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Sex: Does it mean anything?

A friend of mine is knee-deep in a relationship that she didn’t go looking for. Apparently, it was one of those booty call to boyfriend kind of transitions that isn’t necessarily premeditated.

One could argue that once sex is introduced in a dating relationship, it changes the dynamics. Does it have to mean the same thing to both of you? When do you know that it does or when it doesn’t?

Sex doesn’t always mean exclusivity, but do you think it should?

What impact, if any, do you think sex has on a new relationship?

506 comments Add your comment

UGA 1999

October 19th, 2011
11:34 am

gapeach…boasting NO….this is a blog this what people do is talk! hahaha

gapeach

October 19th, 2011
11:35 am

Sex obviously doesn’t mean anything to some people here, just looking to get there rocks off. gross.

Legg Lover

October 19th, 2011
11:36 am

Sex heightens the intimacy level…its awesome when it happens with someone that you know and like.

Purple Reign

October 19th, 2011
11:37 am

Leggs, it was for some of the stuff that I am reading.

hazel

October 19th, 2011
11:39 am

It all depends on the individuals. To some, its just for entertainment, for some it is everything.
But It should mean a lot in reality, as you are sharing something very special. Also, make sure that the other person is on the same page so that you do not waste it on anyone worthless.

UGA 1999

October 19th, 2011
11:39 am

It is amazing to me how judgemental some of the people are on this blog.

Exiled!

October 19th, 2011
11:42 am

Legg lover?

You know and like = FWB with a friend?

that’s what u mean??

I can see cuddling there if it’s a real friend

Someone u want just for their physical attributes does not equate to liking them
There,u don’t cuddle. Just znutt and Go :arrow:

gapeach

October 19th, 2011
11:42 am

Hard not to judge someone that comes off rather crude.
But my judgement means nothing, but His does.

BluEyedGurl

October 19th, 2011
11:42 am

@Leggs – no he was a manager at my old company. I thought we were more than FWB but apparently not. One nt we were laying in bed and he pulled out an engagement ring…he confessed it was not for me but for his gf he had been seeing for 5 weeks…that’s when it ended. We had had the discussion many times and I always got the answer of you are the only woman I’m seeing but we can’t go public because of my position at the company…shouldve read the signs I know. Turns out there were 5 other girls at the company doing the same thing with him. I feel shameful and dirty but am a more attentive person from it. And yes, he is now engaged and the fiance and child are living with him

hazel

October 19th, 2011
11:44 am

there should be a lot more to a relationship than being physical. a lot more…

Purple Reign

October 19th, 2011
11:44 am

UGA I don’t think it’s being judgmental some people just don’t want to hear or read about certain things….but you are free to type what you want…sometimes there will be some who disagree with what is typed and will express so

Legg Lover

October 19th, 2011
11:48 am

@blueyedgurl…OUCH!!! That stinks! What a tool!!!!

UGA 1999

October 19th, 2011
11:48 am

Nah it is cool….I am out….you guys have a great day.

cba

October 19th, 2011
11:50 am

…….tail between legs……..

Purple Reign

October 19th, 2011
11:52 am

Well BlueyedGirl, hope you learned your lesson

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 19th, 2011
11:56 am

…….tail between legs……..

:lol:

happens errtime…

Leggs

October 19th, 2011
11:56 am

WHAT!!!! A man actually had the nerve to do that, while lying in bed together. You should have gone to the kitchen and thrown hot grits on him just for being stupid. I digress….

That’s deep, BlueEye.

@cba ~ YEP!

Exiled!

October 19th, 2011
11:57 am

BlueEyed??

now when u hear of ’sweet nothings’,u know what that means!

it’s a he’ll of a drug…these droppings man got!

Leggs

October 19th, 2011
11:58 am

Maybe not stupid, but for being so insensitive…..

Leggs

October 19th, 2011
11:59 am

The deposit pouch is also a he’ll of a drug, Ex!!!!

Purple Reign

October 19th, 2011
12:01 pm

Leggs, do you really believe it went down like that? Besides she should have been out of the relationship once he decided to keep her out of public view.

BluEyedGurl

October 19th, 2011
12:04 pm

He did, he did. My fault tho…shouldve read the warning signs

And so sorry for telling the details lol…guess I needed to vent to the unknowns

Celisea

October 19th, 2011
12:04 pm

When there are only two things you’re limited to discussing and usually slickly thrown up in the mix…RACE and extra-marital affairs, well…. Never an ebb and flow, never anything new, just RACE and how cute you find it banging the little league mommies

But yeah, come on back and chat awhile

Exiled!

October 19th, 2011
12:04 pm

If u say so Leggs but if u lay,we mount.

and don’t be aksing after,’are we exclusive?’

and if I say ‘No’ u retort,’so why u f-ck me?’

grrrrrrrrrr!

Celisea

October 19th, 2011
12:05 pm

BluEyedGurl – I dunno, I can’t be empathetic but no knocks. Glad you got out.

cba

October 19th, 2011
12:06 pm

Leggs~ i had to concentrate and only type one “g” :-)

Legg Lover

October 19th, 2011
12:06 pm

It’s great to vent…you can’t hold onto that kinda stuff…it will eat you up.

Leggs

October 19th, 2011
12:06 pm

Hoped “not going public” meant just at their place of employment. I sure hope he took her out sometimes and they didn’t just do the do every time they met.

