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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

What really attracts a man?

There was a poll of about 20, 000 men to find out what they were attracted to. The results listed the top traits that most men put at the top for initial attraction:

1. Sexual chemistry
2. Smile
3. Kindness
4. Sense of humor
5. General body type
6. Eyes
7. Intelligence
8. Communication skills
9. Teeth/Lips
10. Hair

The list of traits that men are attracted to for “long term”:
1. Kindness
2. Sense of humor
3. Communication skills
4. Sexual prowess
5. Intelligence
6. Smile
7. Listening skills
8. Money/Wealth
9. General body type/fitness
10. Eyes

I have to admit, I expected body type to be at the very top but I am not surprised it’s listed in the top 10. Also, men are into eyes? Who knew! I believe that if women were polled, a lot of the same traits would be listed, but it is hard to predict how they would rank the traits.

Guys do you agree with the lists? Do you have others that should be placed on the list?

I think a lot of us are attracted to the same traits, but do we actually possess the traits we seek out? Do you think that what attracts you initially is similar to what you are attracted for the long term?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

367 comments Add your comment

abc

November 3rd, 2011
12:30 pm

That is to say: I’d hope I’d be fine with just going without.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
12:32 pm

Thanks for answering, abc. I figured you would have to interact with someone on some level, even if you had to feign a dating relationship. The only person that would come to the house strictly for sex is a call girl or a strict booty call chick (FWB).

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
12:32 pm

@BF ~ “A need is immediate, appreciation is an afterthought.” I think that is what I was attempting to say earlier… it just didn’t quite translate that way!! VERY nicely put.

Mike P

November 3rd, 2011
12:33 pm

Good Morning good Blog Folk!
Here’s my list:

Initial attraction:
1. General body type/fitness.
2. The Face (eyes, lips, and teeth) – show that smile!
3. Sexual Chemistry, playfulness.
4. Kindness, respectful, passionate, and enthusiastic
5. Humor (She has and/or gets my sense of humor)

To Keep me (add the following);
6. Femininity and overall submissiveness (a strength)
7. Decent homemaking skills
8. Family priority oriented

Independent women need not apply; If you don’t need me, I don’t need you!

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
12:39 pm

Afternoon, Blogville.

With regard to the whole “independent woman” and intimidated men thread, I think Me.lo actually nailed it (and I immediately regret that choice of words in reference to Me.lo). :lol: Everybody — men and women — want to feel needed (or at least wanted). Sometimes when folks fly the “independent” flag too proudly, it gives the distinct impression that a companion is neither needed nor wanted.

abc

November 3rd, 2011
12:40 pm

There’s that pesky fornication as sin thing, too, Leggs. Been there done that too, of course. Is it really worth the hassle of having to get her back out of the house? For me, not so much. Ain’t hangin with hookers under any circumstances, FWB would still be dealing with ish.

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
12:42 pm

And that’s not to suggest that folks wanting a relationship need project neediness or incompetence. Just that one needn’t proclaim one’s own independence. It’s generally pretty clear whether one’s sh!t is in order without announcing such at every turn.

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
12:47 pm

yep swiss agree

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
12:50 pm

Hey there, Lady — How you doin’…?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
12:51 pm

This is how Main Ingrediants, James Taylor and many more put it. Not saying what they say is the authority.

I’d rather be loved, and needed
Depended on to give the love I can’t give
When you’re gone, when you’re gone
I just don’t want to be lonely (Just don’t want to be lonely)

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
12:52 pm

I am OK…….. ;)

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
12:54 pm

Exactly, abc. If not involved with someone why throw your seed all around. I gotcha.

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
12:55 pm

Lady:-) Good to hear… Hey, I don’t know if you were still around to hear this the other day, but I wanted to let you know that your SC State t-shirt is being put to good use by Mrs. Swiss. (She frequently wears it — and nothing else — to bed. Which also means that I’ve become conditioned to sprout wood every time I see that SC State logo. Go Dogs, indeed!) :lol:

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
12:57 pm

Love that song, BF!

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
1:01 pm

LOL you so silly swiss!!!!!!!!! them damn Dogs!!!!!!! Roof! glad y’all enjoying the SC State Bulldog! ;)

GracieL

November 3rd, 2011
1:02 pm

i’m swiss: “Just that one needn’t proclaim one’s own independence. It’s generally pretty clear whether one’s sh!t is in order without announcing such at every turn.”

I agree. Both sides do that. Because I’m in the forty-ish demographic, I tend to meet men fresh off divorces. They like to go on and on about how GREAT their lives are now (that they’re free), career, friends, travel, good times, yadda yadda, and brag how much they LUV their independence. Also, the bitter ones will proclaim they’ll never fall in love or be so stupid as to marry again. And I’m thinking, “Uhhh… okay then! What would you possibly need ME for, then?” I’m not interested in being just another bottle of wine in a successful man’s well-stocked rack. It’s a turnoff in both directions.

i'm swiss™

November 3rd, 2011
1:14 pm

Gracie — Yup. People in general just don’t think enough about the vibes they are projecting with these types of proclamations.

Willie Dynamite

November 3rd, 2011
1:27 pm

Afternoon All,

Decent list, I know my list would have reflected most of that and the order changed as i grew as well.

