Dating: Ready to meet family?
A lot of new couples find out just how serious things are this time of year. When it is time to decide where you two will spend the holidays – together or apart, things get pretty clear.
Some people place a lot of meaning in meeting family members. If you are not invited to Thanksgiving dinner, should you be worried?
It depends, really! I believe that when the time is right, you will meet the family of the person you are seeing. It should not happen before you both feel ready to meet family.
I think that the important thing to remember is when and if you meet someone’s family, you have to be your authentic self. Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t to impress them. Family members can spot a fake person from a mile away. Well, my family members can!
What do you think is important to know when you are ready to meet the family?
Have you ever dated someone who did not introduce you to their family? I know someone who dated a young woman for years and never met her family. She was basically delaying the inevitable “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” scene with her African American boyfriend and her Korean parents.
Would you allow the person you are dating to keep you from their family?
How do you know when and if you are ready to meet the family?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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167 comments Add your comment
SlimNu
November 16th, 2011
8:07 am
Good morning, I for a few…As far as being worried if you aren’t invited to dinner really depends on where you two are in your courtship. If it’s something fairly new, I wouldn’t place too much emphasis on no invite. If you feel you two have been very serious and have moved into a higher level, then yeah I would question it. But it all goes back to communication. When I met the beau’s mother, it wasnt planned. She had a lay over here in ATL on her way to a connecting flight but it got cancelled. So I got a call from him saying to make sure everything was in order at the house since she was coming there. (She doesn’t live here).
Then the beau recently met my folks on our trip to the cabins about a month ago. At first, he seemed a bit nervous/hesitant about it. I probably would too being that most SO’s don’t meet a whole group of their gf/bf’s family at once. (It was close to 70 folks that went on the trip). But as I told him before going, my folks are laid back. I told him it wasn’t going to be like on the Cosby Show, where he had to wear a sweater vest, a bow tie and sit down to a 5 course dinner, explaining his ‘intentions’ with me. After we got there and saw how everyone was, it was smooth sailing. So I suppose it’s on me now to meet the rest of his peeps.
CoolShadow
November 16th, 2011
8:39 am
Would you allow the person you are dating to keep you from their family? No.
How do you know when and if you are ready to meet the family?
Technically, if you’re always being yourself you can meet them at any point. From a practical standpoint, you tend to prefer meeting them once the relationship has established some consistency and progression. Because they have to impress you as much as you have to impress them, meeting them can give you more insight into your person of interest. Because if his/her family is cool, it’s one less thing to worry about; however, if they appear dysfunctional, is that a potential red flag?
When it happens, you just hope it doesn’t become a negative experience, i.e., some aunt or cousin barraging you with more questions than his/her parents, the lack of ingenuity in asking of that stupid “What are your intentions?” question, family members attempting to turn an introduction into an inquisition, etc.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
9:00 am
Morning,
Not understanding….what’s up with a rule and timeline for meeting the folks? All these rules and stuff just seems silly to me. IMO, meeting or not shouldn’t indicate anything. It shouldn’t indicate I’m the one if I do meet his folks and it shouldn’t indicate I’m not the one if I don’t or haven’t met his folks.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
9:02 am
I can’t think of one single person I’ve dated (for real) where I didn’t meet their parents or wasn’t encouraged to come along and meet the parents. If I didn’t and was invited, I wasn’t ready.
hryder
November 16th, 2011
9:09 am
We knew we were ready to meet each others parents when we left Arizona, due to nepotism regulations, for graduate school. My parents agreed to house us until school begin and my new bride’s state was between Arizona and my home state and her folks wanted to meet their new son-in-law. I was all ready married to the person I needed and continue to need to impress.
Kym
November 16th, 2011
9:12 am
Good Morning All,
Would you allow the person you are dating to keep you from their family? Huh..how am I gonna force the issue? I mean if they say they don’t want me to meet their family..then I know this is not the person for me. So I will keep on keeping on. Sorry but either you are ashamed of them or ashamed of me..so I am not really interested in trying to figure out the reasons.
As for when is the right the time for the family meeting..well I guess we will know when we know..no timeline..but I would prefer not to be considered just another chick he brings to the bbq..so I would like the relationship to have some depth.
disco
November 16th, 2011
9:23 am
good morning all.
even in my younger years I was never very anxious about the meet the parents/family/friends. I’m not pressed to meet the parents/family – I’ll meet them when I meet them – but I’ve also never been pressed for anyone to meet mine – at least not so much in my “new life”. it’s also kind of moot living so far away from my family. guys from home know me, my family, our background so it’s all good. guys I’ve met since moving away from home have only heard the stories. my family is very rough around the edges and you have to get in where you fit in with us. the weak, meek, easily intimidated need not apply as I’m most definitely not going to run interference. it does seem though that men do better being brought into our fold than women. I don’t know if it’s because women are more sensitive or if it’s because the women in my family are a lot harsher than the men. meeting the family is most definitely a test and can even be a dealbreaker. I’ve stated on here before that my folks do some things. if a guy I’m dating is passing too much judgment on my family it might be time to cut him loose.
Packed Colon
November 16th, 2011
9:31 am
Last year, we went to her parents in Rochester. They were strange, but it was OK cuz we ended up doing it in her parents bedroom.
disco
November 16th, 2011
9:42 am
O/T – holiday office potluck season is upon us. I have NEVER ever participated in office potlucks. I don’t bring anything, I don’t eat anything. I’m amazed that my name is still on the sign up list.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
9:48 am
I do holiday potluck. I only eat my stuff and the meat that’s provided and anything brought in unopened (i.e. chips, soda, etc). Anything cooked…no way
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
9:49 am
And then too it depends on the folks setting up because if it’s brought in unopened and you’re one that don’t wash when using the restroom, you open it I’m not eating it.
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
9:50 am
Good morning.
When I finally met my ex’s family, I felt like I was welcomed. His mother’s smile greeted me and she immediately complimented me how I carried myself (was a sign, but I didn’t know it). As the evening progressed she stood up at the table and said “Leggs, you are the sugar to his salt.” I thought that original and said thank you. Later in the wee hours of the night, he wanted to do the do, but I couldn’t. I was a guest in his mother’s home. He insisted, I resisted. The next morning, his mother’s demeanor changed dramatically. She still had that smile, but it was apparent she no longer cared for me. I think overnight she realized I was indeed going to be a part of her son’s life for the long haul. I found out two things that weekend:
(1) his family is bat isht crazy; and
(2) smiling faces carry daggers behind their backs.
