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Can women really handle no strings?

There is an ongoing debate whether women can’t handle strictly physical relationships. Some believe that women can do it – but not for extended periods of time. Others believe that women “convince” themselves that it is fine with them, while secretly holding out for a real romance to bud.

Let’s take a little totally unscientific poll here:

Do you believe that women can handle casual sex? In your experience, is it a good idea or bad idea?

Are there circumstances that casual sex with no strings attached recommended?

For the record, I believe it is completely possible to be involved with someone and not be emotionally attached. But enough about me. What do you think?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

334 comments Add your comment

For Real

November 29th, 2011
10:33 am

GracieL: For the record a booty call do not have time stamp but they do have a shelf life (i.e.”TRUST me when I tell you I have no problem saying, “No thanks”). However, if a booty call is done correctly, there will always be a residual itch left in your booty call that she will one day need to scratch. (insert fast talking legal disclaimer)

GracieL

November 29th, 2011
10:35 am

Celisea: “Honestly ladies – Can you say you wouldn’t have a problem knowing a dude is doing you and some other ladies all in one week or during the same time? Would you not be upset if you found out that he was pulling out all the stops for someone else and just hitting you up in between?”

Honestly, yes I have experienced this. Had a BF who was a serious sociopath, playing me and other women at the same time. I insisted on condoms (always a good idea!) but he’d sometimes work his way around that (at 5 a.m while I was still asleep… geez!) The problem was that he WAS playing us all — talking the love talk, pretending to be smitten, always referencing things he planned for our future together, telling me he’d always be there for me. And there was something about him I just…. loved, in spite of everything, because he’d reappear over the years with a convincing story that his last marriage was a mistake and he really loves me, yadda yadda. He’s evil, and has a massive trail of broken hearts in his wake. If a man just wants to be casual, he should be up front about that. It’s the 21st century; it’s not like there are no women wanting a NSA good time. Some people (like the evil one) get their jollies from building people up to tear them down. Cutting deep is how they amuse themselves. Not cool.

GamePlan

November 29th, 2011
10:36 am

Good topic. Like someone said earlier, I think women can do NSA until they find out there is another chick in the mix. Not proud of it, but I was the married man who was bored, and had NSA with another married woman. She was cool with the arrangement until she found out that she wasn’t the only one in the mix.

Celisea

November 29th, 2011
10:38 am

Gracie – That situationship doesn’t sound like it was an agreed upon NSA or FWB for you….sounds like it was for him though. If I’m mistaken and it was a NSA for you as well, shouldn’t you be void of any ill feelings? I mean in situationships it’s anything goes…whatever works or floats your boat. Now if it wasn’t a situationship for you then yes he was dead wrong and you’re all the better for getting away from him.

Celisea

November 29th, 2011
10:39 am

Now if it wasn’t a situationship for you I meant “for him”

kimmie

November 29th, 2011
10:41 am

Morning beautiful people!

Can women handle NSA? It depends. She must be honest with herself about what she wants and doesn’t want, though, to be happy.

There is nothing wrong with not being able to handle it or being just fine with it. Others don’t have the right to sit back and judge. It’s your life.

I do know that dudes catch feelings more than they care to admit. Many of THEM can’t handle NSA.

Personally it was never for me because I’m wired like a typical woman – my heart is tied to the physical act. And yes, the knowledge that he’s getting with others as well as me would not work.

I tried something casual once, on the rebound. I felt completely empty. It was a feeling I never want to experience again.

So naw, not for me, but to each her own.

i'm swiss™

November 29th, 2011
10:42 am

Slim — This is going to sound like a stupid question, but just in case: Does your phone also have wifi? And if so, are you currently connected to a wifi network? (i.e. maybe you’re on a bad wifi network rather than Sprint’s data network)

mark

November 29th, 2011
10:42 am

Hell a lot of these emotional dudes can handle no strings sex. as for me in my experience, once a woman gets some of this SWEETMEAT once or Twice she’s done!

Celisea

November 29th, 2011
10:42 am

And really to what GamePlan just said, is it really NSA if you’re good with it only under the assumption that it’s just you and ya’ll ain’t made it official? Is it REEEEALLY NSA if you get mad finding out about another?

For Real

November 29th, 2011
10:43 am

T-Mobile: Thank you for calling T-Mobile. May I have your account number or cellphone?

Slim: My cell nimba is Fo Oh Fo – Sevem Two Ninnne – Fordie-Eight-Hundit

T-Mobile: Hold please while I pull up your account. Okay I have it now. I see you are experiencing issues with the internet.

Slim: Yeah! Da enna-net down.

T-Mobile: Yes maam please hold.

Slim: Thank you.

T-Mobile: Thank you for holding, this T-Mobile technical department and we have diagnosed your problem.

Slim: Okay.What wrong wit my phone?

T-Mobile: PAY YO FUGGIN BILL!!!!!!

