accessAtlanta

City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Haunted by dating mistakes?

Since today is the day of scary things that are haunted, I thought about those dating mistakes we all make that come back and haunt us later. I hate living with regret, but it really is a part of life. We sometimes second guess the decisions we made or something we did, but have you ever actually been bothered by it later on?

I think it would be helpful to purge the past, open the door of skeletons, and release some of those bad feelings. Who wants to be haunted by their mistakes of their past? I had to look up an old boyfriend and apologize for what I did to him. I could have blamed my youth and stupidity but I owned up to my mistake. It didn’t even matter to him at that point but it did me a boatload of good.

When you look back at your track record, is there anything you wish you had handled differently? Have you thought of apologizing to the people you hurt, misled, or deceived? Do you think they would be open to hearing about your remorse?

What dating mistake are you haunted by?

To those who acknowledge or celebrate the spooky holiday: Happy Halloween!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

170 comments Add your comment

Kym

October 31st, 2011
9:29 am

Morning-

There is always something I wish I had handled differently. Now I am a firm believer in what’s done is done..I have not misled or decieved anyone but I have cussed many a joker out. Being overly critical is my biggest regret. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so if I see signs that thing are not looking so square..well let’s just say I practice the art of I will get you before you get me. Yeah, I am not big on excuses from folks so I quick to confront, and slow to listen to all the fact. Okay so I tend to overreact..I know shocking!:-) but again sometimes a hissy fit maybe justified..other times..it was just a failure to communicate…that got blown way out of proportion. But I am not going back to make it right..I will just continue to work on myself and learn not to pull the trigger so quick.

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
9:36 am

Good morning.

I really can’t recall any bad mistakes that I need to apologize over that are haunting me. Sure, I’ve made mistakes but nothing that leaves me comfortable walking through life.

The one thing I regret was not punch MJN in the face when he tried to throw me in the pool after I snatched my necklace from his neck. He was a womanizer, a sophisticated con artist and a habitual liar. Well, they all do go hand in hand.

Just found out two weeks ago he’s in a nursing home with out any visitors. That kind of warmed my heart.

MsMarriedUp

October 31st, 2011
9:36 am

The worst one for me used to be married men telling me, and having me believe they were single when they weren’t. That one used to really bother me, which probably was my mistake for getting all adamant about it. Of course I was going to get the answer I wanted to hear.

MsMarriedUp

October 31st, 2011
9:37 am

…and did I foget my Good Morning!?!

Good Morning Leggs and Kym & everyone

Button

October 31st, 2011
9:40 am

First and foremost I would like to THANK YOU Wise for this statement: To those who acknowledge or celebrate the spooky holiday: Happy Halloween! Finally someone who respects that not everyone is into halloween :)

MsMarriedUp

October 31st, 2011
9:41 am

foget!?! good lord, let me get off this thing. Only words I don’t mess up are the wrong ones! D,S,F and such

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
9:44 am

Good morning….brrrrgh :)

Hope everyone had a great weekend. Regrets from the past? Mmmmm not so much. I don’t desire to go back and fix anything as I understand the frame of mind at 20 vs 30 vs 40 is not the same. Yes, many things I should have done differently but could not have simply because what I know now I didn’t know then. How could I? I have been probably too quick on the trigger many times and potentially cut something short that could have survived had I understood patience and compromise. But I like my life just as it is and somethings I’m sure I could still tweak but really it’s not that deep. Life is not intended to be lived going back to undo certain things. What one can do is extract from every experience a lesson learned and do better or differently the next time. Going back though is nonsense…IMO Life is not intended to be lived looking back….the eyes are in front for a reason :)

Hey MsMarriedUp – I’ve only had 3 “real” relationships in which one stepped out. I didn’t actually catch anything but when I confronted he didn’t deny. That sufficed for me. No way was I sticking only to enable more lies…lol What I had to learn (cause I was sooo one where a man was NOT going to cheat), is that I cannot control the actions of others. I had to learn because a person is a liar, that in now way is a reflection on me. And I had to come to know, you can’t change people. I learned for liars to not even tolerate a conversation….it will only produce more lies. Walking away is what I perfected…probably to a fault