Fatties 4 Potluck
November 16th, 2011
10:02 am
Yeah…..The only people doing put luck at my job are the morbidly obese. I don’t need to eat that much, nor do I want to, so I opt out. Because of that, I am treated like a leper. Some of want to avoid diabetes.
KaiserSoze
November 16th, 2011
10:12 am
Sort of O/T, but seeking a little advice. Recently separated, divorce almost final after 15 years. The ex and kids in another state have invited me to spend a couple of days over Thanksgiving with all my (soon to be) former in-laws. This makes me uncomfortable for a number of reasons, the most pressing that I am still having some serious rejection issues and difficulty adjusting to life without being part of a family. My kids really want me there, the in-laws want me there (the D was completely and totally her fault – they still accept and adore me), and the ex claims to want me there. Am I setting myself up for an emotional failure by attending?
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
10:13 am
Good morning!
Leggs, that is quite a story!
Ahh, the meeting of the parents/family! I am a very family-oriented person and most of the men I’ve dealt with have been the same, from the 1st boyfriend to my now husband. I’ve never had a family to not like me. In fact, there were times the family seemed to care for me more than the dude did! It kinda got to be a problem I think in a few cases, because they liked me so much I think they started pressuring dude to marry me & scared dude off. One mother, after our 1st meeting, pulled her son aside and told him I was a keeper and don’t mess over me!
It’s never been a big buildup to the meeting and usually it did not happen 1st during the holidays. Usually it would just be a casual meeting at his house or at a bbq. By the time the holidays rolled around, I was already welcome.
There was one guy, though, who never brought me to Sunday dinner, which was big at his house, like Soul Food. I met his mom when she was in the hospital and had met his family thru a cousin of mine. They all liked me and would ask about me often.I realized I was not special to him because he had taken other women to dinner before. Never me. I also realized I was being played big time.
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
10:16 am
Most of the time our office orders food out. We stopped having so many potlucks. We are tired of cooking. It works out great.
Our Thanksgiving luncheon is today and we are all going to Pappadeaux lunch buffet. We’ve done it in the past and it was quite good and a nice outing.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
10:22 am
KaiserSoze – Am I setting myself up for an emotional failure by attending?
Are you expecting anything out of it or are you going simply to spend time with the family as it sounds?
Most of the time our office orders food out
We have so much lunches catered in or outings or client luncheons, these folks are excited to have something close to “homely” and being about to chat it up about dishes and stuff.
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
10:23 am
@KaiserSoze ~ I’m going to tell you what I did. When Thanksgiving rolled around, we were divorced 5 months. I did not want to spend Thanksgiving with him, but I knew it would mean the world to our daughter. I invited him. I knew he felt a little uncomfortable to be back in a home he helped me to qualify for. For the sake of our children, sometimes we have to put our emotions, our issues on the top shelf deep under that cozy quilt in the back of the closet. Have a talk with your ex, state you don’t want to walk into any drama and for the sake of the kids, if any pop off you will have to leave. Put your children first and go. Be cordial to the in-laws. Sit next to your children at dinner to help ground your emotions if you should become sullen. Remember why and for who you’re doing this for.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
10:23 am
many not much
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
10:27 am
@KSoze ~ also, it may have been more bearable for me because it was only the 3 of us. I didn’t have any in-laws to deal with at that time.
disco
November 16th, 2011
10:28 am
kimmie – funny you should mention that old boy’s mother pulled you to the side. I asked him if he remembered his mother telling him to leave me alone before he ruined my life. those were her exact words and I was standing there when she said it. at the time I didn’t pay as much attention to it as I should have but reflecting on it now I’m like wow – was that woman speaking loud and clear.
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
10:34 am
disco – One mother was so upset with her tired, two-timing son that she let it slip to me that he was messing around. I already figured he was, but she just confirmed it. Poor thing, she tried to cover it up by saying she thought he & the other women were going to be just friends because his daughter didn’t like her & liked me better and she herself couldn’t stand her and told her so. I smiled, but honey, the damage was done.
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
10:36 am
disco – Mama’s know. Even though they love their sons, they know when they are no good. They also know a good woman when they meet one and know their son is not going to do right by the woman. Most of the time, they are so right!!!
disco
November 16th, 2011
10:42 am
re-reading my post looks like I left off that I recently spoke with the guy. still, guess you figured out that’s what I meant. my son brought a girl home last year. I wasn’t feeling her at all. I held my peace during their visit but after he got home and checked in I voiced that I didn’t care for her much.
Robert
November 16th, 2011
10:47 am
“How do you know when and if you are ready to meet the family?”
I thinks it’s a matter of respect. Respect for your immediate family and respect for your man or woman. For example I think it is inappropriate to bring someone to meet your Mother and/or Father if you are still married and not divorced. Why subject your man or woman to that situation. It can be embarrassing to you, your man or woman and your Mother and/or Father. What kind of example are you setting for your grown children and grandchildren if you have any. Personally, I don’t care about what other family members think. To each their own.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 16th, 2011
10:48 am
I haven’t had a time frame to introduce mine or meet a lady friend family. The times I have met a friend family I felt I was welcomed and percieved a good fit. This works for me, be myself don’t let anxiety affect how I am sized up. It’s that easy for me.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 16th, 2011
10:52 am
Keep in mind you will be a topic of discussion later. That’s allright too cause if you have been real the conversation about you will be complimentary and also on the real.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
10:54 am
Well well well, my kid is asking to have company over for Thanksgiving dinner….just great
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
10:56 am
@disco ~ I will probably be like that, tell my child after her guest leaves and explain why I may not like him.
@BF ~ You mentioned my bday yesterday and said it was going to be a good year. Should have taken that as a sign for my cash 4 because the year of my bday dropped last night!!!!! UUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!
Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)
November 16th, 2011
10:57 am
I haven’t read the posts yet, but one thing I have seen that is a big red flag…and yet I’ve seen the scenario often on the blog. When a male doesn’t introduce you to his family after being ionvolved for awhile, or never invites you back to his place and only meets you out or at your place…MARRIED!!!! You are a side dish.
I have no hesitancy about meeting their families or inviting ladies to meet my family. When inviting them to meet my family I do try to arrange quiet one on ones with all of my children at some point first before the big party thing. It is safer for the lady.
Robert
November 16th, 2011
11:01 am
“How do you know when and if you are ready to meet the family?”
