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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Marriage material? Prove it

If you are perpetually single and want to get married, you may have to start sending out your “marriage material” signals. There are some people who do live their lives in a way that is conducive to marriage. Then there are others who talk, live, and conduct their lives in a way that screams “Single for life!” – and maybe that is turning people off.

When you first meet someone you are interested in, they may size you up and put you under “marriage material” scrutiny. How do you think you would come off? Single for life or ready for marriage?

Do you ever worry that your fabulous single life may send the message that you are not willing, ready, or able to give it up and merge with someone else?

What changes, if any, should be made so that you can prove that you are indeed ready for love and marriage?

P.S. I hope everyone has a safe and spectacular holiday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

138 comments Add your comment

abc

November 23rd, 2011
11:25 am

Taking a child’s consequences upon yourself does the child more harm than good. That’s just mis-placed. You can protect a child from a lot of things, but you can’t do much to protect them from themselves — especially once they’re grown. Issues of ethics, morals and character have to be taught and enforced at an early age.

My approach with my kids was to tell them that I wasn’t here to be their buddy, that my job was mainly to eliminate in them behavior that I didn’t like. As they grew into teens and late teens, I reiterated over and over that what I wanted for them and of them was self sufficiency, because the old man ain’t gonna be around forever, and I want to know they’ll be okay. Going to jail for any of them wouldn’t serve that purpose very well.

Leggs

November 23rd, 2011
11:29 am

Must admit, I find myself thinking about marriage in terms of whether I can do it again. Not sure if one needs to “project” that they’re marriage material. All one needs to do is “project” who they are and let others determine if it’s package they want to unwrap.

Celisea

November 23rd, 2011
11:31 am

Reio – I’m there with you. Wanna kill ‘em some days.

disco – Loving your child unconditionally for any parent in their right mind means to the degree of what’s best and what’s right. It doesn’t make you lose sight of what’s right nor delusional. When I speak, I’m speaking in terms of shielding from any and all harm…physically, emotionally, etc.

If my child commit a crime please know I’m not bsing, what’s right? Paying the price. At all cost, you do what you have to do for your child. That’s no different than tough love.

disco

November 23rd, 2011
11:31 am

abc – now on that point we agree. my recent breakup was because the SO was doing too much (translation – EVERYTHING) for his adult daughter and both of them are completely comfortable with that scenario. when I call him on anything he simply says “but that’s my baby”. true story – he told her she needed to get her resume together and look for a job. a few weeks later he asked how the job search was going and she replied that she was waiting for him to prepare her resume for her.

Celisea

November 23rd, 2011
11:33 am

More explicitly….my child steals and not caught? I’m calling the police. A parent’s job is as best you can to do the rearing in a well-rounded fashion. One sided delusional love only makes them a mennace. I tell her all the time, if she does anything illegal or wrong or a crime, I’ll be the first to turn her in. She knows I’m not playing. Smooching and buying a kid everything they want is so far removed from real love.

DreamsMaterialize

November 23rd, 2011
11:51 am

I just think a person needs to love themselves properly before they can love someone else.
disco I would go a step further and say that you CAN’T love someone else unless you love yourself first. With that said, I think you can love someone more than yourself, given that you already love yourself. Why else go through with having a kid? You could surely have decided not to have the child out of “self-interest”, but I’m guessing there was something that you held higher than yourself that caused you to want your child to live.

Celisea Things are good on my end. I’m trying to get out of here early today, but I’m not sure it’s going to happen.

Leggs

November 23rd, 2011
11:53 am

@abc ~ your post @11:25 is so on point! Great post.

DreamsMaterialize

November 23rd, 2011
11:56 am

Yeah, I won’t do ANYTHING for my kid. I will do ANYTHING I believe GOD wants me to do to raise a GOD-reverent, respectable, honorable, productive child. If that means doing something for them, I’ll do that. If it means letting them fall on their face doing it on their own, I’ll do that too.

