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Dating: The lies we tell

Have you ever been excited over a potential romance, started to feel hopeful, and later discovered they were less then truthful about who they are? The lies we tell only come back to haunt us, so why do we lie so much!?

What should you do if you catch the person you are dating in a lie? Not a huge, disturbing lie – but something small, insignificant? Is that a sign of a bigger problem with truth telling?

I know a lot of guys think lying is a part of relationships. They believe in order to keep the peace, it’s better to leave things out, conceal the truth. It’s a simpler way of dealing with the complicated part of dating and relationships.

How much truth can we handle in dating? Is lying a necessary evil that we all have to contend with just so we can hook up?

Happy Monday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

231 comments Add your comment

mark

November 21st, 2011
1:35 pm

@ REIO>> KISS MY BUTT!

Celisea

November 21st, 2011
1:37 pm

Leggs – Yeah that was some outfit. She’s growing on me. I thoughr Mary J was a little rough around the edges. I like the song IF I DIE YOUNG. She was features on tv last week. She wrote in dedication to her mom who committed suicide. She found her hanging.

Celisea

November 21st, 2011
1:39 pm

The girl that wrote the song….she’s only 15

i'm swiss™

November 21st, 2011
1:39 pm

ITL — It was great, thanks! Had a few friends over for a little cookout — lots of burgers, brats, booze & football. Doesn’t get much better than that… ;-)

Celisea

November 21st, 2011
1:41 pm

Why did mark’s comment remind me of Flo from Mel’s Diner? KISS MY GRITS

Sniffer!

November 21st, 2011
1:41 pm

Cel/Leggs?

whatchu two talking bout?

Into the Light

November 21st, 2011
1:43 pm

Sniffer!

November 21st, 2011
1:45 pm

Beer food and football

@swiss?

u didn’t tell ITL the whole,Nothing but the truth there…

one(1) item missing

Tell her…she asked U!!

Celisea

November 21st, 2011
1:46 pm

Mmeelloo – Amer Music Awards

Leggs

November 21st, 2011
1:49 pm

@Celisea ~ didn’t know the story behind the song, but figured it had to be something deep. WOW.

I see you went to the sitcom archives. Mel’s Diner was funny, well, Flo was funny!

Celisea

November 21st, 2011
1:52 pm

Leggs – She got a homemade video sort of telling her story. She found her in the woods hanging.

I use to love Mel’s Diner…lol

Into the Light

November 21st, 2011
1:56 pm

@Sniffer: Back in your doghouse, you! I don’t need all the nitty gritty details. That is between Mr. and Mrs. Swiss. :)

Celisea

November 21st, 2011
1:56 pm

She came off as having gone through it pretty solid. Said her mother wouldn’t want her grieving.

kimmie

November 21st, 2011
2:05 pm

SCool – Loved me some Munson! My dad loved him too. We used to have the game on tv and cut down the sound and have Munson on the radio. Like Swiss said, dam good Dawg!!

kimmie

November 21st, 2011
2:08 pm

Dreams & Leggs – To your earlier posts around noon – that’s actually a form of mental abuse. Which can be just as bad as physical. Naw, some like that can keep their “truth” to themselves.

i'm swiss™

November 21st, 2011
2:12 pm

Me.lo — Well, I just assumed the other stuff goes without saying. Plus, the other stuff is not just for special occasions, it’s a regular fixture. :-D

Internet Guy c(._.)o

November 21st, 2011
2:14 pm

3. No Sistas that have or would Date a WHITEMAN

Way to really buck the stereotype of a closed-minded American black man, there Einstein.

Bravo.

Let a mature, responsible adult date whoever she damn well pleases.

SexyCool

November 21st, 2011
2:16 pm

So…I am really about to be at the point of eloping and just having a great honeymoon instead.

Albert

November 21st, 2011
2:16 pm

Reio, going out and finding someone else is never simple, unless you’re extremely lucky! :) ))

As for me, the lie I hate the most is when a woman tells a guy she’s not dating anyone else seriously even though she is. As a disabled person, I can tell you that this can happen because the woman feels pity for the man and that it would be cruel to disappoint him that way.