I remember my daughter bringing home her boyfriend from college during the holiday’s. She forgot to tell him about her “old school” Daddy and did not warn him about how to dress appropiately. I opened the front door to greet her and was shocked she would bring someone to my house looking like a clown (tattoos, earrings, dreadlocks, pants on the ground showing his underwear). I looked at her and then I looked at him straight in his eyes (lol). Before I could say anything my daughter caught my attention begged me not to ruin the holiday dinner and kick this clown out of my house. I was mad at her because she knew how I felt about her dating young men who want to look like a “thug”. She was raised in a house were men acted and looked like men, not clowns.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 16th, 2011
11:04 am
KaiserSoze:
I still see and get along well with my former inlaws after 19 years of divorce. Before my mother inlaw passed away she pulled me to the side (this was before my ex wedding while her fiance was somewhere in the house) she said no matter who my ex marries I will always be her son in law. Teared me up for a second, I say go you were invited not going could be tough on you in the long run.
Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)
November 16th, 2011
11:05 am
@ Robert…great post. Children seldom realize that ‘their past’ will become ‘their present’ at some point in the ‘future’. Those looks and actions they choose now will affect their professional opportunities and their relationa opportunities from now on. That is why what they post on their Facebook pages can come back to haunt them.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
11:05 am
Well from what I understand this cat has dreads….I ain’t gonna say nothing on that but IF I decide, his pants better not be sagging nor looking thuggish or he’ll be turned around at the door. I haven’t decided yet though.
Only other good thing is that my kid will be at my sister’s so if any “courting” will be happening it will be there….lol In a house full of people. We’ll see though.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
11:06 am
I shouldn’t say “cat”…he’s in the 11th grade with my kid.
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
11:08 am
Robert – You are like me & how my parents were. I think that helped shape who I was attracted to. I had to have someone presentable to bring around the family. They would never let me leave the house with a dude that looked like a thug. Bring one around any of my extended family and they would talk about me like a dog too.
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
11:10 am
Good morning!
@Leggs..good advice on 10:23
@Kaiser,for ur kids sake,go. Put ur marriage emotions in check.
You be the man as long as ur life is not in danger.
On topic:
This topic is kinda like the rejection topic yesterday. Be careful also of these family functions because you are being ‘graded’. If u don’t fit there is no bliss after the holidays.
Good luck in the relationship!
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
11:11 am
Celisea – I have tried to be open-minded, but I just can’t get into the dreads or braids on a man. The Bridal Bliss couple on Essence.com – the groom has cornrows. They are neat, and he seems nice & they are all in love and all, but would not be my taste.
Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)
November 16th, 2011
11:14 am
@ Leggs, re: 10:33 I liked your post. There are times and things you sacrifice yourself for the sake of your children’s welfare. I forced myself to always be involved and cordial with my ex wife and in-laws after my divorce and it worked out so well. I am invited to all weddings and brought into the family pictures, etc. Next week I am cooking a giant Thanksgiving dinner. Since I am between relationships, my ex-wife will come over, as well as my kids and their families.
Too many people (IMHO) actually cost themselves and hurt their children by not putting aside their pride and anger (just say “I choose to let what you did go, you don’t owe me anymore”). Then YOU choose to involve yourself. You don’t have to sleep with them, you can send them home at the end of the day, and you make your children happy and more comfortable.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
11:14 am
Kimmie – You know I like a nice fresh cut. I ain’t feeling the dreads but if he can navigate through uncles, cousins, nephews unscathed and not scalped, he’ll be doing well. I’m with you SOOOOOOOOO not feeling dreads. Now if it comes to it, if he becomes a “constant” visitor, I will definitely as um what’s up with needing a haircut. Yep I sure will. I hope I can hold it when I first see him.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 16th, 2011
11:14 am
Dang Leggs how in the world did you not think about cash 4 hanging out there. Waiting for you put down on it, that would have been nice bday and holiday money.
disco
November 16th, 2011
11:16 am
sort of on topic – I guess. I hated when chicks used to try to cozy up to me to get at or with one of my older male cousins. I had lots of cousins and many of them were quite popular with the ladies. it was like when a girl realized we were related all of a sudden she was trying to be in the mix. I suppose it could have been worse if my brothers were older rather than younger. I’m told by girls with older brothers that this was a really big issue.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
11:17 am
Where are these people that pose questions and never come back? LOL Where is KaiserSoze?
Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)
November 16th, 2011
11:19 am
@ Kaiser Soze (great movie too, thanks) I had not read your post before my posts above, but I can honestly tell you that staying involved and letting it go were the single best thing I did during the divorce. You do it for your children and they will love you for it. I say go, it has worked well for me. You go with the attitude that it is just a social event that your children are attending, nothing more, nothing less. It has no meaning or function beyond just being a gentleman. In addition it makes you look strong…because you are.
abc
November 16th, 2011
11:21 am
My perspective on it these days is about when my kids bring a girl around to me us. I’m sizing them up as far as how good looking and intelligent are my grandkids going to be if THIS turns out to be the one. So far, no keepers — well, my oldest is engaged to be married next summer. We’ll see.
czBrat
November 16th, 2011
11:22 am
HiYas!
i’ve always felt the guys i’ve dated were much too quick to take me home to meet the fam in general, but holidays were never a prob. i am very close to my own fam and that is how i choose to spend my holidays. no ifs, ands or buts. after we get married, s/o and i will alternate holidays with each other’s fam and/or most likely host them at our home.
to add to the posts from other bloggers about warning signs thrown up by ex family members; i recall my ex’s family constantly saying “you’re the best thing that ever happened to him”. years later i had that lightbulb moment ‘hey! how come noone ever said he was the best thing that ever happened to me?’. duh.
kimmie, s/o has threatened to rebel against corporate america by growing dreads when he retires. i told him when he starts growing his hair out i will stop coloring mine. that put an end to the rebellion.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
11:28 am
Well one good this about this young dude, he does well in school.
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
11:28 am
@Robert ~ at 15 I really startaed emphasizing to my daughter the type of dude she cannot bring home to meet me. We would drive around and I would randomly point to a dude walking that just on his appearance, she couldn’t bring someone like that home to meet me. Sagging pants will not cut it in my home. Why they like doing is something I don’t even want explained to me. I’d be damn if a young man is sittin on my couch with his pants at his thighs….oh hell no!