Celisea

November 29th, 2011
10:44 am

Kimmie – I agree. I think the average man that’s “feeling” a woman don’t want her with other men.

disco

November 29th, 2011
10:44 am

gracie – dang. did you call the man evil? to me it just sounds like he was the typical no good, trifling player type but evil? that’s deep.

celisea – do you have a word-a-day calendar because you put that in your rotation immediately. ha ha.

Robert

November 29th, 2011
10:44 am

@Leggs – “D..k on speed dial, then do the quick step out the door.”

I like your style. Call me.

SlimNu

November 29th, 2011
10:45 am

Global outage for Blackberry’s —> WACK

GracieL

November 29th, 2011
10:46 am

Celisea,

No, it was not an understood NSA agreement for me. He’d always come to me with some sad story, playing vulnerable, seeking my warmth and compassion, which he knew I’d give because he knew I loved him and that’s how I am. There were always nice dinners out, and helpful man-tasks around the house, phone calls just to hear my voice. He was/is a for-real playah. The phone call from another woman (who got my # from his phone bill) to compare notes was eye opening. He also brags to his friends about how many women have threatened him with legal actions and/or want him dead. Sadistic sociopaths are not that uncommon, actually. He’s a textbook case, and now that I understand what’s going on, I am finally free of him.

Celisea

November 29th, 2011
10:47 am

disco – Nope…it’s just fitting for folks talking NSA…situationship. I can think of other words but that wouldn’t be very nice…ha ha ha

SlimNu

November 29th, 2011
10:49 am

For Real – If that wasn’t funny I would’ve kicked yo ass. :lol:

SexyCool

November 29th, 2011
10:50 am

I have come to realize that this is something that is specific to each person and depends upon their mindset at the time of said undertaking.

For me, as I came to know myself better and have definite ideas about what I wanted in my life and in my relationships, it became something that I had zero interest in even attempting.

GamePlan

November 29th, 2011
10:50 am

@Celisea. That’s what tripped me out. If it’s NSA, then what does it matter if you are not the only one. What we have should be only confined to the physical act and what goes on outside of that shouldn’t be a concern of yours.

Leggs

November 29th, 2011
10:51 am

Thanks for the hearty laugh, ForReal!!!

For Real

November 29th, 2011
10:52 am

I think we all agree if a person has feelings for another person they do not wish for that to other people and being male or female is no requirement for that…. My question Kimmie is where you raised or taught to tie your emotions to your cudda cat? “You” because you made the statement but “you” as it pertains to women in general.

Celisea

November 29th, 2011
10:53 am

GracieL – Good riddance to bad rubbish :) You’re all the better.

Exactly GamePlan

Robert

November 29th, 2011
10:53 am

@MsMarriedUp – “Generally, married women are rarely lonely, at least not those who do the NSA’s.”

We live in hard times and married and single people are feeling the results of a bad situation (jobs, homes, kids, etc.). I have married female friends who before the hard times had a great life, but know are finding it difficult to maintain a household. Most married women have jobs and are the bread winners in their family. Their husbands can not find jobs and are putting a burden on the family. Some women will use this as an excuse to have “casual sex” with a man who can help her financially. Would you “by any means neccessary” ?

Celisea

November 29th, 2011
10:55 am

Robert – You shole do have a lot of statistics and stuff on women and what we do based on age brackets, incomes and sitations…lol

disco

November 29th, 2011
10:55 am

well here’s an off topic for the ladies. those of you who wear body shapers do you find yourself strutting a little bit? I just caught myself switching, yes switching – something I don’t ordinarily do and a word I haven’t heard or used in forever – to the copy machine. go figure.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 29th, 2011
10:55 am

Women take different approaches for every situation. I think a sensitive woman would have a hard time with no strings where as a hardened woman would find comfort for a short period of time. I’ve been tested and tried and after time passed she gave in and wanted more from me. The problem was my mindset hadn’t changed, and that was the only way I could see her. She isn’t wrong for wanting what she want, it’s when you plant that in a man’s head you’ve taken yourself out of any equation for long term committement. Seem after a while she didn’t like I had other opportunities, now it’s I can’t have neither can she have.

Great Morning:

Leggs

November 29th, 2011
11:05 am

You said it, BF, once you plant that in a man’s head you’ve taken yourself out any other equation….DING, DING, DING!!!

Celisea

November 29th, 2011
11:06 am

I don’t do bodyshapers. Although, I up 10 pounds…booo….got on the scale yesterday. I guess it’s back to the gym for real for me. I actually went this weekend…they moved and I couldn’t get in.

For Real

November 29th, 2011
11:06 am

Gracie: Looka here Otis, I know you are lying cause I just spokedit to Calamine and she told me everythang!!!

Otis: Awwww come now Gracie. Memba I told you about Calamine and how she is a special need person that work wit in a voluntary capacity?

Gracie: You volunteer??? Ohhhhh Ody-Wody how could I ever doubt you?

Otis: Well I’m just a man that does what he can do when I can do what I do and I would like to have sex um I mean make love you to now.

Gracie: You betcha and I will even do that little thing you like for me to do to you.

