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What really attracts a man?

There was a poll of about 20, 000 men to find out what they were attracted to. The results listed the top traits that most men put at the top for initial attraction:

1. Sexual chemistry
2. Smile
3. Kindness
4. Sense of humor
5. General body type
6. Eyes
7. Intelligence
8. Communication skills
9. Teeth/Lips
10. Hair

The list of traits that men are attracted to for “long term”:
1. Kindness
2. Sense of humor
3. Communication skills
4. Sexual prowess
5. Intelligence
6. Smile
7. Listening skills
8. Money/Wealth
9. General body type/fitness
10. Eyes

I have to admit, I expected body type to be at the very top but I am not surprised it’s listed in the top 10. Also, men are into eyes? Who knew! I believe that if women were polled, a lot of the same traits would be listed, but it is hard to predict how they would rank the traits.

Guys do you agree with the lists? Do you have others that should be placed on the list?

I think a lot of us are attracted to the same traits, but do we actually possess the traits we seek out? Do you think that what attracts you initially is similar to what you are attracted for the long term?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

367 comments Add your comment

reebok

November 3rd, 2011
7:57 am

Funny and Smart (’Sense of Humor’ and ‘Intelligence’ in the terminology above) knock me dead. Anything after that is just a bonus.

LeeH1

November 3rd, 2011
8:22 am

Anyone who has traveled in the Middle East, where women wear veils, knows how dangerous and attractive women’s eyes can be.

jarvis

November 3rd, 2011
8:28 am

Perky breasts didn’t even make the list?
Who were these guys?

Rock Gaines

November 3rd, 2011
8:38 am

I’m into women who are honest about themselves. I also like women who are not afraid to reveal the good and the bad about me to my face. That helps me to grow as a person after the initial shock wears off.

I like self-confident women who don’t neccessarily have to keep telling you they are – it’s a natural part of their personality. A rockin’ body is nice, but what’s inside that body? A willingness to compromise when we have a stalemate is always a plus.

Single and Happy!!!

November 3rd, 2011
8:41 am

From what I see, this poll only shows the same thing it took to get them is the same thing it takes to keep them!

CoolShadow

November 3rd, 2011
8:42 am

Guys do you agree with the lists? Do you have others that should be placed on the list?

I totally agree with the qualities, although the order could be rearranged depending on how much thought is put into it on a given day.

I think a lot of us are attracted to the same traits, but do we actually possess the traits we seek out?

I think we generally try to exhibit the qualities we want to attract, although in some cases we may be attracted to a person that has a quality that we think we may lack. For example, a stoic person may be attracted to a person with a strong sense of humor.

Do you think that what attracts you initially is similar to what you are attracted for the long term?

Yes, it’s usually the tangible qualities that initially reel you in (smile, body type, eyes, etc.), and then you explore to see if the intangible qualities (kindness, intelligence, humor, etc.) will intrigue you enough to want to get to know them better.

jake's mom

November 3rd, 2011
8:43 am

money/wealth surprise me. FYI guys: most of us have no intention of being the “nurse and purse” for some deadbeat

Stonethrower

November 3rd, 2011
8:49 am

Can she cook like me?

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
8:51 am

I can tell you that for most women, intelligence would always come before the body type and sexual prowess when describing what we look for in a man. What I do find interesting is that men say they will leave their woman if she gains too much weight (not sure what too much is, guess it depends on the guy), yet, in this survey they state body type/fitness came in second to last in regards to long term attraction .

mike

November 3rd, 2011
8:51 am

How about mental wellbeing? Everyone I come across has some deep rooted issues revolving around daddy issues, insecurities, and jealousy.

Augusta

November 3rd, 2011
8:52 am

Apparently a strong single independent female scares the crap out of most men.

I’ve been on my own, raising a child alone (who has now left my nest), and I can’t seem to meet a MAN who isn’t intimidated by the fact that I can take care of myself. I am NOT one of those who NEEDS a man in her life. Obviously I’ve done just fine by myself.

However, I truly miss companionship. I’m not really looking to get married again, I would just like a companion to do things with. I get tired of being the only single person at a party. I get tired of doing things alone.

I love to cook, and would love to find a man who knows his way around a kitchen. I’m not into playing games, I’m straightforward and honest. I take good care of myself, I’m not overweight, not drop dead georgeous, but I have a very witty sense of humor, always have a smile on my face, no stress, no drama, and a love for life…..

So what’s the problem?

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
8:52 am

Good morning blogsville

From the lists above, seems that more physical factors appear on the initial list but less are on the one for the long term. However, until this morning, I never thought to separate the two, Short-term list from a Long term one. Interesting…

Gonna miss the beau this weekend, he be going huntin’ in da woods of Bama *sigh*

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
8:53 am

@stonethrower ~ I was really surprised that one wasn’t even on there. Guess times have changed and men figure if the woman has money/wealth then she can just buy him dinner and doesn’t need to cook.

Jaded Guy

November 3rd, 2011
8:54 am

What Female Traits Attract THIS Man:

- Kindness to Strangers

- Sincerity

- Intelligence

- Ability to Articulate

- NOT Using Her “Monthly Visitor” to Be Verbally & Emotionally Abusive

- NOT Being a Cheater

- NOT Using Her Secret Online Profile to Scour for Other Men While Claiming to Want to Marry Me

- NOT Sleeping with My Best Friend Since Childhood

- NOT Being a Lying, Cheating, Manipulative, Hateful [Female Dog] Whenever Doesn’t Get Her Way

- Already Sharing Similar Interests & Being Open to Sharing New Ones Together

- Warm, Inviting Eyes

- Good Hygiene

- A Caressable Behind

- Dark Hair

initial attraction

November 3rd, 2011
8:56 am

Beautiful Legs are amazing.

Adam Lambert

November 3rd, 2011
9:01 am

Augusta, babe, I gots to tell you like it is:

You are too perfect. And you think you know it all.

“Obviously,” you say, you have done fine by yourself?
So what happened to the baby-daddy? Unless he has died, it was YOU who picked this joker to bed with and have a child by.

My guess is that you treat men like children and talk to them like a child, especially if they don’t have it all together (or so you think) like yourself.

I come across women like you ALl the time. They make me sick!

You are alone because of YOU, and nobody else.
So sorry to come down hard on you. But you are being blind, like many women like you are prone to being.

A.L.

Expert Bachelor

November 3rd, 2011
9:06 am

Augusta,
I agree and I’m not really looking to get married.

Expert Bachelor

November 3rd, 2011
9:10 am

It’s call peaceful and relaxing Solitude,
when you want it, not Loneliness.

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
9:11 am

@Augusta ~ I think AL went a little far with it.. but there is one point I saw. I too can take care of myself if need be; in other words, when it comes down to surviving I will do what I have to do. However, I prefer to have a man in my life. You mentioned you want a companion, so you actually do need a man in your life in some sort of way maybe just not as the provider.

Expert Bachelor

November 3rd, 2011
9:12 am

I think Augusta is cool and honest.

Expert Bachelor

November 3rd, 2011
9:13 am

Only the Universe provides.

Expert Bachelor

November 3rd, 2011
9:15 am

Augusta needs a whirlwind romance.

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
9:17 am

JG – Um…those are some very specific traits…Sounds like things that happened in your past.

Captain America

November 3rd, 2011
9:18 am

thewindwhistler

November 3rd, 2011
9:18 am

MsMarriedUp

November 3rd, 2011
9:19 am

My husband told me it was my looks that attracted him. A little bit of disappointment for me since I was attracted to what I ‘felt’ like he had going inside… a deep concern for family, taking the lead, and doing just what came to be…

Claudine

November 3rd, 2011
9:20 am

Augusta, I’m in agreement with you.

Jeff

November 3rd, 2011
9:27 am

I can tell you, you either have “something” or you don’t. For me, it’s a combination. and it’s not a fixed list. It just has to be what works.

But I can tell you one thing. Passion. In every way.

mcgruff04

November 3rd, 2011
9:27 am

@Augusta – You being able to take care of yourself doesn’t scare men off. But you throwing that in a man’s face every chance you get will run amy man off.

Senior Lady

November 3rd, 2011
9:30 am

Augusta, you so eloquently stated what I’ve been saying for 15 years. My husband passed away, I am 60 years old and only want somebody nice to eat and maybe travel with sometimes. No luck. The single men I meet are so run down. Seems they are addicted to the television and just want a good meal. Guess it’s just gonna be me! Sure miss my honey!

atlnative

November 3rd, 2011
9:32 am

I’m attracted to intelligent,openminded,women with a great sense of humor.She can be 5-2,110 pounds,or 5-10 with curves.We will work it out.

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
9:33 am

Morning Entertaining Crowd!!!!! ;)

Augusta

November 3rd, 2011
9:34 am

Thanks for all the replies…..

First off – I’m not aggressive. I have taken care of myself. I have purchased two homes, raised a child, and sent her to college. And yes, the baby-daddy is dead, and that happened two years after we divorced.

I don’t treat men like children. I’m not a bitch. I’m a kind, generous person, who helps others.

I dont’ NEED a man in my life, I WANT a man in my life. Two totally different things…..

Again, I’m not a bitch. I’m not an aggressive person. I’m happy, comfortable, healthy, energetic, and LOVE to travel.

So there was really no need to get nasty. Oh, and I don’t have that “monthly visitor” anymore!!!! I don’t have any kids at home anymore…..It’s just me and the dog.

Ole Guy

November 3rd, 2011
9:36 am

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
9:38 am

Good morning.

Very glad to see kindness on the list.

