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Dating: Ready to hear the magic number?

The next time you get the crazy idea to bring up the “magic number”, really think carefully if it’s worth it. It is important to have an honest discussion about your partner’s sexual health, but too much detail could end up being problematic.

I know we all say we are mature enough to handle info about our partner’s past, but the reality is, that’s not always the case. One thing we seem to get hung up on is not knowing about the context of the number. You wonder if there were multiple relationships or multiple hook-ups – or both. As soon as we get the digits (digit?), we start doing the mental math of how many partners, per year of sexual activity.

The number starts doing a number on the relationship and then there is trouble in paradise. I have seen it happen a lot! So are you really ready to talk about the magic number or do you just think you are?

How do you handle the discussion of the magic number? Do you opt for full disclosure or do you go the “need to know” route?

Have you ever told someone you were dating your actual magic number or did you fudge the numbers to appear less or more?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating

246 comments Add your comment

SexyCool

November 7th, 2011
1:09 pm

Meelow – you tip when you order at fast food restaurants?

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
1:11 pm

@SlimNu ~ I have done it with carryout only.

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
1:12 pm

Meaning delivery to work or home, I’ll tip.

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
1:13 pm

Nevermind, that’s not counter service. I’ll go back to my dark corner.

Exiled!

November 7th, 2011
1:17 pm

As a general rule No.

unless the server has really gone the extra mile in doing something

Wonder why SlimNu asked?

SexyCool

November 7th, 2011
1:22 pm

SlimGoody – are you talking about at places that have a tip jar?

I know they *used* to have one at Moe’s…can’t remember seeing on the last few times I was there.

I used to throw my change in tip jars, but after some consideration one particular day, I decided that all they are doing is the job that they are paid to do, so I no longer even do that.

Exiled!

November 7th, 2011
1:23 pm

Well I think I know why tipping is warranted even in pick up situations, say it’s a group order and u call in…obviously this order needs special handling coz of the speciL instructions etc

Then tipping is in order even if u urself go to pick up

I guess context here matters

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
1:26 pm

I tip sometimes but at other times I don’t. When I ordered some to-go from Red Lobster last week, I ended up tipping. I tipped when I went to JR Crickets just now but I have never tipped at a Subway and maybe some other places. I just wasn’t sure what the protocol was. I mean, they really aren’t doing anything extra other than giving me my food. That is no different than going thru a drive-thru

SexyCool

November 7th, 2011
1:27 pm

Meelow – now that makes sense, but I rarely do that..so…

kimmie

November 7th, 2011
1:35 pm

Me & SO were talking about that tip thing the other day. I am also coming across a lot of places that don’t have the tip jar, but if you pay by credit or debit card they have a line for the tip. Places like Starbucks. You are right, SCool, all they did was ring my order up. I used to feel a little guilty, but now I don’t.

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
1:37 pm

Sometimes I get in my, You haven’t done anything that warrants a tip phase.

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
1:38 pm

kimmie – I think i struggle with that guilt thing too if I don’t leave a tip. lol

SexyCool

November 7th, 2011
1:41 pm

Exactly, kimmie – sometimes, I really wanna give some places a side eye for the tip line on the receipt.

And then there are some places that I go to that I think needs one, but doesn’t have one – like this nail shop that I go to sometimes. I don’t always carry cash and I really wouldn’t mind tipping Soon-Li for getting the line on my french tips just right, but don’t have the cash and they don’t have the tip line.

And speaking of tips, why is it that the food industry can get away with paying their employees less than minimum wage based on tips, but other industries, like the beauty industry don’t have that standard? Seems unfair…

i'm swiss™

November 7th, 2011
1:55 pm

“And speaking of tips, why is it that the food industry can get away with paying their employees less than minimum wage based on tips, but other industries, like the beauty industry don’t have that standard?”

My guess would be that the restaurant lobby has more $$ than the beauty salon lobby. I don’t know that for a fact, but that’s usually the way things go…

SexyCool

November 7th, 2011
1:56 pm

Swiss – you know I was thinking that as I typed it…”lobbyists.”

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
1:56 pm

The ‘itis’ is rolling in strong….Where is everybody?

i'm swiss™

November 7th, 2011
2:01 pm

On the subject of tipping guilt…

I was in L.A. last week for an interview & took a cab from LAX to my hotel, which was literally a 5 minute ride away. So, the metered fare was like $16, but apparently in L.A. they have a minimum fare of $19 for any taxi trip originating from the airport (no idea why, but whatever). So, I give the guy a $20. The guy says, “you realize the minimum fare is $19, right?” And I replied, “you realize I gave you $20, right?” :lol:

Exiled!