Is this the case, BlueEye??? Also any man that says “ou are the only woman I’m seeing but we can’t go public because of my position at the company” should have been a gigantic red flag for you.

Kym

October 19th, 2011
12:07 pm

@Blueeyes…honey don’t let anyone make you feel bad for this…8 million stories and everyone has a story of believe, going along with and doing something foolish. It happened..you know better now..so you will hopefully past on this experience to someone else involved in the same situation. The more you know…

Celisea

October 19th, 2011
12:07 pm

I can’t see how you went for the not going public either. If you ain’t married then, well…if it’s a work policy thing then it would just have to be a no go.

kimmie

October 19th, 2011
12:08 pm

Afternoon gang!

Sorry, but I’m not buying it Blu. Just don’t believe anyone is that stupid or that crass.

On topic – Sure physical changes things. How it changes things vary. No, it doesn’t mean anything until it does – someone catches feelings, a disease, a baby. We aren’t animals, though some of us behave as such.

What’s going on with everyone this rainy Wednesday?

Celisea

October 19th, 2011
12:08 pm

“if you aint’ married” being him

But yeah, what matters is that you’re out and moving on.

Legg Lover

October 19th, 2011
12:08 pm

Totally agree Kym…we all have past regrets…not here to judge or whatever. Live, learn, and move on.

UGA 1999

October 19th, 2011
12:09 pm

WOW it is nice to see that you all are sympathetic to the females on the blog….not so much for the males.

Leggs

October 19th, 2011
12:10 pm

@Ex ~ you must have been boning some young foolish girls if ever an exchange like that took place.

@cba ~ too funny. I do understand.

Legg Lover

October 19th, 2011
12:11 pm

@Kimmie..what’s up??? Just procrastinating at work…LOL

Exiled!

October 19th, 2011
12:11 pm

Kimmie?

some women are desperately foolish(for marriage or boyfriend or both)…and they swallow hook line and sinker..every morsel of playadom..

Yes they are there

disco

October 19th, 2011
12:11 pm

hey everybody. as many have stated – you just never know. I know several people who married the so called one-night stand. I’ve got one friend who married her next door neighbor. I know of several interoffice romances that turned into marriages. I’m not the overly emotional type, far from clingy. in fact I’m often mistaken as being cold and emotionless. I was just raised to “check my feelings at the door”. not saying I don’t have them but I don’t get caught up in them and certainly don’t hang them on my sleeve for public view.

Leggs

October 19th, 2011
12:12 pm

Crass is much bettern than insensitive…thanks.

Purple Reign

October 19th, 2011
12:13 pm

As a man I don’t need sympathy. Live learn fight another day.

disco

October 19th, 2011
12:14 pm

blueyedgurl – dang. while in bed he pulled out a ring and said it was for someone else? that’s deep…

Exiled!

October 19th, 2011
12:14 pm

Leggs?

u are now a woman that’s why u say that

these chronicles start the moment u go past puberty

U tell me,in ur entire lifetime,nobody got some from u but went away coz they weren’t feeling u like that?

Really?

Leggs

October 19th, 2011
12:16 pm

Not, Ex! Even as a young woman I would never have said any of that!

In my ENTIRE life, I’ve always had repeats.

DreamsMaterialize

October 19th, 2011
12:19 pm

Not that its a big deal, but I don’t see anybody on any of the other blogs wishing “Good Morning.”
kirk That’s because the other blogs dispense with the pleasantries, immediately drawing their left/right lines in the sand, all jockeying to make the most witty personal attack of the day.

gapeach

October 19th, 2011
12:19 pm

Purple I like the way you think. (:

kimmie

October 19th, 2011
12:20 pm

Exiled – I don’t doubt such airheadness exists with some women and men too. It’s some panty-wearing dudes out there. I’ve seen such on display with both genders. I think we’ve all had our turn at stupid to varying degrees.

I also have a hard time believing dude pulled out a ring for some other chick when he supposedly told her she was the only one he was seeing. Stuff like that will get your d– chopped off. She could have snapped on him.

Something about this whole thing is just not adding up to me, just get a vibe. Not saying it’s not possible, but like Purple, just don’t think it all went down that way.

Exiled!

October 19th, 2011
12:22 pm

Repeats… u asked for a repeat and not in a carrot and stick,bargaining tool type deal?

Leggs:hey Buga,can I come over?

Buga: agghh,I told u Leggs we done!

Leggs: just this one time baby,I like how u move

Buga

Leggs

October 19th, 2011
12:23 pm

“…pulled out a ring for some other chick when he supposedly told her she was the only one he was seeing.” Excellent point.

Exiled!

October 19th, 2011
12:23 pm

Bug:: ok just once more, bring some Altoids

Celisea

October 19th, 2011
12:24 pm

Stuff like that will get your d– chopped off. She could have snapped on him.

Believe that! We won’t be having a “casual” conversation, having been bed buddies for years under the guise or relationship. Even if and say the only drawback was not getting caught in public because of company policy (I’m stretching). Otherwise, it’s been a secret thing going on for years and you was obviously cool with it. I know it’s all cliched and stuff but a man can only do what you allow. Without knowing, I think you went along hoping for a change towards “relationship.”

And again, it’s behind you know. Live, learn, extract and DO NOT repeat.