Otis: Awww yeah that’s what I’m talking about. Um one more thing, do you mind if Calamine watch?

Gracie: WTF?

Otis: I promise she will only spank my azz just 3 times.

kimmie

November 29th, 2011
11:07 am

4 Real – I think it was something that came natural, but I guess how I was raised contributed to it. I mean, my parents tried to instill moral values and self-respect. Respect for my body. I didn’t rush into sex and I had to have feelings for a man to go there with him. By the time that mindset was established within me, casual just couldn’t work.

Celisea

November 29th, 2011
11:08 am

I didn’t rush into sex and I had to have feelings for a man to go there with him. By the time that mindset was established within me, casual just couldn’t work.

This is me alllll the way.

disco

November 29th, 2011
11:13 am

celisea – a friend of mine stopped allowing her kids to trick or treat because she claims she once gained 5 pounds over a weekend snacking on candy. I thought that was hilarious but I don’t have the up/down weight issues. I’m always tickled that some women have several sizes of clothes in their closet. guess I’ll knock on wood. here’s to 10 forever. (before someone attacks, I’m a size 10, not tooting my own horn and saying I’m a 10).

Celisea

November 29th, 2011
11:14 am

And being up 10 pounds, I’m back to eating fruit (ugh) and no sweets. I did good this weekend. I went to the store twice to get something sweet but opted to do otherwise. So I bought fruit and groceries only…no junk food. I had a few fries over the weekend but that was all.

M. (pronouced M dot)

November 29th, 2011
11:14 am

I think its possible for women to go the casual route but only for so long…eventually she is either going to:

1. Want something more
2. Get with the next guy.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 29th, 2011
11:16 am

I know that it would work for a small percentage of women for a short time. Sooner rather than later, the clock circle’s back to midnight and I’ve seen some of the hardest women crack that said they never would or could. Then it’s a emotional roller coaster ride that both would want to soon forget.

For Real

November 29th, 2011
11:16 am

Kimmie: Thanks for your comment.

Host: And for participating you now have a chance at winning one of the three prizes behind each one of those zipper on a single pair of pants.

Kimmie: A prize??? Oh wow, I really love prizes.

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Kimmie: I’m so nervous…

Host: Okay Kimmie take your time select a zipper and carefully and I mean carefully unzip your prize.

Leggs

November 29th, 2011
11:16 am

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Celisea

November 29th, 2011
11:17 am

disco – i didn’t realize it was up to 10. i don’t feel any heavier and the clothes fit the same. i don’t really have weight issues. i’m not a string bean but i can pretty much eat what i want without massive weight coming on. i will say though if i lose myself to junk junk junk, that’s when the fluctuation start. If I lay off, it comes right off.

For Real

November 29th, 2011
11:20 am

heyyyyyy it’s against the law to give out pant and dress sizes without stating your height.

A size 10 and you are 6′5″ is totally different than a size 10 at 5′6″

Fion

November 29th, 2011
11:24 am

……..cricket, cricket, cricket!

disco

November 29th, 2011
11:25 am

for real – I’ve already advertised that I’m short. still, out of curiosity – what’s the fine?

SlimNu

November 29th, 2011
11:25 am

I wonder what’s going to happen with the 8yr boy who was thrown out of a window & choked by his mom that apparently snapped to the pressures of life. She also stabbed her 4year old to death. That’s just so crazy to me…

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 29th, 2011
11:27 am

Leggs:

I’ll pass that along to a friend, that held the same position at another place. You know where.

Celisea

November 29th, 2011
11:29 am

My sister said (the house is across the street from was my SIL’s home a few years back), the word was already put out by that mother that her power was turned off and that if she couldn’t come up with moneh for having it restored and money to buy food she would kill her kids and then herself. Not sure how true that is but that’s what my sister told me last night.

abc

November 29th, 2011
11:30 am

No strings would indicate no repeat performances also, right? No strings is no strings. No expectations, no return — just bam bam, seeya. Pretty tawdry. I had pretty much given up being like that by the time I was 21, people that persist in that sort of thing have some kind of problem or something, in my opinion. Hey, more power to ‘em. Just don’t have kids.

kimmie

November 29th, 2011
11:33 am

I would think the whole NSA scenario would get old eventually for anyone, male or female. Especially if that’s the extent of all your relationships. I would think anyone would want something more substantial, even if you don’t want to get married.

But that’s my assumption.

kimmie

November 29th, 2011
11:34 am

4 Real – U crazy!LOL!

Leggs

November 29th, 2011
11:35 am

I realize one doesn’t really know what they will do until they’re actually faced with a dilemna, but if I’m going to snap, I don’t think I’ll snap on my child. Again, she should have stabbed herself to death.

disco

November 29th, 2011
11:39 am

no strings for life? an interesting concept. heck, I know a few married folks who might actually live by that mantra. married but if you didn’t know it, you wouldn’t know it. I agree though – no strings forever might be an issue. no strings to get you through a dry spell – nothing wrong with that.

Leggs

November 29th, 2011
11:40 am

NSA can definitely have repeat performances.