accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: Are you open-minded?

My friend Dawn recently went out with an artist. She had a really good time on the date but she was a little surprised that he told her that she was not open-minded. He told her that based on her outlook sex, politics, religion, etc., he considered her someone who has a narrow view of the world.

Compatibility is important but how important is being open-minded? Do you consider yourself to be someone is open-minded?

When you think of your dating history, does it reflect that you are open to different types or have you generally focused on one particular type? Could you benefit from being more open-minded in dating?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

92 comments Add your comment

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

November 11th, 2011
7:57 am

I would submit that one has the right to be as open minded or closed minded as one wants. That said, dating is not significantly different than menu item chioces, the more one limits oneself, the less eotic pleasure one will ever know. As for me, with the exception of brocolli, and major scarring, I’ll try anything once.

Seriously though, when reading an Intenet profile, I do look for deal killers…BUT , not for me, for the lady. If she is a wild eyed liberal, she may not like me, because I am more conservative or even Libertarian, if she is a weekend mountian climber, I may not be able to keep up, if she likes to go to Fantasy Fest in Key West and walk around with a painted outfit and naked under the latex…hmmmm, well maybe. It is all in will I make her uncomfortable, not her make me uncomfortable. I’m too laid back to get too narrow-minded and my panties in a wad about differences.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

November 11th, 2011
8:00 am

Or to put it another way, “why sweat the small stuff”.

OUCH ! i bumped my head

November 11th, 2011
8:34 am

You pass judgement and call her out as narrow minded on the first date?
WOW! Pretty brash of him

Lady~

November 11th, 2011
8:34 am

Happy 11.11.11 MIA~

Lady~

November 11th, 2011
8:35 am

Happy Veteran’s Day as well! ;)

Lady~

November 11th, 2011
8:39 am

I feel I am open-minded. I am not a rigid chica and very liberal………I am also diplomatic and flexible with folks I am dealing with. I can rock and roll with any particular group and fit right in and not feel uncomfortable when hot button topics come up. I am a natural social butterfly and I appreciate the art of mastering people socially~

DreamsMaterialize

November 11th, 2011
8:49 am

“Narrow” is relative. I think some of my relatives who have never left their neighborhood are narrow-minded. Someone who has traveled the world may think I have a narrow view. An astronaut would probably say the world traveler has a narrow view. In the end, who cares though. People can have any perspective of the world they want. It’s up to me to decide if their level of “narrow-mindedness” matches my own. Just be you, and look for others who are doing the same and can appreciate that about you.

fallout

November 11th, 2011
8:50 am

Some people are so open minded that their brains have fallen out.

Leggs

November 11th, 2011
8:51 am

Happy Veteran’s Day.
Happy Courdoroy Day. They say 111111 looks like the lines in courdoroy so today is National Courdoroy Day. I think “National,” but it may just be “Happy.”

I like to think I’m open-minded. if I want to do something, I will. If I don’t and you don’t like the fact that I dont want to do something, it’s on you not me.

Optimus Prime

November 11th, 2011
8:58 am

Define “Open minded”. What’s one person’s fodder is another person’s poison. You could phrase it “Are you boring or exciting?” I’m as open minded sexually as you can get, but draw the line at threesomes or being with another man. Am I a prude? I think adrenaline rushes are the best thing going, but am I reckless or adventuresome? I like sponteneity and being outlandish, but am I being childish and immature or exciting and shoot from the hip? It’s different strokes for different folks.

Peach Blossom

November 11th, 2011
8:59 am

I think your friend Dawn with out with a jackass.

When he said she wasn’t open minded about sex, what did that mean? Does that mean Dawn isn’t into threesomes or what? She doesn’t like sex? Or honestly it probably meant she had no intentions of going down on him that night and she made him aware of it.

Being open minded is not about agreeing with someone, it’s about being tolerant of opinions different from yours. We’re not all going to agree with our SO’s all of the time, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love them.

It’s about tolerance, not agreement.

Button

November 11th, 2011
8:59 am

Good morning! I consider myself an open minded person. A person has a right to see things thru a tunnel vision, and that’s their right, but I wouldn’t let that be a deal breaker just because they see the glass half empty and I see it half full. I’ve learned to master the art of being tolerant of people and their way/view of life. We don’t have to agree on everything but we have to respect each other’s pov. that is all.

disco

November 11th, 2011
9:01 am

good morning guys. on topic – I feel I’m very open-minded in some areas and very narrow-minded (if not outright close-minded in others). In some things i.e. faith, politics, child rearing, mate selection I say to each his/her own and am very open minded. what folks like/think/want really isn’t my business. on the flip side, when some of those very same issues are personal I can have a more narrow view. I’ve been known to say “no child of mine” countless times. other peoples’ kids can do this that or the other but no child of mine.

leggs – I just bought a new corduroy jacket at new York and company. my son clowned me cracking jokes about corduroy but I had to remind him that he owns a corduroy blazer with leather patches on the sleeves. whose clowning who?

wilson

November 11th, 2011
9:12 am

Seems to me that declaring someone closed-minded on a first date is, well, pretty closed-minded.