Leggs

November 21st, 2011
2:28 pm

Nothing wrong with eloping…sure can save $$, perhaps have a better honeymoon and put more into your new home. It’s all good.

Into the Light

November 21st, 2011
2:34 pm

Nothing wrong with that, SCool. But don’t let your frustration lead you to make a decision you’ll regret forever.

SexyCool

November 21st, 2011
2:40 pm

The rub is that in being determined to “have the wedding that we want, can afford and have all of the bills paid before the ink is dry on the license”, it really becomes a matter of not being able to host a reception for all of the people that we would really like to be there and who would really like to come and show their support.

Leggs

November 21st, 2011
2:51 pm

At least you are being conscious of all the costs and what’s important. Even if you elope, doesn’t mean you can’t have a “wedding” when you guys renew your vows in 2-3 years. And, you don’t have to have a costly reception. Your friends can show support and glow in your day with you with whatever you do.

Into the Light

November 21st, 2011
2:54 pm

An alternate idea is to do a destination wedding, and host a fabulous reception when you return.

Reio

November 21st, 2011
2:59 pm

@ Albert, 2:16pm post – It is simple, so long as you are not convinced that you NEED someone new right now. If you’re patient, you can find another.

i'm swiss™

November 21st, 2011
3:01 pm

Some friends of mine who got married in college had a pretty good idea, I thought… They had a very small formal reception/dinner where they went all out, but kept the guest list to the absolute bare minimum (like immediate family & wedding party only), but then at some point after that, they had an informal “reception” for everybody, that was basically just a big BBQ. Different folks chipped in & brought food, booze, etc., and it was just a big party, so the cost was minimal, but they could invite everyone they wanted.

Reio

November 21st, 2011
3:05 pm

Do whatever you want. I just hope the both of you sweat over the life after the ceremony as much as you sweat over life before the ceremony. I suspect and hope that you will, cause that’s all that matters, life after the wedding.

SexyCool

November 21st, 2011
3:21 pm

Reio – that’s just the thing. This is only one day. And quite frankly, if it were just the two of us, the minister and the witnesses, I’d be fine. Initially, he was pro-JOP but somewhere along the way became convinced that a ’small’ ceremony wouldn’t be a bad idea.

Into the Light

November 21st, 2011
3:28 pm

It sure is slow in here today…..

disco

November 21st, 2011
3:31 pm

O/T – do men bring their kids’ fundraisers to the workplace OR sell stuff on the side at work? just wondering because I work in a mostly female environment and there is always something for sale up in here. girl scout cookies, school fundraiser stuff from cookie dough to wrapping paper. then there are the chicks who sell assorted wares like mary kay or thirty one products. It’s never ending. Not that I buy anything but apparently I still get the emails re the “item of the week”.

Leggs

November 21st, 2011
3:31 pm

A lot of people are on vacation.

kimmie

November 21st, 2011
3:32 pm

Swiss – That’s kind of what we did. Though looks like we’ll be having the BBQ NEXT summer! Oh well!

mark

November 21st, 2011
3:35 pm

@ INTERNET GUY you also can KISS MY ANUS!

Fion

November 21st, 2011
3:36 pm

@ disco

Not sure, but there are 2-dudes on 12 that run the swap meet the last Friday of the month.
Lower Level of the parking deck.

Into the Light

November 21st, 2011
3:39 pm

@disco: The guys here do, as well as the women. We get the wrapping paper, cookie dough, Boy Scout popcorn, Girl Scout cookies, the whole kit and kaboodle.

sn: Why did I eat that Reuben for lunch? I am sleepy!!!

Sassy Me...Black Koffy no Sugar no Cream ;-)

November 21st, 2011
3:40 pm

I work in a mostly female environment and there is always something for sale up in here.

We had one like that here…granted we don’t mind helping out with children’s fund raisers but this particular woman would hit us up for cash donations OFTEN and she was very aggresive about it. Soo one day someone printed out the gubment’s stipulations about what types of solitication is and isn’t allowed @ work and anonymously placed it on her desk…she hasn’t asked for diddly since then…

disco

November 21st, 2011
3:41 pm

actually a swap meet outside I might be able to get with. it certainly sounds interesting but I’m sick to death of being told the catalog is in the breakroom. all of the chicks who bring this stuff in are married so I was just curious if their husbands ever took catalogs to work.