November 7th, 2011
2:01 pm

Enter your comments here

Exiled!

November 7th, 2011
2:05 pm

Swiss, I that LA example is because of strong Democrats and labor presence.

LA is deemed expensive.sp is NY

there is money but the labor costs/rates there,relatively speaking are ^….

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
2:07 pm

swiss – Heyal YEAH! That’s what I would’ve said! So are you thinking about leaving the old “Hotlanta” Area?

Exiled!

November 7th, 2011
2:09 pm

this woman here at the bank made a move in me

I kid u not ….and I’m confused :lol:

did she or did she not…..? :???:

CoNuNdrUM

let’s see…

Exiled!

November 7th, 2011
2:10 pm

i'm swiss™

November 7th, 2011
2:12 pm

Me.lo — Maybe so. I just thought it was funny the guy was trying to guilt me into giving more $$ when I’m already getting screwed by the minimum fare deal. Plus, all I had on me was $20’s and I wasn’t going to break another one just for this dude.

Slim — Fear not, your friendly neighborhood swissie isn’t going anywhere. Well, not permanently, anyway. For this gig I would be working out of my house when not traveling to client sites. I may occasionally be in LA, especially early on, but I wouldn’t have to relocate.

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
2:12 pm

Seems like a tip of a dollar is frowned upon these days, swiss.

disco

November 7th, 2011
2:14 pm

back from a mediocre lunch but since I packed it I guess I can’t complain. I don’t mind tipping when tipping is called for but I really get perturbed at some of the bathroom attendants that think they deserve a tip just because they are standing there. I don’t need you to help me wipe or wash and I didn’t eat one of your little mints. why are you shooting daggers at me when I don’t tip you on my way out of the restroom?

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
2:14 pm

@Ex ~ you seem to always be confused on whether a woman is hitting on your or not!

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
2:16 pm

YAyyy! We’d shole hate to see another one bite the dust round deez herrr parts. Next thing we know, they’ll only be tumbleweeds, abandoned blog bars and sand storms.

Celisea

November 7th, 2011
2:16 pm

MMeello – She did not…lol

Random – My coworker (yes the fairly new one that’s called in at least once a week since being hired), for the 2nd time in 11 months called in sick…….taking an entire week. Funny thing too, on the call this morning someone asked if he was feeling better and he was like oh yes…much. Well there’s a cashier in the cafe sees him every morning and sometimes chat and sometimes she sees us together. She asked last week where he was and I didn’t know. Funny a minute ago she said, I asked where’d he been on vacation and he said, it was lovely :| (blank stare).

But yes, that’s really none of my business.

Celisea

November 7th, 2011
2:19 pm

To boot, he has no shame.

i'm swiss™

November 7th, 2011
2:22 pm

disco — Oh man, the toilet jockeys are the worst. Who needs that? I personally get a little creeped out by it — especially if the place isn’t busy & it’s just you and a dude watching you p!ss. The sh!tter should always be self service, IMHO… :lol:

i'm swiss™

November 7th, 2011
2:23 pm

Ladies, do they have that in the ladies room anywhere? Or do they only try to sucker us dudes?

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
2:24 pm

Seems like a tip of a dollar is frowned upon these days

Leggs – Yeah but that’s exactly how much I tipped the chick at the wing spot today. Oh well, a dollar is better than nothing and if you want to complain, Gimme back my 3 quarters, two dimes and a nickle!!! :lol:

disco – I Hate those bathroom people. They have gotten slick over the years. I used to get my own paper towels at the sink farthest away from the attendent. But now they don’t put any towels or soap anywhere else so you’ll almost HAVE to get it from them. I don’t tip myself when I’m at home and I sure as heyal ain’t paying you to hand me a paper towel or squeeze soap in my hand. PUH-LEAZE! :roll:

Exiled!

November 7th, 2011
2:25 pm

Leggs…I know right..

I guess in my mind its unbelievable coz I will be like ,’ u shole know what u trying to get urself into?’ :lol:

Cel..if he ain’t producing he be gone soon. Numbers don’t lie

Lord Velonese

November 7th, 2011
2:26 pm

Like Stewie Griffen said: “Is there any tread left on the tire or is it like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.” I’d have serious problem if it is like that.

Peach Blossom

November 7th, 2011
2:28 pm

LEGGS

Thank you.

SEXYCOOL

That’s funny. It is what it is and nothing more. He’s a good guy, he just slept with a lot of women prior to me. So from my standpoint, numbers do matter, but honesty matters more. We should have talked and been honest with each other earlier in the relationship.