DreamsMat – excellent breakdown. I agree, I dont want her to need me. I need her to want me.

cba

November 3rd, 2011
1:28 pm

appreciation vs needed: I appreciate that my wife is faithful and I need her to be faithful. I appreciate that she takes care of 95% of the inside house chores. I appreciate and need her to be a good mother to our child. About 12 years ago, I had a seizure at night, in my sleep, I NEEDED HER, when my mother took her last breath, I appreciated and needed her to be there.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
1:29 pm

@WillieD ~ if you slice it that way, the need is still there.

men lie, women lie

November 3rd, 2011
1:40 pm

@ CBA I agree with you,I lost my mother a few years back and needed that type of support at the time, but the lady I was with didn’t feel the need to be that support, that really hurt because I know for a fact if the shoes were on the other foot I was have busted my a$$ to hold her down,

men lie, women lie

November 3rd, 2011
1:45 pm

but on the real I NEED it to be five o’clock so I can APPRECIATE my bed

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
1:51 pm

How does someone that’s dating not support their partner in such a dire time of need????

cba

November 3rd, 2011
1:52 pm

sorry MLWL you didn’t get her support, for me, those are the moments being married or in serious relationship really provide dividends. Unfortunately, a couple of years later, I was the one needed when my MIL passed.

Willie Dynamite

November 3rd, 2011
1:54 pm

MLWL – dayum, I guess she really didn’t like your Mom.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
1:54 pm

cba/mlwl – That’s when you find out if a person really means you any good – how they handle a crisis like a death or illness. If you’re no good to me during that time, even if it’s just a shoulder to cry on, I can see where I really don’t “need” you.

GracieL – I agree.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
1:55 pm

Leggs – You’d be surprised. :(

Mo (aka Moeisha)

November 3rd, 2011
1:58 pm

Afternoon All, hope everyone is well in Blogsville!

let me speed read to try and catch up…….

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
1:59 pm

Leggs – It was one of those “look good together on paper” situations with me & a dude. When I broke it off with him, I got the “how could she give up such a good man and she’s gon end up by herself” mess from all those on the outside looking in. But he was not there for me at a very VITAL time. Thought that would get in the way of his social life. Had to kick that to the curb & thankful God showed me what he was all about.

cba

November 3rd, 2011
2:00 pm

Yep Kimmie, it’s the dark days that put a marriage/relationship to the real test.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
2:01 pm

@kimmie ~ that’s being selfish. Death makes me uncomfortable (something I’m working on), but my partner at that time would have my support. I realize some people don’t know what to say, but that applies to acquaintenances and co-workers. The person you’re sleeping with should be in your corner. If they’re not find someone else to occupy that corner and quickly kick them to the curb.

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
2:03 pm

cba good read about the dark days…….that is comforting!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
2:07 pm

cba:

Great your wife was there when YOU NEEDED her. And you were there when SHE NEEDED you. That’s appreciation for each other, that’s nice.

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
2:08 pm

Leggs – That is one of those situations nobody is too “independent” to “need”. People handle illness and death differently and in their own way. I knew a guy that just came and got me out of the house to take my mind off things when my dad died. He said he couldn’t deal with funerals well, but he took me out whereever I wanted to go to lift my spirits. I appreciated that.

cba

November 3rd, 2011
2:09 pm

Lady, I didn’t get a chance to comment about your situation yesterday. All I would say is, take your time because there seems to be a few variables involved. Regardless, I wish the best for you and your daughter. I am very partial to daughters :-)

kimmie

November 3rd, 2011
2:11 pm

GracieL – I feel sorry for guys like you described in your post. They are usually hurting.

GracieL

November 3rd, 2011
2:11 pm

kimmie: “When I broke it off with him, I got the “how could she give up such a good man and she’s gon end up by herself” mess from all those on the outside looking in.”

I HATE THAT! Especially at the holidays. What? They’re coming up again? Dang.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
2:13 pm

“I am very partial to daughters”
cba me too and I don’t have a daughter anymore. I wish I did though.

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
2:14 pm

Illness and death is a time to comfort not hide having your mate grieve alone. If that’s the case, they’re not your mate.

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
2:14 pm

you are so right CBA and we are on the same page………I am taking it slow….I promise I am not pressed for the paper resume that looks great……it is more to it and what is for me and lil lady @ the end of the day will be………..thanks for understanding me! ;)

cba

November 3rd, 2011
2:14 pm

BF, under one of my wife’s pic on my FB, I wrote, ” I did good”. Not in an arrognant way but yeah, not to dam bad. One of my friends said, yes you did :-)

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
2:16 pm

Peeking in….

No particular topic I see :)

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
2:17 pm

That’s a nice endorsement, cba.

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
2:18 pm

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
2:19 pm

Hey there Lady…see you’ve been popping in lately…stick around

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
2:19 pm

We are now talking Diversity and Inclusion on our conference

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
2:21 pm

Yep loving it too……MIA always ROCKS! Thanks sis!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
2:23 pm

LOL…..@ Celisea

I know about the talk going on in the conference rooms, it’s something about those rooms when walking in there I know it’s gonna be a fight to stay alert and woke.

Sassy Me...Juicy Fruit ;-)

November 3rd, 2011
2:24 pm

No particular topic I see

No and I thought today’s blog topic would’ve garnered 7 or 8 pages by now…either way it’s nice to read good posts and I’m glad it hasn’t turned into a bashfest of either sex..

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
2:25 pm

diversity is blah C….I am taking a diversity class now and it is dry….with hot button topics……smh lol i think i am tired too though….I need a break but duty calls