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Do men like confidence?

While I was in DC this weekend, I hung out on U street a couple of nights. I noticed that a lot of women in DC seemed confident, chic, and polished. Not unlike the women I know and meet in Atlanta, but definitely confident. It is one of the things I think men are impressed by. Of course when the confidence crosses into arrogance, it could become a turn off.

My friend Brian once told me that when a woman tries to appear confident a lot of times, it comes across as bragging. When she starts talking about her degrees, wealth, or accomplishments, he starts to wonder who she is trying to convince.

I think that men do the same thing, but when a woman attempts to be overly confident, it is not received the same way. Most men don’t even care about the number of degrees or the number of zeros in her bank account.

Do you think that men like confident women? Isn’t it a good thing to be happy with who you are?

What do you think the difference is between confidence and arrogance?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

420 comments Add your comment

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
2:48 pm

I envy you, abc, the calmness of your breakups. I seem to always have a lot invested in a relationship…my relationships seem to progress at light speed. Stupid, I know. I’m not a dummy. Usually the lady is way ahead of me, so it is not just me as it must sound.

Hey, if I had all the answers, I wouldn’t be on a dating blog, now would I? LOL

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
2:48 pm

“Not my first time in the rodeo.” But don’t you want to stop breaking up at some point and be with one person.

Are we going to have to call you our Blog George Clooney!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

October 18th, 2011
2:50 pm

RandyT this is where good information comes from, I’ve learned a lot of things.

Fion

October 18th, 2011
2:51 pm

@ Celisea

Hang on Lil’ sista. Just wait until it’s yo kid.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
2:51 pm

More like, crack open a beer, sit out on the screened in porch with my dogs and think, “Whew, aren’t we glad that’s over with now!”

Yep I know the feeling and ALL of my breakups have been like that…ALL. Especially the last one with the demon seed chirren and they retarded mama(you’d have to talk to her to understand,plus she never finished highschool). I have NOT ONE ex that I’d go back to…I’ve made it a habit to never back track. You’re my ex for a reason so kick rocks.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

October 18th, 2011
2:54 pm

Leggs it’s an expression we guys use, you know like bucking a Bronco.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
2:54 pm

LOL @ Leggs. have you seen pictures of that villa George Clooney bought, in Italy I think? Awesome. I love Italy.

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
2:56 pm

Fion – Dear, I have a kid and trust me she stays out of my business. Wait, I keep her out of my business. Now, in the past and I can say for certain in the future. While I make sure to live and act decent and accordingly as an example, frankly what I do and where I go is none of her business.

Exiled!

October 18th, 2011
2:58 pm

Randyt,u can also admit it and say u like puddy snatching more than u like a permanent girl.

That’s the only reason why a grown chic wld cuss.

Coz she realized,(with ur apparent deference to ur daughter,and not her) that u weren’t serious.

And all that good puddy she so gustoly dished was up to naught!

I tell u chics hate that!

Being played!

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
2:59 pm

Randy the villa is in Italy and the view was gorgeous and inspiring…

2CPTG

October 18th, 2011
3:01 pm

Once upon a time I felt like you, RandyT, about the breakups….now, I’m some’n like abc,……..

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
3:03 pm

Actually there is truth to all the comments, for and against. Father/daughter then boyfriend/girlfriend relationships can conflict. it is what it is. Leggs and Celisea, what eachof you said was a factor. i was asking for time to let me deal with it. The lady was not willing to let me deal with it my way. She was hurt and thought that i was putting her second which was not true. I needed time to work through it, and she perceived that as i wasn’t going to deal with it. It shouldn’t have to be one or the other…it should be both.

2CPTG

October 18th, 2011
3:03 pm

Randyt……this is what gets me,..”my relationships seem to progress at light speed.”…

why? why are you jumping in head first, with goggles on?

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
3:05 pm

Thx Sassy, I thought so. I want to think that lake has been the backdrop for numerous movies. Spectacular.

2CPTG

October 18th, 2011
3:08 pm

“I needed time to work through it, and she perceived that as i wasn’t going to deal with it.

free game 101: if you can’t come up with a “solution” off rip, then some ladies see that just as ol girl saw it; that you were being evasive…..