SLIMNU

No, no it’s nothing like that. He’s not in the public eye and he’s not a porn star. It’s more like his old girl friends haven’t heard he’s been married for a while and they still call him at home. Stuff like that. We run into his old girl friends at restaurants and they talk to him, and women know when another woman was involved with their SO; we can just tell. He even deleted his Facebook page because women would send him old pictures.

It’s herpes and the outbreaks are getting less and less frequent and less intense. He’s extremely remorseful about the whole thing and has told me if he had to do it again, it would be different. He’s not a bad guy and he loves me. Regardless of the herpes, we have a good relationship and if you would forgive me for the humor, but that’s much like the old saying: “Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how’d you like the play.”

How’d we move from numbers to tipping?

Celisea

November 7th, 2011
2:28 pm

Mmeello – I use to cover for him but I don’t any longer. If someone calls and say he didn’t hook something up right and he ain’t here I hand it right off to the next in line. If he’s here, I’ll send the person his way. One thing though he does when he’s doing that is “working from home.” So he’s not totally absent but that’s a means for when it’s snowing or you’re sick FOR REAL, or you have personal appointments and need to be in an out. Not to be abused.

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
2:30 pm

@swiss ~ it’s funny to hear about the attendees in the men’s room…we have it alot in our restrooms. If I’m not using any of your items, I see no need to tip you. The water in the sinks are provided by the club, I always have lotion, mints in my bag, don’t need to give you a $1.00 for your service. Now, if I’m in the chatting with you and you shooting the breeze back with me, I may tip. If you’re in their acting Iike I’m obligated, I’ll probably just leave. Believe it or not, it takes a special personality to be up in the ladies’ room. If you have no convo, you get no $$….

Exiled!

November 7th, 2011
2:30 pm

but the chicks at the bootey club are ok with $tips

Yea Swiss?

SexyCool

November 7th, 2011
2:32 pm

Toilet jockeys – lmao. True story – I went into the bathroom at Uptown Comedy Corner and I didn’t have any cash on me. I told the attendant chick that I didn’t have any cash on me. Her response, “What’s your table number? I’ll come out there and get it.”

I had no response.

disco

November 7th, 2011
2:33 pm

well – i was having a somewhat stressful workday but now I’m going to say a little prayer of appreciation that I’m not a bathroom attendant.

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
2:34 pm

Me, I’be be in their working for my tips:

Girl, you wearing those shoes..hope you have a good evening.

Oh my, turn around, let me see that dress…looking good, chica, looking good.

Now, when you go out, don’t hurt no body….keep representing!!!

Smile. Ummm, your make up is very nice…so on and so forth (LOLOLOL).

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
2:35 pm

SexyCool ~ I would have given her my table number and when she arrived, handed her a quarter…damn, that’s a bit much!!!

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
2:35 pm

swiss – At least we have stalls in the womens’ restroom so you don’t have to worry about the attendant checking out the goods. lol But I have seen one of them call a chick out when she tries to leave the restroom without washing her hands. LOL

i'm swiss™

November 7th, 2011
2:36 pm

“but the chicks at the bootey club are ok with $tips “

Me.lo — Now if they really want me to tip in the potty, put a buck-nekkid, smoking hot chick in there instead of some dude & I’ll be tipping all night. (And I’ll also be taking more p!ss breaks than a middle aged dude in a prescription drug commercial). :lol:

i'm swiss™

November 7th, 2011
2:37 pm

“But I have seen one of them call a chick out when she tries to leave the restroom without washing her hands”

Slim — Well now that I fully support. That’s what they should be there for — hygiene enforcement. :lol:

SlimNu

November 7th, 2011
2:39 pm

SC – Maybe her daytime job is working for the IRS or a debt collection agency :lol: I don’t normally call other females the B word but her response might’ve made me come back with “Bytch please!” :shock: :lol:

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
2:40 pm

Calling them out is one way to ensure NO SOUP FOR YOU…..

kimmie

November 7th, 2011
2:44 pm

I’ll never forget the time me & a buddy were leaving Dugans. Apparently our server was unhappy with the tip we left and ran after us in the parking lot to let us know! :shock:

Celisea

November 7th, 2011
2:47 pm

Still talking tips….brb

Leggs

November 7th, 2011
2:47 pm

@kimmie ~ Me and 3 gfs just arrived to Georgia. May have been here 1 month. We went out to eat. Our server was horrible. We left $.3 on the table since it was 3 of us. She ran after us and threw the pennies at us. We laughed as we got into the car.