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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Haunted by dating mistakes?

Since today is the day of scary things that are haunted, I thought about those dating mistakes we all make that come back and haunt us later. I hate living with regret, but it really is a part of life. We sometimes second guess the decisions we made or something we did, but have you ever actually been bothered by it later on?

I think it would be helpful to purge the past, open the door of skeletons, and release some of those bad feelings. Who wants to be haunted by their mistakes of their past? I had to look up an old boyfriend and apologize for what I did to him. I could have blamed my youth and stupidity but I owned up to my mistake. It didn’t even matter to him at that point but it did me a boatload of good.

When you look back at your track record, is there anything you wish you had handled differently? Have you thought of apologizing to the people you hurt, misled, or deceived? Do you think they would be open to hearing about your remorse?

What dating mistake are you haunted by?

To those who acknowledge or celebrate the spooky holiday: Happy Halloween!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

170 comments Add your comment

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:23 pm

GracieL – But some people (men AND women) go to great lengths to make another believe they HAVE chosen them….

While I agree with you here, IMO most times it’s bagging for booty, game…of course that’s just my opinion and probably the sceptic/cynic in me…LOL. Not to be the usual contrarian but the onus is on the woman to protect her heart. Sorry but that’s how I feel about it. It’s just not healthy to trust everybody because they say you should. You trust your heart to every Joe Schmoe and you’ll be repairing over and over. I just don’t believe most folks. I know, cynical huh? I dunno I just think if you listen, I mean really listen and pay attention, you can hear and learn a lot. Sometimes let ‘em talk….a while if that’s what you need to extract enough to know whether or not you’re going in with them.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 31st, 2011
2:26 pm

Off topic, but there is one strange story on the AJC webpage. Couple running naked on the road in Snellville, cops knocked at door, they came to the door stil lnaked and tripping hard, had given their dog LSD and he got hit by a car tripping like they were, and the cops found a bong, marijuana, and gummy worms in the house.

My life is seeming rather dull for some reason.

Kym

October 31st, 2011
2:28 pm

@RandyT they gave the dog LSD? WTF!!! Hell I say we are living in hell right now.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 31st, 2011
2:30 pm

@ Kym…yup. I knew a guy when i was in high school who swallowed about thirty tabs of acid to keep from being busted by the cops…fried his brain totally.

Chink

October 31st, 2011
2:33 pm

Apologies too long after the fact don’t really have any value. Move on with your life and let me move on with mine. That’s where the growth is.

Amen

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:34 pm

Knock knock….

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:34 pm

Who’s there?

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:40 pm

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:41 pm

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:42 pm

Weir do you keep you’re Halloween Candy.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:44 pm

Zipping and a zagging, running to back of bldg with my vest over my chest and protecting my head….

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
2:45 pm

Chink!

A man or woman can proclaim luv to you(them) but they are allowed to change their mind!

It’s a courtship and even in marriage folks change their minds too.
Move on for heavens sake!

Maybe u lived him but the favor was not returned….Ultimately.

So the perception that u were strung along is just that…a perception

The moment his(her) actions don’t jibe with the proclamations of luv,it’s on u to leave.

But u cowly and sheepily remain hoping things will change then want to proclaim victim and hurt….

Gimme a break!

Kim K just decided to leave after 90 days coz she realizes her bootey is too Big for that boy!

Even after kisses and I do, I do!

See!

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
2:45 pm

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:46 pm

Zipping and a zagging, running to back of bldg with my vest over my chest and protecting my head….

LOLOL….yeah cause I’m taking my shoe off right about now

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
2:47 pm

I’m going to TP Leggs’ IP addy.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:48 pm

Any grown folks treak or treating tonight?

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:50 pm

I’m getting excited…vacation is about to kick in for me. I’ve only taken 4 days off this year. I have 3 weeks lined up and I’m pumped for being off work :)

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:50 pm

I can’t stop laughing! Those corny jokes crack me up. Heard it on the radio this morning, and I knew you guys would piss all over it…

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
2:50 pm

Next year, Lord willing I’ll have another week added at my 15 year service mark…woo hoo

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
2:52 pm

No tricking nor treating for me.

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
2:58 pm

Grown folks trick and treat too

and eat the candie

Holy Jesus!

GracieL

October 31st, 2011
3:04 pm

Celisea,

You’re totally right about a woman needing to guard her heart, and yes, we all know someone we think was totally gullible (I’d never fall for THAT one!), but yet we’ve all been gullible at some point too. It’s not always about the booty, though! THAT goal is fairly easy to see through. Sometimes it’s about money, favors, and climbing the ladder.

SOME people — going back to my initial comment today — are simply sociopaths who have no conscience whatsoever, and for whom the thrill is never “love” but manipulation. Look around: 1 out of 25 people.

We all know somebody who does things we would NEVER do because.. well, we have a conscience! Right? Sometimes it’s even funny or amazing. “Wow, I can’t believe you DID THAT, man!” Guys especially like to marvel at their “friends” like this. It’s because they… don’t.have.one. This simple fact just does not readily compute in the other 96% of us.

Lord Velonese

October 31st, 2011
3:08 pm

When I was younger I had a temper problem, I’m sure everyone has done something we wish we could take back, but in my opinion thats how you learn. I would say I’m not haunted by my past, now days I put out what society does to others. No one has made me aware of a pecking order, so I say it’s fair to give back what society puts out. Turning the other cheek is outdated. So yeah I am a meanie :D

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
3:23 pm

You? A temper problem? Never would have guessed that.

