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Haunted by dating mistakes?

Since today is the day of scary things that are haunted, I thought about those dating mistakes we all make that come back and haunt us later. I hate living with regret, but it really is a part of life. We sometimes second guess the decisions we made or something we did, but have you ever actually been bothered by it later on?

I think it would be helpful to purge the past, open the door of skeletons, and release some of those bad feelings. Who wants to be haunted by their mistakes of their past? I had to look up an old boyfriend and apologize for what I did to him. I could have blamed my youth and stupidity but I owned up to my mistake. It didn’t even matter to him at that point but it did me a boatload of good.

When you look back at your track record, is there anything you wish you had handled differently? Have you thought of apologizing to the people you hurt, misled, or deceived? Do you think they would be open to hearing about your remorse?

What dating mistake are you haunted by?

To those who acknowledge or celebrate the spooky holiday: Happy Halloween!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

170 comments Add your comment

Kym

October 31st, 2011
9:29 am

Morning-

There is always something I wish I had handled differently. Now I am a firm believer in what’s done is done..I have not misled or decieved anyone but I have cussed many a joker out. Being overly critical is my biggest regret. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so if I see signs that thing are not looking so square..well let’s just say I practice the art of I will get you before you get me. Yeah, I am not big on excuses from folks so I quick to confront, and slow to listen to all the fact. Okay so I tend to overreact..I know shocking!:-) but again sometimes a hissy fit maybe justified..other times..it was just a failure to communicate…that got blown way out of proportion. But I am not going back to make it right..I will just continue to work on myself and learn not to pull the trigger so quick.

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
9:36 am

Good morning.

I really can’t recall any bad mistakes that I need to apologize over that are haunting me. Sure, I’ve made mistakes but nothing that leaves me comfortable walking through life.

The one thing I regret was not punch MJN in the face when he tried to throw me in the pool after I snatched my necklace from his neck. He was a womanizer, a sophisticated con artist and a habitual liar. Well, they all do go hand in hand.

Just found out two weeks ago he’s in a nursing home with out any visitors. That kind of warmed my heart.

MsMarriedUp

October 31st, 2011
9:36 am

The worst one for me used to be married men telling me, and having me believe they were single when they weren’t. That one used to really bother me, which probably was my mistake for getting all adamant about it. Of course I was going to get the answer I wanted to hear.

MsMarriedUp

October 31st, 2011
9:37 am

…and did I foget my Good Morning!?!

Good Morning Leggs and Kym & everyone

Button

October 31st, 2011
9:40 am

First and foremost I would like to THANK YOU Wise for this statement: To those who acknowledge or celebrate the spooky holiday: Happy Halloween! Finally someone who respects that not everyone is into halloween :)

MsMarriedUp

October 31st, 2011
9:41 am

foget!?! good lord, let me get off this thing. Only words I don’t mess up are the wrong ones! D,S,F and such

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
9:44 am

Good morning….brrrrgh :)

Hope everyone had a great weekend. Regrets from the past? Mmmmm not so much. I don’t desire to go back and fix anything as I understand the frame of mind at 20 vs 30 vs 40 is not the same. Yes, many things I should have done differently but could not have simply because what I know now I didn’t know then. How could I? I have been probably too quick on the trigger many times and potentially cut something short that could have survived had I understood patience and compromise. But I like my life just as it is and somethings I’m sure I could still tweak but really it’s not that deep. Life is not intended to be lived going back to undo certain things. What one can do is extract from every experience a lesson learned and do better or differently the next time. Going back though is nonsense…IMO Life is not intended to be lived looking back….the eyes are in front for a reason :)

Hey MsMarriedUp – I’ve only had 3 “real” relationships in which one stepped out. I didn’t actually catch anything but when I confronted he didn’t deny. That sufficed for me. No way was I sticking only to enable more lies…lol What I had to learn (cause I was sooo one where a man was NOT going to cheat), is that I cannot control the actions of others. I had to learn because a person is a liar, that in now way is a reflection on me. And I had to come to know, you can’t change people. I learned for liars to not even tolerate a conversation….it will only produce more lies. Walking away is what I perfected…probably to a fault

Button

October 31st, 2011
9:48 am

I’ve made some dating mistakes but nothing to lose sleep over or give me any nightmares or still haunting me. I do have a bad habit of being too domineering, something I’m ashamed of and wish that I can learn to not be so bossy.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
9:51 am

I have encountered more dudes not hitting on nothing or didn’t want nothing. As a result, my finger if trigger happy when it comes to rift raft. Not only is life too short to go back weeding through and fixing the past, it’s too short for tolerating bullcrappery. Some things shouldn’t amp up to the “regret” column.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
9:54 am

Have ya’ll notice for the last week or so we haven’t been invaded by trolls? I’m trying my best to whisper.

Lady~

October 31st, 2011
10:00 am

Morning MIA! Happy BOO Day! ;)

oneofeach4me

October 31st, 2011
10:01 am

“Life is not intended to be lived going back to undo certain things. What one can do is extract from every experience a lesson learned and do better or differently the next time. Going back though is nonsense…IMO Life is not intended to be lived looking back….the eyes are in front for a reason”

Well… everyone can move on to something else now. Celisea has said it all this morning! I will add that I think what makes it possible to not have to reopen old wounds is to deal with them when they happen. Give yourself closure at each step of the way so you can move on.

