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Dating: Ready to hear the magic number?

The next time you get the crazy idea to bring up the “magic number”, really think carefully if it’s worth it. It is important to have an honest discussion about your partner’s sexual health, but too much detail could end up being problematic.

I know we all say we are mature enough to handle info about our partner’s past, but the reality is, that’s not always the case. One thing we seem to get hung up on is not knowing about the context of the number. You wonder if there were multiple relationships or multiple hook-ups – or both. As soon as we get the digits (digit?), we start doing the mental math of how many partners, per year of sexual activity.

The number starts doing a number on the relationship and then there is trouble in paradise. I have seen it happen a lot! So are you really ready to talk about the magic number or do you just think you are?

How do you handle the discussion of the magic number? Do you opt for full disclosure or do you go the “need to know” route?

Have you ever told someone you were dating your actual magic number or did you fudge the numbers to appear less or more?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating

246 comments Add your comment

disco

November 7th, 2011
2:51 pm

oh. y’all are cutting up. not that servers are chasing folks out to the parking lot now behind their tips. and 3 cents as a tip sent a message loud and clear. it might have been less painful for her if you just didn’t leave a tip but to leave 3 cents. dang.

kimmie

November 7th, 2011
2:57 pm

Leggs – That’s wild!LOL!! Our service was decent, but we were poor just out of college. I literally had cleaned out my wallet. We probably had left her about 10% thinking back. She came out telling us she had a kid to support. I felt a little bad for her on one hand, but on the other….

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
2:58 pm

That’s what they should be there for — hygiene enforcement.

Bathroom Attendant uniform: I can picture them fully equipped with a plunger on their utilty belt, emergency baby wipes, a badge with the picture of a toilet on it, a mask and gloves.

Leggs – 3 pennies WOW!!! :lol:

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
2:58 pm

We were treated like “these damn Yankees are stinking up my table,” so we stunk it up!!!

Celisea

November 7th, 2011
2:59 pm

.03 cents…that’s mean. I would have tipped but I would have definitely told the manager…for sure

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
3:03 pm

My folks and I went to Cracker Barrel Saturday. Our waiter was very nice…so two of us ordered meatloaf…talked and waited on our food. Here comes the waiter to tell us they no longer have meatloaf. He ended up telling the manager to come to our table because he didn’t want it to reflect on him or his tip. He said they should’ve told him what the deal was, when the order was placed. So the manger comes out to apologize and asked first for another choice then offered some dessert. I’m looking at her like, I don’t want no dayum dessert but you can give me a discount. She sort of paused for a second but said sure. Long story short, we got our meal free. ;-)

Lady~

November 7th, 2011
3:05 pm

LOL slim!!!!! I miss Mick’s meatloaf too!!!! love meatloaf! too funny!

Into the Light

November 7th, 2011
3:07 pm

Afternoon, y’all!

Skimming to catch up. I’m glad the subject of tipping on a pick-up/carryout was discussed. I always stand there, pen in hand, like “do I or don’t I??”, unsure of the right thing to do.

Did I see someone say they don’t tip at the nail salon?

There has only been one time that I’ve ever not left a tip, and that was at Smith’s Old Bar. Our drinks sat on the counter so long waiting on the server to pick them up they weren’t cold anymore. We even offered to go pick them up, and the server got mad. We asked for the tab after one round, and left the exact change.

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
3:12 pm

Yes, it was very mean, and so was she! At 19, I’ll probably do it again.

SexyCool

November 7th, 2011
3:14 pm

ITL – I said that there is a nail shop that I go to sometimes that does not have a tip line on its receipts, but that it should.

If I remember when I am headed there, I will make sure to have some cash for tipping on me, but usually, the only cash that I carry is the emergency twenty dollar bill stashed at the back of my wallet.

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
3:14 pm

.03 cents…that’s mean. I would have tipped – ummm I did tip, only problem is it was an inappropriate tip. I’m not tipping bad, insolent, better than tho behavior. Nor do I need a manager that may feel the same way to side with her. I handled it how I felt best at that time. I bet she’ll never forget her .3 cent tip!