@SlimNu ~ that’s why his moniker is Jaded Guy. He’s been reeling for some time now of that woman.

@JG ~ I hope time is helping you heal. Doesn’t matter how long it takes, just that it happens.

Chri

November 3rd, 2011
9:41 am

1. Confidence
2. Kindness
3. Attractiveness (eyes, body type, hair)
4. Intelligence
5. Smile

There, that’s my top five.

Anonymous

November 3rd, 2011
9:41 am

A heartbeat.

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
9:42 am

Well then Augusta, I think your problem is going to be finding a man who is as mature as you are. I agree that needing and wanting a man in your life are too different things, but most men want to feel needed in some way. They want to know they are giving you something of worth; at least the good ones do anyway.

disco

November 3rd, 2011
9:43 am

good morning.

dag. folks jumped on augusta. we have to acknowledge that there is a difference between a want and a need. wanting a man and needing a man are two different things. I once had a discussion on the topic at the bar with some random guy. I said to him at one point in the conversation that the only thing I needed a man for was to lift things that I couldn’t carry and I could always hire someone for that. he was like ouch. I understand that as a single woman those type comments aren’t wise. I also understand that at the core most men want to feel needed and that’s all well and good. still, I don’t want to go from being independent to becoming co-dependent. someone on here always uses the term balance. guess it’s all about finding the correct balance.

Filster

November 3rd, 2011
9:46 am

Ladies, one problem y’all face is that Atlanta seems to have somethin glike a 10 or 15:1 ratio of single women to single men, so the men get stupid, get a grandiose sense of self-importance thereby missing the chance to meet someone who, while maybe not so “perfect,” is still a fantastic companion. Augusta, I didn’t see verything that AL did, but I did get a little sense of defensiveness and maybe a bit of anger, not at men specifically, but just at how things are going in your life.
Might I suggest that if you see a man you’re interested in, make a little eye contact, a little smile, something to show us numbskull men that you’re interested in us. Believe it or not, a lot of us are pretty thick in that category. If he responds, well, see where it goes.

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
9:47 am

Morning
My list is a little different. #1 on my list is spirituality. #2 is intelligence (real intelligence, not these facades that many people have). #3 Easy to get along with and gets along well with others. #4 Goes after what she wants.

I intentionally didn’t put any physical traits on there. Physical attraction is what I notice before I ever utter a word to you…it gets my attention, but a physical attraction without the above qualities is a no-go for a long term relationship.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
9:47 am

Her intelligence, smile, sense of humor, and kindness. It’s not difficult to find a woman like this cause all women posesse it, some just don’t display it. I will be attracted to this type always even if she blows me off, I’ll just find another who wont.

Good Morning Bloggers:

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
9:47 am

@one ~ you are correct. Men love to feel they are “needed.” It motivates them in other areas of their lives. It makes the day a little brighter for him. Work is easier, dealing with people is easier, stress level can be diminished all due to the love of his woman. When a man knows his woman needs him and wants him he’s a little more at peace with himself which in turns makes his entire existence a little smoother. We all want to be needed and wanted by someone. A little mushy, but hopefully you get my point.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
9:48 am

Morning,

Ummm, wow…okay

Augusta, nothing wrong with your post. Had you not mentioned the baby’s father being dead troll folks assumed the negative, that somehow you ran him off treating him like a child…lol That’s what folks get for trying to get a read from a screen with absolutely nothing substantial to go on. Do you honey and what makes you happy :)

Nothing to add really, the list says it all…I guess

OUCH ! i bumped my head

November 3rd, 2011
9:50 am

Nice Butt & Pretty Leggs “Leggs”

Expert Bachelor

November 3rd, 2011
9:50 am

What is a man’s initial attraction to women
is the original question.

Great Question,
the intial attraction is to view attractiveness in action.

Exiled!

November 3rd, 2011
9:50 am

How old are u Augusta,u say the monthly visitor is gone. U mind a younger dude with a full deck groin?

In other news,America’s Most wanted is back

Yippeee

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
9:54 am

Exiled!

November 3rd, 2011
9:57 am

Ladies want to feel needed too. It’s not a one way street.

That’s why it’s called ‘relationship’ derived from ‘relate’

If u don’t need him and he does not need you,no need to be together

If u don’t ask me for anything and I don’t ask u for anything,no need to be together

If u are an Independent woman then stay Independent then

You don’t need a man

The same way an Independent man don’t need a woman

No sane human being is independent unless they live in the woods

Independent woman is a facade

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
9:58 am

Filster, I actually you said something in the top of your post. I didn’t sense anger in Augusta’s post but I can relate.

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
10:01 am

still, I don’t want to go from being independent to becoming co-dependent. someone on here always uses the term balance. guess it’s all about finding the correct balance.
disco The balance is found in the very co-dependence you are avoiding. The two of you have to do an honest self-assessment. If he has a strength you don’t have, then defer to his lead in situations that require that strength. He should also, likewise, acknowledge where he may be deficient and defer to your expertise. That’s what co-dependence means, and you don’t have to sacrifice your independence to accomplish it. In the ideal situation, the two of you create a synergy wherein your lives together are better than they would be individually.

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
10:02 am

@Leggs ~ that is what I learned early on about men. Certain traits are inbred in men to make them want to be providers, and the lawn masters of the home, and the Mr. Fix It in the house, ect. However, a lot of men are confused today because women’s roles have changed and evolved so much they just don’t know where they fit in. Even if you don’t need him, yet you love him, make him feel as though you need him. You have to give some of yourself if you expect someone to give themselves to you. You don’t have to go from being independent to co-dependent, just allow the man to do certain things for you that maybe you could “pay” another man to do (oil changes, plumbing, landscaping, whatever). It really does make a difference.

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
10:04 am

“If he has a strength you don’t have, then defer to his lead in situations that require that strength. He should also, likewise, acknowledge where he may be deficient and defer to your expertise. That’s what co-dependence means, and you don’t have to sacrifice your independence to accomplish it. In the ideal situation, the two of you create a synergy wherein your lives together are better than they would be individually.” BINGO!!!! That is the quote of the day!!

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
10:06 am

good post DreamsM I believe in balance in all situations……

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
10:06 am

@one ~ yes, it does. I learned early on as well that men loved to be needed.

@Ex ~ yes, it goes both ways.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
10:07 am

But, it can’t be a false “need.” Warmth and sincerity cannot be masked.

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
10:08 am

Warmth and sincerity cannot be masked. It sure can’t Leggs!

McDonough

November 3rd, 2011
10:08 am

I wish they could have held certain variables constant in that survey, like, age, marital status/divorced, etc. I feel confident that “body type” would score higher for me at an earlier age (and is still important) but those personality traits rate much, much higher in mid-life.

Augusta, try to find mixed group settings that allow you to socialize but that don’t put pressure on any one party.

been there

November 3rd, 2011
10:09 am

Chicken wings and a six pack weren’t mentioned in this article

disco

November 3rd, 2011
10:11 am

dreams – I understand your point and agree. I guess I was getting at those folks who act like they can’t do anything without their other half. those folks that get caught up and lost in relationships. the women who will sit in the dark because their man isn’t there to change a light bulb or the women who ride around with their check engine light on because they know he’ll fix whatever issue comes up. my point is that an individual should be whole, happy and healthy before entering a relationship and remain whole, happy and healthy after they get into it. if the relationship ends they should be able to maintain. my post earlier was using “need” in the most extreme senses of the word.

Pinky

November 3rd, 2011
10:11 am

Filster

November 3rd, 2011
9:46 am
“Ladies, one problem y’all face is that Atlanta seems to have somethin glike a 10 or 15:1 ratio of single women to single men,”

That Stat is So Misleading!!!

90 Percent of Single Women Already have kids by the time they are 21…I might sound selfish but I rather raise kids that are my own and not someone elses…Im not fond of the Baby daddy drama

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
10:15 am

90% before 21. Where you get that number from?

abc

November 3rd, 2011
10:16 am

While the lists look plausible enough, I don’t think it’s really something that could be all that qualified. Chemistry, I suppose — it’s either there or it isn’t.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

November 3rd, 2011
10:16 am

wow, Meeellloo going deep early in the morning.

@100 on that 9:57

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
10:17 am

Augusta:

I don’t get this shi, folks getting disturbed and frustrated by your opinion or how you live your life. Live and let live nothing they can say will make a difference in how you live. Folks should want to get their frustrations aired out from within themself before denouncing another.

Pinky

November 3rd, 2011
10:25 am

Leggs

“90% before 21. Where you get that number from?”

Women I know, Friends know, or women I meet in person, etc …

Being someone with no kids…Huge turnoff for women to be single with kids in their early 20’s and have no clue as to where their father is or dont care or both…

It must be a Law in GA for women to either have been married or, have kids by the time they are 21?

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
10:29 am

Good morning, Honey Loves……

It is a beautiful day in the neighborhood, yes?

@BF: It’s because the folks doing that don’t realize that when they point the finger at someone else, they’ve got three pointing right back at them! :)

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
10:29 am

You must know most of the women in existence (lol).

Baddabing

November 3rd, 2011
10:32 am

First and foremost, nothing beats a great pair of legs! I personally like smaller chested women with a more athletic look. Nothing wrong with a little cleave mind you but most mature women with big bazzungas tend to be big everywhere. Ditto on all the other qualities but we are talking about initial attraction here, aren’t we?

sfw

November 3rd, 2011
10:33 am

1. Honesty
2. Kind
3. Intelligence
4. Maturity
5. Body type
6. Eyes
7. Smile

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
10:36 am

Leggs – My original post regarding JG was eaten by the blog monster…let’s see if i can remember what I said…

I was stating that a person who is still holding on to past hurts, failures etc is prohibiting themselves from really moving forward. It’s no different than a dog tied up in the back yard. When a person walks by, the dog goes to barking and running. However, there is only so much slack in the rope before the dog gets yan ked the hell back.

