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City & State or ZIP

Do men like confidence?

While I was in DC this weekend, I hung out on U street a couple of nights. I noticed that a lot of women in DC seemed confident, chic, and polished. Not unlike the women I know and meet in Atlanta, but definitely confident. It is one of the things I think men are impressed by. Of course when the confidence crosses into arrogance, it could become a turn off.

My friend Brian once told me that when a woman tries to appear confident a lot of times, it comes across as bragging. When she starts talking about her degrees, wealth, or accomplishments, he starts to wonder who she is trying to convince.

I think that men do the same thing, but when a woman attempts to be overly confident, it is not received the same way. Most men don’t even care about the number of degrees or the number of zeros in her bank account.

Do you think that men like confident women? Isn’t it a good thing to be happy with who you are?

What do you think the difference is between confidence and arrogance?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

420 comments Add your comment

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
2:01 pm

You need to hear the venom in my voice!

Hell yeah! Eff a text…

Exiled!

October 18th, 2011
2:01 pm

Randyt,these chics u meet on the Internet are no good.

They are like used tires.

I’ll meet a good woman on the street.

If one has to ‘resort’ to the cloud that means real life dating has sucked for that person.

Ohhh, wait a minute,…my bad!

I just had a revelation as I was typing this. Lol

I ain’t talking bout u Randy :lol:

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
2:02 pm

@ leggs, who knows? Three sides to every story…hers, mine, and the truth.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
2:05 pm

@ Sassy…the whole dynamic is hard to describe. The lady had a hangup about talking on the phone; something traumatic in her past. Texting was her favorite way of communicating. I can safely assure you that the fury she was feeling came across just fine in the texts.

Exiled!

October 18th, 2011
2:06 pm

Randyt?

How good was she where it matters?

Jake: Sweet Peeda Jeeda, TWB

October 18th, 2011
2:07 pm

Randy…yea that truth is always somewhere in middle

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
2:08 pm

@ Exiled…the best. I doubt that part can be replaced, but I have thought that before.

Jake: Sweet Peeda Jeeda, TWB

October 18th, 2011
2:09 pm

Exiled..u stoopid, but I guess at this point, that’s the real question, was it worth the time?

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
2:10 pm

@Randyt ~ well, at least you know you factor into the breakup.

Grown children should not be sabotaging their parents’ dating experience unless there’s some foreseeable harm, distrust, etc. To simply not like somone or become jealous over a new mate shouldn’t be grounds by which people breakup. Children should look at the happiness of the parent before throwing vinegar in the water!

Jake: Sweet Peeda Jeeda, TWB

October 18th, 2011
2:11 pm

well Randy, judging by your 2:08, the truth was somewhere in the middle

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
2:11 pm

I can safely assure you that the fury she was feeling came across just fine in the texts.

Well now that I’ve thought about it…I did that to my boy toy when I got rid of him. It was only b/c when I tried to talk to him he never took it seriously, so one day I went theee hell off so hard he said he didn’t know I could talk like that. I called him all kinds of names…I mean combinations of curse words I learned when I first moved here back when sh!t was extra grimey. I guess it can be done to an extent.

Still Randy ain’t but so much you can learn about a person via text and if she REALLY wanted to talk to you on the phone she would’ve…trust mi p’on dat,seen?!

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
2:13 pm

Also though, it is hard for a guy to actually understand when arguing with a woman. One of the hardest lessons for a man to learn and figure out is that nine times out of ten, when a woman argues with him, it is not even the current thing she is mad about. it is something you did days or weeks before that has been festering under the surface. While the guy is scratching his head and his azzz trying to understand why something small that just happened can cause a lady to get so mad, he doesn’t know it isn’t that that she is pizzzed about. It is that other thing he did that he has already forgotten about.

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
2:13 pm

@Randyt ~ also, for a woman to cuss a man out in person or via text, the recepient had to have done something that had steam coming out her ears.. You do admit you also played a major role in the breakup, all can’t possibly rest on her shoulders??

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
2:14 pm

something traumatic in her past. Texting was her favorite way of communicating.

I dunnooooo

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
2:17 pm

“I can safely assure you that the fury she was feeling came across just fine in the texts.”

At what point do you stop responding, that is if you responded to the first cussing?

Exiled!

October 18th, 2011
2:17 pm

Randyt!

I think,from the my experience,the once who give u off the rim experience in that area have some bolts that need tightening,eve now and then.

So…take that into perspective..,

Maybe u should have paid for ur daughter to go live somewhere else..