Into the Light

November 7th, 2011
3:17 pm

Gotcha, SCool! I’m glad you clarified, bc I was thinking, “Dang…you mean all this time I’ve been tipping 20% or better and it’s not expected???” :lol:

disco

November 7th, 2011
3:17 pm

speaking of tips. this morning on a radio call in show they were talking about creepy situations. so a server calls in. she worked at some restaurant and said there was a guy who was somewhat of a regular. she said he was old (like 55) but age is relative and I think she was maybe 22 or 23. anyway she said one day he left her a nice tip with a note asking her to call him. she said she tossed the note. she says at some point a friend told her to check out a section on craigslist for people looking for folks they had random encounters with. apparently the guy who left her the note was on there making comments about the hot waitress (her) and how he wished she would call and how he tries to go to the restaurant when he thinks she’s working and on and on. she said the guy had been leaving messages on there for months.

Celisea

November 7th, 2011
3:19 pm

Now THAT’S creepy

kimmie

November 7th, 2011
3:22 pm

Creepy with a capital C!!!

Have any of you guys ever seen that show “Why Am I Still Single?” or Tough Love Miami? Talk about folks without a clue!!!

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
3:24 pm

I was under the weather this weekend and tuned into Tough Love Miami. Dreadful that they are so freaking clueless…

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
3:24 pm

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
3:25 pm

I haven’t really been able to get into Why Am I still Single…I’ve seen a few episodes of Tough Love though. Much of what he says makes sense with regard to each of the ladies, plus it gives you a good perspective of what men actually think.

Anyone see Housewives of ATL last night?

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
3:31 pm

@SlimNu ~ his best visual was the “deal breakers” they had on their list and the 50-100 gentlemen in the audience representing the working man.

I saw the 30 min premier of HOA, but turned it off after 20 mins of the actual show airing because NeNe is a damn airhead…..

kimmie

November 7th, 2011
3:33 pm

I stopped watching all those Housewives shows. They are not fun anymore. The Basketball Wives, especially BWLA, have more drama, but they are trash too.

Celisea

November 7th, 2011
3:34 pm

Me too Kimmie…not much patience for that. I did watch Black Girls Rock…that was awesome!!!

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
3:35 pm

@kimmie ~ that’s how I felt about the show last night so I turned it off…too much cackalacking cackling….

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
3:35 pm

Leggs – Yeah I saw that episode and I meant to bring it up on the blog but I guess I got side tracked. I want to say the chick on the other show (why still single) did a similar exercise for a chick that had a long list of MUST HAVES…

Nene has really turned into an ego-driven ditz

kimmie

November 7th, 2011
3:37 pm

Slim – Why am I Still Single tries to be too much like Millionaire Matchmaker, but I like MM much better.

I did see a funny preview for Still Single. It was this crazy dude telling this woman that his dream was to father a child by a woman from all the different countries of the world. He said he was the black Brad Pitt! :shock:

kimmie

November 7th, 2011
3:38 pm

Slim – Turned into? How about she always has been!!LOL!!

Celisea

November 7th, 2011
3:39 pm

This is the 2nd time I’ve turned into a radio station and Candy is marketing her toys.

Celisea

November 7th, 2011
3:39 pm

Candi Candie Candy…whatever her name.

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
3:40 pm

kimmie – I also like MM, but Patti can be a bit harsh when it comes to telling the women about how they look. Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it.

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
3:42 pm

kimmie – Well she is now even more of one…who goes around blasting how RICH they are??? C’mon now. I think the song from Housewives of New York is appropriate here. Money can’t buy you class. lol

kimmie

November 7th, 2011
3:42 pm

Slim – Yeah she’s harsh, but that’s tv. It’s for ratings. What makes it hillarious to me, though, is that Pattie really should follow some of her own advice! Because most of the time she looks a hot mess, especially that weird lip liner/lipstick thing she has going.

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
3:43 pm

kimmie

November 7th, 2011
3:45 pm

Slim – No it cannot buy you class at all. But the word “class” should really not be used in the same sentence to describe ANY of those women from ANY of those Housewives shows. Class would not be on reality tv airing your laundry, dirty or not.