@Randyt ~ thanks, Randyt! You sound a lot like me and my ex. Leave the stress and strive at the door and be parents. It’s no longer about us. I like to believe I’m rearing a well-rounded young lady and its due to the sacrifices I’m making all for the benefit of her.
@BF ~ I’m so hung up on 9431 I didn’t think of the year of my birthday all the while I’m playing my bday for Cash 3. It’s crap like that that makes people miss all that money…not connecting the dots.
So, now, I’m staying with 9431 because it’s in the system for so long and will concentrate on the last 4 digits of my social!!! One of these games are going to pay me something (lol)…
Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)
November 16th, 2011
11:28 am
“s/o has threatened to rebel against corporate america by growing dreads when he retires. i told him when he starts growing his hair out i will stop coloring mine. that put an end to the rebellion”
Thats funny, LOL. I may draw some fire for saying this, but I am one of those men who frikkin HATE hair curlers…especailly those big azzed ones. If an S/O threated to start wearing those around the house I’d back away from or agree to dayum near anything.
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
11:30 am
“It has no meaning or function beyond just being a gentleman. In addition it makes you look strong…because you are.”
That is the bottom line!
abc
November 16th, 2011
11:33 am
Kaiser, me personally, I wouldn’t go. The kids will be fine. I just plain wouldn’t want to go.
Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)
November 16th, 2011
11:35 am
Kaiser Soze never responded again so far. Shame, because I like his choice of a name. For any that do not understand the significance of his screen name, it comes from a great movie with a truly great twist at the ending called, “Usual Suspects” with Kevin Spacey in what I think was his best role ever.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 16th, 2011
11:35 am
disco:
I was the opposite my oldest sister college friends flocked to her, then right at me. When she came home from school she brought friends with her who wanted to visit the little A. When I visited her on campus in DC it was too much to handle alone so I had to bring friends with me on occasions.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
11:41 am
I think Kaizer should go if he can go without any expectations. To ask if he’s being set up to emotionally fail sounds like he’s expecting or hoping rather. If he can’t go and let it be just what it is…dinner with the inlaws, then he shouldnt.
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
11:41 am
@abc?
maybe u should be honest with Kaiser and tell him u don’t get along with most of your own family and don’t even get in touch that much.
He will then take ur advice in perspective.
(don’t we all have elephant memories in here?)
Dontcha think??
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
11:49 am
@KSozer ~ if you’ve been reading abc, you would understand why he wouldn’t go…he’s the minority, not the majority.
disco
November 16th, 2011
11:50 am
blackfoote – and a lot of folks want to act like mannish boys are the problem. they aren’t as quick to point fingers at the fast A boy-chasing girls. especially if their daughter is the one who is hot in the tail. (that’s not directed at anyone on here – just a general observation).
abc
November 16th, 2011
11:50 am
I get along fine with my family. I’m not that crazy about the ex’s family, never was. I don’t see much point in keeping up an ex’s family, anyway. Kids will deal with stuff like that just fine.
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
11:51 am
@Randyt ~ you’ve spoiled it early. I was waiting for him to come on to explain his moniker. I remember it from the movie as well. I agree, one of Kevin Spacey’s finer roles and one movie I figured out before it was revealed. I will always take pride in that (LOL). Great movie.
@Sniffer ~ you know most memories on this blog are quite commendable (unfortunately)!
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
11:54 am
” Kids will deal with stuff like that just fine.” Ummmm, they will better “deal” with stuff with the HELP of their parents showing they can put their dislike for each other aside and realize this is for the benefit of their child(ren)….
SMH
November 16th, 2011
11:58 am
Sometimes I have to SMH at the people on this blog. If it’s not the cliquish behavior it’s passing judgement. As with anything in life it’s to each his own to do as he or she pleases or deems fit.
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
12:04 pm
And I too have to SMH at people coming on commenting on the cliquish behavior. Most of us have been blogging with each other for over 5 years. Not necessarily a clique, we just know each other’s style and sometimes their line of thinking. Nothing with saying “Kudos on that post,” I agree 100%,” etc. That happens with you are around the same people, day in day out, year in year out.
Also the blog topics most often ask for opinions and opinions lead to a judgment call of that particular poster.
abc
November 16th, 2011
12:07 pm
How does showing up at an ex’s parent’s house for Thanksgiving help the kids? I’d think it’d contribute confusion more than anything else. The reality of it is, you’re no longer a family. Divorce does that.
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
12:11 pm
SMH?
in other words U don’t have a judgement/ opinion on anything?
u would be admitting to Not having a(functioning) brain!
I doubt u want to do that.
Calling folks ‘cliquish’ is passing a judgement.
Now we in the same boat.. Ha ha ha laughing back at ya buddy!
SMH
November 16th, 2011
12:11 pm
@ Leggs
How though are you able to pass any opinions when haven’t yet figured out how to stop fishing for dead fish in a rotten pond? You haven’t figured to fish from the fresh water pond? I would think you would get this one down before being a self proclaimed expert in other matters.
With regard to cliquish, how can that exist in a place open for all to interact? I would think too, being one that can pass opinions that you are able to exercise adulthood and bypass school girl mentality.
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
12:17 pm
@abc
I doubt I wld go to my baby mama’s house if I were invited coz I (or my wife) run the risk of eating poisoned food!
because of the acrimonious history.
However Ksozer mentions that they are talking good and there is no acrimony. So.
Being divorced does not untie the relationships.
Your kids are going to graduate,marry etc and there will be celebrations in the future where uall have to meet.
Better be civil than be throwing stones and taking too much time contorting muscles in the face.
Too much unnecessary angst is painful!
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
12:22 pm
@SMH~ let me state something that should be obvious to you. I haven’t dated because I chose to parent first. My child was 12 when I divorced. I didn’t want to date. I wanted to do my job as a parent and didn’t want to bring a man into the mix at the moment. When I felt the time was right was when I would actively pursue it. The little stories I put here are just that, little MIA. I’m smart enough to not waddle in what you consider a “dead pond!” Women like me know to keep it moving and not sink in the quicksand that may surround them. It’s all a learning process, and if you can’t do it with a smile and recognize what’s in front of you then you don’t need to be dating. My choice and no complaints on my part. I just made up my mind this year I want to date. It’s not difficult for me to get a date, not at all. It’s my judgment call that tells me I don’t have to go out on a date simply because I was asked out on a date.
