Dating: Mixed signals
Most of us have been subjected to the mixed signals of dating. You get a green light, then you get a red one. Things get red hot, then suddenly they turn cold. What gives?!
A friend of mine is dating a guy who only kicks up his efforts when she acts as if she is not interested in him. She will ignore his calls and text messages for a few days and put him on the back burner. That is when he kicks it into high gear and pursues her more. Their most romantic dates usually occur after she decides he is out of her life.
Perhaps it is about having a challenge; maybe he is dating multiple people and wants to keep her in the mix. Do you think that mixed signals is really just a sign that someone is being played?
What do you do when the person you are seeing starts to get a little flaky and inconsistent? If you really like them, do you try to be a little patient or can mixed signals be the deal breaker?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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273 comments Add your comment
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
1:44 pm
Oh, and the CFO called this morning and got all hot in the collar with me because I didn’t spaze out over some rep that pretty much wouldn’t hop through hoops for her. I didn’t either so she got mad with me. I escalated to that team’s executive box……to cover my behind. Don’t trust her being as mad as she was cause somebody’s head didn’t roll like she wanted.
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
1:45 pm
Leggs it’s Jones of NY….heck yeah!!!! I jumped at it when I saw it on the rack.
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
1:46 pm
CFO for one of my clients
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
1:47 pm
And the accounting director for a health care system in Atlanta cause somebody didn’t get something done for her while I was gone. I GET SO SICK AND TIRED OF THE FEELING OF ENTITLEMENT….gheesh
Back to more pleasant things
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
1:47 pm
CEl – standard CYA – that’s what’s up.
Into the Light
November 22nd, 2011
1:48 pm
I wanna go home. Hmph.
Leggs
November 22nd, 2011
1:50 pm
I
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
1:50 pm
Exactly….I typed it word for word too. I wanted to say “what’s your point”
DreamsMaterialize
November 22nd, 2011
1:51 pm
Feels like molasses in this joint. lol How you doing Cely Cel? What’s good SexyC and Leggs? I see you all holding it down.
Leggs
November 22nd, 2011
1:51 pm
It feels really good to get a jump on Thanksgiving cooking.
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
1:53 pm
Nuttin’…chillin….like Bruh man from da fif flo (holding up four fingers)…
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
1:53 pm
Hey Dreams…what’s shaking? I’m good.
I haven’t cooked nor do I plan to cook. I haven’t for 3 years now (for Thanksgiving). Don’t judge me but I’m heading to the rib shack tomorrow and buy food for 2 days and that’s what we’re eating Friday and Saturday. Traditional Thanksgiving will be served at my mom/sister’s. That’s where the clan will be. And and yes, I get “joned” to death by my sibs for not cooking.
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
1:53 pm
Leggs – I was at the store yesterday morning at 630a gettin’ my groceries…
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
1:58 pm
Okay..I think year before last I cooked collars but pretty much…nope. I’ve gotten soooo lazy with my kid being a big girl. I even buy desert.
Holding my head down in shame.
Leggs
November 22nd, 2011
1:59 pm
@DreamsM ~ going to tackle the greens. Biggest headache for me when making a big dinner.
@SexyC ~ here I thought if I got out early today I could by pass most of the crowds. I did, but I also went to 3 stores. Biggest surprise is Reynolds Wrap went from 25 sq.ft to 20 sq.ft to now 18 sq.ft.
@Celisea ~ it’s just me and rug rat, but I want my own food. Nice to raid the fridge late at night for something. I think my child will be with her dad and his mother. I want no part of that, but she’s free to go.
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
2:01 pm
Legg – I’m purchasing a couple of slabs and some big sides…for late night raids…lol Come Saturday, I’m be ready to toss anything left over.
Into the Light
November 22nd, 2011
2:02 pm
I’m watching the minutes tick by….literally FORCING myself to complete tasks. I have the “itis” bad.
Purple Reign
November 22nd, 2011
2:03 pm
(opens the door and peeks in…)
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
2:05 pm
Me too ITL…my concious is kicking at me because it’s not to get paid and not work but I’m struggling today.
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
2:05 pm
Purple – Did you speak to me earlier??
Leggs
November 22nd, 2011
2:06 pm
@Celisea ~ I’m not a big fan of turkey, but got a fried turkey. I’d rather have your slabs…didn’t think of those. Pretty sure the cul-de-sac will have open door welcome mats (lolol).
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
2:08 pm
I don’t think I’ve had traditional turkey for some years now. My brother fries turkeys for his cul-de-sac and a couple of others….my mom lives across the street from him. He goes out back in the opening of his garage and him and the decons at church sit outside and talk and snack until he’s done frying for everybody.
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
2:08 pm
he
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
2:09 pm
deacons
disco
November 22nd, 2011
2:12 pm
celisea/sassy – I’m still up in this piece too. I do have some time I’ve got to use up as well so I’ll be a bit MIA in December as well. need to commit to which days.
fion – it hasn’t happened recently but I’d say we’d have to take it old school and call “dibs”. if we both call dibs at the same time then someone will have to punch the other in the arm. (did anyone else use to do that?)