Button

October 31st, 2011
9:48 am

I’ve made some dating mistakes but nothing to lose sleep over or give me any nightmares or still haunting me. I do have a bad habit of being too domineering, something I’m ashamed of and wish that I can learn to not be so bossy.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
9:51 am

I have encountered more dudes not hitting on nothing or didn’t want nothing. As a result, my finger if trigger happy when it comes to rift raft. Not only is life too short to go back weeding through and fixing the past, it’s too short for tolerating bullcrappery. Some things shouldn’t amp up to the “regret” column.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
9:54 am

Have ya’ll notice for the last week or so we haven’t been invaded by trolls? I’m trying my best to whisper.

Lady~

October 31st, 2011
10:00 am

Morning MIA! Happy BOO Day! ;)

oneofeach4me

October 31st, 2011
10:01 am

“Life is not intended to be lived going back to undo certain things. What one can do is extract from every experience a lesson learned and do better or differently the next time. Going back though is nonsense…IMO Life is not intended to be lived looking back….the eyes are in front for a reason”

Well… everyone can move on to something else now. Celisea has said it all this morning! I will add that I think what makes it possible to not have to reopen old wounds is to deal with them when they happen. Give yourself closure at each step of the way so you can move on.

DJ Sniper

October 31st, 2011
10:03 am

I’ve never really done anybody particularly dirty, so I’ve never gone back and had to apologize for anything. Last year though, I did get a call from an ex-girlfriend from about 10 years ago. Long story short, she got pregnant and named me as her child’s father, but DNA tests proved otherwise. She called me up to apologize for all the drama she put me through during that time. She told me some stuff that went down with her when she was younger and why that caused her to act the way she did. That was very big of her, and I accepted her apology.

Lady~

October 31st, 2011
10:05 am

yeah what oneofeach4me and Celisea said……..sums it up…….

abc

October 31st, 2011
10:12 am

I figure that for those I treated inappropriately, there’s no way I’m going to risk opening up old wounds by contacting them, just to make myself feel better; and for those that did me wrong, I appreciate their leaving me alone, too. What’s done is done. I learned to think before I acted, considering if I wanted to live with the consequences of my actions, not the least of which is regret.

Lady~

October 31st, 2011
10:15 am

good post abc!

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
10:18 am

There are a few times that I wish that I would have left sooner or actually run fast in the other damn direction period. But alas, c’est la vie. Life lived. Lesson learned.

O/T – I caught a piece of the Rickey Smiley Morning Show this morning. I guess they had a numerologist/fortune teller/something on this morning. This chick called in and asked, “Is my ex going to leave his wife and come back to me? He got married on me, while we were together.” Just hearing that question angered, sickened and stirred pity in me all at the same time. Like…seriously?!?!?

Mike P

October 31st, 2011
10:26 am

Shame on you Leggs, that was mean, and you know it! Everyone deserves love and happiness, even the players. lol

I said it here before and I’ll say it here again, some (not all, but some) “players” both male and female, became that way because of someone else has broken their li’l hearts.

:evil: whoooooooaaa :evil:!!!! :twisted: :P

October 31st, 2011
10:29 am

Http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgCdynUFI1S

abc

October 31st, 2011
10:31 am

I agree with Mike P — for me personally, when a young man, I just plainly didn’t give a sheeot whether I hurt feelings or was a total dog with chicks, due to a broken heart. I hurt a lot of people. There is, in fact, only 1 woman that I give a dayum about in that regard to this very day, she is the only girl for me. The rest can scuffle, not my problem.

Maybe I haven’t matured that much yet!

:evil: whoooooooaaa :evil:!!!! :twisted: :P

October 31st, 2011
10:34 am

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
10:46 am

Good morning, MsMarriedUp.

