Dating: Mixed signals
Most of us have been subjected to the mixed signals of dating. You get a green light, then you get a red one. Things get red hot, then suddenly they turn cold. What gives?!
A friend of mine is dating a guy who only kicks up his efforts when she acts as if she is not interested in him. She will ignore his calls and text messages for a few days and put him on the back burner. That is when he kicks it into high gear and pursues her more. Their most romantic dates usually occur after she decides he is out of her life.
Perhaps it is about having a challenge; maybe he is dating multiple people and wants to keep her in the mix. Do you think that mixed signals is really just a sign that someone is being played?
What do you do when the person you are seeing starts to get a little flaky and inconsistent? If you really like them, do you try to be a little patient or can mixed signals be the deal breaker?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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273 comments Add your comment
Sassy Me...Black Koffy no Sugar no Cream ;-)
November 22nd, 2011
10:48 am
Anyone shopping Black Friday?
Yessir…and not b/c I have to. Since some of the stores will be opening early, my friends and I are going to hit the club after T-day dinner/festivities and either go eat breakfast n then go or just hit the mall straigt from the partay. I’ll be in Chucktown so the weather will be nice n mild. Can’t wait
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
10:50 am
Yep…to all of that, Cel. (I understood it…lol)
And IF it’s a simple matter of a miscommunication (because they do happen), well, you should be able to clear that up, right?
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
November 22nd, 2011
10:50 am
Fion….you beat me to it
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
10:50 am
Robert – (women 40-50) reflects my opinion dating women in that age range who are quicker to react to “mixed signals”
Would I be wrong to interpret this to say older women have learn when and when not to stick around….for bs
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
10:52 am
SexyC – well, you should be able to clear that up, right?
In a spoken word…lol
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
10:53 am
I’m not shopping BF, I’ll be here all by my lonesome. My kid though wants me to take her shopping Wednesday for new boots that she’s vowed to pay me back. She worked a full week since school is out and she usually pulls 200-300 bucks on a full week. So ummm, why not. I know she’s trying to get as cute as possible for the knucklehead that’s coming over.
Robert
November 22nd, 2011
10:55 am
@SexyCool – “would you give an example of an acceptable mixed signal? Or a reason a mixed signal should be deemed acceptable?”
We are in the holiday season and during this time of year people are prown to send “mixed signals” because of their busy lifestyles. For example if you are in a new relationship and for the first time you both are planning time to be together problems might arise if one of you are recently divorced but have kids and have multiple families to consider. Your partner might get “mixed signals” wondering if the relationship is worth all the hassle it takes to deal with the ex and extended families. Another good example is when you meet your partners friends, both male and female. Your partner may feel “mixed signals” if your old friend(s) decides to embrace you with a warm kiss and hug. Some people may see this as a harmless jesture while others may have “mixed signals”. The holidays are full of opportunities to send “mixed signals” which hopefully are not deal breakers.
Sassy Me...Black Koffy no Sugar no Cream ;-)
November 22nd, 2011
11:00 am
wha?
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
11:01 am
Scenario 1 – if you are recently divorced and still working out those kinds of issues, should you really be dating.
Scenario 2 – if someone greets you in an inappropriate manner and you don’t immediately address the issue or take steps to “right the air,” well, um…..really, there is nothing to say really except “Next!”
Into the Light
November 22nd, 2011
11:01 am
huh?
Purple Reign
November 22nd, 2011
11:01 am
I can’t think of anything that I can’t buy off of the internet. LOL I used to not trust internet shopping but now Amazon is my buddy!
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
11:02 am
Sassy – I had to read it two or three times. (lol)
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
11:02 am
Hello Purple
Purple Reign
November 22nd, 2011
11:03 am
Robert, those things should be handled upfront.
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
11:04 am
Scenario 1 sounds like childcare issues or where the child/children is/are going to be for the holiday. Or a situation where the ex may be there and it’s going to be to uncomfortable to bring a date.
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
11:05 am
Too uncomfortable…that is…
Sassy Me...Black Koffy no Sugar no Cream ;-)
November 22nd, 2011
11:13 am
I had to read it two or three times.
Yeah that almost read like a Rubix cube…
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
11:27 am
If even the example is too complicated, it would certainly make sense to question involvement in the situation at all.
I think it is a smart dating decision, if at the outset, you determine whether or not a person’s situation is too complicated for you. Matter of fact, that’s just a smart life decision period.
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
11:39 am
Yaaaah, my new coworker brought me a pair of cultured pearl earrings…FROM CHINA. Yaaah, she’s gonna fit in reaaaal well here…lol
SlimNu
November 22nd, 2011
11:45 am
always got a kick out of deniro’s line about not having anything in his life he couldn’t walk away from in 30 seconds flat
disco – Reminds me of something I once read: The higher you build the walls around your heart, the harder you fall when someone tears them down.
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
11:49 am
Shortly before I invited Shthead to leave, he made a statement that he could have everything he owned out of the apartment in less than three hours.
On the morning that I issued his invitation to get the phck out, I said to him, “Last month, you told me that you could have everything of yours out of this apartment in three hours. I’ma give you eight. I want you gone by the time I get home from work this evening.”
Sniffer!
November 22nd, 2011
11:52 am
Mixed signals?
Met her,she seems nice but u can’t be really sure about her….so u not going at the same speed like when u approached and pursued her. So u kinda take it slow…not call as frequently ad u did…it happens…at the same time the chic may be sold on u…and she gets ansty coz he seems tentative.
