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What really attracts a man?

There was a poll of about 20, 000 men to find out what they were attracted to. The results listed the top traits that most men put at the top for initial attraction:

1. Sexual chemistry
2. Smile
3. Kindness
4. Sense of humor
5. General body type
6. Eyes
7. Intelligence
8. Communication skills
9. Teeth/Lips
10. Hair

The list of traits that men are attracted to for “long term”:
1. Kindness
2. Sense of humor
3. Communication skills
4. Sexual prowess
5. Intelligence
6. Smile
7. Listening skills
8. Money/Wealth
9. General body type/fitness
10. Eyes

I have to admit, I expected body type to be at the very top but I am not surprised it’s listed in the top 10. Also, men are into eyes? Who knew! I believe that if women were polled, a lot of the same traits would be listed, but it is hard to predict how they would rank the traits.

Guys do you agree with the lists? Do you have others that should be placed on the list?

I think a lot of us are attracted to the same traits, but do we actually possess the traits we seek out? Do you think that what attracts you initially is similar to what you are attracted for the long term?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

367 comments Add your comment

reebok

November 3rd, 2011
7:57 am

Funny and Smart (’Sense of Humor’ and ‘Intelligence’ in the terminology above) knock me dead. Anything after that is just a bonus.

LeeH1

November 3rd, 2011
8:22 am

Anyone who has traveled in the Middle East, where women wear veils, knows how dangerous and attractive women’s eyes can be.

jarvis

November 3rd, 2011
8:28 am

Perky breasts didn’t even make the list?
Who were these guys?

Rock Gaines

November 3rd, 2011
8:38 am

I’m into women who are honest about themselves. I also like women who are not afraid to reveal the good and the bad about me to my face. That helps me to grow as a person after the initial shock wears off.

I like self-confident women who don’t neccessarily have to keep telling you they are – it’s a natural part of their personality. A rockin’ body is nice, but what’s inside that body? A willingness to compromise when we have a stalemate is always a plus.

Single and Happy!!!

November 3rd, 2011
8:41 am

From what I see, this poll only shows the same thing it took to get them is the same thing it takes to keep them!

CoolShadow

November 3rd, 2011
8:42 am

Guys do you agree with the lists? Do you have others that should be placed on the list?

I totally agree with the qualities, although the order could be rearranged depending on how much thought is put into it on a given day.

I think a lot of us are attracted to the same traits, but do we actually possess the traits we seek out?

I think we generally try to exhibit the qualities we want to attract, although in some cases we may be attracted to a person that has a quality that we think we may lack. For example, a stoic person may be attracted to a person with a strong sense of humor.

Do you think that what attracts you initially is similar to what you are attracted for the long term?

Yes, it’s usually the tangible qualities that initially reel you in (smile, body type, eyes, etc.), and then you explore to see if the intangible qualities (kindness, intelligence, humor, etc.) will intrigue you enough to want to get to know them better.

jake's mom

November 3rd, 2011
8:43 am

money/wealth surprise me. FYI guys: most of us have no intention of being the “nurse and purse” for some deadbeat

Stonethrower

November 3rd, 2011
8:49 am

Can she cook like me?

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
8:51 am

I can tell you that for most women, intelligence would always come before the body type and sexual prowess when describing what we look for in a man. What I do find interesting is that men say they will leave their woman if she gains too much weight (not sure what too much is, guess it depends on the guy), yet, in this survey they state body type/fitness came in second to last in regards to long term attraction .

mike

November 3rd, 2011
8:51 am

How about mental wellbeing? Everyone I come across has some deep rooted issues revolving around daddy issues, insecurities, and jealousy.

Augusta

November 3rd, 2011
8:52 am

Apparently a strong single independent female scares the crap out of most men.

I’ve been on my own, raising a child alone (who has now left my nest), and I can’t seem to meet a MAN who isn’t intimidated by the fact that I can take care of myself. I am NOT one of those who NEEDS a man in her life. Obviously I’ve done just fine by myself.

However, I truly miss companionship. I’m not really looking to get married again, I would just like a companion to do things with. I get tired of being the only single person at a party. I get tired of doing things alone.

I love to cook, and would love to find a man who knows his way around a kitchen. I’m not into playing games, I’m straightforward and honest. I take good care of myself, I’m not overweight, not drop dead georgeous, but I have a very witty sense of humor, always have a smile on my face, no stress, no drama, and a love for life…..

So what’s the problem?

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
8:52 am

Good morning blogsville

From the lists above, seems that more physical factors appear on the initial list but less are on the one for the long term. However, until this morning, I never thought to separate the two, Short-term list from a Long term one. Interesting…

Gonna miss the beau this weekend, he be going huntin’ in da woods of Bama *sigh*

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
8:53 am

@stonethrower ~ I was really surprised that one wasn’t even on there. Guess times have changed and men figure if the woman has money/wealth then she can just buy him dinner and doesn’t need to cook.