Sassy Me...Black Koffy no Sugar no Cream ;-)

November 21st, 2011
3:43 pm

Anybody here purchase Carol’s Daughter products?…I was just on the website and have noticed the prices have gone up a bit…

disco

November 21st, 2011
3:49 pm

sassy – I used to work at a place that was good for someone walking around all the time talking about we are collecting for so and so’s birthday/baby gift/bridal gift. worrisome I tell you. at least here the office picks up the birthday tabs.

I don’t use the hair products but am told they are pretty good. also told WEN is really good but I’m too frugal to even give that stuff a try. I’ll stick to good old reasonably priced coconut oil and shea butter.

Fion

November 21st, 2011
3:51 pm

Hey it’s a slow news day and after Mark’s 3:35 post I gotta tell ya’ll this.

Funny story from the weekend.

I’m at party dancing. I feel a hand rub my equipment. I’m not alarmed, just figured she bump into me.
About 10-15 second later same chick cupped my equipment. I turn she’s looking at me.
She was every bit 6’1 or 2 in heels, hittin the Toledo’s at ‘bout 230lbs. Might have been more than 230, but my eye scale Doesn’t register above 200 anyhow.
Yeah man, my curiosity and sense of humor got the best of me and I couldn’t pass this up hear what her story was gonna be.
I go over start talking, asked why she cupped me, “I wanted to see how big it was”, in my mind all I could say was “well damn”.
Over the next 45minutes she tells me what she wants to do to me.
I never would have guess it in a 100 yrs. what she wanted to do. She wanted to toss my salad.
Yep, now at that a blip. It must be the holiday season. I guess Turkey and Dressing wasn’t going be enough for her.

Into the Light

November 21st, 2011
3:52 pm

Leggs

November 21st, 2011
3:53 pm

@disco ~ some fathers do. Parents sell their children’s items at work for them so the child won’t be left out. Especially in elementary school there are prizes for the most sold items. Parents want their children to at least get something, even if it’s the minimal. Fundraisers are like those pesky project assignments, no child can do them by themselves. No doubt, some parents do more than what the child does, but that’s the way it goes.

All you have to do is ask to be removed from the “item of the week” emails.

SexyCool

November 21st, 2011
3:55 pm

I have a standard answer for those type solicitations.

“I am unable to participate at this time.”

Sassy Me...Black Koffy no Sugar no Cream ;-)

November 21st, 2011
3:57 pm

I go over start talking, asked why she cupped me, “I wanted to see how big it was”, in my mind all I could say was “well damn”.

:shock: well damn is right…’specially the tossin of the en salada part…really?!

Where they do that at :???:

Well…were her hands full?…don’t judge me you put it out there and it’s a slow day.

i'm swiss™

November 21st, 2011
3:57 pm

Um… so, uh, Fion… are you sure that wasn’t a dude? :shock: :lol:

Leggs

November 21st, 2011
3:57 pm

@Fion ~ WOW!!!! Where were you that a classless woman would do something like that? Wait, doesn’t matter where, classless women can be at the highest caliber establishment. WOW, that woman had ballz, rather had your ballz!

disco

November 21st, 2011
4:01 pm

leggs – sounds easy enough but apparently it’s easier to do a “send all” email than it is to type in each individual’s name. I did get off the birthday card circulation list though. when my son was younger I never allowed him to sell stuff for school/football or whatever. when necessary I paid the “buyout” money.

fion – I know chicks that want to know that type information up front but she was dead wrong for just feeling you up like that. she could’ve just asked…maybe you would have told her and considering today’s original topic maybe you would have even told her the truth.

Celisea

November 21st, 2011
4:01 pm

I don’t patronize if I’m not feeling said person…..dirty, lowdown backstabbing…no matter their position. I don’t apologize. For me it’s no thank you. If it ain’t in the handbook, policy and procedures then folks know not to press the issue.

Fion

November 21st, 2011
4:01 pm

@ Swiss
No adams apple Swiss was just a big chick.

Into the Light

November 21st, 2011
4:01 pm

Well…were her hands full?…don’t judge me you put it out there and it’s a slow day.

Yeah, Fion….inquiring minds wanna know….