accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Dating: Good together on paper?

It is one of those things that happens to the best of us. You meet someone who appears to have a boatload of things in common with you. Similar background, upbringing, likes, dislikes, even your taste in music matches up! Then dating commences and the attraction wanes instead of grows. What happened?!

It’s when you are good on paper but not in real life. The things that we consider super important for compatibility does not always translate to hot and heavy relationships with great chemistry. You can never predict it but is it something we can create?

Do you ever meet people who you seem to match well with in theory, but not in practice?

Is the chemistry really important or can you begin a love affair with someone who is simply compatible to you? What happens when you realize you are only good on paper?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

272 comments Add your comment

Into the Light

November 2nd, 2011
12:22 pm

@Leggs….Ummm, maybe his car was in the shop? Or maybe he’s trying to live a “green” lifestyle and reduce his carbon footprint??

Lady~

November 2nd, 2011
12:24 pm

Lady~

November 2nd, 2011
12:25 pm

hush exiled I am cautious with many lol

Exiled!

November 2nd, 2011
12:25 pm

U can just be friends Lady

Get to know him better remain friends

U sure u skrong enough to do that without wanting him to jump ur bones?
If u can maybe u will find clarity in due course

DreamsMaterialize

November 2nd, 2011
12:25 pm

Thanks so much DreamsM!!!!! That meant much!!!!!
Lady Anytime. You always have a positive vibe. Just keep doing what you’re doing.

Nothing wrong with trying to date, but if you can’t afford to, don’t.
Leggs I personally lay low if I’m going though something that needs working out. I just don’t like to date while I’m tying up loose ends. I feel like you’re not giving a relationship a fair chance when you do that. The few times I’ve been in situations like that, I either didn’t date at all or I made it known up front where I was in my life. I’ve been without a car, but I never tried to hide it, and I always understood if a woman chose not to deal with me because of it.

Lady~

November 2nd, 2011
12:25 pm

wow the blog posting is funny acting….smh lol

SexyCool

November 2nd, 2011
12:25 pm

What is weird to me is that a 50+ year old got “dropped off” for a date. Couldn’t he have at least borrowed a car? I truly find it interesting the thought processes that some folks use.

Lady~

November 2nd, 2011
12:26 pm

wil doo DreamsM!!!! Exiled thanks too!!!! ;)

SexyCool

November 2nd, 2011
12:31 pm

MzNewy – I like reading the things you write about your marriage. It seems solid.

Leggs

November 2nd, 2011
12:32 pm

@Kym ~ the fact that the two of you are having this type of discussion is a good thing. Listen to your gut. Don’t back down simply because the reason is fear. You are doing yourself such a disservice if this is your reasoning.

Exiled!

November 2nd, 2011
12:33 pm

Leggs could have asked tho…she went away with her assumptions

The dutch issue proly cemented her feelings

But I have heard of guys who prefer Dutch on first few dates

Hmmmmmm

New trend

Times are changing

Lady~

November 2nd, 2011
12:38 pm

I read yesterday Exiled the new trend is women paying on the 1st date…….

Into the Light

November 2nd, 2011
12:40 pm

But I have heard of guys who prefer Dutch on first few dates

I’m okay with Dutch treat, especially if it’s meeting at a restaurant or for coffee, drinks, etc. When you’re meeting someone in person for the first time, it’s more of a friendly outing, not a “date”.

Leggs

November 2nd, 2011
12:41 pm

@ITL ~ One would say “my car is being repaired” if that’s the case. It’s an ended-ended statement “I don’t have a car!” Nothing to pick apart or play on words. He said it the way it was meant to be heard.

<em?I’ve been without a car, but I never tried to hide it, and I always understood if a woman chose not to deal with me because of it. – Excellent point. He could have said something. Let me decide if I want to always be the one to pick you up for our dates and drop you off, or meet you near a bus line and pick you up there. Possibilities are endless….but ummmm, I doubt it.

Exiled!

November 2nd, 2011
12:43 pm

ITL

how about guys who run outta minutes on their phones

or wait for free minutes late at nite before they call

broke is a mother f :lol:

U guys still on that ish?