Hooter man

November 3rd, 2011
10:38 am

Physically fit with fake hooters……sorry, just being honest….call me a pig, but it is what it is…..your husband’s/boyfriends will never admit to it, but………

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
10:39 am

Hey Light, Leggs, Celisea:

You lady’s are the kind a man should look forward to being with, you keep it real and that simplifies everything,

Pay Attention Ladies

November 3rd, 2011
10:41 am

A good cook is an understatement- but the meals should be prompt- dinner should be on the table when I get home from work. Also, she should be able to iron well and use just the right amount of starch on my shirts. And it wouldn’t hurt you to hit the gym a few times a week too. Geez.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
10:42 am

Ooops, a period goes at the end of everything not a coma.

Lee

November 3rd, 2011
10:45 am

Augusta, stop/don’t apologize. You are what you are? We can over look a good man because they don’t fit “our imagine” of what we want. I know of couples who married and they wasn’t each other type. Some worked out well other didn’t, but that’s life anyways. I keep my options open a good man come in all size, shape and colors. You just need to be able to walk through the door when it opens. I’m embarking on a relationship now and honestly speaking I’m terrified. The man has led a very varied life but, say he has changed. So, I won’t know the end results of this relationship until I get to the end. Stop listending to the spiteful nayer sayers because your time is at hand. Continue to careful, wise and loving.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
10:45 am

Awwww, BF, that was a sweet thing to say. :)

Pinky

November 3rd, 2011
10:47 am

Nothing Better Than a Chick who can Throw Down in The Kitchen and Kick it with the Crew watching Football…

Chicks who are Passionate abt football. Huge Turn On…

And Chicks who are intelligent with societial issues is a huge plus…

Kiss of a Rose

November 3rd, 2011
10:48 am

The truth, that list changes over time as man get mature. Woman have to look for man who are mature. Man are visual creature, but as we get older we ask the question “Can this woman create a happy home?”. It visual at first, but then it get a little deeper. As far as this economic goes, if a woman ready love a man, and ready seeks a companion she needs to let go her fears and find a man that is on her level spirtual, emotional, and lifestyle (do you like what he likes etc. football, hockey, basketball, movies, camping, and etc). Ruth in the good news found her man by being where he is motivated and committed to be or what he visually likes to be football games, camping, baseball games, art galleries, movies, and etc.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
10:49 am

Well said, SlimNu!

Thank you BF!

@Pinky ~ that’s a bold statement you’re making about women in their 20s not knowing who the baby daddy is. It happens, but it’s not a high percentage. Heck, you’re talking about the majority of the population. And, if your number is gauged from the people you know and talk to, maybe you need to talk to a different breed of woman….IJS.

disco

November 3rd, 2011
10:49 am

it was a very sweet thing to say. too bad I was omitted – ha ha – but it’s all good.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
10:50 am

@BF ~ you are funny.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
10:51 am

Morning All!

I attracted a great man. So I don’t care about what attracts the others. Funny, most of the things on the lists seem superficial. If this were a list about what attracted women, you men would be putting us down for being so shallow.

I hate it when they post the topic on the front page!

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
10:52 am

I don’t know what’s gotten into me but I was sort of feeling Exiles post about the Need a man/Want a man rants. I think folks are associating the term with NEEDING a man as displaying traits of weakness. To me, having a man or woman is basically putting a left glove with the right glove…sure you can get by in life without them but it definitely makes things more warm, cozy, and comfy ;-) :oops:

Chris

November 3rd, 2011
10:55 am

I pretty much agree with it. Kindness is top for me. A lot of other positive things flow from that. Kindness and a smile are very attractive. No one wants to be around mean, unkind, negative, selfish people. I think this shows again what many women “think” men are attracted to isn’t what we are but how many women actually LISTEN to men when we try and tell them what we like/want?

disco

November 3rd, 2011
10:55 am

slim nu – your “warm, comfy and cozy” made me think of frank mccourt (guy who wrote angela’s ashes). in one of his memoirs he wrote that his mother always stated that all she wanted was to live in peace, ease and comfort. poor dear. she surely wasn’t asking for much but sometimes that little bit can be really hard to come by.

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
10:55 am

Maybe I’m misunderstanding, but I don’t “need to feel needed”. You might not “need” me for anything, but you can still show appreciation for me. I don’t have some primal “need” to fix your brakes, but since you’re my lady and I care about you, I do feel an obligation to make your life easier where I can (hope you would do the same for me). To deny me that isn’t denying any “need” of mine…it’s really denying yourself the benefit of the affections being shown to you in the best way a man knows how…actions!

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
10:56 am

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
10:56 am

I also think that along with associating needing a significant other with being weak, as women we sometimes think that what a man wants is this independent woman who doesn’t need him for anything. I think when a man says they like independent women, they just mean someone who is independent in her thoughts and keeps it real even if that means disagreeing with him from time to time.

I would like to now why being a good cook was left off that list though! lol Seems odd.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
10:57 am

show appreciation for me / need to feel needed = same thing (to me).

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
10:59 am

@Pinky ~ “Nothing Better Than a Chick who can Throw Down in The Kitchen and Kick it with the Crew watching Football…Chicks who are Passionate abt football. Huge Turn On…And Chicks who are intelligent with societial issues is a huge plus…”

That is me right there to a T. However, I have had men say that women who like sports aren’t feminine enough for them. Huh? Say what? Uuuummm I am pretty sure most cheerleaders are into the sport they cheer for no? :-/

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
11:00 am

We all want to be appreciated…point blank period

Chris

November 3rd, 2011
11:01 am

I think “balance” in a sense is code for “I’m afraid to fully give myself to this relationship cause I’m scared I may be hurt or disappointed”. After seeing married people married for 35+ years there is a constancy and co-dependence that naturally occurs no matter what you do to try and stop it. You either love fully or you don’t. Don’t half-azz it. Far too many these days do that.

Pinky

November 3rd, 2011
11:06 am

oneofeach4me

Co-Sign…

Also on a Sidenote…Since I don’t listen to Rap anymore. A Chick that likes old Rap and R&B is a Huge turn on as well…

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
11:06 am

show appreciation for me / need to feel needed = same thing (to me).
Leggs I don’t see needing and appreciating as the same, but if you mean them to be the same, then I agree with the “need to feel needed” theme. ;-)

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
11:06 am

Point…blank….period! Get it, Got it, Good!

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
11:06 am

@Dreams ~ I am with Leggs there. I think you did misunderstand (easy to do through blog, text, messenger). If your lady, that you love and care about, was allowing someone else to take care of everything that you as the man are more knowledgeable in (your strength, her deficient) you wouldn’t feel unappreciated or a little invisible? I know being that I am a good cook, if my love was eating out at a restaurant every time he was hungry instead of coming home to eat, I would be a little offended. It’s that thing of “I don’t really need you, you are just here.” Know what I mean?

Peter

November 3rd, 2011
11:16 am

1. Kind hearted – a giver
2.Beautiful Eyes
3.Trustworthy in friendship and love
4.Curvy Body
5.Intelligent and growing in her respective craft
6. Beautiful lips/teeth

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
11:17 am

I shole got turned on when the beau came home after work, didn’t take off his uniform, didn’t take a minute to eat dinner and took my car to go put some air in the tires I surely had no problem showing my appreciation :shock: :oops: :lol:

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
11:18 am

Folks freak over the “need”, “independent” thing. It’s an appreciation thing, like Dreams said.

There are practical, everyday things that you could pay someone to do if you can’t. You can even pay for dates and sex. You don’t “need” a significant other to get those things if you have the money to pay for them. But if you have an SO that does provide any of those things, appreciation is what most desire.

The intagible things like love, respect, companionship, someone in your corner, friendship – these are the things one would “need” an SO for, in my opinion. One should not be afraid to admit they want and need these things.

A man should not be intimidated by a woman and feel she does not “need” him just because she is able to fix her own flat tire or paid someone else to do it. A woman should not feel a guy doesn’t “need” her because he can clean his home and cook better than she can, or pays someone to do it.

Men and women provide so much more to each other that you can’t put a pricetag on.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
11:19 am

Shet it up SlimNu! That was on point, I guess. :lol: :lol:

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
11:21 am

Men and women provide so much more to each other that you can’t put a pricetag on. BAM!!!

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
11:22 am

Slim – I shole agree with u! I am most appreciative of such manly gestures! :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
11:23 am

It’s that thing of “I don’t really need you, you are just here.” Know what I mean?
oneofeach4me But in my assessment, that’s a an appreciation issue, not a need issue. In your cooking scenario he’s not saying he doesn’t need your cooking, he’s saying he doesn’t appreciate it (which is probably even more offensive). Needing and appreciating are two different things. You can need someone, but not appreciate them. You can also appreciate someone, but not need them. I don’t need to be needed, but I do need to be appreciated. I don’t think it’s merely semantics. For example, suppose your husband didn’t have the means to eat out and he was clueless on his own in the kitchen (blasphemy lol), so he NEEDS your cooking to eat a good meal everyday. But he never says thanks for the meal, never tells you how good the food is, never says how much he looks forward to coming home to a good meal, just plops down and waits for you to bring him a plate, barely acknowledging you. See he needs you, but doesn’t appreciate you. Kids NEED their parents, but even a great kid probably doesn’t truly appreciate their parents until they get older.