Jaded Guy

November 3rd, 2011
8:54 am

What Female Traits Attract THIS Man:

- Kindness to Strangers

- Sincerity

- Intelligence

- Ability to Articulate

- NOT Using Her “Monthly Visitor” to Be Verbally & Emotionally Abusive

- NOT Being a Cheater

- NOT Using Her Secret Online Profile to Scour for Other Men While Claiming to Want to Marry Me

- NOT Sleeping with My Best Friend Since Childhood

- NOT Being a Lying, Cheating, Manipulative, Hateful [Female Dog] Whenever Doesn’t Get Her Way

- Already Sharing Similar Interests & Being Open to Sharing New Ones Together

- Warm, Inviting Eyes

- Good Hygiene

- A Caressable Behind

- Dark Hair

initial attraction

November 3rd, 2011
8:56 am

Beautiful Legs are amazing.

Adam Lambert

November 3rd, 2011
9:01 am

Augusta, babe, I gots to tell you like it is:

You are too perfect. And you think you know it all.

“Obviously,” you say, you have done fine by yourself?
So what happened to the baby-daddy? Unless he has died, it was YOU who picked this joker to bed with and have a child by.

My guess is that you treat men like children and talk to them like a child, especially if they don’t have it all together (or so you think) like yourself.

I come across women like you ALl the time. They make me sick!

You are alone because of YOU, and nobody else.
So sorry to come down hard on you. But you are being blind, like many women like you are prone to being.

A.L.

Expert Bachelor

November 3rd, 2011
9:06 am

Augusta,
I agree and I’m not really looking to get married.

Expert Bachelor

November 3rd, 2011
9:10 am

It’s call peaceful and relaxing Solitude,
when you want it, not Loneliness.

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
9:11 am

@Augusta ~ I think AL went a little far with it.. but there is one point I saw. I too can take care of myself if need be; in other words, when it comes down to surviving I will do what I have to do. However, I prefer to have a man in my life. You mentioned you want a companion, so you actually do need a man in your life in some sort of way maybe just not as the provider.

Expert Bachelor

November 3rd, 2011
9:12 am

I think Augusta is cool and honest.

Expert Bachelor

November 3rd, 2011
9:13 am

Only the Universe provides.

Expert Bachelor

November 3rd, 2011
9:15 am

Augusta needs a whirlwind romance.

SlimNu

November 3rd, 2011
9:17 am

JG – Um…those are some very specific traits…Sounds like things that happened in your past.

Captain America

November 3rd, 2011
9:18 am

thewindwhistler

November 3rd, 2011
9:18 am

MsMarriedUp

November 3rd, 2011
9:19 am

My husband told me it was my looks that attracted him. A little bit of disappointment for me since I was attracted to what I ‘felt’ like he had going inside… a deep concern for family, taking the lead, and doing just what came to be…

Claudine

November 3rd, 2011
9:20 am

Augusta, I’m in agreement with you.

Jeff

November 3rd, 2011
9:27 am

I can tell you, you either have “something” or you don’t. For me, it’s a combination. and it’s not a fixed list. It just has to be what works.

But I can tell you one thing. Passion. In every way.

mcgruff04

November 3rd, 2011
9:27 am

@Augusta – You being able to take care of yourself doesn’t scare men off. But you throwing that in a man’s face every chance you get will run amy man off.

Senior Lady

November 3rd, 2011
9:30 am

Augusta, you so eloquently stated what I’ve been saying for 15 years. My husband passed away, I am 60 years old and only want somebody nice to eat and maybe travel with sometimes. No luck. The single men I meet are so run down. Seems they are addicted to the television and just want a good meal. Guess it’s just gonna be me! Sure miss my honey!

atlnative

November 3rd, 2011
9:32 am

I’m attracted to intelligent,openminded,women with a great sense of humor.She can be 5-2,110 pounds,or 5-10 with curves.We will work it out.

Lady~

November 3rd, 2011
9:33 am

Morning Entertaining Crowd!!!!! ;)

Augusta

November 3rd, 2011
9:34 am

Thanks for all the replies…..

First off – I’m not aggressive. I have taken care of myself. I have purchased two homes, raised a child, and sent her to college. And yes, the baby-daddy is dead, and that happened two years after we divorced.

I don’t treat men like children. I’m not a bitch. I’m a kind, generous person, who helps others.

I dont’ NEED a man in my life, I WANT a man in my life. Two totally different things…..

Again, I’m not a bitch. I’m not an aggressive person. I’m happy, comfortable, healthy, energetic, and LOVE to travel.

So there was really no need to get nasty. Oh, and I don’t have that “monthly visitor” anymore!!!! I don’t have any kids at home anymore…..It’s just me and the dog.

Ole Guy

November 3rd, 2011
9:36 am

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
9:38 am

Good morning.