Also, since I am alive I have opinions. Never once have I said I’m an EXPERT on anything. But what I am an expert on is how I rear my daughter.
abc
November 16th, 2011
12:28 pm
Attending the weddings of your children doesn’t compare to visiting your ex’s parent’s house for Thanksgiving. One can be more than cordial and polite without having to keep up with ex’s families. And, when the kids’ weddings happen, there isn’t going to be any groom’s parents dancing together stuff either — you know, bride and her father, groom and his mother, everyone switches places, then the in-laws dance. Not happening. Sorry, future brides of my kids.
Besides, my exes are lousy dancers, I’ll get a pass on that anyway.
disco
November 16th, 2011
12:29 pm
leggs – my mother always said “I’ll be the expert on me and you be the expert on you”. very fitting especially when folks try to tell you about you. I’m all for being read by folks who know me well enough to tell me about myself but anybody else needs to bag back.
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
12:37 pm
@abc
I understand abc?
I guess I wld be different as long as me and ex were in good books. Besides,u can always get some bonus,no strings tail from the ex….at the ex in-laws’ house! That wld be some ThanksGiven!
do u think paying child support made u and ur heart so hardened.
Haven’t had the experience but I can understand if u being made to pay thru the nose at the risk of going to jail.
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
12:39 pm
To answer your other question:
“With regard to cliquish, how can that exist in a place open for all to interact?” – Easy. Not all interact. Outsiders feel there’s a clique because they lurk more than post. Those like you, who don’t regularly interact and simply come on with snide comments on the side, feel there’s a clique. Those that converse and comment with each other for years are deemed to be in clique simply because they are regulars. It’s a no win situation, but I’m having fun!
abc
November 16th, 2011
12:42 pm
I seriously never had interest in any after-the-fact ‘bonus sex’. I never minded child support, either. Nor do I think my heart is hardened. I’m just realistic and pragmatic. Those chicks made their choices, and got what they wanted.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
12:45 pm
abc I can’t believe you’re answering Mmeello…lol Usually you don’t respond to too many people.
abc
November 16th, 2011
12:53 pm
I’m usually pretty busy, but it’s lunchtime!
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
12:58 pm
“Pappa’s” was great! I am too full.
Folks kill me coming on being jealous of a few friendships from a blog!
SlimNu
November 16th, 2011
1:05 pm
Is it just me, or is everyone PMS’ing? lol
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 16th, 2011
1:06 pm
If blogging with people who don’t mind sharing experiences a clique, is lurking a clique too?
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
1:06 pm
Yes indeed, kimmie! Not only that, this is blog about one’s dating adventures, if they care to share them. If you have good ones, all the better, but the name of this blog is MIA!
SlimNu
November 16th, 2011
1:07 pm
Excuse me if this question has been posed but if after you family met your SO, and they expressed dislike for them, would that make you re-think moving forward with them??
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
1:09 pm
Good one, BF. Like if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?
czBrat
November 16th, 2011
1:12 pm
slim, yes. experience has taught me that close friends and family who know you very well often see things that love goggles will not allow you to see.
i may not necessarily dump him in his tracks, but maybe slow down a bit, be more aware and ask more questions.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 16th, 2011
1:13 pm
Leggs:
I can feel the heat and see steam coming from these key pads cool down some…….LOL
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
1:13 pm
Slim – If not everyone, at least some are PMSing!!LOL!! Take a Midol please!!
Slim – I can tell you in the past when my family didn’t care for an SO of mine, it didn’t stop me from seeing them but it made me uneasy. They would express their dislike to me privately but were always cordial when they would come around. But it was an “uneasy cordial”. You could cut the tension with a knife. A few times I would try to be defiant, but deep down I really respected their opinion, especially my parents. They usually had a very good reason for their distaste. I didn’t want to admit it, but they were always right.
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
1:14 pm
Slim – The relationship would eventually fizzle.
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
1:19 pm
@BF ~ I’ve always said I would not argue with anyone on this blog. But, that post was harsh. I’m damned that I don’t have a revolving dating life, and would be equally damned if I did with a child in the house. I’m doing me the way that’s right for me. Sounds like I’m suppose to jump on all dating opportunities presented to. Lord know I could, if I didn’t respect myself, my home, and my child!
@SMK ~ Please understand. I may finally be seeking companion, but I’m doing it with a levelhead and not a moist puddy as my source of reasoning!
KaiserSoze
November 16th, 2011
1:22 pm
Sorry guys, work called and I was away from the computer for a couple hours. I appreciate the advice, but the key piece I guess I left out is they are in an ultra small town and there is no option but to stay in the house in a spare bedroom. I agree with most everyone that it is best for the kids. I guess my fear is that the kids may see it for more than what it is. I have already had the tough conversations with them and “if Mommy and Daddy will get back together”, so I don’t want to faster any false hopes.
And thanks for the kudos on the handle…one of my favorite flicks of all time.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
1:23 pm
Sometimes when things are up close we see through rose colored glasses. I wouldn’t necessarily do away or count someone out but I would try and inspect around what it is they see that I can’t see.
Too I think it depends on age. Usually you’re getting that kind of advice when you’re young, dumb and don’t know a thing. Now if I’m known for making bad decisions, again yes I’d have to consider what my family see that I can’t.
SlimNu
November 16th, 2011
1:24 pm
kimmie – What were some of the reasons they stated distaste for the SO at the time? (If you even remember)
SlimNu
November 16th, 2011
1:26 pm
My folks never said they disliked my ex…but my mom and stepdad said they felt he wasn’t mature enough for me as far as the long-term basis was concerned.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 16th, 2011
1:29 pm
Leggs:
I feel you like that, keep up the good work. That’s how real strong women do it.
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
1:38 pm
Slim?
is he younger than u?
another thing,ur older folks especially,may have seen something they don’t like but may not telling U ‘exactly that readon’ just for fear of crushing u.
They hope u take the q
(Slim asking questions on the sly)
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
1:39 pm
May not tell u
Exactly the reason
sworry
Into the Light
November 16th, 2011
1:43 pm
Afternoon, all!
Just back from (ugh!) the first of what will be many holiday potlucks. I was skimming trying to catch up, and will totally agree with whoever said that you have to be extra choosy (or not eat) at those things. And yes, I am that woman that will listen from the stall to make sure you wash your hands. If not, I will memorize your shoes and patrol the hall until I figure out who you are. Then, you go on the “no no” list.
I can so relate to the “family fallout” posts. The Ex’s mom told me I will always be family, no matter what, and his daughter calls/texts, “I miss you! When are you coming to see me?”