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
11:28 am

Leggs – I’ll excuse myself off to the corner for the next 13.0074523 seconds lol

kimmie – I’m slapping myself on the hand for typing that. lolol

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
11:28 am

Folks freak over the “need”, “independent” thing. It’s an appreciation thing, like Dreams said.
See, kimmie I knew you would hold me down! I didn’t need you to do that, but I did appreciate it. haha How are you today?

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
11:28 am

Dreams – Man, you said a mouthful in that post. I dated a guy once that did not appreciate my cooking, which is an insult to a foodie like me. Never uttered one word of appreciation. It hurt my feelings.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
11:29 am

Men and women provide so much more to each other that you can’t put a pricetag on.

Worth repeating again!!

Slim, it’s examples like the one you gave, and the one SCool used yesterday about her always saying thank you for a meal out (even if it’s BK) and the dude always saying thank you to her for cooking that are really what it’s all about. Those gestures do far more than love poems and flowers to show me that you appreciate me and don’t take me for granted.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
11:30 am

Dreams – :lol: Doing pretty good today, though trying to get over this nagging headache. Another cup of coffee & I’ll be straight though! What about yourself?

disco

November 3rd, 2011
11:33 am

right now I “NEED” for it to be lunchtime. and after that I’m going to “NEED” for it to be quitting time.

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
11:33 am

ITL – Yeah, you’re absolutely right…we do the same thing. No matter how things are going, you should always try to keep that up. Just as much as we all want to feel appreciated, no one wants to feel taken for granted.

Augusta

November 3rd, 2011
11:40 am

@Dreams 10:55 post – A M E N!!!!

Oh and by the way, I can throw down in the kitchen, and kick it with the crew WATCHING THE FOOTBALL GAMES….I love Football.

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
11:41 am

@Dreams ~ okay see that makes sense; TOTAL sense to me. You have allowed me to see a different side to that. I guess I am associating appreciation with the need to be appreciated.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

November 3rd, 2011
11:44 am

I’m with Dreams,

I don’t ‘need’ to feel “needed.”

However, I think the construct is off (probably because it came from some female social gathering).

A man primal need – beyond Maslow’s – is to provide and protect his family, if that means getting the brakes done for the safety of everyone in the car, that’s what it means. For me to go get that work done, is not oout of some sense of feeling ‘needed’ I’m simply doing my job. A ‘thank you’ will suffice, and even if I don’t get it, I’m satisfied that I’ve fulfill my duty.

If she recognizes it before I do, and gets the repairs done – that’s fine, so long as it got done.

Again, being shown appreciation is different from feeling ‘needed’ at least IMO. I never heard a man complain about not being ‘needed’, but under-appreciated is a common refrain.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
11:44 am

I just read your comment, DreamsM and I like the way your said that. I see the difference and now have adjusted my thinking. Appreciation trumps need!

@kimmie ~ you are always on point.

newrandyt (no t-shirt day)

November 3rd, 2011
11:44 am

@ Leggs re: Men love to feel they are “needed.” It motivates them in other areas of their lives. It makes the day a little brighter for him. Work is easier, dealing with people is easier, stress level can be diminished all due to the love of his woman. When a man knows his woman needs him and wants him he’s a little more at peace with himself which in turns makes his entire existence a little smoother. We all want to be needed and wanted by someone. A little mushy, but hopefully you get my point.

EXACTLY!!!

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
11:45 am

“I never heard a man complain about not being ‘needed’,”

I have and was thinking of him when I posted.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
11:47 am

Dreams – Also, what I pick up from your posts is that you are a secure, confident man. I know todays topic is about what men find attractive, but that would be at the top of my list on what would attract me to a man. That was what attracted me to my husband. He is not threatened by a confident woman, in fact he finds that attractive. The “helpless female” routine would definitely not work with him. But I let him know I appreciate every thing he does for me.

SCool – What you said about thanking and showing appreciation between you & Dude – I think that is beautiful. Brought memories of my parents.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
11:47 am

Speaking of being needed, Randy, how did the rescue mission go yesterday? :)

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
11:48 am

@Leggs ~ I have also. And it came at at time when he was laid off, out of work, and probably felt a little lost.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
11:48 am

@no tee-shirt guy :wink: ~ thanks for the endorsement. Although the words are not interchangeable, I stand by that post.

newrandyt (no t-shirt day)

November 3rd, 2011
11:50 am

men are, by design, fixers. Being needed is very important, being wanted is even more important. It just isn’t something a man will readily admit to…but it is there in most men. Re being “wanted” I read once that many men would rather trim hedges in a freezing rain with a paair of toenail clippers than to make love with a women who doesn’t want him. I’m that way.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
11:51 am

@Leggs: Me, too. If I remember correctly, it was something to the effect of “You have your own home, a good job; whatever you want you get for yourself. What do you need a man for?” When I realized he was serious and just didn’t get it, I knew it was time to move on.

newrandyt (no t-shirt day)

November 3rd, 2011
11:54 am

@ ITL…re the rescue mission. Get this. As my daughter is directing me to her friend’s house, I am getting more and more uncomfortable with the proximity falling near the lady’s house I just broke up with. Turned out it was in the same subdivision and I had to drive right by her house. She had company. Oh well. Then today the lady texts me to say hi. WWWEEEIIIRRRDDDD.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
11:54 am

I’ve heard some dudes sit back and see a woman they don’t even know, but see that has it together and say “she doesn’t need a man”. That always makes me feel a little sad. We all need each other.

mark

November 3rd, 2011
11:56 am

i look for a woman that can keep a good home. and that can cook. small traits like that are a lost art among these new age sistas who only want to go school and get jobs and there is nothing wrong with that. just remeber to not lose your homemaking skills because if you cant cook or keep a man you will never get a HUSBAND.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
11:56 am

Indeed, Ms. Kimmie, indeed.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
11:57 am

@Randy – Rut ro. :shock: Do you think she saw you driving by?? Please tell me you didn’t slow down and rubberneck…… :lol:

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
11:58 am

Well, since we are on the topic of “need”, I be NEEDING to have won the damn lotto last night. I think blogging would be way more fun if I was doing it from my own G6 on my way to some tropical island lol

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
11:59 am

mark – I’ve seen PLENTY of women that can’t boil water or don’t know what a broom looks like with HUSBANDS that worship the ground they walk on.

It’s about so much more than that!!

newrandyt (no t-shirt day)

November 3rd, 2011
11:59 am

i came to this party late today, but for me, I don’t care about a woman doing my coking or laundry…that’s 1950’s stuff…not essential. Wanting ME is essential, a good heart and not self-absorbed is essential, (and a pretty face…can’t handle the thought of sittting across from an ugly woman for years).

disco

November 3rd, 2011
12:00 pm

where I come from need was one of the fighting words. i.e. “what you need to do is”… that was a quick way to get something started.

abc

November 3rd, 2011
12:00 pm

I know I’m wanted and needed emotionally, I don’t need to be told about it all the time, but it’s nice to hear. I know I’m needed for all kinds of practical matters, it’s nice to hear ‘thank you’ but not a requirement. Folks who think they don’t need (especially) the intangible things that such needs and wants bring surely will never know what they’re missing.

men lie, women lie

November 3rd, 2011
12:00 pm

Adam Lambert

November 3rd, 2011
9:01 am
Augusta, babe, I gots to tell you like it is:

You are too perfect. And you think you know it all.

“Obviously,” you say, you have done fine by yourself?
So what happened to the baby-daddy? Unless he has died, it was YOU who picked this joker to bed with and have a child by.

My guess is that you treat men like children and talk to them like a child, especially if they don’t have it all together (or so you think) like yourself.

I come across women like you ALl the time. They make me sick!

You are alone because of YOU, and nobody else.
So sorry to come down hard on you. But you are being blind, like many women like you are prone to being.

A.L.

THE TRUTH…. I stop seeing a female because she feels she is perfect, and is looking for a flawless man, while me on the other hand would be straight with a female just giving the relationship an honest try, she is so lonely she went from fine to fat like going 0 to 60.

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
12:01 pm

It hurt my feelings.
kimmie Shame on him! lol I’m sure you don’t have that issue anymore. I hope you get around that headache soon.

newrandyt (no t-shirt day)

November 3rd, 2011
12:01 pm

cooking, not coking sorry

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
12:02 pm

That is weird, newrandyt! She probably sensed you threw out all those t-shirts and want to try again. Also, whoever her company was paled in comparison to you!

For Real

November 3rd, 2011
12:02 pm

What up Blog Fam!!

On topic: My first choice in attributes for a lady is confidence and I am not talking about those independer that think it’s a major award for taking care of themselves either.

DM: You on point about that whole “need” thing. Appreciation! Let say it again Appreciation!!!
We learn from childhood how important it is but somewhere along the road to being an adult it gets lost.

For Real now camel walking out the blog.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
12:03 pm

LOL@Slim. Me, too! I told my co-worker yesterday that if I called in today and she heard steel drums in the background, she’d know I had won. :lol:

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
12:06 pm

cooking, not coking

Yeah, that would be a whole ‘nother topic!! :lol: :lol:

newrandyt (no t-shirt day)

November 3rd, 2011
12:06 pm

@ ITL, uh yeah it would LOL.

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
12:08 pm

ITL – Steel drums shole would be music to my ears right now with a tropical drink in hand and some shrimp cocktail.

abc

November 3rd, 2011
12:10 pm

Augusta, I think that once you reach a certain age, the availability of similarly mature (i.e. close to the same age) possibilities diminishes. That’s because once one is in enough relationships, one naturally gravitates toward a preference for a lifestyle that embraces a solitary home life.