DJ Sniper

October 31st, 2011
10:03 am

I’ve never really done anybody particularly dirty, so I’ve never gone back and had to apologize for anything. Last year though, I did get a call from an ex-girlfriend from about 10 years ago. Long story short, she got pregnant and named me as her child’s father, but DNA tests proved otherwise. She called me up to apologize for all the drama she put me through during that time. She told me some stuff that went down with her when she was younger and why that caused her to act the way she did. That was very big of her, and I accepted her apology.

Lady~

October 31st, 2011
10:05 am

yeah what oneofeach4me and Celisea said……..sums it up…….

abc

October 31st, 2011
10:12 am

I figure that for those I treated inappropriately, there’s no way I’m going to risk opening up old wounds by contacting them, just to make myself feel better; and for those that did me wrong, I appreciate their leaving me alone, too. What’s done is done. I learned to think before I acted, considering if I wanted to live with the consequences of my actions, not the least of which is regret.

Lady~

October 31st, 2011
10:15 am

good post abc!

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
10:18 am

There are a few times that I wish that I would have left sooner or actually run fast in the other damn direction period. But alas, c’est la vie. Life lived. Lesson learned.

O/T – I caught a piece of the Rickey Smiley Morning Show this morning. I guess they had a numerologist/fortune teller/something on this morning. This chick called in and asked, “Is my ex going to leave his wife and come back to me? He got married on me, while we were together.” Just hearing that question angered, sickened and stirred pity in me all at the same time. Like…seriously?!?!?

Mike P

October 31st, 2011
10:26 am

Shame on you Leggs, that was mean, and you know it! Everyone deserves love and happiness, even the players. lol

I said it here before and I’ll say it here again, some (not all, but some) “players” both male and female, became that way because of someone else has broken their li’l hearts.

:evil: whoooooooaaa :evil:!!!! :twisted: :P

October 31st, 2011
10:29 am

Http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgCdynUFI1S

abc

October 31st, 2011
10:31 am

I agree with Mike P — for me personally, when a young man, I just plainly didn’t give a sheeot whether I hurt feelings or was a total dog with chicks, due to a broken heart. I hurt a lot of people. There is, in fact, only 1 woman that I give a dayum about in that regard to this very day, she is the only girl for me. The rest can scuffle, not my problem.

Maybe I haven’t matured that much yet!

:evil: whoooooooaaa :evil:!!!! :twisted: :P

October 31st, 2011
10:34 am

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
10:46 am

Good morning, MsMarriedUp.

@MikeP ~ I have to agree with was mean, but when I heard that he’s in a nursing home, I smiled. I really did. Karma is a mofo when you messing with other people’s emotions and $$.

Halloween Joke: WITHOUT GOOGLING, use your imagination.

The person who invented it doesn’t want it.
The person who bought it doesn’t need it.
The person who need it doesn’t know it.

What is it?

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 31st, 2011
10:47 am

I guess my biggest dating mistake I can recollect immediately was emailing someoneIi was interested in from another lady I was seeing’s computer …and got caught!!! It nipped in the bud a blooming relationship with what was probably the better of the two ladies. We stayed together for another year and a half, but things never got back to where they had been. It can take years to build trust, and only an instant to blow it. For the record, I was newly divorced and had no idea what I wanted…and like most guys, I wanted it all. Big mistake.

Learned the hard way to take one at a time.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 31st, 2011
10:49 am

Dayum Leggs…in a nursing home? (I hope I die before I get sent to a nursing home…unless it is filled with loose old ladies maybe and I can fantasize with my eyes shut).

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
10:51 am

Randyt!

that’s a playa move!

Haunted?

does having a baby mama for lyfe count?

whatever I do,where I go,whatever woman I am with,u can never shake off that woman(en).

Yea,until I die,Ian haunted.

:evil:

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
10:52 am

I am haunted!

Lady~

October 31st, 2011
10:56 am

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
11:15 am

“I’m trying my best to whisper.” = my morning chuckle!!!

Kym

October 31st, 2011
11:20 am

Okay I am in need of a nap..I actually dozed off at my desk..

OT: Does anyone know how the battery life is holding up in the new iphone..me and blackberry maybe parting ways soon.

Mike P

October 31st, 2011
11:20 am

@Leggs:

Halloween Joke: WITHOUT GOOGLING, use your imagination.

The person who invented it doesn’t want it.
The person who bought it doesn’t need it.
The person who need it doesn’t know it.

What is it?

I’m stumped… :(

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
11:22 am

I’m about six weeks away from being out of my contract on my BB. So, I will probably soon be replacing my two year old BB and will even consider leaving Sprint. I welcome all information and suggestions – especially those about plans that are best for texting and data usage.

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
11:24 am

Anybody else ready for the answer or are some of you still trying to figure it out?

Chink

October 31st, 2011
11:25 am

Not being haunted …I have always been honest and upfront but I cannot say the same for my “significant others”. Randy I believe alot of guys are like your example of what you have done in the past.