SCool – hush up. “I’se married now”
celisea – I don’t know what compelled me to put sulfur 8 in my hair the other night. I think it was because I didn’t want to melt down any coconut oil. I will say that it’s been about 3 days and my hair is fabulous but I can still smell the sulfur 8 from time to time.
Into the Light
November 22nd, 2011
2:14 pm
tick tock tick tock….
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
2:15 pm
disco – Imma send post cards in December…lol Sulfur 8 you say? It’s changed over the years. It’s very light now. Remember it was all brown and gunky and heavy and EVERYBODY knew “your mama greased your scalp” with it even 10 days later? LOL I’ve been sleeping on my hair so it’s just straight now. That’s already the appointment has already been set.
disco
November 22nd, 2011
2:18 pm
celisea – I say the movie the help reminded a bunch of chicks that they were supposed to feel entitled. and yes I did say sulfur 8. some folks laugh when I tell them I have some. still, I don’t use it often but every few months or so I’ll pull it out. you’d think those folks would work on the fragrance. heck, I guess they did work on the fragrance. it’s nowhere near as strong as I remember it being back in the day.
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
2:20 pm
That’s okay….is what I meant
Heck I even ate my lunch before 11:00 so the day REALLY seems long. Lunch time for me was over 4 hours ago.
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
2:24 pm
disco – My mom always said it was very good for creating healthy hair. Back then it was connected plaits (sp) and Sulfur 8…lol
Alternative Black Man
November 22nd, 2011
2:32 pm
Why is it that this blog only talks about man and woman relations? I would like for some topics to be geared towards gays.
Leggs
November 22nd, 2011
2:35 pm
Probably because gay men haven’t been on with their POV. We’ve had a few lesbians on discussing things, but to be honest, ABM, you can do what a lot of posters do here = submit topics to WD yourself.
Into the Light
November 22nd, 2011
2:40 pm
….and cue the crickets….
Alternative Black Man
November 22nd, 2011
2:44 pm
I find this blog has a lot of things I can relate too but there is not a strictly alternative blog on the AJC.
As for this topic, I can tell you that mixed signals is something I am totally familiar with. I have dated a lot of married men who act like they do not want anything to do with me in public but when we are in a bedroom, backseat of a car or restroom they certainly have the green light.
I like the strong manly type but they are always having wives and freinds who would make fun.
Into the Light
November 22nd, 2011
2:44 pm
Okay….let’s see…..
If your house was on fire, and all the people and animals were out safely, but you had time to rescue ONE thing, what would it be and why?
disco
November 22nd, 2011
2:45 pm
i think even the crickets left.
Into the Light
November 22nd, 2011
2:47 pm
Can’t say that I blame them, disco.
Leggs
November 22nd, 2011
2:48 pm
Well, there weren’t any mixed signals ABM, they were married. You decided to ignore the mixed signals.
If you’re relationships consists of those men on DL, then you’re willing to ignore the mixed signals and your hurt is self-induced.
Leggs
November 22nd, 2011
2:50 pm
I’m done! Coming on here talking about men with wives and wanting a forum to discuss it. Where’s my cricket….
Into the Light
November 22nd, 2011
2:52 pm
I don’t know, grasshopper….. LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Leggs
November 22nd, 2011
2:53 pm
@ITL ~ ummmm, birth certificates.
disco
November 22nd, 2011
2:53 pm
leggs it sounds like you’d use the cricket to hit someone in the head with or something. besides – I think wives talking about husbands with boyfriends is a much better spin on that very same topic. not so much to be against the gay angle because I’m not. I’m against the side piece angle. know your place and stay in your lane.
Into the Light
November 22nd, 2011
2:54 pm
Speaking of crickets, my inner Martha says she’d like to have a Cricut. That thing is amazing!!!
Into the Light
November 22nd, 2011
2:55 pm
Oh, birth certificates. That’s a good one. I’d take my Granny’s bible. It’s filled with her handwriting and notations…
Leggs
November 22nd, 2011
2:59 pm
@disco ~ that spin would leave this blog on fire with men talking about the bitterness of a woman, which will then turn into something else. I know 2 women whose husbands left them for a man
Into the Light
November 22nd, 2011
3:01 pm
SlimNu
November 22nd, 2011
3:03 pm
Oooohhh weeeee
ABM – Why do you even get involved with married guys?
disco
November 22nd, 2011
3:06 pm
they talk about the bitterness of women all the time anyway. I figure cheating stories are a dime a dozen but dag when your SO leaves you for same sex that’s a story I’m willing to listen to (imagine me in the real live telling going “oooh. for real? and then what?).
Alternative Black Man
November 22nd, 2011
3:11 pm
Married guys are so hurt by the nagging wife that I feel sorry for them. Also, most strong silent types are “out”.
These guys are so tired of their wives who have gained weight and are always riding them. They are good guys who are in bad relationships. The problem is how black society frowns on same sex. If we would only be more open minded…
Leggs
November 22nd, 2011
3:12 pm
It’s a story that is indeed fascinating, if one stays on the story at hand. When they don’t, the bashing occurs.