Celisea

November 11th, 2011
9:13 am

Morning!

I pretty much agree that it’s relative. I can get my juices flowing looking at a pair of new pumps whereas you need to jump off a cliff to get the adrenaline going….to each his own. I agree…..he no dount was requesting freaked out deed done and she took a pass. Do you and what works for you.

Don’t ya’ll work too hard now :)

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

November 11th, 2011
9:24 am

In rereading the dialogue, I find myself wondering what his motive was. Was he attempting to manipulate her passively (I was accused of this many years ago and have gone out of my way to be aware of slipping in to this since)? Was he trying to guilt her in to something she didn’t want to pursue? Either way, more than enough grounds to kick his azzz to the curb before he gives all men a bad name.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

November 11th, 2011
9:26 am

Now Celisea, jumping off a cliff or out of a perfectly good airplane is just fine…you shouldn’t be so narrow minded (just kidding) ;-)

Leggs

November 11th, 2011
9:27 am

@disco ~ I like courdouroy. I bought a burnt orange courdoroy coat with me very first paycheck. Sounds ugly now, but it was the bomb back then!

@wilson ~ why even talk about sex on the first date. Oops, guess I’m close-minded (lol).

joe

November 11th, 2011
9:28 am

Imagine that, an ARTIST criticizing someone who attends church, isn’t into one night stands and doesn’t push a liberal agenda in her politics. Stand strong on your morals girl…he’s the one who has a warped way of looking at the world. Plenty of dudes out there who would appreciate your morals and standards!!

GracieL

November 11th, 2011
9:36 am

I’ve always been open minded in that I have no particular “type.” I’ve dated all kinds over the years, and try to see a man for what he has going for him instead of how he scores on a checklist (like some people I know.) Gotta branch out and learn/see/try new experiences in order to keep life interesting!

That being said, I have also learned over time that there are some categories I should NOT date anymore. It’s called “learning from one’s mistakes.” So now I have a “thanks for asking, but no thank you” list that includes alcoholics/junkies, bi-polar, violent felons, men with more than two ex wives, illiterate bubbas, Virgos, and Republicans. (I can be friends with all the preceding types, but not romantically intimate.)

Celisea

November 11th, 2011
9:40 am

Randyt – LOL your right though. It’s narrow mindedness because a person can’t get another to do or see things their way.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

November 11th, 2011
9:41 am

@ Leggs…the funny thing about this “why even talk about sex on the first date. Oops, guess I’m close-minded (lol)” is that it is counterproductive to begin with. All talking about sex does is bring up the defenses. Much better tact to not talk at all about it at all, discuss pleasantly your commonalities, and let the other know discretely that she is very interesting. Then let things happen (okay maybe set the stage, wine, pleasant environment, soft music, candles, etc.). Some people are just knuckleheads.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

November 11th, 2011
9:44 am

@ Celisea, funny thought though for me. I’m not into salivating over pumps, but walking down Madison Ave in New York in the Spring, and watching all of the gorgeous ladies salivating over the pumps in the windows…now that is stimulating. ;-) So, salivating over pumps does have its finer moments.

Celisea

November 11th, 2011
9:47 am

Yes it does Randyt yes it does :)

Leggs

November 11th, 2011
9:47 am

I 100% agree, Randyt.

Mike McQueary

November 11th, 2011
9:51 am

I consider myself open minded…and now it has come back to bite me.

“As the graduate assistant entered the locker doors, he was surprised to find the lights and showers on. He then heard, rhythmic, slapping sounds. He believed the sounds to be those of sexual activity. As the graduate assistant put his sneakers into his locker, he looked into the shower. He saw a naked boy, Victim 2, whose age he estimated to be 10 years old, with his hands up against the wall, being subjected to anal intercourse by a naked Sandusky. The graduate assistant was shocked but noticed that Victim 2 and Sandusky saw him. The graduate assistant left immediately, distraught.”

i'm swiss™

November 11th, 2011
9:52 am

I think the better question to ask with regard to dating is, “are you like-minded?” That doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing on everything, but I do think it’s helpful to agree on many things, if you want to have a successful relationship.

Adam Lambert

November 11th, 2011
9:52 am

Diva, just what IS her view of sex, politics, and religion. You give the impression this was a first date. So your friend discussed these things on a First Date? And you thought it worthy to spark a city-wide discussion about open-mindedness but without even trying to define the term?

Please don’t be advising folks about dating. Please.

Mike McQueary

November 11th, 2011
9:52 am

Was that wrong? Should I not have left? Should I have intervened? Should I have called the police?

kimmie

November 11th, 2011
9:53 am

Morning All! Happy Veterans Day first and happy 11/11/11!!! I know someone that is getting married this evening! Congrats Ashley!!

Dreams – Once again, you summed it up for me!

As for dude, how can he make such a judgement on a first date? Who is he to judge anyway. I agree Randyt, I think he was trying the passive manipulation thing. Anyway, when he said that to me we would have probably gotten in an arguement on what probably would have been on our first & last date. Just because my views don’t match yours I’m closeminded? Kick rocks!