One lesson learned for me is not giving any more chances …You don’t even get 1 ..you just blew it. Seems harsh but saves me a headache of having to decipher who gives a eff or who doesn’t!

Robert

October 31st, 2011
11:27 am

There are several mistakes I wish I could take back. I wish I saw the future in 1984 when I met Oprah when she was in Baltimore working in a radio station. I was young and not yet skilled in the game of love. Maybe just maybe…..

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 31st, 2011
11:27 am

Okay, second mistake that screwed a date up…”nair”ing my hairy azz back the night before a hot date. My back stung and then stuck to her sheets, pulled skin off and got blood all over her sheets. May be a connection between that and not being invited back.

GracieL

October 31st, 2011
11:27 am

The sociopath. Don’t blame myself for the first time, because he’s very clever and knows how to pretend to be exactly what his victim wants. Falling prey to him again, years later, is something for which I cannot forgive myself.

It’s like the parable of the young woman who saves the frozen snake during a snowstorm, brings him inside, thaws him out, and feeds him through the winter. In spring, he sinks his sharp teeth into her, releasing his venom into her flesh. As the neurotoxins spread unspeakable pain throughout her body, and she begins to lose consciousness, she asks, “WHY? Why did you do this to me after I saved you?” The cold-eyed, soul-less snake responded, “I’m a snake. That’s what I do, and you knew that when you saved me.”

There’s just no way to fix it.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
11:29 am

MMeelloo – Haunted? does having a baby mama for lyfe count?whatever I do,where I go,whatever woman I am with,u can never shake off that woman(en).Yea,until I die,Ian haunted.

LOLOLOL…you ought to stop. Haunted how? All you need to do is take care of your parental responsibilities. Unless you’re creeping with the baby’s mama or she’s still hanging on, it should just be you and the kid as far as interacting and relating. No? It was funny when I read it though. Sometimes those consequences far outweigh the fun…don’t they?

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
11:37 am

That was a great example, GracieL. A leopard doesn’t change its spots.

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
11:40 am

It should be you and the kid as far as interacting….

Celisea?

I wish!

It never is the way u put it there…coz she’s a parent too!

Even if I consciously make her expire or she(baby) expires by some other means.

How can u look at your kid and not see the mother or father?

When my boy starts having a deeper voice,I’m going bless him with lots of condoms and be candid with him about Daddy’s countless horny mistakes.

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
11:41 am

I meant (baby mama)

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
11:41 am

DRUMROLL….{{BOOM BOOM BOOM}}

Answer: A Coffin!!

Kym

October 31st, 2011
11:44 am

I think there should be a blog Holiday shindig.

abc

October 31st, 2011
11:47 am

Personally, I don’t have any communications with my kids’ mom, and when I’m with them I’m not thinking of her at all. I suppose it changes once the kids grow up and are out of the house. I’m actually happy to be out of touch with their mom.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
11:48 am

Exiled – How can u look at your kid and not see the mother or father?

Easily….very. I see her and I see him. I see it in her facial expressions, mannerisims, actions (Jesus…her actions) but I’m over that. Soooo, I don’t “see him”….not like that anyway. I just don’t. I’m not cold or callous but I’m over it…period. Have been a long time. There was a time though I was where. How old is the kid. Some won’t appreciate it but I don’t care….I prefer things stay JUST LIKE THIS….him out of my life and hers. I don’t where he is in life as it relates to how he’s faring but my experience and last interaction was him being a toxic person. He was willing to up his stance and do/get better. So I closed the door on that. I don’t wish him ill but I don’t want him anywhere near me or my kid.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

October 31st, 2011
11:51 am

I’ve made my apologies, because I was wrong.

Whether taken at face value or sincerely is a matter for that female. For me, it’s not about guilt, but the acceptance that I was wrong – dead wrong in some cases.

If/when I’ve felt the need to state that, I have. Not for ‘closure’, moreso, for betterment of my character.

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
11:53 am

Abc, I think u explained it better,’once the kids are grown’

mine not grown yet,so

Celisea,for u,’I don’t want him anywhere near me nor my kid’

now I’m not there with u but if that was my case as well,it would make my being haunted look even worse. That’s Anger right there!

U sure u not Haunted more than I am?

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
11:54 am

Yep….I hadn’t seen abc’s 11:47 but that’s where I stand. I’ve pretty much done it by myself and I’m all the better woman for it. I have absolutey no regrets about it. I don’t buy men not being able to do it…it’s possible. It’s not easy but there a reserve you just draw from and get it done. Like I said he spent about 7 years whining about “not seeing his kid”….I didn’t prevent him per se, but if he wanted to do the dang thing, he could have. I cut my losses when she was a tot. No way I was going to drag dead weight on my leg for the next 18 years. That made my road and my travel that much lighter :)

Chink

October 31st, 2011
11:55 am

Dan I can respect that ..those who don’t have the gumption to face what they did ..I feel sorry for.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
11:55 am

MMeello – That’s Anger right there!

Boy stop. I have fun a hundred times over since my days with her dad. I’ve had a couple of boyfriends since then…lol Trust me, THERE IS NOTHING THERE…NOTHING…lol

Mike P

October 31st, 2011
11:57 am

@Leggs: Okay I would have never guessed Lolol :D

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
11:59 am

it’s not about guilt, but the acceptance that I was wrong – dead wrong in some cases.