Into the Light

November 2nd, 2011
12:46 pm

@Leggs, Okay, I misread. I thought you said he was waiting for his ride.

@Exiled: I didn’t say that I was okay with being financially irresponsible. I said I was okay with each of us paying our share – big difference.

Exiled!

November 2nd, 2011
12:56 pm

But pinching ur pennies coz u don’t have much sounds like being financial responsible to me ITL

Exiled!

November 2nd, 2011
12:57 pm

financially responsible

(don’t want to sound ghetto)

Into the Light

November 2nd, 2011
1:01 pm

Exiled, hush. You know what I meant, you’re just trying to get something stirred up. Not today, pal, not today. :)

Leggs

November 2nd, 2011
1:11 pm

@Ex ~ you’re somewhat right. I left with assumptions. I could have asked, but wasn’t interested anymore in knowing the details.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

November 2nd, 2011
1:22 pm

@ Leggs, I remember the times when my choice of lunch was hoping Sams club had some decent free samples, or the local car dealer was having 5 cent hot dogs. I remember being so broke a few months into my marriage, and our in-laws were coming to visit. We spent EVERY penny we had to prepare dinner and 30 minutes before they were to arrive, my wife says, “we don’t have a lemon for the tea”. Two minutes later we were outside looking under the car seat hoping to find a quarter to buy a lemon (we had already checked under the cushions on the couch just to buy stuff for spaghetti). Finally found 35 cents under the car seat and got past that crisis.

Yup. Got those t-shirts and have hopefully buried them WAY back in the closet. But I truly understand the meaning of the old saying, “there but for the grace of God, go I” when I see someone really down on their luck.

Leggs

November 2nd, 2011
1:33 pm

@Randyt ~ I’m not knocking anyone for being broke. I’ve been there. I can identify with checking under car seats, going without basics. Yes, sir, I can identify. Nor do I feel someone has to give me their life story all at once. Getting to know someone is a process. However, don’t talk to me like you got your isht together and you don’t. As much as I’m on this blog, I feel certain things are a given and shouldn’t have a need to be questioned. You invite me out for lunch I’m “assuming” you’re paying. Now, to think I have to ask someone after an invitation is extended to me seems weird and may come across as disrespectful. But it is what it is….

And, it may not all be on him…although he thought me cute, he may not have been feeling me either and didnt care how he came across re: we are going dutch….

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

November 2nd, 2011
1:42 pm

Hey Leggs, I absolutely agree with your way of handling the situation. It just made me remember times I would prefer to forget. I remebmer sleeping in the back of a Dodge minivan for three weeks and washing at a local state park when I was kicked out of my house during the divorce. Dayum cops, you can’t find them when you need them, but you can bet your azzz they will come up and shine their flashlights into the back of a van parked in a library parking lot at 2 AM.

Now I’m trying to decide if I want a Benz convertible or a BMW ragtop. Two things I know from experience:

1) the good times don’t last…neither do the bad.
2) No matter how much I make, it isn’t enough…and no matter how little I make, I find a way to get by.

Just made me remember and look skyward with thanks :-)

Lady~

November 2nd, 2011
1:54 pm

Where did everyone go?!?

Into the Light

November 2nd, 2011
1:59 pm

(waving at Randyt) Hey!!!! I was cheering for y’all on Saturday night, but…. :(

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

November 2nd, 2011
2:03 pm

Congrats ITL The Vols couldn’t beat the Vienna Boys Choir if they had to play two halfs. I’ve buried my orange stuff as far back in the closet as I can. Terrible.

Into the Light

November 2nd, 2011
2:06 pm

Awwww…. :( The ship will right itself. After all, you’ve got a Dooley at the helm!

DreamsMaterialize

November 2nd, 2011
2:06 pm

Where did everyone go?!?
Lady I guess broke dudes is not a good topic. lol

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

November 2nd, 2011
2:07 pm

…but no Herschel!!!

Lady~

November 2nd, 2011
2:07 pm

too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leggs

November 2nd, 2011
2:08 pm

Nice post, Randyt. I was looking around my house just last night thankful for that I have. Never tried to keep up with The Joneses. Hell, I don’t even know their first names so why should I try to emulate them (tks SexyC). I don’t have a lot, but what I have is mine. I know where I came from and I know my struggle. It’s all good because all of it helped me build character. There’s no comfort in “fronting.”

