New relationship? Avoid Facebook
So you are excited about your new guy/girl. Things are going so well, you just can’t believe it. You are both on the same page – Great! Just don’t get on the same Facebook page. No good can come from it.
Sometimes new relationships are fragile. The slightest bump can cause a crack and it all becomes a mess in a matter of hours. I just watched a new relationship plummet to the breakup abyss because a certain guy had not let it be known he was off the market.
What looked to be an innocent comment left on his Facebook wall by an ex-fling/girl of the week/booty call contact, became the source of a huge fight. Could this have happened if not for Facebook? It’s possible. I just believe that until you are in a solid, trusting relationship, Facebook contact with your new guy/girl should be avoided.
Do you think that social media is to blame for a lot of break ups and dating drama? So many things can be misconstrued and misinterpreted, but we insist on finding ways to put it all out there.
What is the best way to handle a misunderstanding that happens on Twitter, Facebook, etc.? Would you ever confront the person you are dating about something they said or had said to them?
Is this another dating challenge we have to contend with or is it really about how you handle it?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
accessAtlanta Partner Sites
Sections
Advertise on accessAtlanta.com »
Reach the audience you want by advertising on accessAtlanta.com
Join the Access Atlanta Network »
Advertisers and Publishers, expand your reach by joining the Access Atlanta Network.
Tell us what you think about the site
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement | About our ads
© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
294 comments Add your comment
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
10:29 am
Every dang this is getting blocked here. I can’t even access the Strawberry letter to READ anymore…gheesh.
Pinky
October 24th, 2011
10:29 am
And Halloween Is Coming Up…So get Ready for everyone and They Mama To Post their Halloween Pics on Facebook…
I need to get the Pink Limo Reservation..lol
Tech '10
October 24th, 2011
10:33 am
facebook went down the tube once it expanded to people outside of college age. Facebook used to be a really efficient way to organize events and keep in contact with college aged people. Now, facebook is pretty much a waste of time and effort and I wouldn’t bother dating someone who had their entire life on facebook anyways. Why do I want to see pictures of you and your ex from last year, I don’t. Mark Z is the real life Ken Castle, look it up (imdb) if you don’t know who I’m talking about.
@Tommy- that is a pretty terrible way to find out about cheating, not gonna lie.
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
10:34 am
thing not this
Pinky
October 24th, 2011
10:34 am
@Tech 10
Cosign on that Post about facebook just needs to limit itself to the college cats…I joined there in 2004 when I was 20 and in college…That site goes more and more to the toilet the more it changes…
czBrat
October 24th, 2011
10:36 am
wow! peaches, soooo feeling your post.
i may only check in a couple times a week, but when i do i make it a point to be supportive of anything positive that folks are putting out there. i offer encouragement where i think it’s needed. i gloss over trivial stuff simply because it is of no concern to me,
and you can always block posts from people who do the real time play-by-play of their life as it happens.
ironic
October 24th, 2011
10:38 am
I find it funny all the people that criticize those on FB….are hanging out on a blog.
Leggs
October 24th, 2011
10:38 am
@Pinky ~ keep drinking those 30 packs and I guarantee your ass won’t remain narrow.
@kimmie ~ I heard the letter and was so hoping you were listening. That mama needs to be tarred and feathered. That young man needs to stay focus, but it won’t be easy. What I found interesting to be omitted was his notion of self-worth. You are only a product of your environment if you let it be. So what his mother told him all men were nasty dogs. He didn’t have to go out and prove her right by disrepecting those young ladies he found willing to deal with him. This time, Steve gave some good advice.
@Celisea ~ Had to switch form the Ouija boards. I would never touch one (yep, I’m a punk in that regard).
czBrat
October 24th, 2011
10:38 am
celisea, we did the cocktails and canvas in brookwood this weekend; my future SIL & her daughter, my daughter and myself. it was fun!! definitely going to do it again.
and yeah. it was kinda sweet to wake up sunday and see that thing 1 had checked in and posted on her FB page that she was “having fun painting with mommy”. <3
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
10:39 am
Even to LinkedIn. I was getting updates from folks when they just “thought” about changing careers. I simply don’t care what other folks are doing. Naturally I blocked any feeds or updates from populating my profile.
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
10:41 am
czBrat – celisea, we did the cocktails and canvas in brookwood this weekend; my future SIL & her daughter, my daughter and myself. it was fun!! definitely going to do it again.
Awwww, that sounds like it was a blast. Good for you and the FB posting…lol
abc
October 24th, 2011
10:41 am
I find it funny all the people that criticize those on FB….are hanging out on a blog.
That’s because you’re an idiot. ‘Hanging out on a blog’? Now, a lot of folks posting here appear to have little else to do during the course of a day, that’s true; but ‘hanging out on a blog’? Come on.
Leggs
October 24th, 2011
10:41 am
I for one am not necessarily criticizing FB. I’m criticizing relationships falling in the gutter as a result of FB.
Leggs
October 24th, 2011
10:42 am
GlammourGirl
October 24th, 2011
10:43 am
@kimmie – I kinda half heard the strawberry letter, wasn’t fully paying attention. Did he say that his mom was putting holes in his condoms or did I mishear that?