Me personally, if not for my girl, I wouldn’t even consider dating or hanging out with chicks in pretty much any capacity. Just plain not interested. I think a lot of mature men are like that — been there done that and would just as soon not have to deal with it anymore.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
12:11 pm

I’ll co-sign that, Slim, with or without the optional cabana boy. I kid, I kid!!! :lol:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
12:13 pm

If a man isn’t needed/appreciated I believe a confident woman will tell him so. We Need someone whether it’s a relative, friend, or spouse. Do you need your spouse more than you appreciate them, they go hand in hand. Folks can separate them if they want, what I think is they are tied together for a common cause. A need is immediate, appreciation is an afterthought.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
12:15 pm

@abc ~ if not for your wife, you would prefer not to hang or even date. No disrespect meant, but would you stop having sex? And, if you answer is no, how would you get it??

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
12:16 pm

“Do you need your spouse more than you appreciate them, they go hand in hand” – Excellent observation, BF

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
12:22 pm

ITL: Even though once I threw some oil on the beau he could be my cabana boy, I would not be opposed to some random eye candy to serve my drinks. I wouldn’t even be selfish either. He could have some limited eye candy to slide him a drink down the bar as long as she didn’t make any eye contact with him. (can’t have them doing too much interacting – afterall, this is MY fantasy) :lol:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
12:27 pm

Leggs:
I see it this way, if I appreciate somebody I’m saying I like what you did for or to me. If I need somebody the beats in my heart would flutter if something happened to that person. Yeah I want to be needed in a constructive way, appreciating me is flattering but not neccessary.

abc

November 3rd, 2011
12:27 pm

Tough call, Leggs. I figure this, though: if someone is 40-something or 50-something or more, and single, it’s most likely due to being a widow/widower or divorce (ergo, failed relationship(s)). This thing has only ever been a completely happy experience with this girl. For sure, one needn’t have sex to be happy. Would I miss it enough to go seek it out sans relationship? Well, I don’t know, I’d hope so though.

abc

November 3rd, 2011
12:30 pm

That is to say: I’d hope I’d be fine with just going without.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
12:32 pm

Thanks for answering, abc. I figured you would have to interact with someone on some level, even if you had to feign a dating relationship. The only person that would come to the house strictly for sex is a call girl or a strict booty call chick (FWB).

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
12:32 pm

@BF ~ “A need is immediate, appreciation is an afterthought.” I think that is what I was attempting to say earlier… it just didn’t quite translate that way!! VERY nicely put.

Mike P

November 3rd, 2011
12:33 pm

Good Morning good Blog Folk!
Here’s my list:

Initial attraction:
1. General body type/fitness.
2. The Face (eyes, lips, and teeth) – show that smile!
3. Sexual Chemistry, playfulness.
4. Kindness, respectful, passionate, and enthusiastic
5. Humor (She has and/or gets my sense of humor)

To Keep me (add the following);
6. Femininity and overall submissiveness (a strength)
7. Decent homemaking skills
8. Family priority oriented

Independent women need not apply; If you don’t need me, I don’t need you!

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
12:39 pm

Afternoon, Blogville.

With regard to the whole “independent woman” and intimidated men thread, I think Me.lo actually nailed it (and I immediately regret that choice of words in reference to Me.lo). :lol: Everybody — men and women — want to feel needed (or at least wanted). Sometimes when folks fly the “independent” flag too proudly, it gives the distinct impression that a companion is neither needed nor wanted.

abc

November 3rd, 2011
12:40 pm

There’s that pesky fornication as sin thing, too, Leggs. Been there done that too, of course. Is it really worth the hassle of having to get her back out of the house? For me, not so much. Ain’t hangin with hookers under any circumstances, FWB would still be dealing with ish.

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
12:42 pm

And that’s not to suggest that folks wanting a relationship need project neediness or incompetence. Just that one needn’t proclaim one’s own independence. It’s generally pretty clear whether one’s sh!t is in order without announcing such at every turn.

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
12:47 pm

yep swiss agree

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
12:50 pm

Hey there, Lady — How you doin’…?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
12:51 pm

This is how Main Ingrediants, James Taylor and many more put it. Not saying what they say is the authority.

I’d rather be loved, and needed
Depended on to give the love I can’t give
When you’re gone, when you’re gone
I just don’t want to be lonely (Just don’t want to be lonely)

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
12:52 pm

I am OK…….. ;)

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
12:54 pm

Exactly, abc. If not involved with someone why throw your seed all around. I gotcha.

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
12:55 pm

Lady:-) Good to hear… Hey, I don’t know if you were still around to hear this the other day, but I wanted to let you know that your SC State t-shirt is being put to good use by Mrs. Swiss. (She frequently wears it — and nothing else — to bed. Which also means that I’ve become conditioned to sprout wood every time I see that SC State logo. Go Dogs, indeed!) :lol:

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
12:57 pm

Love that song, BF!

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
1:01 pm

LOL you so silly swiss!!!!!!!!! them damn Dogs!!!!!!! Roof! glad y’all enjoying the SC State Bulldog! ;)

GracieL

November 3rd, 2011
1:02 pm

i’m swiss: “Just that one needn’t proclaim one’s own independence. It’s generally pretty clear whether one’s sh!t is in order without announcing such at every turn.”

I agree. Both sides do that. Because I’m in the forty-ish demographic, I tend to meet men fresh off divorces. They like to go on and on about how GREAT their lives are now (that they’re free), career, friends, travel, good times, yadda yadda, and brag how much they LUV their independence. Also, the bitter ones will proclaim they’ll never fall in love or be so stupid as to marry again. And I’m thinking, “Uhhh… okay then! What would you possibly need ME for, then?” I’m not interested in being just another bottle of wine in a successful man’s well-stocked rack. It’s a turnoff in both directions.

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
1:14 pm

Gracie — Yup. People in general just don’t think enough about the vibes they are projecting with these types of proclamations.

Willie Dynamite

November 3rd, 2011
1:27 pm

Afternoon All,

Decent list, I know my list would have reflected most of that and the order changed as i grew as well.

DreamsMat – excellent breakdown. I agree, I dont want her to need me. I need her to want me.

cba

November 3rd, 2011
1:28 pm

appreciation vs needed: I appreciate that my wife is faithful and I need her to be faithful. I appreciate that she takes care of 95% of the inside house chores. I appreciate and need her to be a good mother to our child. About 12 years ago, I had a seizure at night, in my sleep, I NEEDED HER, when my mother took her last breath, I appreciated and needed her to be there.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
1:29 pm

@WillieD ~ if you slice it that way, the need is still there.

men lie, women lie

November 3rd, 2011
1:40 pm

@ CBA I agree with you,I lost my mother a few years back and needed that type of support at the time, but the lady I was with didn’t feel the need to be that support, that really hurt because I know for a fact if the shoes were on the other foot I was have busted my a$$ to hold her down,

men lie, women lie

November 3rd, 2011
1:45 pm

but on the real I NEED it to be five o’clock so I can APPRECIATE my bed

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
1:51 pm

How does someone that’s dating not support their partner in such a dire time of need????

cba

November 3rd, 2011
1:52 pm

sorry MLWL you didn’t get her support, for me, those are the moments being married or in serious relationship really provide dividends. Unfortunately, a couple of years later, I was the one needed when my MIL passed.

Willie Dynamite

November 3rd, 2011
1:54 pm

MLWL – dayum, I guess she really didn’t like your Mom.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
1:54 pm

cba/mlwl – That’s when you find out if a person really means you any good – how they handle a crisis like a death or illness. If you’re no good to me during that time, even if it’s just a shoulder to cry on, I can see where I really don’t “need” you.

GracieL – I agree.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
1:55 pm

Leggs – You’d be surprised. :(

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 3rd, 2011
1:58 pm

Afternoon All, hope everyone is well in Blogsville!

let me speed read to try and catch up…….

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
1:59 pm

Leggs – It was one of those “look good together on paper” situations with me & a dude. When I broke it off with him, I got the “how could she give up such a good man and she’s gon end up by herself” mess from all those on the outside looking in. But he was not there for me at a very VITAL time. Thought that would get in the way of his social life. Had to kick that to the curb & thankful God showed me what he was all about.

cba

November 3rd, 2011
2:00 pm

Yep Kimmie, it’s the dark days that put a marriage/relationship to the real test.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
2:01 pm

@kimmie ~ that’s being selfish. Death makes me uncomfortable (something I’m working on), but my partner at that time would have my support. I realize some people don’t know what to say, but that applies to acquaintenances and co-workers. The person you’re sleeping with should be in your corner. If they’re not find someone else to occupy that corner and quickly kick them to the curb.

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
2:03 pm

cba good read about the dark days…….that is comforting!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
2:07 pm

cba:

Great your wife was there when YOU NEEDED her. And you were there when SHE NEEDED you. That’s appreciation for each other, that’s nice.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
2:08 pm

Leggs – That is one of those situations nobody is too “independent” to “need”. People handle illness and death differently and in their own way. I knew a guy that just came and got me out of the house to take my mind off things when my dad died. He said he couldn’t deal with funerals well, but he took me out whereever I wanted to go to lift my spirits. I appreciated that.

cba

November 3rd, 2011
2:09 pm

Lady, I didn’t get a chance to comment about your situation yesterday. All I would say is, take your time because there seems to be a few variables involved. Regardless, I wish the best for you and your daughter. I am very partial to daughters :-)

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
2:11 pm

GracieL – I feel sorry for guys like you described in your post. They are usually hurting.