I met this guy out once that said the same thing to me actually. We were exchanging initial information about each other. He was telling me since graduation his company had him living in a lot of places. I told him I’ve worked for different companies but all in ATL. He immediately chided me for being “stuck” and never wanting to leave and branch out. He laughed and almost didn’t let me get a word in. If he had gotten to know me, he would know that while I’ve been based here all my life I did at one time work for an airline and was pretty well traveled, even since childhood. Oh well, his loss!!!

abc

November 11th, 2011
9:54 am

Define open minded. Contrast that with having a strong sense of morals and ethics. Remove judgementalism from your regard for the definitions, and for the definitions themselves.

GracieL

November 11th, 2011
9:55 am

MM,

Yes. You should have bashed the older man’s head in, thrown some towels over the injured child, and called for help.

kimmie

November 11th, 2011
9:55 am

Leggs – Girl if you had that orange jacket now you could rock it because it would be right in style!!!

Leggs

November 11th, 2011
9:58 am

Does it help that I have on a ribbed orange turtleneck right now, kimmie (LOLOLOL).

kimmie

November 11th, 2011
10:04 am

Yes! You’re still rocking it!! Orange is one of my favorites, especially burnt orange!

Leggs

November 11th, 2011
10:05 am

Georgiagirl35

November 11th, 2011
10:16 am

I’ve found that the most closed minded people are typically the ones that claim to be open minded. They think that anyone who doesn’t agree with them are the closed minded ones.

Leggs

November 11th, 2011
10:18 am

Fellas, lelt me ask you this. Do you think it important to dress for that first date/meet and greet? Are you bothered by first impressions?

GracieL

November 11th, 2011
10:19 am

kimmie,

What color do you like with your burnt orange?

kimmie

November 11th, 2011
10:24 am

Gracie – I like to pair it with black, brown, beige, khaki green & denim.

GracieL

November 11th, 2011
10:28 am

Very nice. Not everyone can wear orange well, but it is one of my faves.

kimmie

November 11th, 2011
10:45 am

Gracie – I am going at lunch to hit some of these Veterans day sales. I really want some black suede boots with fur.

SexyCool

November 11th, 2011
10:48 am

I agree with T-shirts – sounds like a passive/agressive attempt at manipulation.

And thanks to EVERYone for not entertaining *that.* Sheesh…

And I too like burnt orange.

SexyCool

November 11th, 2011
11:08 am

Well…I guess someone responded. (lol)

I am *glad* it’s Friday. I need a weekend in the worst way. Running in the morning. And really, I need to find a stylist that does hair on Saturday afternoons. The person that I have been going to for the last 13 years, as much as I love her, doesn’t take appointments after 10a on Saturdays.

Leggs

November 11th, 2011
11:13 am

@SexyC ~ figured you’ll see that one response. I ddin’t want to tattle tale.

I am falling asleep and I’m blaming it on Blogsville. Where is everybody? Perhaps I got in the bed too early for the first time in ages.

BlackMagicWoman

November 11th, 2011
11:18 am

RANDY….stop describing me! You’ve been looking at my profile? :lol:

I am very open-minded. But then again, I have my moments of being an adreneline junkie so I cliff dive and other things. Then I have my moments of downtime and I am normal and analytical again! :lol: But I can roll with almost anybody, except ignorant classless folks! I try to seek the fun out of what the experience is. For instance, I’m hetero but I will attend a gay club to hang out with and support my friends that are gay. And I still have a good time. I laugh at how girls and guys aren’t that different with pick up lines or technique. I can pretty much talk about any topic. I love to debate, politics, religion romance, etc. But I have a problem with a guy who wants to talk sex on the first few dates. Get to know my last name fool before you ask me my favorite position. Nasty @$$! Probably diseased anyway since he is willing to hit anything born female with a friggin pulse! :lol:

Celisea

November 11th, 2011
11:19 am

I always wonder why people pick dating platform to talk about everything other than. For issue anonymous schmoes want to vent about, the are vehicles available. Glad most have sort of recgonized to skip over.

Celisea

November 11th, 2011
11:22 am

platformS and issueS

SexyCool

November 11th, 2011
11:25 am

Well, Cel – since I tend to talk about everything under the sun, what can I say? But…I getS a pass. I’m family.

That being said, TheDude was almost the result of a mild strangulation this morning. AFTER I got off the phone with the wedding planner, confirming that we were going to definitely be securing her services, he asks me, “What would you think about having a *much* smaller ceremony and spending the money on a great honeymoon instead?” Um, huh? (lol) I sweetly replied that this point, as there has been no money spent, I am still willing to consider all options, but that since we are less than 300 days out, TODAY would be a good day to make a firm decision and stand on it.

That being said, we are going with our original plans.

BlackMagicWoman

November 11th, 2011
11:36 am

SC….Mild strangulation? :lol: Girl you are crazy! Poor “dude”!