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
3:08 pm

Randyt – i was asking for time to let me deal with it. The lady was not willing to let me deal with it my way. She was hurt and thought that i was putting her second which was not true. I needed time to work through it, and she perceived that as i wasn’t going to deal with it.

As a woman, I can see this…

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
3:08 pm

Like I said 2CPTG, it is not just me…for some reason the ladies I have seen (for more than a few dates) are ready for major commitment way too soon. They aren’t dummies, somehow the chemistry is just strong. i can’t explainit other than to say it just happens and not totally me.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
3:10 pm

honestly, I understand her point…just wish she would let me deal with it and trust me to deal with it. Leggs, maybe that is why I wondered about the lilly pad…because it seemed to me that she should trust me, not rush me.

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
3:11 pm

And as a woman….I definitely can see this too

then some ladies see that just as ol girl saw it; that you were being evasive…..

2CPTG

October 18th, 2011
3:12 pm

“i can’t explainit other than to say it just happens and not totally me.”

Yes it is!!!! At some point you gotta let her know where you stand; if you ain’t ready for the commitment, then say it….she gon’ follow yo’ lead (whether intimated, or expressed!)….

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
3:13 pm

because it seemed to me that she should trust me, not rush me.

I’m probably gonna stand alone on this one but I can feel her…if what you state is the case. I can’t speak for all women but I have a problem acting committed and doing the committed things but you’re still finding your way. I have no problem with a dude finding his way but he should also understand, I can’t go all in or act as if I’m all in and you’re still tettering or finding solutions. If the daugther was an issue to be worked through, the you should have (IMO) pulled back on acting all relationshipy and stuff. Just my opinion.

Exiled!

October 18th, 2011
3:14 pm

Two women won’t fit in one kitchen Randyt..u can’t make ur daughter like ur girl and vice versa.

The only permanent solution wld have been to have ur daughter go live some place else,even at ur expense since she wasn’t working.

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
3:18 pm

While it may not be intended or even perceived, this is what I think about….give and take. It’s taking and taking to want to act “all in” and “expect” all in but you aren’t there yourself. Then you decided and make a decision….pull it together or pull back. If you want to keep said lady and her confidence that you ain’t BSing her.

And again, just my outlook from the outside looking in.

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
3:19 pm

@BF ~ I know what the phrase mean (lol).

“…because it seemed to me that she should trust me, not rush me.” – You will probably always feel rushed when feelings are involved and one party constantly feels ignored. To come between a father and a daughter and feel like a step child (your gf), is a hard pill to swallow. Especially, if she feels you aren’t really doing much to fix or better the situation.

Kym

October 18th, 2011
3:21 pm

Well I think we have answered today’s question.. Yes men like women with confidence..and apparently a hint of crazy..

2CPTG

October 18th, 2011
3:21 pm

“I’m probably gonna stand alone on this one”……naw, cause I feel ya!

Even if you ain’t got all the answers, damn sho better act like you do! what they say, fake it til you make it? same scenario….as men, if we gon’ be in charge, we gotta take charge, bruh!

Exiled!

October 18th, 2011
3:21 pm

Leggs,I’m reading ur 3.19…can I ask u question?

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
3:23 pm

of course you can…

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
3:24 pm

I can’t go all in or act as if I’m all in and you’re still tettering or finding solutions. If the daugther was an issue to be worked through, the you should have (IMO) pulled back on acting all relationshipy and stuff. Just my opinion.

ditto dammit!! What I look like on the feild playing when you’re on the sidelines wondering if you’re gonna suit up or not?!

Randy just like you’ve said, this ain’t your first rodeo. Just see what lessons can be learned and think about what you will/won’t do next time.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
3:26 pm

Yes men like women with confidence..and apparently a hint of crazy..

Yeah and like a good “cussin out” err once in a while, it keeps ‘em regular…j/k :lol:

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
3:27 pm

Exactly 2Can and Sassy. We already know 2Can ya’ll act got all the answers…no one person does. But we dang sure need men that can navigate in the driver seat getting through. You win a woman’s confidence and hold to that you have her for life.

Exiled!

October 18th, 2011
3:30 pm

Reading the sentiments in ur 3:19,wld u feel that way and cuss out a man so hard for him to feel so mortally wounded like Randyt did, if u ain’t slept together?

and it felt gooood!