GracieL

November 3rd, 2011
2:11 pm

kimmie: “When I broke it off with him, I got the “how could she give up such a good man and she’s gon end up by herself” mess from all those on the outside looking in.”

I HATE THAT! Especially at the holidays. What? They’re coming up again? Dang.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
2:13 pm

“I am very partial to daughters”
cba me too and I don’t have a daughter anymore. I wish I did though.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
2:14 pm

Illness and death is a time to comfort not hide having your mate grieve alone. If that’s the case, they’re not your mate.

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
2:14 pm

you are so right CBA and we are on the same page………I am taking it slow….I promise I am not pressed for the paper resume that looks great……it is more to it and what is for me and lil lady @ the end of the day will be………..thanks for understanding me! ;)

cba

November 3rd, 2011
2:14 pm

BF, under one of my wife’s pic on my FB, I wrote, ” I did good”. Not in an arrognant way but yeah, not to dam bad. One of my friends said, yes you did :-)

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
2:16 pm

Peeking in….

No particular topic I see :)

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
2:17 pm

That’s a nice endorsement, cba.

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
2:18 pm

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
2:19 pm

Hey there Lady…see you’ve been popping in lately…stick around

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
2:19 pm

We are now talking Diversity and Inclusion on our conference

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
2:21 pm

Yep loving it too……MIA always ROCKS! Thanks sis!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
2:23 pm

LOL…..@ Celisea

I know about the talk going on in the conference rooms, it’s something about those rooms when walking in there I know it’s gonna be a fight to stay alert and woke.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

November 3rd, 2011
2:24 pm

No particular topic I see

No and I thought today’s blog topic would’ve garnered 7 or 8 pages by now…either way it’s nice to read good posts and I’m glad it hasn’t turned into a bashfest of either sex..

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
2:25 pm

diversity is blah C….I am taking a diversity class now and it is dry….with hot button topics……smh lol i think i am tired too though….I need a break but duty calls

cba

November 3rd, 2011
2:25 pm

Just a random As! thought…….I’m feeling aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiitle sympathy for Mr Cain.

For Real

November 3rd, 2011
2:27 pm

Let’s see what the happs are:

-“That is to say: I’d hope I’d be fine with just going without.” – New reality TV show, abc, a man his smoking jacket and tub of lotion.

-A new CD is out and it’s called “Blackfoote, Blackfoote Sangs” Now available at Fanga Hut!

“Which also means that I’ve become conditioned to sprout wood every time I see that SC State logo.”:
Me.LO.: Yo Swiss why don’t you fall thru and watch the game?
Swiss: Cool! I’ll bring the beer. Hey whose playing?
Me.LO: SC State!!

men lie, women lie: Dayum that’s cold. That’s all I got to say bout that.

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
2:28 pm

me too cba me too that brotha there smh……@ the end of the day he is a good guy….his delivery stinks IMHO but through and through he is an OK brotha….smh I pray his return to the private sector! that is all!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
2:28 pm

cba

November 3rd, 2011
2:33 pm

Being and ole country boy/man, all I can think of is, sausage grinder.

Exiled!

November 3rd, 2011
2:35 pm

At Herman ain’t undercover

Can’t say the same nor be sure about Mitt

Herman’s situation just reminds me:

I can’t run for Higher Office

Skeletons!

Exiled!

November 3rd, 2011
2:36 pm

At least Herman ain’t undercover

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 3rd, 2011
2:38 pm

Leggs – loving your 2:14, truer words have never been spoken. Being there is crucial in situations like that, stepping outside of ‘you’ for the person you love.

For Real – you are still crazy!! LOL!

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
2:38 pm

Since we’re a bit o/t…yall recall me saying I got a call from my exes good friend saying how he saw pics of me on my recent trip to TN and the ex was all hurt/sad/upset/bothered of seeing me with the new beau…Ok, so why yesterday did I get a text from exman of the piece of paper that i originally wrote my number down on TWELVE YEARS ago? :???:

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
2:38 pm

you right Exiled…….he just had to know it was coming smh……lol

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
2:40 pm

Blackfoote/Lady – I know right…lol Good thing we’re all virtual and sitting in conference rooms. Even though it’s all Telepresence or skype I would say, the camera is only on you if you talk…I got the room muted…lol

Me too Sassy – I thought after lunch I was going to come back and see pages and pages of stuff…lol

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
2:40 pm

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
2:40 pm

Slim – Can you block his number?

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
2:40 pm

What are you saying SlimNu?

Exiled!

November 3rd, 2011
2:42 pm

12 years old and he still got the paper?

Oghhh Slim!

that means he still got that old, brown ,smooth, bedroom wiping rag too!

:lol: :lol:

SexyCool

November 3rd, 2011
2:42 pm

That’s sweet and creepy all at the same time. (lol)

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
2:43 pm

Celisea – While dudes were wishing for pretty legs & smiles & stuff, they better hope they have someone to support them at a time of need, like if someone dies or takes seriously ill. All that cuteness flies out the window then!

That’s the latest discussion.

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
2:44 pm

I’ve attended funerals of people I didn’t even know to show support for people I only considered acquaintances. So, a dude/chick you’re seeing who won’t support you in bereavement is really letting you know what they think of you.

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
2:44 pm

“That’s sweet and creepy all at the same time.”

SexyC — He’s the Muammar Gaddhafi to Slim’s Condi Rice… :lol:

Exiled!

November 3rd, 2011
2:48 pm

U still lub that man Slim!(a part of u)

otherwise why the keeping in touch?

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
2:50 pm

Kimmie – You’re so right. I was reading the list and while I know some of that stuff is pertinent for some, having someone in your corner in the time of need don’t make the list until we’re facing situations. And a time of need ain’t limited to breavements and sickness.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
2:52 pm

Because it’s love washing and bathing a dude when he’s ill or can’t do it for himself..that takes love….lol

For Real

November 3rd, 2011
2:53 pm

For Real still has the fish bone that was choking Slim 12 years ago.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 3rd, 2011
2:54 pm

Co-signing your post Dreams!!

SlimNu – Im with SCool, that is creepy and sweet at the same time! WOW!! 12years!!

For Real

November 3rd, 2011
2:55 pm

“Because it’s love washing and bathing a dude when he’s ill or can’t do it for himself..that takes love” – For Real is now lying on his back waiting on Celisea to put baby power on him.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
2:56 pm

For Real – LOLOLOLOLOL….you are retarded!!

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
2:56 pm

For Real – Shomon baby, turn over

For Real

November 3rd, 2011
2:59 pm

“you are retarded!!” – I love you too.

For Real now handing Celisea the grease and that big black comb to grease his scap.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 3rd, 2011
2:59 pm

LMAO @ For Real!!! You are crazy man! !

Exiled!

November 3rd, 2011
3:02 pm

Slim had been weird today!

12:22pm

he could have some limited eye candy to slide him a drink down his bar as long as they didn’t make eye contact.

What do u make of that Swiss???

:lol:

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
3:02 pm

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:02 pm

Celisea now getting the telephone books for For Real to sit on while he sits on the floor getting his scalp greased. Celisea gonna do plaits corn rolls after she’s done greasing.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
3:04 pm

Celisea – Yeah, a lot want somebody to sign up to be ride or die, willing to change the Depends down the road, but can’t even get dating right.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:04 pm

For Real you ain’t fooling me, you mentioned Gun Club one day on here…I know you

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
3:04 pm

@Celisea ~ did he tell you where he kept this piece of paper with the number for the past 12 years. Given 8 years have gone by, nothing sweet, all the way creepy.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 3rd, 2011
3:05 pm

Celisea – LOL!!! Ok you went way back with the phone books and corn rolls!! :smile:

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:05 pm

Kimmie – They want the SEXY ride or die chick…lol

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
3:06 pm

kimmie – I don’t believe there is a way to block a cell phone.

Leggs – I just thought it was mighty strange that he still had that. I know that we used to have a box of things we did, momentos such as movie tickets, pictures of places we had been. So he told me he was cleaning and boxing some things up —-> ‘things’ being US. Apparently, he had pics and stuff of us still up around his house. So when he saw me and the new beau on fb pics, I guess he lost the thinking that he could mess around all this time and basically pick things back up with me when he got it ‘out of his system’.

For Real – You are so crazy!!! :lol:

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:07 pm

Leggs – That was Slim getting hit up by a dude from 12 years ago :)

Mo – I did didn’t I??? LOLOLOL I use to scratch my brothers scalp (and grease and “plait”) for a couple of dollars when I was about 7/8 ish

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
3:07 pm

“What do u make of that Swiss???”

Me.lo — Well, I think it’s clear that Slim is crying out for an orgy. :lol:

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:07 pm

brothers’ scalps…I had 3 that would pay me to do it for them.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 3rd, 2011
3:08 pm

Celisea – I swear those phone books were the devil!! You couldnt get comfortable for nothin!! And I think it was protocol for the BRAIDER to snatch the head of the BRAIDEE! :smile: Hilarious!!

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
3:09 pm

Wow. I can say orgy, but I can’t say that participating in an orgy might be bad for your “repu.tation.” This stupid f@#king filter… :lol:

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:09 pm

Mo – LOLOLOLOL…If it wasn’t phone books it was anything that you could sit on and didn’t fall through…all while watch Soul Train :)

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:10 pm

The Sooooooooooooooooooooul Train..”people all over the world”

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
3:12 pm

Exiled – I would lie to say I didn’t care about the ex but I have no desire to be with him. I gave him 8+ years and that’s been capped out. No need to waste another 8 years to be in the same place we were 12 years ago. I am happy where I am and sending me a pic of my phone number is not raising any desire to get back with him. Me moving on is just going to be something he’ll have to find a way to deal with. I wish him well.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
3:12 pm

Can’t figure out what word the blog doesn’t like.

