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Archive for December, 2011

Leave bad moves in 2011

Not much time left in 2011 and if I had my way, there are a few things I would like to see stay in the past. Let’s just say, if I could impose dating resolutions on other people, I could come up with a laundry list of offenses that need to stop:

Unsolicited dirty texts and pictures I know it is tempting to send a picture of your package but it is a risky move. Make sure the recipient has an actual interest in seeing you naked or hearing you talk dirty.

Tardiness. It is tacky when you keep your date waiting. Some things are unforeseeable, but constantly showing up late with no explanation is rude.

Cell phone fixation. If you can’t bring yourself to put your phone away for two hours, you are probably going to look like a teenager. Turn the ringer off and update your Facebook post-date.

Lying to get laid If you are telling lies, pretending to have feelings, or faking a relationship just to get laid, you are the epitome of lame. Don’t do it – especially not with an …

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Happily ever after?

The end of the year is almost here and it brings an opportunity to reflect on our lives. When we look back over the past twelve months can we say that we were happy?

It doesn’t matter how many good or bad dates you go on or how awful or great your relationship is, if you have not found a way to feel content, you have to do what it takes to make things better.

It’s not a good plan to wait till you find the one to be happy. Expecting someone else to be your only source of joy is not a good plan but I believe many people do just that.

Do you believe in “happily ever after” and does it depend on whether you are alone or in a relationship?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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First time for everything

One of my favorite things about the beginning of a new year is that you feel as if you can “clean slate” a lot of things in your life. Somehow we get the idea that new opportunities come at the start of a new year. I think this is true but I don’t feel as if January is the only month to switch things up!

Whether it is our professional or personal life, a lot of us are adverse to change. I am definitely a creature of habit, but I am anxious to try something out and

I have been talking about taking up photography, skydiving, and traveling to Paris. I am not sure if I will do any of these things this year but I certainly will try my best.

What is something you have always wanted to try? What do you think the new year has in store for you?

Do you ever feel as if you are too cautious and careful? Have you ever tried something new in dating? How did it work and would you try it again?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Happy Friday and Happy …

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Relationship growing pains

Most relationships undergo growing pains. This is the phase when a couple argues a lot and realizes how well they handle conflict. If you are in a relationship long enough, situations will come up to test you both. Some people wait this period out – waiting for things to get better. Others bail, cut their losses, and go seek out another mate thinking things will be different. They are never different.

Every dating relationship you have will require effort, work, and a lot of patience if it is going to last. A lot of us singles aren’t good at playing the waiting game though. The moment things get messy, challenging, or slightly imperfect – we check out!

I have been guilty of this before but I finally learned that you have to be willing to wait out the tough periods. Especially when the person is wait-worthy.

Do you have a hard time getting past the growing pains of a relationship? Do you have any advice for people who are just reaching that stage of bickering and …

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Non-negotiable: Men pay for first date

I was getting a little insight about men from a married couple. They shared a lot of interesting things but the one they both agreed on was that men should always, always, always pay the bill on the first date.

Apparently, I should not take a man seriously, if he does not feel happy and eager to pay for an evening date. I can be traditional, so I can appreciate the sentiment behind this idea.

Dating – in a lot of ways – sets the tone of the relationship. Maybe that is not the case for everyone, but generally people who seek a relationship, look at dating behaviors when seeking potential mates.

When a man allows a woman to pay her own way on a first date, does it prove anything about his character? Does it say something about what he thinks of her?

What happens when a woman decides to spring for the first meal? Would it be a sign she is rich, pushy, or overbearing?

Have you ever gone dutch on a first date? If so, was there a second date?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in …

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Best date of the year

If I had to name my favorite date of 2011, it would have to be the night a guy cooked dinner for me. It was a spontaneous – last minute dinner that someone made for me simply because I had a bad day. It was thoughtful, romantic, chivalrous all rolled up in one!

Whenever I have a bad date, I try to remember the good dates. This is what makes me not completely throw in the towel. It’s those great connections we are lucky enough to experience that keeps us coming back until we meet The One …whatever that means!

What was your favorite date of 2011? What was your worst?

What do you consider the highlight of your love life this year? What happened that made you wish for a dating do over?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Change your dating strategy?

If you have not been successful in your dating this year, maybe it is time to change your strategy. There is no reason to keep doing the same things and going to the same places, if they don’t produce the results you want.

So what can you do differently to get different results? It is so easy to get stuck in a rut but exploring a new thing can be exciting and fun. Try a different part of town to mingle in. Pick up a new organization to volunteer with – you can contribute time while expanding your circle of associates. That’s win – win.

A lot of relationships begin after two people were “referred” to one another through mutual friends. I got a Facebook message from a friend in another city inquiring about single men that I know. Some people may not know you are available and open to meeting someone new. Why not casually mention that you are open to meeting new people to your close friends!

When you finally land a potential match, I think it is helpful to remember your past …

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Dating: half effort worse than no effort?

I was reading the Very Smart Brothas’ blog post entitled The Don’ts of Dating: How to Lose a Good Thing in 8 days. When I read
“Doing the bare minimum” – I heard the record scratch sound in my head. I’ve been thinking that a guy of interest has been on the bare minimum plan and wondered WHY I was even entertaining the half effort.

The harsh reality is – half effort can be just as bad as no effort. Check out what Rahiel of Urban Cusp and my buddy Panama had to say about “Doing the Bare Minimum

Rahiel: He asks her out on a date, she accepts, and he responds, “So, figure out what you want to do and let me know.” This is what one of my girls had to say about that: “Why do I now have to plan everything? Wasn’t this date your idea? I think it says a lot if a man at least puts forth the effort to suggest something you could do on your date OR God forbid actually has everything planned. I think the complete lack of effort is either laziness, lack of leadership ability, …

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Single? You have the right to be jolly!

Hello single people out there! I know this is official couples season. It’s the time of year when people are getting engaged, taking vacations together, and behaving like lovesick teens. It’s sweet! It’s endearing. It’s also …absolutely annoying to see at times.

Don’t get me wrong, I love romance and watching people fall in love. What I don’t like is getting the pity looks, sympathetic stares, and “your time will come” spiels from the smug and coupled up. Just because it is couples season doesn’t mean I have to be depressed about not being in a relationship! I have the right to be jolly!

If you are determined to make it through the next couple of weeks, you are going to need a game plan. Where will you go? What will you do? Where can you go to avoid the holiday madness?

Do you ever feel down about being single this time of year?

If you are single right now, how do you maintain your holiday cheer?

What is the best part of being unattached during the holidays?

By Wise Diva, …

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Introducing your date? Choose wisely

A reader is upset with her man because he decided to introduce her as a friend last weekend. They were at a restaurant and he ran into friends of his – all female. After months of dating, staying over, and acting a lot like “more than friends”, it bothered her that he doesn’t think they are at the stage of using the girlfriend-boyfriend label.

Is it important to name each other with a label? Should you have “the talk” of exclusivity so you know where you stand?

I don’t know the age of the woman who emailed me, but I suspect she is a little young and inexperienced with men. If things are going well, do you really need a guy to introduce you to other women as his woman?

Does it matter what they call you or how they treat you?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Introducing your date? Choose wisely »