I ask God for forgiveness and trust he’ll grant and direct my path forward loking. Not saying the act of showing forgiveness to someone directly isn’t a good thing, but think about it we’d spin all our years if we went back to every person we’ve wrong. There are sins of commission and ommissions….no way to cover it all in circling back. Since we know of and sins we don’t. Give them to God and move on.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
12:00 pm

Some not “since”

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
12:08 pm

But then again,if nobody was ever wrong,they wldnt be human.

Got give it to and blame it on Adam and ( the malicious conniving serpent) for being enticed by that cherry!

Haunted by those yonder yo mistakes that cast a spell on All of Us!

Mike P

October 31st, 2011
12:08 pm

Steps to moving forward from your mistakes when you have wronged someone:
(1) forgive your self first;
(2) ask God (or divine providence) for forgiveness;
(3) ask that the person wronged to have blessings and happiness, happier than he could have had with you.
(4) be done with it; know that it is done, resolved, all is well.

Willie Dynamite

October 31st, 2011
12:09 pm

Aftrernoon All,

Lets see,
Mistakes that I am haunted by – none
Regrets – a few small ones nothing life or personality changing.
Apologetic – a little, I made amends to a few that I looked back on and felt bad that I hurt. 10-15 yrs after the fact doesn’t help but they were actually good conversations.
I can and will honestly say that for quite some time I gave the psuedo-disclaimer to every chick that was in my prescence. I didn’t date (per se`) alot so I can’t say I led many astray. I used to say I don’t have a GF, Don’t want a GF, Not interested in falling in love and right now I don’t deal in emotions. We can kick it (hahaha) have some fun and go to a few places. If you want me to sign up for more than that then I’m sorry thats not me and I don’t wanna waste your time.

kimmie

October 31st, 2011
12:10 pm

What’s up gang? BOO!!!

I’ve tried to treat others as I would want to be treated all along, but I am human. Mistakes have been made. I made my apologies and asked for my forgiveness at the time of the occurance, because as I have said before, I am one that sees my sins immediately, not years down the road.

As for regrets, I really don’t have any major ones that haunt. I just wish, like SCool, I had left some dudes earlier and not wasted my time. Forget all that “learn from mistakes” stuff. My time with them was a waste, pure and simple. For those that I did not give a chance, I have absolutely no regret at all for doing so. I look at that as God protecting me.

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
12:24 pm

I wish a man would come up and say all that to me, WillieD. I would thank him for his honestly then wish him luck in his hunting. Well, really, I’d probably say I hope you don’t find anyone willing enough to go along with that line of thinking, but I know you will…

GracieL

October 31st, 2011
12:25 pm

There’s no point in forgiving a sociopath, because (1) they’re never sorry, (2) they don’t need, want, or care about being forgiven, and (3) may they rot in hell. By the way, experts estimate that 1 in 25 people are thusly UNafflicted by the burden of conscience. Look it up. Read about it. You’ll see that most likely, your life has also been touched by one of these snakes.

Kym

October 31st, 2011
12:27 pm

Afternoon Random Thought–The planet has 7 billion people. Some of ya’ll need to move to Mars..you are sucking up all the oxygen.

Purple Reign

October 31st, 2011
12:48 pm

Do I feel bad about how I treated some in the past? Yes. WIll I go back and apologize? No. I am fine with it and bygones are bygones. I don’t agree that living with regret is a part of life…unless you got some fat chick pregnant and are now stuck with her fat kid or something. Everything happens for a reason whether it is good or bad. This sounds like a “closure” issue and only women have those. Really ladies would you want some guy who did you wrong to come back and apologize, what difference would it make. You already know you have been hoping for karma to get him anyway. If someone is in your past there are there for a reason.

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
12:57 pm

Has anyone else heard that KimK is filing for divorce?

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
12:58 pm

Hey Purp – ran 5 miles in about 58 minutes on Saturday morning…..woohoo!!!!!

Purple Reign

October 31st, 2011
1:04 pm

Sexy Cool! You are kicking boooootaayyyyy! Proud of you…everyone else not so much. LOL Send me that link again

Chink

October 31st, 2011
1:14 pm

PR I don’t want anyone from the past coming to apologize … I have done moved on ..but an apology should be warranted if you have just recently done someone wrong. Just my O pin ion.

Chink

October 31st, 2011
1:22 pm

I think its all about “timing”…

And time and time again men from the past try to reconcile like the woman has been sitting around for years waiting on them to get it together …its a terrible assumption …

sfw

October 31st, 2011
1:24 pm

If it is something small, I don’t care about if they want an apology or not, if they really screwed up something, far beyond what they ever had the right to. Then I hope they come back over and over again asking for forgiveness, that way it may be in their mind not to do that again.

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
1:32 pm

“Then I hope they come back over and over again asking for forgiveness” – The only way I can see this happening is if the two still live together and are trying to maintain a relationship. Others, that would be the last thing I would want. Apologize once and let’s close the chapter.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
1:36 pm

I agree. Sometimes you just grow and learn folks aren’t cut from the same cloth. Some can wrong a person and want to at least end things on a right foot and sometimes, folks don’t care. I think being to turn the page and close the chapter is the most important. IMO it’s delayed heartache and pain to keep watching and hoping a person will come up a road that frankly they don’t travel. Some folks have wronged but have since grown up and come to the realization hurting just ain’t right. And sometimes it’s unfortunate if you are the test model for their learning.