Nothing lasts forever, especially struggle. Well it can, if you choose not to do anything about the situation.

Lady~

November 2nd, 2011
2:08 pm

I emailed you DreamsM! accept my apologies to please sir! thanks! :)

Into the Light

November 2nd, 2011
2:10 pm

True, but it’s a young team. Plus, if you can beat MT, Vandy, and Kentucky you’ll be bowl-eligible. That always helps with recruiting.

SlimNu

November 2nd, 2011
2:10 pm

Leggs – Daaaang chica, that was a bit awkward for a 1st date. If I had car trouble I would probably try to get a rain check on the date. If I were broke and still wanted to invite someone out, I’d maybe treat for a Smoothie or something.

Lady~

November 2nd, 2011
2:11 pm

yep slim tea and coffee too….just keep it light……..

Into the Light

November 2nd, 2011
2:14 pm

So, not to open a can of worms, but am I the only woman in here who is not offended by dutch treat for the first meet and greet with a man?

Lady~

November 2nd, 2011
2:16 pm

nope I am down for it ITL…………don’t mind picking up the tab too……….

Leggs

November 2nd, 2011
2:16 pm

Glad I ordered what I wanted and not the most expensive thing on the menu (something I wouldn’t have done anyway, but I know some do)….

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

November 2nd, 2011
2:17 pm

I think Vandy will beat us too. They are like UT…no depth. Both can stay in the game until the half, but come apart the second half. No Stamina, no endurance, and no depth.

Celisea

November 2nd, 2011
2:17 pm

Yes…ITL…you might be alone in this one. I wouldn’t say “offended” but it’s just not a good show to invite a woman and then tell her part of the bill. You can’t spring for a first meetup?

That’s just me though…don’t let me speak for all :)

Leggs

November 2nd, 2011
2:17 pm

I’m not offended if it’s known up front, ITL. When I man asks me out, I’m expecting him to pay. If I ask him out, I will pay. If it’s dutch it should be stated during the conversation and not at the table eating. That’s my take.

Lady~

November 2nd, 2011
2:19 pm

right leggs if its know up front….I can’t even lie i would look side eye like huh

Celisea

November 2nd, 2011
2:19 pm

I don’t mind treating…..EVERY NOW AND AGAIN…but if it’s a first meet, you’re trying to make an impression…no?

I’m just throwing a couple of thoughts…back to the meeting

Lady~

November 2nd, 2011
2:19 pm

I have never done it but I wonder how it feels to pay on the first date as a woman?!? hmmmmm smh

Lady~

November 2nd, 2011
2:20 pm

laughing @ C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

November 2nd, 2011
2:20 pm

@ ITL and Leggs…most of the ladies I have gone out with have offered, but no way would I accept it. Also, from a man’s point of view, if a lady insisted, I would bet she did not have a good time and wasn’t planning on a repeat performance.

Celisea

November 2nd, 2011
2:21 pm

And it’s freeeeezing in here. My leggs are cold. I almost brought my heater up here

Into the Light

November 2nd, 2011
2:22 pm

I’m not offended if it’s known up front
That’s an important distinction, Leggs. So, it wasn’t so much that it was Dutch, it’s that you didn’t know, right?

It doesn’t bother me in the least to go Dutch. As a matter of fact, I almost prefer it, especially on a first meet and greet. Just keeps things nice and easy and square.

@Randyt: Have faith, grasshopper….you hung in with Alabama for an entire half!

disco

November 2nd, 2011
2:22 pm

now y’all got me thinking of the gospel song “trouble don’t last always”. that one definitely deserve an amen.

SlimNu

November 2nd, 2011
2:24 pm

Um, I’m not going to say I would be offended to go dutch but I’ve never been in a situation where that was the case on a first date. As Leggs stated above, if it was discussed prior to the meet up then I wouldn’t see anything wrong with that. But to spring it up all willy nilly would be a little awkward. lol I usually order something I can afford just in case something pops off.