@Celisea ~ yes, I realized my mistake.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
3:13 pm

It is strange he still had it…what’s even stranger is after all this time he still has pics and stuff of you two around the house. Took him seeing you with another to box things up.

@Ex ~ women aren’t the only one to sit in the corner and pine over someone.

I need a ma*ssage. My shoulders are tight, taunt and tensed. Anyone ever had an on-site ma*sseuse come to their home. A co-worker gave me the number of a repu*table one, but I don’t know who I won’t trust more, him or me (LOL)….

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
3:14 pm

swiss – No want for an orgy over here…and most regular dudes feel anything more than one wang in an equation is a NO GO :lol:

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
3:14 pm

Ok, the blog doesn’t like “repu*table….go freaking figure…

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
3:16 pm

He may not even be pining, just sitting over there plotting to see if he can get to her and make her weak at the knees…

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
3:17 pm

Leggs – I think that him having pics up of me was just a ploy for the chicks he deals with to see he’s not looking to get serious with them, only to get Busy with them. lol (and I’m not even kidding) Plus I could never understand why a chick would mess with a dude who had pics of some random chick around his house…

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
3:18 pm

Either reason, SlimNu, would have me leaving.

men lie, women lie

November 3rd, 2011
3:19 pm

my bad was working a lil, but I APPRECIATE everyone on this blog ya’ll keep it 100 and thats what’s NEEDED, thanks

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 3rd, 2011
3:21 pm

Celisea – yeah had to have something entertaining to watch, braiding takes too long!!

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:21 pm

Yes yes MLWL, if you’re looking for honesty and keeping it 100, you’re in the right place…lol

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
3:21 pm

Slim – Oh. Now THAT would be a technological breakthru with cell phones if you could!LOL!!

That is creepy though, the pic he sent.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:23 pm

Mo – Exactly…no such thing as going to the shop and having it done. You got braids done at home. My kid hair was almost to her waist before her perm and I use to braid her hair. Folks would as if a shop did it. Ut uh, I got the phone book (or in her case, the chair to her table and chairs…tea time), put in a movie and braided away…lol

For Real

November 3rd, 2011
3:23 pm

1. A pic of Slim

2. Quite secluded place

3. Freshly washed towel

17 seconds of bliss!!!

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
3:25 pm

I am struggling, really struggling to stay awake. The heater under my desk isn’t helping matters.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
3:32 pm

Leggs, you’ve made it too cozy to work!

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
3:33 pm

Foe Real – i’m not sure I could handle 17 seconds of anything with you. I’d probably wake up hanging upside down in a tree with 12 bangles around my ankles, a banana peel in my pocket and a melted snickers bar stuck to my back.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
3:33 pm

I suppose so, kimmie.

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
3:35 pm

Slim — I’m pretty sure that mental image you just provided is all For Real needs to achieve his 17 seconds of bliss. Or at least, that’s all I needed… Thanks, BTW… :lol:

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
3:35 pm

Slim, you bout as funny as 4 Real! :lol:

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
3:36 pm

kimmie/Leggs – Plus the clouds have rolled in and it’s making it feel like I should be at home on the couch under a blanket dozing off. Only 85 minutes to go till quitting time

For Real

November 3rd, 2011
3:36 pm

Slim: But you will feel wonderful and you will not be pregnant. Sticky, dazed,confused and wondering if God will forgive you? Yes! Pregnant? No!

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:42 pm

Not bangles, banana peel and a melted snickers…LOL Oh and 17 seconds.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
3:42 pm

LOL@Slim. My co-workers are looking at me like, “What the french is so funny over there?!?”

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
3:42 pm

For Real – Silly, you know I know I wouldn’t end up pregnant. You must’ve forgotten that I lost my ovaries in the truth or dare game with you that included a unicycle and a shake weight a few years back.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:43 pm

Okay on this call….why are folks so quick to want to “escalate” on other folks. That mess is just wrong. Everybody tryna sell their own self all the while selling out others. Dang shame.

Sorry, just heard some of these biddies tryna sell their own product

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
3:44 pm

swiss – Would you like to clean up with the 12year old rag? It maybe a little stiff but it’s nothing a little dab of water couldn’t cure

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

November 3rd, 2011
3:45 pm

That is creepy though, the pic he sent

Yeah that’s kinda cute but more on the creepy side since he sent a pic… Just hope he wasn’t playing Breathe Again in the background.

Side note: Vivica might have to pull a Halle and find her a stud for a baby daddy since her and her boy candy Slim broke up….

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:46 pm

Heard that this morning…about Vivica. She’s had too much plastic surgery (that was just a side note I threw up in my comment) :)

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
3:47 pm

Swiss – the rag will be easy to find; it’s the one standing in the corner staring at you. :shock:

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
3:48 pm

No, thank you, Slim, that won’t be necessary. I always carry my own. You never know when the urge may strike. :lol:

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
3:49 pm

ITL :lol:

swiss – You carry your own stiff towel? :lol:

Exiled!

November 3rd, 2011
3:50 pm

Slim?

Ur attempt to explain why u don’t want him but still caring for him is the reason why most savvy men don’t close deals with exes.

U such caring species!

O/T

a day like today,weatherwise, is when a single and Independent chic tosses that rabbit away in frustrastion coz it just can’t give her that warm coziness in the covers she needs.

Ogh well!

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
3:50 pm

swiss – You carry your own stiff towel?

Looks like a flying carpet…

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:52 pm

a day like today, weatherwise…….tosses that rabbit away in frustrastion

What does this mean? Just screw cause it’s cold or raining?

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
3:53 pm

Slim — Indeeeeeeeed…. :lol:

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
3:55 pm

ITL – With the weight of that thang, i’m not it would get off the ground that easily….sinking submarine may be more appropriate lol

Exiled – Care as in I don’t wish any ill will on him but not care as in, I wanna jump your bones because you sending me that 12yr old number has turned me on And creeped me out all at the same time

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
3:56 pm

What’s wrong, Ex…you whimpering because you won’t be called on from one of those single independent chicks. Sure, Queen is your rock, but you shouldn’t even be thinking about this whether an independent single chicks (lol)…

@Celisea ~ EXACTLY. Just throw caution to the wind because this is sleeping weather….yeah right.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
3:57 pm

Sassy/Celisea – I think V is still in love with 50 cent.

Yeah, crazy I know.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:58 pm

Leggs – And good sleeping weather means GOOD SLEEPING WEATHER…lol Mmeelloo is warped in his thinking…lol

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
3:59 pm

Kimmie – I agree. That’s that young (for her) thug love that got next to her. Can’t shake it.

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
4:00 pm

swiss – For whatever reason, I just pictured you saying Indeeeeed with your pinky up to the corner of your mouth like Austin Powers. The only difference is, instead of a Mini Me next to you, your stiff towel shares the seat beside you.

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
4:02 pm

Slim — Are you spying on me?

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

November 3rd, 2011
4:03 pm

I think V is still in love with 50 cent.

uhh huh…him and that good ole ghetto D ;-)

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

November 3rd, 2011
4:04 pm

you whimpering because you won’t be called on from one of those single independent chicks.

:lol:

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
4:05 pm

swiss – Yeah, I drilled a peephole in your rag.

Any of yall been to the restaurant Wild Fire out in the Perimeter area?

men lie, women lie

November 3rd, 2011
4:08 pm

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
3:50 pm
swiss – You carry your own stiff towel?

Looks like a flying carpet…

LOL like the one in Aladdin

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
4:10 pm

“Yeah, I drilled a peephole in your rag”

Slim — I believe the correct term is “glory hole” :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
4:13 pm

Any of yall been to the restaurant Wild Fire out in the Perimeter area?
Slim I’ve been there.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
4:15 pm

Dreams – What’s up?

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:16 pm

@DreamsM – that is funny. Pretty sure she wanted a little more feedback that that. :lol:

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:17 pm

But, you did answer the question.

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
4:18 pm

Celisea I’m good. How’s everything on your end? I see you been tied up in conference. Just got off one myself…excuses, a$$ covering, and getting thrown under the bus. All in a day’s work.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
4:19 pm

Dreams – We must be on the same call….lol I’m still on though

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
4:21 pm

Dreams did ya’ll have a visual? I don’t mean to be mean but I’ve been looking at the cleavages of 200/300 pound women for a couple days now. Oh and . That’s ain’t cute.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
4:21 pm

Any of you all watch Modern Family? I love that show, it is so funny!!

“I won the cutest baby contest at the 1974 state fair. I was told I could go Gerber!”

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
4:21 pm

Leggs – Good one…

Dreams – Soooo, tell me what you thought of it. I have not been there and my co-worker suggested that as a spot I take beau for his birthday. Your thoughts?

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
4:22 pm

Kimmie – I’ve watched for the last couple of weeks…good show

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:24 pm

I watched a few episodes only because my neighbor keeps calling me asking if I was watching. It’s her favorite, all time show.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
4:25 pm

Leggs – I started watching it because my coworkers talk about it EVERY WEEK

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:29 pm

Out of everything I watch, don’t need to add another weekly show to my lineup (lol).

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
4:34 pm

Leggs – If you ever want a good laugh, Modern Family & Parks and Rec will have you howling!!

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:34 pm

Beware: I signed up to become a Mystery Shopper. Received a call for training, but they want your debit card number to cover the registration fee of $2.95 for training. Told them to go find some other chump. Who the heck is trained for a few hours at a cost of $2.95.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:36 pm

@kimmie ~ I have laughed over the show. I liked the episode when the valet gave them the wrong car and they went to the owner’s home only to have his wife come and beat the isht out that car. When the camera showed the full car, I was crying….