Leggs

November 23rd, 2011
12:06 pm

@Celisea ~ when my child was five or six when she attempted to steal some books from Publix. I noticed during checkout that she had 3 children books behind her back while sitting in the cart. I intentionally walked to the car to put the groceries in to see how she would manage to get the books in the car w/o me seeing them. I already knew what I was going to do. While bending down to putting the groceries in the trunk she threw the books in. I placed the rest of the groceries in trunk, took the books and walked her back into the store. I had already seen 2 police officers having lunch in the back. I walked to the manager, gave him the books and took her to the police officers. I told them what she had done and had them talk to her and the repercussions I would have to deal with. I wanted to make an example and scare the crap out of her, which I did. Long story short, I’m not going to jail for my child at any age. Whenever on Memorial Drive I always point to the jailhouse saying you never want to make this bldg your home.

DreamsMaterialize

November 23rd, 2011
12:09 pm

you never want to make this bldg your home.
Leggs You got that right…’cause it sure as heck won’t be my home. lol

disco

November 23rd, 2011
12:10 pm

dreams – the question that you posed could open up a whole new can of something and I won’t go down that controversial road this pre-holiday afternoon.

leggs – I actually waited for the day when my son would actually steal something. figured it was almost like a childhood right of passage. a candy bar, pack of gum something. but it never happened. he didn’t get the thieving gene. guess that came from me because as bad as I was I couldn’t steal. some of my cousins, boy, they’d steal butter out of a hot biscuit as my grandma would say. my brother got caught stealing a transformer when he was younger and the cops brought him home.

Sniffer!

November 23rd, 2011
12:16 pm

If u ain’t married this late in ur lyfe then u ain’t marriage material.

U can talk,rationalize and banter All u want.

Marriage like Love cannot be rationalized and explain like a mathematical formulae.

It happens
Luv just happens

Ofcourse when u meet somebody u want to know if they are marriage material(most single people do) if they are,the connection happens,if they are not,it fizzles.

Some don’t know that they are not marriage material. They date,do this and that but it never happens. Its life. Life is not fair!

Its like going to heaven

Only few of us Chosen will get there! :lol: Some will spend a lyfe of doing good but stumble at the last hurdle. Others spent a life of debauchery but repent in the end! See…

Happy Turkey Eating!

Into the Light

November 23rd, 2011
12:17 pm

Hey y’all.

Just wanted to check in and say hi and happy thanksgiving to all. Well, that and I’m taking a break from cleaning and packing. :)

disco, glad to see you made it back. I was afraid Stairwell Security had caught up with you!

Leggs, did you get those greens made? I’ll be by to get a bowl, and some pot likker. Oh, and if you could put some hot sauce, onions, and cornbread in my to-go bag, it would be much appreciated. I can see me now on the road to Cackalacky, eating greens and making a mess. :)

Sniffer!

November 23rd, 2011
12:23 pm

Reio!

nice post buddy

If u wanna get married(men) try going to church.

Church will make u meek(weak in street lingo)

That’s the character trait u need to deal with a woman(committed woman)

Yes baby,yes sweetie,yes darling …like that…..

If u not willing to succumb for the king haul to that kind of lunar manipulation/twists and turns by a woman,stay single.

Women (in the house) are HARD WORK

(not that I go to church that much but I know what’s required to be that kinda person)

Sniffer!

November 23rd, 2011
12:24 pm

Leggs

November 23rd, 2011
12:26 pm

@ITL ~ greens made, yams made, mac and cheese made. Now, my kitchen is a freaking mess. Flour everywhere. Don’t know what the heck possessed me to get up and make a cobbler from scratch. Haven’t made one in years. Shifting flour and cutting it with shortening is crazy. I don’t miss this part. I used to roll the dough with a glass. But, using this rolling pin is so much easier (LOLOL).

disco

November 23rd, 2011
12:29 pm

hey ITL – you know those rental cops/flashlight police can’t catch me.

leggs – peach cobbler. now that’s what’s up. I LOVES me some peach cobbler. my family, in general, are hounds for banana pudding and sweet potato pie but I love the cobbler and the pound cake.

Into the Light

November 23rd, 2011
12:30 pm

YUM! That sounds worth a detour! I have a feeling I’m going to have time to kill on 85, so I might as well have a plate packed. :)

I don’t know why, but I LOVE sifting flour. I love cranking that little handle and watching that fine flour drift into the bowl. And I never have mastered using the pastry cutter; I usually just use a fork instead. Works as well, and much easier to handle.