And Leggs, you are amazing, strong, and intelligent and anyone who has ever read you and has at least one operating brain cell knows that you always put Little Leggs first and foremost.
SlimNu
November 16th, 2011
1:45 pm
Sniffer – I was talking about my EX, not my current beau. But the ex was a few months older than me and the current beau is a few months younger than me. Actually, his bday is coming up within the next week
Into the Light
November 16th, 2011
1:47 pm
PS – Sniffer, you are cracking me up with the pseudonym!
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
1:49 pm
Slim…
there u go,talking/thinking bout ur Ex Again!
(u owe me for wasting my blog ink talking bout him)
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
1:49 pm
Thank you much, ITL. I appreciate that.
SlimNu
November 16th, 2011
1:51 pm
Sniffer – oh whatever!
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
1:52 pm
ITL
thx I’m keeping it
it puts a female on notice!
can u be my blog god mother since u blogetted(christened) the name?
SlimNu
November 16th, 2011
1:55 pm
And I brought up ‘the ex’ as a point of reference regarding the topic. smh
I’m so rhett to go! Wack!
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
1:56 pm
Slim – Remembering back, like your 1:26, one of the guys my mom could not see him being a potential longterm mate. She said he didn’t have much direction. Nice enough, but not impressive.
One guy did not impress my late brother, who I was very close to. My brother was what one would describe as a dream man. He was smart, good looking, a friend to all, humble and treated women like queens. He worshiped his wife. He knew how to treat a lady and wanted anyone I dealt with to treat me the same. One particular guy I was seeing just didn’t sit well with him. He was not mistreating me, but he was coming up short, according to my brother. He said I deserved better, in fact that was one of the last conversations we had before he died a few months later. He ended up being right on the money too. He set such an excellent example and I thought of him when choosing men. He would definitely approve of my husband today I think.
SlimNu
November 16th, 2011
2:05 pm
kimmie – Awwwww, you should’ve given an Eyeliner running warning. sniff sniff
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
2:08 pm
Slim – I was just telling my husband the other day how much I miss my brother. The thing is, he had so much going for himself, but didn’t take himself too serious. He was a 2nd year medical resident. His patients loved him. Right now he could walk in the room and not even know you and have you cracking up.
abc
November 16th, 2011
2:10 pm
I can so relate to the “family fallout” posts. The Ex’s mom told me I will always be family, no matter what, and his daughter calls/texts, “I miss you! When are you coming to see me?”
That’s nice and all I suppose, but I really don’t get that, personally. Should my sons marry, and if for some reason break up, get divorced, etc., then those chicks have made a break with me, too. Ain’t no way an ex of my kids is going to somehow get along with me. I’d be with my boys, not their exes.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
2:13 pm
abc – You are consistent…lol
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
2:13 pm
and funny
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
November 16th, 2011
2:13 pm
BLOG FIGHT: In the Red Corner, SMH-from parts unknown vs. In the Blue Corner, Leggs-from, (leggs where u from), residing now up the way from the Lil Church on the Hill (wink)…
Where’s the Popcorn!!
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
2:14 pm
I think it depends on the situation as to whether one interacts with exes family.
disco
November 16th, 2011
2:16 pm
slim nu – I wouldn’t worry too much about my family’s opinions now. my family disliking someone would probably be more of a personality conflict than a serious issue. we’ve got a lot of significant others that the general consensus is that we (the family as a whole) don’t like. my mother’s significant other, in particular, is not very well liked. to be totally honest I’d have to say my mother is the only one who truly likes him. everyone else simply tolerates him. my grandmother, before she passed, used to intentionally call him by the wrong name. I’ve joked that it’s bad when even the little kids don’t like you.
leggs – I used to use the phrase “multiple uncle syndrome” for the revolving door chicks. and it sounds like old movie cliché but I do know some women who allow their children to call these guys uncle.
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
2:17 pm
@Jake ~ had to laugh at the church comment. I don’t fight in Blogsville. A stranger behind a computer who doesn’t care for me…..not me.
SlimNu
November 16th, 2011
2:24 pm
abc – (not to bring up the ex again – Sniffer) But my exes mother still calls me from time to time. She always knew that I was what folks would phrase “a good woman for him” but deep down she also knew that he just wasn’t what I needed/wanted. I don’t necessarily see her taking sides or anything but I suppose she’s a little sad by the fact I am moving on with my life. I was like a daughter she never had i suppose and probably misses our friendship.
disco – Your story sort of sounds like how things are in every family…always that person you don’t necessarily care for but you tolerate them because they are with/dating/married to a family member…
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
2:25 pm
@disco ~ took me way back to calling someone “uncle.” My mother tried that on me when I was very young and I vehemently said “I know my uncles, he’s not your brother!” (Can you see how I got slapped a lot growing up
?)
Yeah, disco, not my style. I don’t need a man to make me feel worthy, but I need to feel worthy by doing right by my child. A man comes second (for now).
And for any smart asses out there that feel I will probably grow old alone, you might be right. And then again, you might be wrong! I’m betting on myself.
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
2:26 pm
abc..even when there are offspring’s outa ur kids and exes relationships?
No contact whatsoever?
U kinda sounding like the English Royal family(Queen and Prince)
dotting on William and Harry but hating Diana like a mfcka!
(well,she was a biatch,I can relate tho)
It happens tho in some fams.
Not good tho and poisonous!
abc
November 16th, 2011
2:28 pm
Nope, no contact with exes, beyond the absolutely essential, and there’s not much of that.
Lord Velonese
November 16th, 2011
2:31 pm
So, what if the person doesn’t have a family, and they grew up in foster care??? Automatic disqualification????
disco
November 16th, 2011
2:34 pm
leggs – I was essentially in the same boat when my son was at home. I didn’t even play the posting up in my house thing with men. not saying I wasn’t getting any just saying I wasn’t getting it at home. when my son was old enough to discuss such things he actually told me that he figured that’s what all my overnight road trips were about. I couldn’t resist telling him to stay out of grown folks’ business.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 16th, 2011
2:35 pm
Jake that was funny……LOL
Growing old alone, I fear not. If I grow old alone I’ll welcome it, if a love connection happens I’ll welcome that. I’m happy one way or the other.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 16th, 2011
2:38 pm
disco:
That was funny too…….LOL
I’ve over heard girl friends explaining the road trips to their child….LOL
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
2:39 pm
High Five, BF!!! That’s the only attitude to have.