@MikeP ~ I have to agree with was mean, but when I heard that he’s in a nursing home, I smiled. I really did. Karma is a mofo when you messing with other people’s emotions and $$.

Halloween Joke: WITHOUT GOOGLING, use your imagination.

The person who invented it doesn’t want it.
The person who bought it doesn’t need it.
The person who need it doesn’t know it.

What is it?

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 31st, 2011
10:47 am

I guess my biggest dating mistake I can recollect immediately was emailing someoneIi was interested in from another lady I was seeing’s computer …and got caught!!! It nipped in the bud a blooming relationship with what was probably the better of the two ladies. We stayed together for another year and a half, but things never got back to where they had been. It can take years to build trust, and only an instant to blow it. For the record, I was newly divorced and had no idea what I wanted…and like most guys, I wanted it all. Big mistake.

Learned the hard way to take one at a time.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 31st, 2011
10:49 am

Dayum Leggs…in a nursing home? (I hope I die before I get sent to a nursing home…unless it is filled with loose old ladies maybe and I can fantasize with my eyes shut).

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
10:51 am

Randyt!

that’s a playa move!

Haunted?

does having a baby mama for lyfe count?

whatever I do,where I go,whatever woman I am with,u can never shake off that woman(en).

Yea,until I die,Ian haunted.

:evil:

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
10:52 am

I am haunted!

Lady~

October 31st, 2011
10:56 am

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
11:15 am

“I’m trying my best to whisper.” = my morning chuckle!!!

Kym

October 31st, 2011
11:20 am

Okay I am in need of a nap..I actually dozed off at my desk..

OT: Does anyone know how the battery life is holding up in the new iphone..me and blackberry maybe parting ways soon.

Mike P

October 31st, 2011
11:20 am

@Leggs:

Halloween Joke: WITHOUT GOOGLING, use your imagination.

The person who invented it doesn’t want it.
The person who bought it doesn’t need it.
The person who need it doesn’t know it.

What is it?

I’m stumped… :(

SexyCool

October 31st, 2011
11:22 am

I’m about six weeks away from being out of my contract on my BB. So, I will probably soon be replacing my two year old BB and will even consider leaving Sprint. I welcome all information and suggestions – especially those about plans that are best for texting and data usage.

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
11:24 am

Anybody else ready for the answer or are some of you still trying to figure it out?

Chink

October 31st, 2011
11:25 am

Not being haunted …I have always been honest and upfront but I cannot say the same for my “significant others”. Randy I believe alot of guys are like your example of what you have done in the past.

One lesson learned for me is not giving any more chances …You don’t even get 1 ..you just blew it. Seems harsh but saves me a headache of having to decipher who gives a eff or who doesn’t!

Robert

October 31st, 2011
11:27 am

There are several mistakes I wish I could take back. I wish I saw the future in 1984 when I met Oprah when she was in Baltimore working in a radio station. I was young and not yet skilled in the game of love. Maybe just maybe…..

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 31st, 2011
11:27 am

Okay, second mistake that screwed a date up…”nair”ing my hairy azz back the night before a hot date. My back stung and then stuck to her sheets, pulled skin off and got blood all over her sheets. May be a connection between that and not being invited back.

GracieL

October 31st, 2011
11:27 am

The sociopath. Don’t blame myself for the first time, because he’s very clever and knows how to pretend to be exactly what his victim wants. Falling prey to him again, years later, is something for which I cannot forgive myself.

It’s like the parable of the young woman who saves the frozen snake during a snowstorm, brings him inside, thaws him out, and feeds him through the winter. In spring, he sinks his sharp teeth into her, releasing his venom into her flesh. As the neurotoxins spread unspeakable pain throughout her body, and she begins to lose consciousness, she asks, “WHY? Why did you do this to me after I saved you?” The cold-eyed, soul-less snake responded, “I’m a snake. That’s what I do, and you knew that when you saved me.”