Tech '10
October 24th, 2011
10:44 am
Pinky: I had to be invited to FB from a current member who was in college already. Now everyone and anyone can get on it. I am extremely private with my postings, but its still not the same. There are too many people trying to spy on everyone else.
kimmie
October 24th, 2011
10:45 am
Celisea – A woman wrote in about 3 or 4 weeks ago about her 19 year old son that she found out had fathered 14 kids. She supposedly had DNA tests done on I think 18 women & 14 of the kids turned out to be his. Her biggest concern? She was worried she would show favoritism to some of the grandkids!!
The 19yr old supposedly heard the letter and responded. He said his mother always told him growing up that all men were no good including him. He said 10 of those kids are her fault because she got into his condoms and poked holes in them! He said he is working at a plant that pays $1000 per week and is taking college classes online. He said he does what he can to help the mothers out, they all know about each other and he sees the kids when he is off. He said 5 of the kids are out of state, so he calls them often. He is trying to be a good father but is scared he will have to turn to the streets to get more money to provide for them.
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
10:47 am
Ironically ironic all you know here are monikers. No real names, birthdays, hair color, size, s
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
10:48 am
Somehow I must have press a “hot button” because I didNOT hit enter…I wasn’t finished.
Ironically ironic all you know here are monikers. No real names, birthdays, hair color, size, state of residence, place of employment, whether or not siblings, children, if in relationship, etc… Nothing else do you know outside of a moniker. While I agree it’s a form of social media, the intended purpose to talk and exchange ideas and thoughts. Not quite the same as FB.
Leggs
October 24th, 2011
10:50 am
@abc ~ hopefully, I didn’t ruin the streak by responding to you. I know you like to ignore me. Just thought that was funny!
@Celisea ~ don’t forget what FB is truly for, the exchange of pictures. We don’t do that here (well kinda sorta we don’t do that (lololol).
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
10:54 am
Kimmie – She was worried she would show favoritism to some of the grandkids!!
Please please please say it ain’t so. Then to poke holes in his condoms?? Just wow to having 14 kids. I think he’s going to have a long road. I think all the mamas are going to have to be understanding that he won’t be able to provide sufficient income. I don’t know how he can divide his time in spending quality time with each kid. I would say though where there’s a will there’s always a way.
And if it’s true what he says about his mama (cause I’m wondering how he now knows), he still can shriek the responsibility of having sex all willy nilly. Of course if what he says is true, his mama should have been teaching him early on how not to just stick it any and everywhere but rather……..never mind. I feel bad for him. It will be a hard road but if he’s a man of true intent he’ll make it happen.
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
10:56 am
Exactly Leggs. Even so (to picture exchaning), this is not the engine like FB. That’s something folks decide to do absent of the blog.
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
10:59 am
Why do folks at work call me when really what they need is something they can do but requires too much effort???
One of our clients need money advanced and someone is sending me an IM. Ummm, pick up the phone and call the area that handles. I was all nice and pleasant but deferred to someone else. Even to that she was too lazy to find the extension. I gave suggested the tool to look the number up….she wanted me to do it for her…..NOT!!!
SexyCool
October 24th, 2011
10:59 am
There is an option of FB to not display your relationship status at all.
Leggs
October 24th, 2011
11:00 am
@Celisea ~ her main area of concer question of how can she avoid showing favoritism was met with disbelief by many. Now, knowing she poked holes is the condoms helps one better understand that bizzare concern.
Leggs
October 24th, 2011
11:03 am
Heck,how did he get 14 women to sleep with him in one year? Well, perhaps there are some twins among all these children. Those young, fast girls also bear some of the blame!
Leggs
October 24th, 2011
11:05 am
I see my typing is way off too early this morning.
Kym
October 24th, 2011
11:06 am
Good Morning All,
Okay not sure if everyone is still on topic..but I think I saw a posting of how FB is for staying intouch with love ones. It was because of FB that I was able to get back intouch with cousins on my mama’s side of the family. My mama was an only child and her side of the family is fairly small. One of my cousin’s saw me on FB and they got in touch and we all reconnected. It also allows my son to stay in touch with his Dad’s family..they can keep up with him and see photos from his football games. Again if used properly it works just fine
Mo (aka Moeisha)
October 24th, 2011
11:07 am
Wow! So FB is this much a nuisance huh?
Now granted there are some that I feel post way too much personal info on FB but hey, to each his own. But in terms of affecting relationships? Now THAT is something altogether different.
Ive had no issues with FB period, however I always thought the ’status’ thing was a bit much.
Im going to keep lurking on this one, but like someone said ‘hopefully we are done with this issue’.
Oh and good morning everyone!
SexyCool
October 24th, 2011
11:08 am
I am quite comfortable with my use of FB. I FB for myself and regardless of what my reasons are, I could care less what others think. Anyone that is an FB friend of mine and does not approve of my use of FB is more than welcome to unfriend. Anyone else is welcome to NEVER friend me. And for the rest who don’t even have an FB account, well, then…I guess it’s a moot point, huh?