Into the Light
November 16th, 2011
2:39 pm
@Sniffer: Yes, I will be your blog godmother. But I am not changing any diapers, let’s get that straight up front.
@abc: I do limit the amount of time I spend with them, because, like you say, at the end of the day family is family and he will always come first to his family. That said, though, just because he and I are no longer in love doesn’t mean I stopped loving them. I just love them from a distance now. But, I know that I know that I know if I ever needed anything, they would step up to the plate.
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
November 16th, 2011
2:42 pm
BF, since we can’t get Mayweather vs. Pacquio, gotta get the best ones that come across our way!!
disco
November 16th, 2011
2:44 pm
blackfoote – not even trying to be funny. just real talk. I didn’t shelter my child I just didn’t need him hearing some new uncle hollering out his momma’s name. ha ha. now that was supposed to be funny. still I guess I just appreciate that I’m not old and broke down enough that he’s disgusted by the thought of me getting some. I’ve finally got to the place where I cringe when my mother decides she wants to share and my mother’s not shy.
Into the Light
November 16th, 2011
2:45 pm
Jake, you left off the most important line….
“Let’s get ready to rrrrrruuuuuummmmmmmbbbbbbllllllleeeee”
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 16th, 2011
2:47 pm
Leggs: High five and fist bump back to you.
Light: Somehow can’t picture you a diaper changer…..LOL
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 16th, 2011
2:50 pm
Y’all cracking me up…….LOL
Robert
November 16th, 2011
2:52 pm
“How do you know when and if you are ready to meet the family?”
A few years ago my family decided to have Thanksgiving Dinner at my Mother’s house so we all could be together. It was good to see all my cousins, nieces and nephews. One of my Uncle’s pulled me to the side and told me his daughter was physically abused (beaten) by her boyfriend who was at the dinner. My Uncle askd me to talk to this young man and handle the matter. I tried to talk to the young man in private but his attitude made me mad. He had the nerve to tell me to “mind my business” and spoke to me in a harsh tone. I took a 2 minute break to gather my emotions. I gave him a choice. He could apologize or I would take my belt off and beat him like he was my child. He refused to apologize for his actions and decided to faced the consequences. I took my belt off and whipped that boy all over the back yard. The morale to this story is do not bring your boyfriend who beats you around family. You may forgive him, but your family will kick his but every time they see him. You do not have a choice. Justice will be served….
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
2:55 pm
this is where my culture and yours collide and clash
no way my mum wld talk about getting some or anything remotely close in my vicinity
It’s an abomination!
@Disco!
some of these kids outa single mom homes with no shame in their game gotta be real strong and hardened…coz some mamas don’t mind getting it in at home,even hollering,when the boy is sleeping with one eye open,in the bedroom next door!
That’s tough and sad!
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
November 16th, 2011
2:56 pm
Robert man that’s what I’m talking about, good ole fashion old school.
Into the Light
November 16th, 2011
3:01 pm
I’ve changed many a diaper, BF. Shoot, I’ve even got the tee-tee tent down to a science so that I don’t get sprayed.
Jake a.k.a. SPJ, TWB
November 16th, 2011
3:01 pm
ITL, thank you my dear, how did I forget….cant have a fight without it….lol
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
3:01 pm
Exiled – I know someone whose daughter could not stand her mother’s boyfriend, but mostly she could not stand hearing them do the do in the bedroom next to hers. She had enough and when he came to visit, she parked herself in mom’s bedroom and would not leave. She cried and told them it was wrong. Nobody got any sleep that night!
I felt so sorry for the girl!
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
3:04 pm
Any woman that tells a family member her bf is beating should be prepared for him getting his own arse kicked. That’s just the way it goes. Even if the males in the house are punks, they know to contract others to do the job for them….
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
3:04 pm
I have yet for my kid to hear or see mama getting it at home. I don’t play that. Rarely have I allowed my kid around a man…don’t play that either. Now that my kid is less than 5 months shy of 17, ain’t too much pulling the wool over the eyes will happen.
Any man I’ve dated and date have and must respect that.
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
3:08 pm
I so remember that story, kimmie! I can’t remember if you said she was 7, 8 or 13. Story funny and heartbreaking nonetheless.
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
3:08 pm
Yeah that’s a shame Kimmie!
@Robert?
What if the guy had a gun…you were going to put the whole fan at risk.
If i knew my daughter is dating an abusive person,they’re both not welcome in my home ‘together’. Inviting and welcoming the sucker in my home is such a strong statement.
I won’t do it!
The dumping decision is on her but she is going to get it in her ear from me.
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
3:09 pm
Celisea – I tried to tell my friend soon after her divorce that she should limit and be very selective of who she had around her daughter.
But being single & childless at the time, what did I know?
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
3:10 pm
Exactly, Celisea. Exactly.
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
3:11 pm
Leggs – She was about 12 or 13.
disco
November 16th, 2011
3:12 pm
re: the battered woman thing I agree and disagree. I agree that family members should step up and bust a brother up BUT I have also seen so many cases that these women are in it for the long haul with their abusers (after all the love him…). no point in daddy, uncle, cousin, brother constantly getting into and running the risk that things will go too far when the woman is comfortable with it.
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
3:13 pm
“But being single & childless at the time, what did I know?”
It boils down to common sense and wanting to protect your child (again, a rung on the ladder of common sense).
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
3:15 pm
@kimmie ~ I remember when you first told the story picturing a girl crying with her legs up to her chest and thinking she was older to be able to stand her ground and make everyone miserabe….
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
3:16 pm
Leggs – Common sense. You are right. There are some things you should not have to have experience at to know what to do or what is right.
Into the Light
November 16th, 2011
3:16 pm
@disco: This guy I know told me that he found out that his sister’s boyfriend had been hitting her. He confronted him about it, and it got physical. And what did his sister do? She hit her brother and yelled at him to leave her man alone. Messy, messy, messy….
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
3:19 pm
Leggs – I tell you my friend could not believe it, but I had been trying to tell her for years she was setting a bad example. I am her daughter’s play aunt, been there since she was born. She’s a sweet girl and an excellent student. She didn’t deserve to be exposed to that, no child should. I didn’t care for the dude either. I really felt for the child and her having to deal with him.