Get my plate ready, I’m on the way…

Sniffer!

November 23rd, 2011
12:31 pm

@disco?

I will do anything for my kid is an expression not a literal statement if intent.

just means u have ur kids best interest at heart!(morally good interests)

Going to jail for or taking the fall for ur kids ain’t parenthood! It’s actually abetting and aiding a crime and creating the wrong values in ur kids.

I think u need to loosen up a bit :lol:

Sniffer!

November 23rd, 2011
12:32 pm

Leggs

November 23rd, 2011
12:37 pm

Thanks, ITL, I meant sifting, not shifting (lol). As a child, I too loved cranking the handle and watching the fine flour sift through.

Celisea

November 23rd, 2011
12:38 pm

Leggs – LOLOLOL….not the police. I was about 5 years old and took a few rolls of Life Savers. My mama said you march right back in there and give them back. That was the end of that.

Celisea

November 23rd, 2011
12:39 pm

MMeello – I will do anything for my kid is an expression not a literal statement if intent.just means u have ur kids best interest at heart!(morally good interests)

Told ya man, sometimes you’re alright with me :)

Into the Light

November 23rd, 2011
12:39 pm

Okay, I really have to finish up here, if I’m going to make SC before dark.

Y’all be good, and have a great holiday!

disco

November 23rd, 2011
12:45 pm

sniffer – I owned that I tend to take things literally right up front. yeah – I know what folks mean but in discussion/debate I tend to pick words apart. don’t get me wrong I make figurative statements all the time but I still reserve the right to pick at literal ones if the mood suits me.

as for my being uptight – being called uptight doesn’t hurt me. folks tell me to loosen up/let my hair down all the time (my own momma says I need to smoke). I admit to being a little rigid. I’m cool with me.

DreamsMaterialize

November 23rd, 2011
1:33 pm

Leggs Keep a plate in the oven for me, especially that cobbler. Man, I love some peach cobbler. You making me feel like getting in the kitchen and burning. Ok feeling passed. lol

DreamsMaterialize

November 23rd, 2011
1:35 pm

Ok so what’s up with the chicks fighting in the beauty salon at Wally World? All that heat, perm, conditioner, relaxer, and weave got chicks going crazy. lol

Reio

November 23rd, 2011
1:36 pm

A good sweet potato pie does ot for me. Yum,yum!

Leggs

November 23rd, 2011
1:38 pm

My hands hurt.

@Celisea ~ when I saw the police eating I thought that could be used as a real life scared straight program for my lil crumb snatcher/book stealer.

@DreamsM ~ that feeling passed mighty quickly. :lol: I’m so loving having such a big jump on my cooking. Going to take the week off again next year (God willing I still have a job this time next year).

DreamsMaterialize

November 23rd, 2011
1:41 pm

that feeling passed mighty quickly.
Leggs I actually really like to cook. It’s the cleanup that I hate, and Thanksgiving cleanup is like no other.

SlimNu

November 23rd, 2011
1:43 pm

God willing and the creek don’t rise. lol

Dreams – Peach cobbler is one of my fav desserts. I just hate making it because I actually roll out my own dough for the crust. It’s much easier to order it from This is It :lol:

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2011
1:46 pm

Hey people!!!!!

Celisea

November 23rd, 2011
1:49 pm

Okay folks…we have the greenlight and why am I still here? I need to finish my potato soup and diet coke :) First stop…Phipps, next stop bbq shack :)

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2011
1:49 pm

Dreams – it wasn’t the beauty salon. It was the nail salon. And the person that ended up injured was the innocent bystander.

Thing is, from the description of how everything went down, if that chick had been in there acting like she was for as long as they said she was, I would have been ticked off that security/police were not called a lot sooner.