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
3:46 pm

The jury has reached a verdict after 9 hrs. of deliberation to be announced soon.

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
3:47 pm

kimmie – It’s her bad plastic surgery job in my opinion. She should’ve kept it to the neck lift and left the other part of her face alone. She looks like Jason from the Halloween movies with that weird pale face :shock: —>to the corner I go

SexyCool

November 7th, 2011
3:47 pm

Patti Stanger needs a stylist/mirror.

There is nothing about Kandi that would make me want to buy a sex toy from her. This is quite obviously an attempt to capitalize on the exposure from RHOA. And perhaps she will do well with it, it’s just not something that interests me.

Celisea

November 7th, 2011
3:49 pm

SexyC – I agree….regarding Kandi

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
3:50 pm

@SexyC ~ She’s trying to extend her Kandi Coated Sexapades (dialoge) into a sex toy franchise.

kimmie

November 7th, 2011
3:51 pm

SCool – I agree about Kandi, but hey, not knocking her trying to get her hustle on and milk her 15 minutes. The K sisters getting theirs.

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
3:51 pm

What’s very interesting to me about Kandi is how she talks through her teeth. It’s amazing…

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
3:51 pm

kimmie – What do you think about the model chick on HWOA, Cynthia I believe is her name? She seems to be the most low key of them all not including Candi who tends to just be upfront and keep it norm.

Celisea

November 7th, 2011
3:52 pm

I’m not big on toys anyway…but that’s just me. I think the mind and body is built the all the possibilities. I have never owned a sex toy for that matter. I have a couple of girlfriends that did/does/do….lol Just not my style.

Celisea

November 7th, 2011
3:53 pm

FOR all the possibilities

Celisea

November 7th, 2011
3:53 pm

Guess that’s another topic for another day.

WD you reading? That’ll get you an audience I bet.

disco

November 7th, 2011
3:56 pm

there was a comedian on tom joyner recently who said that basketball wives should have been called “lucky beeyotches”. don’t remember his name but he was kind of funny.

kimmie

November 7th, 2011
3:59 pm

Slim – She seemed nice enough from what I saw of her that 1st season she was on. I’ve seen her in some magazine ads before she went on the show. Kandi is okay with me too. I really can’t stand anyone else on the show, which is another reason I don’t watch anymore. I don’t like Cynthia & Kandi enough to watch it. I think I can’t stand Phaedra with her nasty-looking lips & stank attitude the most.

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
3:59 pm

We were all sitting around last night talking about we need to have a reality show called the Broke Bytches or the Real Broke Wives of Conyers…and of course, being a wife is not a requirement of the show lol

Leggs – I like when that stylist dude does impressions of all the girls. I nearly died when he did Kandi… :lol:

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
4:05 pm

I can’t stand Phaedra with her nasty-looking lips & stank attitude the most

It’s funny you said that because I was thinking to myself, why does she put so much on and she wants to use the frosty colored gloss. :???:

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
4:05 pm

The show is horrible:

Sheree – a conceited, “bless your little heart” mess
NeNe – ghetto is as ghetto does. Keeps it real, but she needs some tact. And the fact that you can buy a car for $13,500 cash does not make you rich. It’s makes you stupid because he’s going to wreck that one too. A smart, rich person would have gone to the auction block. And, a $1,000 discount isn’t much if you were really balling with an ex!!!!
Kim ~ she may have calmed down just a tad
Phaedra ~ was wearing that hat at the funeral.
Cynthia ~ she has a funny face/cheekbones.

No, I didn’t watch the show (lol).

kimmie

November 7th, 2011
4:06 pm

What trips me out about BWLA is that Imani chick. Her claim to fame is that she is an EX-FIANCE’ of 10 years to some b-ball player!! 10 years and 3 kids later you are the EX-FIANCE’!!! I would be embarrased to claim that on national tv!!

disco

November 7th, 2011
4:08 pm

kimmie – you are crazy re the ex fiancé. could she at least save face by saying they lived in a common law state? hey, it’s worth a shot.