Robert
November 16th, 2011
3:19 pm
@Leggs – Most women do not tell family members or anyone else they are being abused. Some fear retaliation against their man. Some fear their man might hurt a family member. For whatever reason women do not tell someone about the abuse they are only hurting themselfs. My Mother use to tell my sister all the time be careful who you date because I do not want your 3 brothers to hurt someone or get hurt trying to protect your honor.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
3:21 pm
Kimmie – That’s just plain common sense. You don’t have to have a child to know that.
I even took a break from the tender age of about 3 to about 7 or 8. I just didn’t have time either trying to juggle that. Kids are some inquisitive little creatures. You better make sure, if you do decide to get it done that you be circumspect because kids are much smarter than what’s known.
There was only one guy that I was in a relationship with that saw her twice. Once with his son and another time while visiting….or dropping by I should say. When he would come over, it would be after her bed time. But even so, that was in the living room, watching movies or having dinner….NOTHING ELSE. Once he was over and I said “she’s not sleep”….she coughed (a fake cough) to let me know she heard me. Most times though I made sure she was SOUND asleep before company coming over. Like I said though…nothing popped off.
disco
November 16th, 2011
3:22 pm
once when I was younger I was out with a guy. his sister and her boyfriend were also out. something went down and the boyfriend started whaling on his sister. I was shocked when dude I was with didn’t do anything. I’m like yo that’s your sister. handle that. and he looked at me and said “for what. she’s just going to get right back with him.”
one of my female cousins was in a relationship where her boyfriend beat her up pretty often but she was in it and wasn’t going to leave him. she’s an only child but groups of my male cousins would go to her house and punk dude whenever they felt like it and tell him that they’d be back and she’d better not look hurt. it was so funny to watch a grown man cower in his own house but he knew not to jump bad.
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
3:23 pm
Today is my Friday….yaaaaah!!!! I’m not back until next week. Then out 2 weeks in December. Yeah baby
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
3:26 pm
@Robert ~ I realize that. I said if any woman should tell, they should expect teir by receiving a beatdown . Top reason many women don’t tell. Bet It took a while before your niece told her father. Doubt she told him with the first hit.
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
3:29 pm
expect their bf to receive a …..
Robert
November 16th, 2011
3:30 pm
@Sniffer – Guns are for suckers and cowards and if he had a gun he would be to scared to use it. The worst thing you can do is tell a grown man “I never want to see you again” and mean it. Duck tapeing a man to a tree and leaving him in the woods for a few days will bring him closer to his maker.
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
3:33 pm
If he’s duck taped, all the quacking would make him stir crazy
disco
November 16th, 2011
3:34 pm
Celisea – too funny re the little fake cough. Kids are the ultimate blockers. Once when mine was in high school a friend dropped by while he was driving through my city on his way to his own. my son had just packed up his textbooks, notebooks and assorted stuff and gone upstairs. No sooner than the doorbell rang and he heard a man’s voice my son and all of his stuff came right back downstairs and he parked at the dining room table until old boy left. I called him out on his blocking and he said “that’s right. I’m the man of this house.” I had to chuckle as he walked back upstairs.
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
3:36 pm
nothing popped off….
not even a fanga dip?
lol
but bootey under tight conditions(hush shhhh,kid is sleeping,hsshh don’t touch there ohhhh) is oh,so so sweet!
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
3:42 pm
disco – This was a steady and I’d been in a relationship about 5 years and he asked “can we take it to the back” and I said, nope kid sleep….as soon as I said it she coughed…. And to think he was in that “sexy tone” all sultry and not loud at all. She was a nosey little something too. I can say though, like I said she was always SOUND asleep before he came but I remember in this case I took a shower right after her, while she was getting ready for be and she asked “where you going”…said nowhere but was busy getting in relaxing clothes and smelling good…lol I think because of that she didn’t fall right asleep.
Mmeello – You made me laugh. You are retarded. Let’s say smootching. You’re right. Getting at it in a tight fix gets the adrenaling pumping.
disco
November 16th, 2011
3:44 pm
and still in the repeat telling “she coughed” is still so funny to me. I wonder what is going through the head of a small child when they are blocking like that. I’m sure on a level they know they are interrupting something even if they aren’t sure what that something is.
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
3:46 pm
daamn dude missed it by few inches….
took a shower…..relaxing nitie and smelling good…
oh man,I’m feeling his pain Big time!
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
3:47 pm
“but bootey under tight conditions(hush shhhh,kid is sleeping,hsshh don’t touch there ohhhh) is oh,so so sweet!”
@Sniffer ~ immediately made me think of a very, very old song named “Ready Made Family.” There was a verse in there that said “you only come late at night, after the kids are asleep…” I had to be about 14 or so when that song came out, but loved it immediately. Definitely a song played up North because know one ever knew what I was talking about. Hey, thought. We have youtube now. Let me see if I can dig up something.
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
3:52 pm
@Leggs!
so Leggs ur kid is about 17 and u saying u ain’t got none in about 16 years????!
I ain’t feeling that Big Time!!!
just wink at me and I will know what you mean and feel better bout it!
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
3:55 pm
disco – Yeah, she’s a nosey little something now. I get questioned from here to heaven when she THINKS something is up. I always feel like I’m breaking news to her if I’m going out. She wants to know who what when where how and why. Of course I remind her to remember I need the same from her once she’s REALLY into dating and still living under my roof….lol
Meelloo – I said NOTHING about a nightie. I had on a nice pair of black active wear pants and a black t
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
4:04 pm
Mmeello – You need to refrain and cleanse from sex for a while (if Queen can stand it) and clear your mind and head.
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
4:04 pm
Celisea? 3:55
Ugh hu….
Celisea
November 16th, 2011
4:07 pm
Yep…it’s the truth. You make me think you honestly believe folks can’t be civil and entertain without getting all loosey goosey and practice no self control…lol I think sometimes you like living up to the blog rep you’ve made for yourself.
kimmie
November 16th, 2011
4:08 pm
This computer does not like me to go to the Target website!
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
4:08 pm
@Sniffer ~ not once did I say that! It doesn’t matter to me what you’re feeling!
I remember that purple label. I found the song!
Sniffer!
November 16th, 2011
4:15 pm
civil and entertain?
not unless the pipeline of it is that regular?
‘can we take it to the back’ confirms like I knew,most men think that way eve time they pay a special nocturnal visit …..late!
@Leggs…u made me feel better!
(don’t ask don’t tell,I know)
Leggs
November 16th, 2011
4:44 pm
WOW, I still remember just about all the words. I was so young, but definitely understood.