There’s just no way to fix it.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
11:29 am

MMeelloo – Haunted? does having a baby mama for lyfe count?whatever I do,where I go,whatever woman I am with,u can never shake off that woman(en).Yea,until I die,Ian haunted.

LOLOLOL…you ought to stop. Haunted how? All you need to do is take care of your parental responsibilities. Unless you’re creeping with the baby’s mama or she’s still hanging on, it should just be you and the kid as far as interacting and relating. No? It was funny when I read it though. Sometimes those consequences far outweigh the fun…don’t they?

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
11:37 am

That was a great example, GracieL. A leopard doesn’t change its spots.

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
11:40 am

It should be you and the kid as far as interacting….

Celisea?

I wish!

It never is the way u put it there…coz she’s a parent too!

Even if I consciously make her expire or she(baby) expires by some other means.

How can u look at your kid and not see the mother or father?

When my boy starts having a deeper voice,I’m going bless him with lots of condoms and be candid with him about Daddy’s countless horny mistakes.

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
11:41 am

I meant (baby mama)

Leggs

October 31st, 2011
11:41 am

DRUMROLL….{{BOOM BOOM BOOM}}

Answer: A Coffin!!

Kym

October 31st, 2011
11:44 am

I think there should be a blog Holiday shindig.

abc

October 31st, 2011
11:47 am

Personally, I don’t have any communications with my kids’ mom, and when I’m with them I’m not thinking of her at all. I suppose it changes once the kids grow up and are out of the house. I’m actually happy to be out of touch with their mom.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
11:48 am

Exiled – How can u look at your kid and not see the mother or father?

Easily….very. I see her and I see him. I see it in her facial expressions, mannerisims, actions (Jesus…her actions) but I’m over that. Soooo, I don’t “see him”….not like that anyway. I just don’t. I’m not cold or callous but I’m over it…period. Have been a long time. There was a time though I was where. How old is the kid. Some won’t appreciate it but I don’t care….I prefer things stay JUST LIKE THIS….him out of my life and hers. I don’t where he is in life as it relates to how he’s faring but my experience and last interaction was him being a toxic person. He was willing to up his stance and do/get better. So I closed the door on that. I don’t wish him ill but I don’t want him anywhere near me or my kid.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

October 31st, 2011
11:51 am

I’ve made my apologies, because I was wrong.

Whether taken at face value or sincerely is a matter for that female. For me, it’s not about guilt, but the acceptance that I was wrong – dead wrong in some cases.

If/when I’ve felt the need to state that, I have. Not for ‘closure’, moreso, for betterment of my character.

Exiled!

October 31st, 2011
11:53 am

Abc, I think u explained it better,’once the kids are grown’

mine not grown yet,so

Celisea,for u,’I don’t want him anywhere near me nor my kid’

now I’m not there with u but if that was my case as well,it would make my being haunted look even worse. That’s Anger right there!

U sure u not Haunted more than I am?

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
11:54 am

Yep….I hadn’t seen abc’s 11:47 but that’s where I stand. I’ve pretty much done it by myself and I’m all the better woman for it. I have absolutey no regrets about it. I don’t buy men not being able to do it…it’s possible. It’s not easy but there a reserve you just draw from and get it done. Like I said he spent about 7 years whining about “not seeing his kid”….I didn’t prevent him per se, but if he wanted to do the dang thing, he could have. I cut my losses when she was a tot. No way I was going to drag dead weight on my leg for the next 18 years. That made my road and my travel that much lighter :)

Chink

October 31st, 2011
11:55 am

Dan I can respect that ..those who don’t have the gumption to face what they did ..I feel sorry for.

Celisea

October 31st, 2011
11:55 am

MMeello – That’s Anger right there!

Boy stop. I have fun a hundred times over since my days with her dad. I’ve had a couple of boyfriends since then…lol Trust me, THERE IS NOTHING THERE…NOTHING…lol

Mike P

October 31st, 2011
11:57 am

@Leggs: Okay I would have never guessed Lolol :D