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
11:09 am
Leggs – Which is about as stupid as stupid can get. Never once did she think about bringing children into an environment shared by 14 children, the children of a boy himself…heck he’s only 19 and no doubt (some) will fall prey and through the cracks. I could be wrong but in this case, not saying he can’t overcome but those baby mamas will need to be on point and “act” as sole support and provider to ensure they’re grounded and gotten off on a good foot. I mean I hope he can but in this case I’m leaning to the mamas. His mama should be put away somewhere and grow the heck up. As For Real would assume, she must be about 3 years older than him.
Leggs
October 24th, 2011
11:09 am
@Kym ~ that’s how FB should be used…not as a mechanism to find past loves and cheat.
SexyCool
October 24th, 2011
11:10 am
I think both of those Strawberry letters are made up. I think they should begin screening the letters…unless…it is actually a marketing ploy. (Gotta keep selling those books….)
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
11:10 am
Most times I do too.
SexyCool
October 24th, 2011
11:11 am
Yep…I do believe the Strawberry Letter has “jumped the shark.”
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
11:12 am
That’s why most days I tune in somewhere else.
Leggs
October 24th, 2011
11:12 am
Cold Cuts Artist is Patrice Rushen (404) 741-1075. Tickets to see La La Hathaway this weekend.
Exiled!
October 24th, 2011
11:13 am
Scool?
Why are u so defensive and not positive about ur use of FB?
Are U an attention whore on there?
Leon Phelps....Live and In color!!!
October 24th, 2011
11:13 am
Well Damn!!! Blaming Facebook for grown folks doing stupid isht is kinda like blaming the shot glass for dude being a drunk, or the miniskirt for that girl being a Wh**re………
SexyCool
October 24th, 2011
11:15 am
If you interpreted my post as defensive, that is certainly a position to which you are entitled.
kimmie
October 24th, 2011
11:17 am
Those young, fast girls also bear some of the blame!
Leggs – There is enough “blame” to pass around in this case. I would not necessarily put the “fast” label on all the women either. That’s too easy to do and done too often, in my opinion. Looks like an attempt at birth control was made because condoms, though tampered, were used. Yeah, his mom is totally foul, but I still have a lot of questions for him. Looks like he’s been sticking it everywhere he can, so looks like most of the “fastness” lies with him. And how did he find out about his mom poking holes is my question too. Seems a bit suspicious.
hazel
October 24th, 2011
11:19 am
gud morning
the whole status thing on facebook is high school Unless you are married, don’t be putting, “its complicated” and stuff like that. We dn’t care.
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
11:19 am
And how did he find out about his mom poking holes is my question too
Exactly…thus there’s a cast of “fake” over the entire scenario. But that’s what I was thinking. How come (yes…how come) his mama didn’t talk to him about sticking everything with a pulse??? THAT’S my question.
Leggs
October 24th, 2011
11:21 am
@kimmie ~ you made excellent points, especially about the label “fast.” We do tend to automatically think a young pregnancy occurred because of some fast arse teenybopper. I stand corrected and will think in the future before actually using that word.
Is Mama may write another letter herself explaining the holes or even call in. They just may have found their 15 mins of fame.
kimmie
October 24th, 2011
11:21 am
SCool – I also think the letters were made up. I’m talking about them as if they were not, but deep down I think they are. The SL actually jumped the shark with me awhile back. Most of them are stupid, and usually I just listen to see how stupid they are & don’t wait on the response. This morning I did not want to hear the seance stuff on Q100, so the Letter won out!LOL!!
SexyCool
October 24th, 2011
11:24 am
Today…this promotion is good for a $55 dollar discount on the New Orleans Half Marathon to be held on March 4, 2012
http://runrocknroll.competitor.com/2011/09/new-orleans/saints-victory-savings_19053
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
11:24 am
Too, IMO it’s a ploy (if indeed fake) for Steve to spout advice. It’s just so amazing how all the letters resemble in nature. Dumb women caught up and BAM, Steve is there to rescue with his “do better” advice. Every blue moon a man is tossed in the mix but c’mon, I don’t know too many folks (period) having affairs and if so, writing in or advice on how to transition from side to main chick or some other dumb stuff.
Lauren
October 24th, 2011
11:25 am
I have been in a relationship with my man for 5 years. I have no interest in being his FB friend. We trust each other, and don’t see the need to invite drama to our good thing. He has a lot of girl friends, I have a lot of guy friends. And both sides of the fence know that he and I are in a relationship. There is no need to “post” on each other’s wall, nor “poke” each other. So why be FB friends? If he questioned me and my intentions, he could ask me to see my page and that would not be a problem, and likewise me to him. People get so bent out of shape over silly things. If you don’t trust your partner over something as trivial as FB, then how in the world can your relationship be sustainable in a healthy fashion? Don’t invite drama, and you won’t get any drama.
SexyCool
October 24th, 2011
11:25 am
Seance? (lmao)
Celisea
October 24th, 2011
11:25 am
Let me be specific…I don’t know any folks having affairs
Alright I gotta work….coffee/breakfast break over