematics), VERY little money. I was interested in women as much as the next guy, but I knew that a relationship would require more attention than I was able to give. Also I was always one of those guys that could end a relationship at the drop of a hat, so I didn’t see much value in even entering a relationship. I respected, and continue to do so, women too much to lead them on or use them for my own benefit.

Leggs

December 5th, 2011
10:34 am

@kimmie ~ I would rather she concentrate on her studies and graduating and not on finding a future spouse. Keeping that GPA up should be front and center. Future Husband 101 hopefully will not be on her curriculum…

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
10:36 am

you can’t get those undergraduate years back. #tear

DreamsMaterialize

December 5th, 2011
10:38 am

do you or will you encourage your son or daughter to find a future spouse in college?
kimmie Mine is a long way from college, but I encourage her to handle her business first. Everything else comes second. She’ll be able to give a marriage what it requires only after she’s given herself what she requires. Marriage isn’t the goal, but rather a possible consequence/byproduct of the goal…the goal being happiness.

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
10:38 am

& its almost irresponsible to live vicariously as an adult (grown azz adult) as if you are still in undergrad……………….#digressing ;)

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
10:39 am

She’ll be able to give a marriage what it requires only after she’s given herself what she requires. <—Amen DM!

Reio

December 5th, 2011
10:39 am

kimmie – I didn’t tell my daughters that specifically, but I did tell them that they should gravitate towards guys that have goals and ambition. America has too much opportunity for people to just sit around doing nothing. The younger of my two daughters too daddy’s advice, the older one, in Marietta, did not, so far. I’m still hopeful though.

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
10:40 am

we can’t be blindsided our babies will date in college like we did but I feel if they have a solid upbringing with handling their business it will carry over in college…………work ethic starts early

SlimNu

December 5th, 2011
10:43 am

do you or will you encourage your son or daughter to find a future spouse in college?

I don’t think i’d want to place that pressure on my son/daughter. Surely wouldn’t want them to feel like they had a deadlline and end up rushing into something they’ll regret later. I would encourage them to take their time getting to know someone they are considering long-term at any juncture of their life. However, when it comes to high school I would try to stress the importance of getting to know yourself before trying to tie yourself down before you even have a chance to experience life.

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
10:45 am

Slim that is my fear, high school. I see so many latching on too early in high school looking for love all in the wrong places….I don’t want to battle a senior in high school but I will!

Mike P

December 5th, 2011
10:48 am

“College best place to find your mate?” Hah!!!

A better question for the discussion should be “College-Age best TIME to find you mate?”

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
10:48 am

I see many high school parents allow boundaries to be crossed with their kids too….I just can’t play mother-in-law to a high school child. I can’t. My mouth wouldn’t allow it……smh I don’t think……….

Reio

December 5th, 2011
10:50 am

My older daughter moved to Atlanta(Marietta) because “They have more stuff” than Birmingham. The guys she has chosen in the past have not been what I would recommend. It’s funny, the one she is with now is another transplant from Birmingham, they knew each other in high school, although they never dated then. They are shackin now. Seems like a likable fellow, her sister says he’s a very nice guy, she knew him in high school as well.

kimmie

December 5th, 2011
10:50 am

Reio – See you sound like a lot of the guys I would meet in school – a little too busy trying to graduate to think about meeting and courting future mrs. They would date some and have fun, but that would be the extent. There were few that could actually cultivate a relationship AND make the grade too. What you said you told your daughters in your 10:39 – that’s about what I would say to my kids too. But school should really be their main focus.

SlimNu

December 5th, 2011
10:53 am

Lady – I’m not a parent but I’ve lived the high school experience. I had my “sweetheart” and we were inseparable. I knew nothing close as what I thought I did and HS is a huge struggle with parents and kids. Kids start to feel more independent and start ’smelling themselves’ as my grandmother would say.

kimmie

December 5th, 2011
10:53 am

Other than prom or casual group dates, nobody should be getting serious in high school, I think. I know I didn’t. It just was not worth the headache it would have caused me at home and made high school life a lot easier. I had fun but kept it light.

Sk8ing Momma

December 5th, 2011
10:56 am

My husband and I met when we were at the same college (even same major) 24 years ago. We started going out when we were juniors and dated for 5 years before we got married. We’ve been happily married for 17 years. :)

We know LOTS (dozens) of couples who met during undergrad and are still happily married. My friends who met after college where generally much older when they got married and had a more difficult time meeting their spouses. IMO, they had a harder time meeting people because there’s no environment like a college campus where one is surrounded by their peers (close to the same age) who have similar values/goals (for the most part). It’s just harder to meet people when you aren’t around as many ~ KWIM???

Long live college romances! :)

Sk8ing Momma

December 5th, 2011
10:57 am

Oops! That should be *were* generally…

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
10:58 am

I know this couple who wanted to married their jr year in college….they didn’t but as soon as they graduated they did and still married…they are young and still married and this is recent info…..Soooooo how would you feel in your college kid wants to marry right away before dating?!? I encourage dating myself……

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
10:59 am

Sk8ing Momma awwwww you just answered my questions! Good for y’all!!!!! ;)

MzNewy

December 5th, 2011
11:00 am

I’ll go with the latter question :

do you or will you encourage your son or daughter to find a future spouse in college?

No. I encourage both of them to enjoy being young, concentrate on school and have fun in college. I let both of my sons know that they have all their lives to be a husband and a father, right now they need to take time to get to know who they are and what they want….o yeah and I am not ready to be a grandma.

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
11:00 am

I would still be scared if my jr college kid wanted to marry right away…..but hey who knows

Leggs

December 5th, 2011
11:00 am

I agree with you kimmie. I commend those who had their h.s. sweetheart, went to college and then married and are still together. But, I think h.s. is too young to really know what you want or desire in a mate or what you have to give in return. Have fun, explore the many opportunites life has to offer and build your own worth as a productive person. Much like DreamsM’s 10:38.

Lady~

December 5th, 2011
11:00 am

MzNewy I so agree.

MzNewy

December 5th, 2011
11:06 am

I am glad I didn’t marry young. My hubby and I met when we were young but I am so glad I took time to establish myself and get to know me before we got married. Yes we both dated others between then and now (we are newlyweds) and I wouldn’t change a thing. I know that I am different than I was at 25. My thought process, goals and even the type of man I thought I wanted have changed. I encourage anyone to become a whole person – meaning enjoy yourself, like yourself and really know yourself before you start looking to attach yourself permanently to anyone else. Afterall, marriage is about 2 WHOLE people becoming one not 2 people trying to make someone else fill up where he/she is lacking.