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
1:39 pm

Chink?
Reconcile with a woman for what? That u didn’t marry her?

Nobody deserves anything from a man…

Why is that men have to apologize for not choosing a woman?

Celisea,why are women always pouting about hurting?

Don’t men bleed blood too?

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
1:39 pm

Even if you are attempting to maintain a relationship, I couldn’t see the value in continuing to apologize for the same thing. It would say to be that any previous apology was insincere or that you do not believe that I have, if I have, in fact, forgiven you.

Either way, it signals an unresolved, ongoing issue.

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
1:41 pm

@SexyC ~ although there may not be value in it, human nature usually dictate that while trying to maintain the relationship a person is going to say I’m sorry, or please forgive me more than once. Guaranteed.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
1:43 pm

MMeello – Celisea,why are women always pouting about hurting?

Why are you asking me? I’m not one for hanging on. I’ve moved on while hurting. I’ll be daggone though if Imma sit around and let you know I’m still hurting. I stay dang distracted until I’m good but I won’t ever give a man that. Now if it’s one that will say, hey can I talk to you and wants to make it right. I’ll tell it in that situation but sitting around waiting and hoping for apologies, waiting for closure? Please. Men ain’t doing that. Possibly those that know they messed up royally and know they lost a good thing for real.

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
1:43 pm

Doesn’t mean it’s insincere. The blunder could be so severe that one may feel the gumption to apologize more than once. Severity is in the eye of the wronged. People work though it and some can salvage their relationship, but I bet whether it’s a verbal “I’m sorry” or not, it has been conveyed more than once.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
1:44 pm

And being able to “deal” with a person not big enough to admit their wrong don’t make the hurt hurt less, IMO it just keep a person more in tune with the reality of how relationships work and helps to put your big girl panties on and K.I.M.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
1:46 pm

I should say keeps one in reality of the possible fall outs of love lost….yeah that’s what I meant.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
1:47 pm

Meelloo – Don’t men bleed blood too?

I’m not a man but I believe so. I just think they’re going to move on if they realize it’s done or the damage is too severe to repair.

sfw

October 31st, 2011
1:49 pm

Only thing that made me think of it is a girl that accused my buddy of rape and then let him do his time and then appologized and when he wouldn’t accept it, she got upset.

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
1:49 pm

Well, IF I’m bringing up the issue, then yes, a person could apologize again…I guess. But…if I’m not bringing it up, why would a person still be apologizing for it?

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
1:50 pm

sfw – whatdahell?!?

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
1:50 pm

Rape? Oh my! That ain’t funny at all

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
1:51 pm

men lie women lie – You out there? How are you holding up?

sfw

October 31st, 2011
1:53 pm

Yeah no kiddin, she took 2 years of his life and then wants forgiveness, and got all pissy when he is holding a grudge, I heard about it, she thought as long as she said sorry then all should be right in the world forgiveness like that needs to really be earned, this guy wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
1:54 pm

OMGosh….so now he’s convicted and she’s sorry?????

sfw

October 31st, 2011
1:57 pm

Yup, very sorry, only after he did his time, she wouldn’t come clean while he was in.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:00 pm

That’s a daggone shame. Now that’s trifling…outright. That’s the other thing side of the coin. What you dish is what will come back to you.

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
2:01 pm

He should be able to sue the sht outta her for his false conviction. And you should tell her that if she is REALLY sorry, then she would go to the authorities and own up to her bllsht and attempt to get this man’s name cleared.

Oh..but then…wait, she would then be faced with being charged with filing a false report, purjury, among other things. AND…buddy may have a case for reparations for the State prosecuting based on lies.

Yeah…she’s probably not THAT sorry, huh?

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:02 pm

@SexyC ~ I heard that nonesense. Kim looks like a fool and he looks like a bigger fool for marrying that bottomless pit….

sfw

October 31st, 2011
2:03 pm

She wants forgiveness for free, that is the only reason I made my original post, something small I can let go, once you start taking way more than you ever had the right to, then forgiveness must really be earned.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 31st, 2011
2:06 pm

Slightly different direction. I hate it when a past lover who has dumped you feels compelled to “explain” to you again why you are better off. They aren’t doing it for your sake, they are doing it for their own sakes. “It’s not you, it’s me”….yeah right.

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:06 pm

“…realize it’s done or the damage is too severe to repair.” ~ This should be true, yet I know some diehards who must believe nothing is ever too severe that it can’t be repaired.

@SexyC ~ because he or she may feel worse than whay they feel the mere words “I’m sorry” convey. Some apologize more than once just to drive home the point. It happens quite often…

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:08 pm

Leggs – Kim looks like a fool and he looks like a bigger fool for marrying that bottomless pit….

LOLOLOL…bottomless pit…soo sooo soooo true. Their mama should be crowned queen trash of all and given the lid of the can as the crown to wear. And Bruce is walking around without a pair.