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
4:37 pm

Modern Family was good Halloween week…LOLOLOLOL

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
4:38 pm

I watch it sometimes, Kimmie. Cam was cracking me up last night, trying to pick up women.

I have a friend who does Mystery Shopping in Savannah. I wish they’d sign me up to mystery shop a Midas; my brakes just started squealing and it is embarassing!!! I want to put a paper bag over it so no one knows it’s me coming through the parking deck. :oops:

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
4:39 pm

Leggs – I saw that episode too funny!!

I LOVE a good laugh!!!

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
4:40 pm

Slim I did respond to you, but the blog ate my first one, and I don’t know what it didn’t like…honest. ;-) Anyway, I had steak there, and it was pretty tasty, seasoned well and cooked exactly the way I asked them to cook it. The service was good, and the live jazz was a nice addition.

Celisea My call wasn’t a visual, thank goodness. Sorry you had to be subjected to that. lol

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
4:40 pm

Light – Cam is the funniest one on the show to me!!

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:41 pm

You want to put a paper bag of it or over YOU (LOL).

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

November 3rd, 2011
4:41 pm

O/T

Mr. Bermuda just called n said he’s making dinner at his place…and dude can cook. :mrgreen:

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
4:41 pm

Leggs — Yeah, the mystery would have been “where the f@#k did all my money go???” :lol:

disco

November 3rd, 2011
4:43 pm

am I the only one who thinks this is the longest day ever? if I wasn’t wearing a watch I’d think HR turned the clocks back.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
4:44 pm

Me too, Kimmie! When he was teaching the baby to clap whenever he said “adopted”….that was so funny, but so sweet.

Over the CAR, Leggs!! I’ve had it a couple of years, so even if I had a bag over my head the folks I work with still know whose car it is!! :lol:

Okaaaaaay, Sassy….I wanted to ask, but didn’t want to pry…..but since you bring it up….. ;)

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
4:44 pm

disco – u r not the only 1

SexyCool

November 3rd, 2011
4:44 pm

I really enjoy Modern Family, but like with many shows, I always forget it’s on.

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
4:45 pm

I want to put a paper bag over it so no one knows it’s me coming through the parking deck.
Yeah the acoustics in the parking deck just amplify the sound…not that I know this because I’ve been gawked at in the parking garage for having breaks that sound like a MARTA train coming to a stop. lol

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
4:45 pm

Sassy, gal I forgot about Mr. Bermunda. I ain’t asking or saying nothing. You just go on over and have at it dinner

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
4:46 pm

Dreams – Sounds good. I was thinking of trying that place or maybe Rays on the River. I have not been there either.

ITL – If you wear ear plugs, you won’t even notice the sound

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:46 pm

Oh snap, forgot to ask youl, SassyMe, how the ride home from the airport went?

@swiss ~ my exact sentiment.

@ITL ~ wasn’t sure if it was a typo.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
4:46 pm

Sassy – I want a full report tomorrow!

On the meal, that is, you know, me being a foodie & all!! :wink:

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

November 3rd, 2011
4:48 pm

Celisea…we’re gonna have dinner first and well…dessert’s on me (pun intended err which-a-way) :-)

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
4:48 pm

This day is dragging for everybody, it seems… I’ve been only semi-conscious all day. Flew to Ft. Lauderdale & back on Monday for a demo. Then off to L.A. Tuesday night for a 6-hour interview yesterday, then back into ATL last night & didn’t get to bed until about 3am. I need some crack.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
4:49 pm

You ain’t right Sassy…lol

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:49 pm

@ITL ~ see what I mean about the typos. Well, I have them everyday all day.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
4:50 pm

Mmmm, Rays on the River. Haven’t been there in awhile, but the last time I went I had the mussels. In a word – YUM!! Between the food and the live jazz…it was a nice date.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

November 3rd, 2011
4:51 pm

how the ride home from the airport went?

Well we swerved on the road a few times before we made it to my house :oops: Good thing my car has tinted windows…

I gotchu Kimmie…

Gotta to..read y’all tomorrow!!

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:52 pm

I need some crack.

I just bit my tongue!!

men lie, women lie

November 3rd, 2011
4:52 pm

@ Disco…I’m running for the gun line, wish me luck

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:53 pm

I know I shouldn’t say this, but that means you did your job well, SassyMe!!!

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
4:53 pm

Dreams – Sounds good. I was thinking of trying that place or maybe Rays on the River. I have not been there either.
Slim I personally don’t like Ray’s on the River. I’ve been a few times and had the same experience each time. I do like Legal’s Seafood though. Chops Lobster Bar in Buckhead is along the lines of Wildfire, and they’re pretty good. They slightly overcooked my steak once, but it was still very good. The scene makes for good conversation too, as there are lots of hot young chicks being wined and dined by these older wealthy guys. It’s pretty funny.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:55 pm

@DreamsM ~ and, Legal Seafood is much better than Oceanaire’s. Food wise, not necessarily ambiance.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
4:55 pm

I need some crack

Let me guess…cootiecat butt crack??

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
4:57 pm

Yeah, I’d put Legal’s at the top of the list for seafood in Atlanta. Like you said, there are better places for ambiance, but not for seafood IMO.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
4:57 pm

Okay that wasn’t lady like of me…I take back the cooticat butt crack
:(

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:57 pm

Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don’t increase you, will eventually decrease you. Consider this: Never receive counsel from unproductive people.

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
4:58 pm

Let me guess…cootiecat butt crack??
Celisea You so naaaaaaasty. you’re just mad about the crack you’ve been staring at all day. ;-) night ya’ll.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:58 pm

Someone just sent me that so I had to use it.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
4:59 pm

Good comeback, DreamsM…reall good!

men lie, women lie

November 3rd, 2011
5:00 pm

off topic but Check out this singer/rapper named Childess Gambino, dude used to write for 30 Rock but is nice with the music

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
5:00 pm

I gotta get out more. I haven’t been to Legal or Wild Fire. Heck, for that matter I still haven’t been to Bacchanalia. :(

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
5:03 pm

Good night! PEACE ~

Reio

November 3rd, 2011
5:03 pm

Jumping in a bit late today(medical stuff), but Intelligence and kindness has always been pretty much all I ever really cared about. If these two traits are present, I’m off to a good start, usually, with anyone.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
5:06 pm

Dreams – You so naaaaaaasty.

I apologized and took it back AND apologized….so no I’m not!

LOLOLOL

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
5:07 pm

Someone who isn’t empathetic is apathetic!

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
5:08 pm

That was for you Reio! Kindness is front and center.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
5:08 pm

Seeing “apathetic” reminds me of what someone said the other day. She said that many people think the opposite of love is hate, but the opposite of love is really indifference.

Interesting thought….

disco

November 3rd, 2011
5:10 pm

aww nawww. not running for the gun line. here I go “swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home”

disco

November 3rd, 2011
5:12 pm

leggs – that one sounds like a shorter version that I hear a lot. “if you aren’t adding or multiplying, you are subtracting or dividing”

SexyCool

November 3rd, 2011
5:13 pm

ITL – I used to say that on here all the time. (lol) There was somebody that used to be on here that would argue me down about the love/hate/indifference of it all.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
5:23 pm

I can see the validity of her point, SCool, especially if you approach it from the perspective that hate is as passionate as love, but indifference is a complete lack of love or hate.

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
5:28 pm

“I can see the validity of her point, SCool, especially if you approach it from the perspective that hate is as passionate as love, but indifference is a complete lack of love or hate”

ITL — That would seem to contradict the assertion. Love and hate are, as you say, both intense passions, but they are on opposite ends of the spectrum — one intensely positive the other intensely negative. Thus, they are opposites. Indifference, then, lies directly between the two opposites, being the complete lack of passion.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
5:30 pm

That is true, Swiss, if you are thinking of love and hate on a linear spectrum. But consider a circular scale (i.e. “there is a fine line between love and hate”)

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
5:34 pm

I think I need some weed to continue this discussion. :lol:

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
5:36 pm

[puff, puff] But what if the scale were a rhombus, dude?

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
5:47 pm

LOL@Smarta$$ Swiss. A rhombus! How about a parallelogram?

Seriously, though, what if the scale is circular??? 360 degrees (and not of Kevin Bacon). Ooooh, bacon…bet that gives you the munchies, huh? :lol:

Reio

November 3rd, 2011
5:53 pm

Any movement on a circular scale, in any direction, will send one away from, and towards, the starting point simultaneously. If that makes any sense.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
6:01 pm

It makes complete sense, Reio. I’m suggesting that love and hate are directly next to each other on the circular scale and movement away from one, takes you toward the other. But directly opposite (at 180, if you will) is indifference.

Reio

November 3rd, 2011
6:06 pm

So, on a 180 scale, indifference, is at the absolute middle?

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
6:09 pm

We may be pushing the limits of my mathematical skills. I’m suggesting that on a 360 scale, if 180 is opposite, then indifference is at 180 and love and hate are at 359 and 001, respectively. The 360 is the gray area, that “fine line between love and hate” you always hear about.

Into the Light

November 3rd, 2011
6:14 pm

A rhombus! How about a parallelogram?

See? Duh! Every rhombus is a parallelogram. That’s what I get for trying to be mathematically savvy and funny! :lol:

Into the Light

November 4th, 2011
8:24 am

(ITL sneaking in the back door, lighting a candle…..)

Hellur??????