Celisea

November 23rd, 2011
1:50 pm

Annnnnd I just dropped the diet coke…great

Celisea

November 23rd, 2011
1:51 pm

They looked like straight alleybats. Folks know not to let NOTHING happen. There is always a phone somewhere catching it

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2011
1:53 pm

But typically, the Asian salon workers just talk sht about you in their language instead of addressing you directly. It happened to me a few months back. I was not satisfied with how this dude was doing my feet and I politely told him so. He got pissed off and started yelling at me in Vietnamese. This is a shop that I had patronized for several years across from West End Mall. I told Nina (the owner) that she needed to get someone else to service me.

After that day, I promised that I would not patronize a shop where English is not spoken if at all possible. Now, I go to the shop over in Camp Creek that is owned by someone that looks like me and who requires that English is spoken in her establishment. (Because most of her employees are Asian.)

Leggs

November 23rd, 2011
1:56 pm

@SlimNu ~ rolling out the dough is indeed work. Can you imagine doing it with a tall glass and not a rolling pin (lolol).

@SexyC/DreamsM ~ what happened at the nail salon??

SlimNu

November 23rd, 2011
1:58 pm

It trips me out when you patronize a business and they get upset that you won’t just accept anything ole kinda service. If you wanted a botched toe job, you could’ve stayed at home and done it yourself…not paid someone else to do a crappy job lol

cba

November 23rd, 2011
1:58 pm

DreamsM, I just discovered that Wally World is in my hood, less than 10 mins away……just dam!!
Why did they allow the woman to raise hell for half an hour before calling the POlice???

Alright Leggs, as the ole folks used to say, you putting yo foots in that dinner (lol)
One of my wife’s uncle would say, he gotta take his shirt off to enjoy that meal.

SlimNu

November 23rd, 2011
2:00 pm

Leggs – A tall glass…oh heyal nawwww! lol I’d rather use one of those mini Braves baseball bats before having to use a glass. But you work with what you’ve got I suppose ;-) I miss making homemade biscuits with my mom back in the day. She used to let my sister and I cut the dough with a glass dipped in flower. Awww, the days.

DreamsMaterialize

November 23rd, 2011
2:02 pm

it wasn’t the beauty salon. It was the nail salon. And the person that ended up injured was the innocent bystander.
SexyC My bad, the nail salon. Man those fumes got chicks going crazy. j/k lol I feel bad for the young girl though. Wrong place, wrong time

Now, I go to the shop over in Camp Creek that is owned by someone that looks like me.
SexyC Funny, I’ve had this conversation lots of times, and it’s amazing how many women have outright told me they won’t go to a nail salon unless it’s Asians doing it, even if the quality were the same. If that’s not self-loathing, I don’t know what is. I’m not surprised you made that choice though. You seem to be a smart and reasonable woman…certainly WAY smarter than the chickadees I’ve had that convo with. lol

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2011
2:04 pm

Leggs – you should be able to see footage of the fight on Channel 2’s website.

SexyCool

November 23rd, 2011
2:12 pm

Dreams – I used to like going to that shop just because of Nina – a real cool chick. But, I’m not going to be taking her my money and when she has employees acting the ass.

I used to be the chick that wouldn’t wait in a nail shop. Hell, there are usually three within rock throwing distance of each other. So, if I walked in and there was a wait, I would just go to the next one.

But now, I will wait a reasonable time for service in the salon at Camp Creek. (lol)

Leggs

November 23rd, 2011
2:16 pm

Thanks, SexyC.

@SlimNu ~ when I started making cobbler, I didn’t own a rolling pin nor a bat. Heck, the thought never entered my mind. The person who taught me how to make cobbler told me I have surpassed her cobbler. Now, that’s a compliment. The Teacher and her Grasshopper. I morphed into a Master (lol).

DreamsMaterialize

November 23rd, 2011
2:27 pm

Conference call at 3pm…really!

disco

November 23rd, 2011
2:33 pm

i am still here.

Reio

November 23rd, 2011
2:39 pm

Don’t nothing bout nails,toes, weaves, Asians ….I saw the video on the internet though.

DreamsMaterialize

November 23rd, 2011
2:49 pm

i am still here.
disco Me too. I’m about to open up the blog bar. What you in the mood for?

SlimNu

November 23rd, 2011
2:51 pm

Leggs – You’re a master Cobblererrerrrr lol