GracieL

October 31st, 2011
2:08 pm

There’s absolutely NO reason to apologize for “not choosing” someone and moving on! Nobody “bleeds” from that, though they might get their feelings hurt a little.

But some people (men AND women) go to great lengths to make another believe they HAVE chosen them, with proclaimations of love and promises they have no intent to keep. For them, it’s normal to deceive and to cover up their deceipt, because they want what they get from you when you think you are truly loved and special to them — things you think because they tell you so with unrelenting regularity. Not talking about sex (as if!) but rather, those extra miles you go for a person when you believe in them, and think they believe in you. Deceipt + Manipulation = BONUS MILES! Some people work that angle on everyone they can, then brag about it to their friends. And if you catch them in the lies… “Hahaha! What, are you an idiot? You believed me? What’s wrong with you? You thought I loved YOU?”

No need to apologize for that. It can’t be fixed.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 31st, 2011
2:10 pm

:-) my ex-wife would every year or two, find a reason to say she was sorry, but then proceed to explain why it was still my fault. Not really an apology at all. Any time soemone says something, then says “but” and then starts explaining, is not apologizing at all.

Chink

October 31st, 2011
2:11 pm

once you start taking way more than you ever had the right to, then forgiveness must really be earned… I like that

Exile…If he want to leave he can GO but don’t string me along in the process that is WRONG. The day I start crying and begging for a dude to be with me I need to be commited to a mental institution because I would not be of sound mind.

Chink

October 31st, 2011
2:13 pm

For them, it’s normal to deceive and to cover up their deceipt, because they want what they get from you when you think you are truly loved and special to them — things you think because they tell you so with unrelenting regularity.

Now Isn’t that just plain Wrong on all Levels..smh ..I hear you Gracie

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:13 pm

By saying “but,” it negates everything that was said before that but!!!!

abc

October 31st, 2011
2:14 pm

Good reason to not communicate with exes, Randy. I’m perfectly happy to have no contact, really! Now and then, once in a great while, an old friend will ask about the ex, and act surprised when I tell them I have absolutely no idea what’s going on with them. Dude, call her up, and don’t feel obligated to update me, really.

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:16 pm

But some people (men AND women) go to great lengths to make another believe they HAVE chosen them, with proclaimations of love and promises they have no intent to keep. For them, it’s normal to deceive and to cover up their deceipt, because they want what they get from you when you think you are truly loved and special to them.

Yep, like the poster who was in bed with her man who didn’t have other gfs but her and he pulls out a weddubg ring for another. I hear ya….

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:18 pm

Did the trolls snatch the regulars from Blogsville? You do know this is the day the trolls roam free without any hassle from anyone.

DreamsMaterialize

October 31st, 2011
2:23 pm

Hey Everyone.

I don’t like to be wrong, so I usually apologize if I am. I don’t wait to do it though. Apologies too long after the fact don’t really have any value. Move on with your life and let me move on with mine. That’s where the growth is.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:23 pm

GracieL – But some people (men AND women) go to great lengths to make another believe they HAVE chosen them….

While I agree with you here, IMO most times it’s bagging for booty, game…of course that’s just my opinion and probably the sceptic/cynic in me…LOL. Not to be the usual contrarian but the onus is on the woman to protect her heart. Sorry but that’s how I feel about it. It’s just not healthy to trust everybody because they say you should. You trust your heart to every Joe Schmoe and you’ll be repairing over and over. I just don’t believe most folks. I know, cynical huh? I dunno I just think if you listen, I mean really listen and pay attention, you can hear and learn a lot. Sometimes let ‘em talk….a while if that’s what you need to extract enough to know whether or not you’re going in with them.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 31st, 2011
2:26 pm

Off topic, but there is one strange story on the AJC webpage. Couple running naked on the road in Snellville, cops knocked at door, they came to the door stil lnaked and tripping hard, had given their dog LSD and he got hit by a car tripping like they were, and the cops found a bong, marijuana, and gummy worms in the house.

My life is seeming rather dull for some reason.

Kym

October 31st, 2011
2:28 pm

@RandyT they gave the dog LSD? WTF!!! Hell I say we are living in hell right now.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 31st, 2011
2:30 pm

@ Kym…yup. I knew a guy when i was in high school who swallowed about thirty tabs of acid to keep from being busted by the cops…fried his brain totally.

Chink

October 31st, 2011
2:33 pm

Apologies too long after the fact don’t really have any value. Move on with your life and let me move on with mine. That’s where the growth is.

Amen

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:34 pm

Knock knock….

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:34 pm

Who’s there?

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:40 pm

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:41 pm

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:42 pm

Weir do you keep you’re Halloween Candy.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:44 pm

Zipping and a zagging, running to back of bldg with my vest over my chest and protecting my head….

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
2:45 pm

Chink!

A man or woman can proclaim luv to you(them) but they are allowed to change their mind!

It’s a courtship and even in marriage folks change their minds too.
Move on for heavens sake!

Maybe u lived him but the favor was not returned….Ultimately.

So the perception that u were strung along is just that…a perception

The moment his(her) actions don’t jibe with the proclamations of luv,it’s on u to leave.