2CPTG

October 18th, 2011
3:30 pm

random side note:

perhaps, in a weird kinda way, is that why y’all gals like to say “Daddy” when ya dude beatin it up real good?……cause he got you, like Daddy would?

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
3:31 pm

Yes, we don’t a Charlie Brown on the field who’s always fumbling the ball.

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
3:31 pm

That aint’ random, you know it’s truth :)

Exiled!

October 18th, 2011
3:31 pm

2Can,hah hah

thinking alike :lol:

Go Daddy!

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
3:32 pm

Yeah in a weird kinda way, cause naw you ain’t my daddy but you got all the “lead/leader” attribute, you get’s a “yeah daddy”

kimmie

October 18th, 2011
3:34 pm

2C – Don’t do that “Daddy” stuff, just weird to me. Daddy and “doing it” don’t belong in the same sentence for me. But I know I’m not like a lot of women, just me.

czBrat

October 18th, 2011
3:35 pm

if we gon’ be in charge, we gotta take charge, bruh!
luv it!

is someone experiencing conflict between s/o and kid? seems i’ve missed the turn to a very good topic.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
3:36 pm

cause he got you, like Daddy would?

:shock:

WHAT?! Eeewwww how could you even equate the two?! I’m jus sayin…

I get your point in the question but the example threw me…off. I’m back now and truth be told whenever we do call y’all daddy…ummm why y’all sure seem to like it ALOT and go even harder in the paint.

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
3:38 pm

@Ex ~ if a cussing out is deserved whether we slept together or not wouldn’t matter. Well, yes it would. I’d probably put more “uummmpphhh” into the cussing if we slept together and I’m hurt. My intent wouldn’t be to mortally wound a man, but, if it’s deserved, truly deserved I will stand behind my hurtful words. I do try to argue as rationally as I can muster at the time. I don’t believe in throwing all respect for the person out the window. I can say this now at the age I am, but in my 30’s, I had a machete for a tongue and I lacked tact. I’m much better with it today.

BlackMagicWoman

October 18th, 2011
3:40 pm

“Yes men like women with confidence..and apparently a hint of crazy”

Who knows me so well? :lol:

2CPTG

October 18th, 2011
3:40 pm

lawd…..c’mon Sassy, you know what I meant….ye’en bout to sit here and tell me a dude ain’t never had you sayin’ “Daddy”…..and you know it had nothing to do with a familial relationship…..

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
3:41 pm

I have never called a man “daddy” a day in my life, I’ll be damned if I call my man that! Even if I had a daddy, that word will never be reserved for my lover.

@kimmie ~ I agree with your 3:34.

Kym

October 18th, 2011
3:42 pm

Now I will say alot of thangs in a sexually intense situation but I am not calling no man daddy in the bedroom…

czBrat

October 18th, 2011
3:44 pm

LOL @ kimmie. yeah. i had to explain the subtle difference between “papá” and “papa”, so s/o would be real clear he is not my papá, but he can be my papa all day and night.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
3:45 pm

Sorry, had to work for a few minutes.

@Leggs and Celisea…both of you have echoed her sentiments. The lady was looking down the road and thinking she would always be ignored at family events or the wicked stepmother without ever doing anything wrong. I understand that. However it is not just about her…or just me…or just my daughter. It is about all of us. I believed my way would eventually allow a gradual working out of the problem, bringing them slowly together, and maybe even a friendship…her way would have brought about a confrontation with my daughter that pride would have kept burning forever. I wasn’t willing to surrender to either of their wishes.

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
3:45 pm

Well I got. I don’t even think remotely about my daddy with any man but I can recognize when a man possesses the same attributes with me that my daddy showed and cared for my mama and us.

Yeah daddy

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
3:48 pm

Randyt – Was your approach fair to her though?

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
3:48 pm

The whole “Daddy” issue has a totally different meaning for me. As I have said before, my ex-wife’s fine upstanding, business owning, pilot Dad sexually abused her as a teenager. That permanently scarrd her and left her unable to ever totally relate to a man physically. I might say “Who’s your daddy???” to a male I have beaten in a sports or poker event…but never to a woman.