Very glad to see kindness on the list.

@SlimNu ~ that’s why his moniker is Jaded Guy. He’s been reeling for some time now of that woman.

@JG ~ I hope time is helping you heal. Doesn’t matter how long it takes, just that it happens.

Chri

November 3rd, 2011
9:41 am

1. Confidence
2. Kindness
3. Attractiveness (eyes, body type, hair)
4. Intelligence
5. Smile

There, that’s my top five.

Anonymous

November 3rd, 2011
9:41 am

A heartbeat.

oneofeach4me

November 3rd, 2011
9:42 am

Well then Augusta, I think your problem is going to be finding a man who is as mature as you are. I agree that needing and wanting a man in your life are too different things, but most men want to feel needed in some way. They want to know they are giving you something of worth; at least the good ones do anyway.

disco

November 3rd, 2011
9:43 am

good morning.

dag. folks jumped on augusta. we have to acknowledge that there is a difference between a want and a need. wanting a man and needing a man are two different things. I once had a discussion on the topic at the bar with some random guy. I said to him at one point in the conversation that the only thing I needed a man for was to lift things that I couldn’t carry and I could always hire someone for that. he was like ouch. I understand that as a single woman those type comments aren’t wise. I also understand that at the core most men want to feel needed and that’s all well and good. still, I don’t want to go from being independent to becoming co-dependent. someone on here always uses the term balance. guess it’s all about finding the correct balance.

Filster

November 3rd, 2011
9:46 am

Ladies, one problem y’all face is that Atlanta seems to have somethin glike a 10 or 15:1 ratio of single women to single men, so the men get stupid, get a grandiose sense of self-importance thereby missing the chance to meet someone who, while maybe not so “perfect,” is still a fantastic companion. Augusta, I didn’t see verything that AL did, but I did get a little sense of defensiveness and maybe a bit of anger, not at men specifically, but just at how things are going in your life.
Might I suggest that if you see a man you’re interested in, make a little eye contact, a little smile, something to show us numbskull men that you’re interested in us. Believe it or not, a lot of us are pretty thick in that category. If he responds, well, see where it goes.

DreamsMaterialize

November 3rd, 2011
9:47 am

Morning
My list is a little different. #1 on my list is spirituality. #2 is intelligence (real intelligence, not these facades that many people have). #3 Easy to get along with and gets along well with others. #4 Goes after what she wants.

I intentionally didn’t put any physical traits on there. Physical attraction is what I notice before I ever utter a word to you…it gets my attention, but a physical attraction without the above qualities is a no-go for a long term relationship.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

November 3rd, 2011
9:47 am

Her intelligence, smile, sense of humor, and kindness. It’s not difficult to find a woman like this cause all women posesse it, some just don’t display it. I will be attracted to this type always even if she blows me off, I’ll just find another who wont.

Good Morning Bloggers:

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
9:47 am

@one ~ you are correct. Men love to feel they are “needed.” It motivates them in other areas of their lives. It makes the day a little brighter for him. Work is easier, dealing with people is easier, stress level can be diminished all due to the love of his woman. When a man knows his woman needs him and wants him he’s a little more at peace with himself which in turns makes his entire existence a little smoother. We all want to be needed and wanted by someone. A little mushy, but hopefully you get my point.

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
9:48 am

Morning,

Ummm, wow…okay

Augusta, nothing wrong with your post. Had you not mentioned the baby’s father being dead troll folks assumed the negative, that somehow you ran him off treating him like a child…lol That’s what folks get for trying to get a read from a screen with absolutely nothing substantial to go on. Do you honey and what makes you happy :)

Nothing to add really, the list says it all…I guess

OUCH ! i bumped my head

November 3rd, 2011
9:50 am

Nice Butt & Pretty Leggs “Leggs”

Expert Bachelor

November 3rd, 2011
9:50 am

What is a man’s initial attraction to women
is the original question.

Great Question,
the intial attraction is to view attractiveness in action.

Exiled!

November 3rd, 2011
9:50 am

How old are u Augusta,u say the monthly visitor is gone. U mind a younger dude with a full deck groin?

In other news,America’s Most wanted is back

Yippeee

Leggs

November 3rd, 2011
9:54 am

Exiled!

November 3rd, 2011
9:57 am

Ladies want to feel needed too. It’s not a one way street.

That’s why it’s called ‘relationship’ derived from ‘relate’

If u don’t need him and he does not need you,no need to be together

If u don’t ask me for anything and I don’t ask u for anything,no need to be together

If u are an Independent woman then stay Independent then

You don’t need a man

The same way an Independent man don’t need a woman

No sane human being is independent unless they live in the woods

Independent woman is a facade

Celisea

November 3rd, 2011
9:58 am

Filster, I actually you said something in the top of your post. I didn’t sense anger in Augusta’s post but I can relate.