But u cowly and sheepily remain hoping things will change then want to proclaim victim and hurt….

Gimme a break!

Kim K just decided to leave after 90 days coz she realizes her bootey is too Big for that boy!

Even after kisses and I do, I do!

See!

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
2:45 pm

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:46 pm

Zipping and a zagging, running to back of bldg with my vest over my chest and protecting my head….

LOLOL….yeah cause I’m taking my shoe off right about now

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
2:47 pm

I’m going to TP Leggs’ IP addy.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:48 pm

Any grown folks treak or treating tonight?

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:50 pm

I’m getting excited…vacation is about to kick in for me. I’ve only taken 4 days off this year. I have 3 weeks lined up and I’m pumped for being off work :)

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:50 pm

I can’t stop laughing! Those corny jokes crack me up. Heard it on the radio this morning, and I knew you guys would piss all over it…

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:50 pm

Next year, Lord willing I’ll have another week added at my 15 year service mark…woo hoo

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:52 pm

No tricking nor treating for me.

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
2:58 pm

Grown folks trick and treat too

and eat the candie

Holy Jesus!

GracieL

October 31st, 2011
3:04 pm

Celisea,

You’re totally right about a woman needing to guard her heart, and yes, we all know someone we think was totally gullible (I’d never fall for THAT one!), but yet we’ve all been gullible at some point too. It’s not always about the booty, though! THAT goal is fairly easy to see through. Sometimes it’s about money, favors, and climbing the ladder.

SOME people — going back to my initial comment today — are simply sociopaths who have no conscience whatsoever, and for whom the thrill is never “love” but manipulation. Look around: 1 out of 25 people.

We all know somebody who does things we would NEVER do because.. well, we have a conscience! Right? Sometimes it’s even funny or amazing. “Wow, I can’t believe you DID THAT, man!” Guys especially like to marvel at their “friends” like this. It’s because they… don’t.have.one. This simple fact just does not readily compute in the other 96% of us.

Lord Velonese

October 31st, 2011
3:08 pm

When I was younger I had a temper problem, I’m sure everyone has done something we wish we could take back, but in my opinion thats how you learn. I would say I’m not haunted by my past, now days I put out what society does to others. No one has made me aware of a pecking order, so I say it’s fair to give back what society puts out. Turning the other cheek is outdated. So yeah I am a meanie :D

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
3:23 pm

You? A temper problem? Never would have guessed that.

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
3:24 pm

Finally had to say to someone, “Look, I’ve been supportive as I can be in your situation. You, however, have beat me down with all of your negativity. I must withdraw from this pity party.”

Chink

October 31st, 2011
3:25 pm

…are simply sociopaths who have no conscience whatsoever, and for whom the thrill is never “love” but manipulation. I agree

Exile I will not comment because you didnt read nothing I said …

Lord Velonese

October 31st, 2011
3:37 pm

@SC You might think I am bad now but my Temper used to flare up like a un-medicated hemorrhoid over sillier reasons, so I’d say I am doing allot better, still a AH though.

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
3:38 pm

Do you have a gf LordV?

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
3:38 pm

Groupon, Half-Off Depot, AmazonDeals, LivingSocial and the like have GREAT deals every day. So much so, that I’ve had to unsubscribe from all of their emails. I got tired of taking time out of my life to consider whether or not I’d really use the deal from Mario Andretti Racing or half off a month of Zumba.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
3:41 pm

GracieL – Yes we’ve all been a victim somewhere, at some point, during some time. And whether it’s booty, money, favors…doesn’t matter..all ulterior motives. But to have time and/or years spent mulling over and OVERanalyzing won’t change a thing. As hard as it can be you have to pull up and move on. Not saying it’s easy….EVERY woman no doubt has been there. To sit though and wonder how could he, why did he…to overanalyze and mull over just keeps you drowning in it. Them? They’ve gotten what they wanted and in the wind. It’s who they are and what they do. You wondering dang sure won’t change a person’s character. You confronting won’t change a person’s charater. They always say living well is the best revenge. Really that’s about all you can do and take solice in knowing for your honest efforts and intentions somebody just used and moved on, they’ll get theirs.

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
3:43 pm

LV – that’s good to know. Improvement is growth. :)

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
3:43 pm

Maybe I’ll feel better if we just say,’it’s man’s problem!’

U feel better Chink?

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
3:44 pm

LV – I got a temper too. I’m working on it. Seems here of late it’s not taken much to push a button. I was doing really well:) Naw, I’m good…but yeah I have a temper too. My kid’s got one….just great.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
3:45 pm

MMeeloo – LOL…dude sometimes you’re a retard

Chink

October 31st, 2011
3:45 pm

They’ve gotten what they wanted and in the wind. It’s who they are and what they do. You wondering dang sure won’t change a person’s character. You confronting won’t change a person’s charater. They always say living well is the best revenge. Really that’s about all you can do and take solice in knowing for your honest efforts and intentions somebody just used and moved on, they’ll get theirs.

“Clapping”

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
3:47 pm

Celisea?

when a woman starts calling a man she luved names,u know the battle is lost.

