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Archive for October, 2011

Chasing dreams?

Greetings everyone! I am in Washington, DC this morning after attending the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial Dedication yesterday. It was a wonderful weekend of events and ended with a great tribute concert featuring Sheryl Crow, James Taylor, Ledisi, and the great Stevie Wonder.

Throughout the weekend, I kept thinking of Dr. King’s dream speech. It is always inspiring to hear it each time and it reminds me to never give up on following my own dreams. Although we all have things we want to achieve and accomplishments that we are striving for, we often forget that it would be lonely reaching these milestones alone.

It reminds me of that scene in the film Mahogony starring Diana Ross and Billy Dee Williams: Success is nothing without someone you love to share it with you.

A lot of us delay marriage and dating because we are chasing our dreams, but do we believe that it would be as meaningful if we are alone?

Do you think that your success would be nothing without someone to …

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My first love

I found some old journals from high school recently and reading through it made me nostalgic. Everything back then was sooo dramatic and huge. The first person you thought you were in love with was the only person in the world for you. Ahh, to be young and foolish again.

I thought about how the first love of your life can sometimes set a precedent for future relationships. Sometimes we realize who is no good for us, sometimes we are too naive to know it until much, much later.

What do you think your first love taught you about relationships? Do you remember the first time you fell head over heels in love?

Have you ever wondered what happened to them? Is it ever a good idea to go look them up and see how they are doing?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Can you tell when she likes you?

I have a friend that is completely oblivious when a woman is flirting with him. He is super smart in his work life but when it comes to things like body language, wooing techniques, etc, he just doesn’t recognize the signs that women send his way.

I have literally had to point it out to him and let him know that “friends” don’t really cook for friends three times a week. Women also don’t volunteer to pet sit or do random domestic duties for guys unless they are investing in them. Basically, if a woman is consistently putting time, effort, and money in a man, she wants a relationship with him.

I understand the concept of mixed signals and coded behavior but women who are truly interested won’t hide behind those tactics, do they? Guys can you tell when a woman really likes you?

Ladies, how do you show men you are interested in them as a potential partner (as opposed to a buddy, friend, pal, sponsor etc..) or mate?

Do you ever have a hard time figuring out if someone likes you …

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Do you believe in monogamy?

Imagine being in a relationship with someone for months only to discover they don’t believe in monogamy. Now, everyone does not have the same exact views on commitment and marriage, of course. However, it’s at least good to have a clear understanding of what you think about love and commitment.

A friend went on a date with a woman who said that she does not believe that men and women should be monogamous. He believes the exact opposite, but he doesn’t think they should stop seeing each other. Do you think it could work when two people view something this important so differently?

Do you believe in monogamy? Why or why not? Would you date someone who did or didn’t?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating in the digital age

I was having dinner with my BFFs this weekend and a couple of guys approached our table. We struck up a friendly conversation and someone brought up Facebook. One of the guys said he did NOT Facebook/Tweet, etc. and I seriously wanted to hug him. I don’t know, it just seemed so .. refreshing!

As much as I love social media and consider myself more of a digital girl than an analog one, I have to admit that dating in the digital age can pose a few challenges. It’s almost becomes a blessing and a curse at times. You can find a lot out, but should you do it in that way, without proper context?

I can definitely appreciate not hitting up Google, or Facebook “researching” or digging up details on someone before the first date. It’s a bad habit that I am happy to break.

A reader sent me a clip of VH1’s Tough Love Miami. This reality show features women who go to a “boot camp” with a “dating expert” to help correct their bad dating habits. The clip showed the women being …

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Romantically challenged?

After you get past the early stages of dating, the relationship turns to the familiar and comfortable. Most couples settle into a routine, sometimes dull relationship but there is still a spark there. Keeping the romance fresh and still hot can be a challenge. Especially when it doesn’t come naturally to everyone.

To make matters more challenging, men and women may view romance differently. If you don’t make the effort to find out what your significant other considers romantic, you could end up spinning your wheels.

What was romantic to your ex-girlfriend won’t necessarily work for your new woman. Ladies, just because the last guy liked something you did, doesn’t mean the new one will.

What do you do when the person you are dating is romantically challenged? Do you clue them in or drop hints?

How do you define romance?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Social life keeping you single?

Earlier this week we talked about knowing what we really want in a mate and ending up with someone totally different. It reminded me of another dating conundrum: the thing that attracts you to someone in the beginning is often the same thing that drives a wedge between you two later.

For example, a man meets a woman out at a party. She is vibrant, friendly, full of life and is pretty active on the social scene. At first, he loves this about her. They get together and suddenly it’s a problem that his little social butterfly won’t sit home with him in a quiet cocoon of an existence. See what happened there? It’s a classic example of how things become a little more complicated when expectations kick in.

A lot of people I know who go out a lot are ready and willing to take on domestic/married/coupled up life. I believe that you can actually strike a nice balance of both if you wanted to. A little compromise goes a long way, doesn’t it?

Is it possible partying is keeping …

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Do you know what you want?

I am often surprised at the people I see coupled up – in a good way. Many of the happiest couples I know tell me that when they first met their mate, they had no idea they would end up with them. In other words, if they had been looking for their so called type – they would not have found their significant other.

So it makes me wonder if we actually know what we want? When we can not predict attraction, chemistry, or who we fall for, why do we rule out potential people because of baggage?

The really confusing part is when someone adamantly states they aren’t interested in XYZ type but somehow ends up with the carbon copy of XYZ. What does that mean about our dating choices – good and bad?

Are we deciding who to date based on what we think/say we want or is it much more random?

When someone asks what you are seeking in a mate, do you tell them? Are you describing someone that you have met in the past or is it a fictional character that can’t ever exist in the real world? …

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Are men in trouble?

I read CNN’s opinion piece by William Bennett called “Why Men Are in Trouble” and it made me think hard about men. In the article, Bennett outlines why he thinks men today are not showing strong signs of grasping what being a man is about.

It’s interesting that Bennett addresses a lack of maturity that he thinks is a big part of the problem. To wit:

“Just ask young women about men today. You will find them talking about prolonged adolescence and men who refuse to grow up. I’ve heard too many young women asking, “Where are the decent single men?” There is a maturity deficit among men out there, and men are falling behind.”

If men are in trouble, what does this mean for the future of our dating relationships?

Do you agree that men are not stepping up to the plate in their transition from boys to men?

Another thing that stood out in the article is the fact that Bennett sited a “decline in virtues” that men are showing less success/interest in work, marriage, and religion. …

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Stereotype good looking people?

I think beautiful people get a bad rap sometimes. When the good looking people are single and available, sometimes they are not given the benefit of the doubt.

When it comes to good looking guys, a woman will assume that he is used to women throwing themselves all over him. His confidence is seen as cocky or arrogant just because he is hot.

Just the other day, I asked a friend of mine why she didn’t give this gorgeous guy her phone number and she said there was no way he would actually call her. She didn’t want to be a “member of his fan club” or groupie to his rockstar status.

Beautiful women often get labeled as crazy (where does that come from anyway?) or boring. They may even have their intelligence questioned! As if a good looking person has no need to be smart.

So maybe we are being unfair to the hotties? What do you think? Do we stereotype good looking people?

Do you find that the more good looking someone is, the less you take them seriously?

What are some other …

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