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
3:24 pm

Finally had to say to someone, “Look, I’ve been supportive as I can be in your situation. You, however, have beat me down with all of your negativity. I must withdraw from this pity party.”

Chink

October 31st, 2011
3:25 pm

…are simply sociopaths who have no conscience whatsoever, and for whom the thrill is never “love” but manipulation. I agree

Exile I will not comment because you didnt read nothing I said …

Lord Velonese

October 31st, 2011
3:37 pm

@SC You might think I am bad now but my Temper used to flare up like a un-medicated hemorrhoid over sillier reasons, so I’d say I am doing allot better, still a AH though.

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
3:38 pm

Do you have a gf LordV?

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
3:38 pm

Groupon, Half-Off Depot, AmazonDeals, LivingSocial and the like have GREAT deals every day. So much so, that I’ve had to unsubscribe from all of their emails. I got tired of taking time out of my life to consider whether or not I’d really use the deal from Mario Andretti Racing or half off a month of Zumba.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
3:41 pm

GracieL – Yes we’ve all been a victim somewhere, at some point, during some time. And whether it’s booty, money, favors…doesn’t matter..all ulterior motives. But to have time and/or years spent mulling over and OVERanalyzing won’t change a thing. As hard as it can be you have to pull up and move on. Not saying it’s easy….EVERY woman no doubt has been there. To sit though and wonder how could he, why did he…to overanalyze and mull over just keeps you drowning in it. Them? They’ve gotten what they wanted and in the wind. It’s who they are and what they do. You wondering dang sure won’t change a person’s character. You confronting won’t change a person’s charater. They always say living well is the best revenge. Really that’s about all you can do and take solice in knowing for your honest efforts and intentions somebody just used and moved on, they’ll get theirs.

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
3:43 pm

LV – that’s good to know. Improvement is growth. :)

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
3:43 pm

Maybe I’ll feel better if we just say,’it’s man’s problem!’

U feel better Chink?

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
3:44 pm

LV – I got a temper too. I’m working on it. Seems here of late it’s not taken much to push a button. I was doing really well:) Naw, I’m good…but yeah I have a temper too. My kid’s got one….just great.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
3:45 pm

MMeeloo – LOL…dude sometimes you’re a retard

Chink

October 31st, 2011
3:45 pm

They’ve gotten what they wanted and in the wind. It’s who they are and what they do. You wondering dang sure won’t change a person’s character. You confronting won’t change a person’s charater. They always say living well is the best revenge. Really that’s about all you can do and take solice in knowing for your honest efforts and intentions somebody just used and moved on, they’ll get theirs.

“Clapping”

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
3:47 pm

Celisea?

when a woman starts calling a man she luved names,u know the battle is lost.

Chink’s mind is stuck on ‘men sociopaths’ so u know it’s better I proclaim retard here…

Chink

October 31st, 2011
3:48 pm

Exile..Huh? I am always good….. but I am not playing the blame game …look it boils down to the “intent” Not every guy is bad just like not every lady is good…Choose Wisely.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
3:50 pm

MMeelloo – Stop it…LOL Yeah, go on and claim retard.

Chink

October 31st, 2011
3:50 pm

Exile I was reposting what others said that I happened to agree with …whats the problemo? If I post something and say I agree that means I didnt write that ..you follow me?

Into the Light

October 31st, 2011
3:51 pm

Afternoon, all, and happy halloween!

Lord Velonese

October 31st, 2011
3:51 pm

@Leggs I am casually dating right now, nothing concrete at the moment; I am not ready for that.

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
3:51 pm

somebody just used(u) and moved on…

See….how does a man use u without U using him?

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
3:53 pm

Repost what u absolutely believe in Chink

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
3:53 pm

MMeelloo – See….how does a man use u without U using him?

I’m not going there with you because it won’t be an even debate. You’re going to default to what you usually do. If we could through an argument out there, points made and all…fine. All you’re going to do is sum it with women being dummies…BY YOUR STANDARD. Nope, not doing :)

Chink

October 31st, 2011
3:53 pm

Exile …how does a man use u without U using him? You are 100% correct.

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
3:54 pm

@LV ~ I ask because an Ahole, a self-proclaimed meanie, as you have labeled yourself can put the mean side away enough to get a girl. How often does this side stay hidden? A true ahole couldn’t get the time of day so I doubt you are as mean as you say you are.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
3:54 pm

MMeello – when a woman starts calling a man she luved names,u know the battle is lost.

What do you mean by this statement?

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
3:58 pm

Ok Cel

did u give him money? Men give women money too

did u house him? Men do that to chics too

did U sex him good? I’m sure he did the same

Did u luv him more than he luved U?

now that’s possible,I’ll admit and it can be vice versa too sometimes…

So can’t we All move On instead of holding on

GracieL

October 31st, 2011
4:00 pm

“It’s who they are and what they do. You wondering dang sure won’t change a person’s character. You confronting won’t change a person’s charater.”

Uh, YEAH! That was exactly my point!!! Once you realize that’s what he or she IS, there’s no need to wonder anymore, let alone “forgive.” It’s pointless.

What we CAN DO, for ourselves going forward, and for our friends and loved ones, is to (1) realize that there are people like this, instead of always naively believing that “there’s good in everybody” (heh) and (2) make a choice to not ignore the red flags we have all ignored at one time or another for different reasons. IF WE DON’T LEARN, WE REPEAT. My point is, HEY, let’s LEARN.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
4:13 pm

Stop it MMeelloo.