Chink’s mind is stuck on ‘men sociopaths’ so u know it’s better I proclaim retard here…

Chink

October 31st, 2011
3:48 pm

Exile..Huh? I am always good….. but I am not playing the blame game …look it boils down to the “intent” Not every guy is bad just like not every lady is good…Choose Wisely.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
3:50 pm

MMeelloo – Stop it…LOL Yeah, go on and claim retard.

Chink

October 31st, 2011
3:50 pm

Exile I was reposting what others said that I happened to agree with …whats the problemo? If I post something and say I agree that means I didnt write that ..you follow me?

Into the Light

October 31st, 2011
3:51 pm

Afternoon, all, and happy halloween!

Lord Velonese

October 31st, 2011
3:51 pm

@Leggs I am casually dating right now, nothing concrete at the moment; I am not ready for that.

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
3:51 pm

somebody just used(u) and moved on…

See….how does a man use u without U using him?

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
3:53 pm

Repost what u absolutely believe in Chink

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
3:53 pm

MMeelloo – See….how does a man use u without U using him?

I’m not going there with you because it won’t be an even debate. You’re going to default to what you usually do. If we could through an argument out there, points made and all…fine. All you’re going to do is sum it with women being dummies…BY YOUR STANDARD. Nope, not doing :)

Chink

October 31st, 2011
3:53 pm

Exile …how does a man use u without U using him? You are 100% correct.

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
3:54 pm

@LV ~ I ask because an Ahole, a self-proclaimed meanie, as you have labeled yourself can put the mean side away enough to get a girl. How often does this side stay hidden? A true ahole couldn’t get the time of day so I doubt you are as mean as you say you are.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
3:54 pm

MMeello – when a woman starts calling a man she luved names,u know the battle is lost.

What do you mean by this statement?

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
3:58 pm

Ok Cel

did u give him money? Men give women money too

did u house him? Men do that to chics too

did U sex him good? I’m sure he did the same

Did u luv him more than he luved U?

now that’s possible,I’ll admit and it can be vice versa too sometimes…

So can’t we All move On instead of holding on

GracieL

October 31st, 2011
4:00 pm

“It’s who they are and what they do. You wondering dang sure won’t change a person’s character. You confronting won’t change a person’s charater.”

Uh, YEAH! That was exactly my point!!! Once you realize that’s what he or she IS, there’s no need to wonder anymore, let alone “forgive.” It’s pointless.

What we CAN DO, for ourselves going forward, and for our friends and loved ones, is to (1) realize that there are people like this, instead of always naively believing that “there’s good in everybody” (heh) and (2) make a choice to not ignore the red flags we have all ignored at one time or another for different reasons. IF WE DON’T LEARN, WE REPEAT. My point is, HEY, let’s LEARN.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
4:13 pm

Stop it MMeelloo.

Into the Light

October 31st, 2011
4:17 pm

Intermission now brought to you by Halloween riddles….

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road???

He didn’t have the guts!!! :lol: :lol:

chink

October 31st, 2011
4:18 pm

Exile what about lies deceit betrayal…those are the things that are not so black and white…

GracieL

October 31st, 2011
4:20 pm

Into the Light,

Skeleton walks into a bar…

Orders a beer and a mop. :lol:

Into the Light

October 31st, 2011
4:20 pm

What kind of mistakes do ghosts make??

Boo-boos…..

Into the Light

October 31st, 2011
4:20 pm

Into the Light

October 31st, 2011
4:25 pm

okay….. ITL tip-toeing out now…..

Purple Reign

October 31st, 2011
4:29 pm

Random thoughts: I did not know Kim Kardashian ever got married. LOL So how is she famous? YOu can go on the internet and see her naked and screwing. Why pay money to see her clothed on tv or at some function? (Internet is free!)

All of this apologizing is BS! If that person means something to you say you apologize and then right whatever wrong that happened. If not who cares?

Purple Reign

October 31st, 2011
4:31 pm

Why are there fences around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in.

Purple Reign

October 31st, 2011
4:32 pm

Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?

It had no body to dance with.

Into the Light

October 31st, 2011
4:41 pm

What do you call a fat jack-o-lantern?

A “plump”kin

Purple Reign

October 31st, 2011
4:46 pm

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
4:48 pm

My turn…

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!!!

Purple Reign

October 31st, 2011
4:49 pm

Sexy Cool, this facepalms for you! LOL

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
4:50 pm

Well, hell, I figured everybody was telling bad jokes…so…

Purple Reign

October 31st, 2011
4:51 pm

Why couldn’t the witch get pregnant?
Her husband had a hollow weenie

Purple Reign

October 31st, 2011
4:52 pm

What is a mummies favorite type of music?
RAP!

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
4:52 pm

That’s actually cute, SexyC!

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
4:52 pm

Exactly, SC, we are all telling bad jokes, except ITL’s two. Those weren’t bad at all….

Purple Reign

October 31st, 2011
4:53 pm

Three vampires go into a bar.
Bartender asks “what’ll it be?”
The first vampire replies “blood”
The second replies “blood”
The third says “plasma”

The barman says “so I got two bloods and a blood light, anything else?”

Ciao’

Into the Light

October 31st, 2011
4:55 pm

LOL@Purp and SC! I LOVE corny jokes and riddles.

Awww, thanks, Leggs. :)