Scenario Two…..after u get some(after the renowned three month rule)
U realize it’s not All that….as on the bill of sale…
Give a man time to recalibrate to see Exactly what he got…
Mixed signals can also be a juggling tool…he’s somewhere else….
@disco…if he’s single it don’t matter where u break bread…but ur bed is preferable.
@Celisea,girl loosen up….u too tight fisted(legged)
Happy Thanks Giving!
disco
November 22nd, 2011
11:59 am
I like that slim nu. it made me think of deliver us from eva – not sure why – when dude said they gave eva a cross necklace and “the next day, jesus was gone”.
sniffer – a jumpoff type situation will never go down in my house. that’s bringing the wrong type energy into my home. if I get into a jumpoff situation it will have to go down elsewhere.
Purple Reign
November 22nd, 2011
12:01 pm
Hello Celisea!
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
12:32 pm
Mmeello – @Celisea,girl loosen up….u too tight fisted(legged)
Which is it? What should I be…wh@ore or nun?
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
12:35 pm
Just had to give props to TheDude….the first Thanksgiving that we were together, I prepared the ENTIRE Thanksgiving dinner – that HE requested without any help at all. The night before, I slaved in the kitchen, over the sink and the hot stove, and I complained my ass off.
Last year, he was right there with me, doing prep work.
Today, he is at the house, peeling the potatoes for the candied yams, sweet potato pies and the potato salad.
I so love that Dude!!!
disco
November 22nd, 2011
12:38 pm
SCool – sounds like he learned a lesson and this year he’ll be thankful that he didn’t have to listen to you complain the whole while you fixed dinner.
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
12:44 pm
He learned very well. And I didn’t think I complained *that* much that first year. However, his memory of my complaints is obviously great motivation. (lol)
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
12:56 pm
Mmeello – I just reread you 11:52…you spend an awful lot of time in your head thinking…lol
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
12:56 pm
What happened to the flow? Things were moving along nicely.
Sassy Me...Black Koffy no Sugar no Cream ;-)
November 22nd, 2011
1:07 pm
Who knows Celisea..I’ve gotta go back in the lab for a min and then I’m ouuuuuut..
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
1:08 pm
Sassy, girl I almost hopped in your trunk when you mentioned your holiday line-up. Shoot I ain’t mad, go on and get out and get your holiday started
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
1:11 pm
Sassy – I pictured you saying that like Taye Diggs in The Best Man when he said that he was going to blow Nina Long’s back ouuuuuuut!
(lol)
LeeH1
November 22nd, 2011
1:16 pm
This is a holdover from earlier days. To see this as a form of humor, watch old movies with Doris Day. She was an expert in being pursued, and then giving mixed, and sometimes hostile signals, to men. Laughter usually resulted.
Sassy Me...Black Koffy no Sugar no Cream ;-)
November 22nd, 2011
1:18 pm
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
1:20 pm
I see how this is going to be…just me and a couple of others dragging the blog along during the holiday week…lol Like making stuff up to talk about. That’s alright come December I’m out half the month.
Sassy Me...Black Koffy no Sugar no Cream ;-)
November 22nd, 2011
1:21 pm
go on and get out and get your holiday started
Okay?!
Sassy Me...Black Koffy no Sugar no Cream ;-)
November 22nd, 2011
1:22 pm
That’s alright come December I’m out half the month.
Now see…you ain’t have to throw it in our faces like that…but I ain’t mad atcha..
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
1:22 pm
I want to….but…gotta work….gotta work….
I know, Cel, I’ve been sitting on my hands to keep from talking to myself.
Fion
November 22nd, 2011
1:22 pm
Another slow news day. Let me ask this.
Ladies, when you’re out with your girls and you run into a crew of guys.
3-of you 3-of them. How do you figure out who to make a play for?
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
1:23 pm
Actually Sassy I thought I had “plans” but ummm not so much now so even then I guess it’s shop til you drop or passout…lol I’m sure though I can find plenty to do.
Sassy Me...Black Koffy no Sugar no Cream ;-)
November 22nd, 2011
1:24 pm
Alright…gotta go in the lab n do some work. If I don’t have a chance to come back before I go, HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING BLOG FAMILIA!!!!!!!
peace
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
1:24 pm
SexyC – I know, Cel, I’ve been sitting on my hands to keep from talking to myself.
Funny how hard it is…lol
Leggs
November 22nd, 2011
1:27 pm
What’s going on. Still mixed signals…I’m a little like disco. Perhaps too blunt for my own good, but my directness has helped reduce foolishness from many a man!
SexyCool
November 22nd, 2011
1:31 pm
I received this notice on FB – “cuzz i goin to get married”
I’m cringing…(lol)
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
1:34 pm
I keep “almost” typing something and then erasing and refreshing…lol
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
1:37 pm
I haven’t done anything to my hair since going to the salon last week. Today it’s flat. I’m a “volume” girl. It’s time for another appoint in a couple of days.
I’m wearing a new skirt that I bought over a month ago. Today I decided to wear it. I was saving for a special occasion but…I’m special so I wore it. It feels nice on
Celisea
November 22nd, 2011
1:39 pm
Annnnnd, I got it for 24.99…CLEARANCE. It started out for $129.00
Leggs
November 22nd, 2011
1:41 pm
That’s a damn good steal, Celisea.
Into the Light
November 22nd, 2011
1:44 pm
Heeeellooooo?????