I’m so sorry u lost some helluva good puddy and woman coz of ur daughter!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

October 18th, 2011
2:18 pm

Well damn pink mantsies, I’ve heard it all again I hope y’all given them out in support of Cancer Survivor month. The only time a dude should wear something pink. Yeah I want confidence, though I need to have it myself and not be overzealous with it.

Afternoon:

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
2:19 pm

Unless lighting came through that phone what could be so traumatic? Don’t you want to hear your gf’s voice, know by the inflection of the voice, what is meant. You can’t pick up tone by texting. Well, getting cussed out is the exception to the rule….

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
2:19 pm

Leggs, she would be fine and friendly in the early part of the week when we weren’t seeing each other, but by Thursday or so, she would start “thinking” and the next thing I know, all plans have evaporated. I hate it when women start thinking too much. ;-)

I know this will pizzz some peopleof, but women put their emotions out ther early in a relationship and then later start thinking it through. Men think up front and then later on they give way to emotion. Totally azz backwards on one side or the other. One of the many reasons men and women are seldom in time with each other.

Jake: Sweet Peeda Jeeda, TWB

October 18th, 2011
2:20 pm

Hey Leggs, we are pro-Randy around here, he is totally innocent, and she is crazy!!

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
2:21 pm

The texts had long since past the point of cussing me, they were very descriptive about what she would be doing to fill in her newly found free time.

Willie Dynamite

October 18th, 2011
2:21 pm

RandyT – well dayumm another T-Shirt.

disco

October 18th, 2011
2:22 pm

hi all.

@ leggs. déjà vu. I am probably getting ready to break up with guy because of his daughter. we’ve reached the point where we can’t go forward and I’m not the ultimatum type. of course, his daughter isn’t a child. she’s 27 and has two kids of her own. it’s really a mess and has been all along but in the beginning I ignored it because it (our relationship) wasn’t serious and it wasn’t any of my business. as it became serious I mentioned the situation more but he gets quite defensive about it. 3 years in and like – whatever man. you and your daughter and your grandbabies have a nice life.

Lady~

October 18th, 2011
2:22 pm

interesting randy……..

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
2:23 pm

She did sort of text to apologize a day or two later, but made it clear that it was over but that she did not want me to remember only the mean comments as the last communication.

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
2:25 pm

Randyt – After getting cussed out, there should have been no reason to come back with anything more…including apologies. Sometimes (speaking for me) things can jump out of the mouth and it’s hard to take it back. I would have told her to bite me if she cussed me out and came back to apologize. Look before you leap.

Then again maybe that’s not the case with her. Just saying, how you cuss somebody out, come back to apologize while yet confirming it over. I hope Randyt you put the ig/mute button one.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
2:26 pm

What I am a little curious about is whether she already has in place another lily pad to jump to. Mena nd women sometimes stay long after they ahve decided to leave, just waiting for another ride.

Kym

October 18th, 2011
2:27 pm

I guess I can throw down hell fire in word form..but I much prefer face to face or phone….for a cuss out.

Exiled!

October 18th, 2011
2:28 pm

But how can a grown woman just cuss u out from the blue Randyt?

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
2:28 pm

Well one always has to consider with women the possibility that they may be Schizo, and have multiple personalities. One has to wait to make sure which personality dumped you and which one wants you to stay ;-)

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
2:28 pm

Then too, if I’m THAT angry, I need to get that said to you…face to face, emotions and all

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
2:29 pm

Randyt – Don’t go buying trouble. Sometimes some things and some people aren’t worth the trouble.

abc

October 18th, 2011
2:30 pm

Per the topic: different strokes for different folks: I’ve known guys to marry Filipino women because they think it’ll be a situation in which they’ll have total and absolute control, and get waited on hand and foot, but surprise! Those chicks get Americanized pretty quickly (Hey baby, wan’ go United States?) Most people appreciate a bit of confidence, at the very least — or, perhaps, just the absence of timidity. Nobody likes a braggart. Sum up: you can’t really generalize much about people’s tastes.

Randy, my approach to all that is to just not argue and fight. A chick will start that with me, and I’ll tell her that I’ll be happy to discuss the matter, but I’m not going to argue nor fight, and no hitting — if you hit me, our time is totally finished. Now, a lot of chicks have a tough time with that, because they want to FIGHT BABY! Sissy, can’t you even fight with a GIRL? A certain amount of fighting is normal and healthy. Uh, no it ain’t, chickie, talk with you later after you cool down and come to your senses.

Trying to exercise rationale in an overly emotional moment is like trying to blow leaves on a windy day. Not hannenin.

Kym

October 18th, 2011
2:30 pm

All this reminds me of one of my favorite quotes “Never underestimate the power of a hissy-fit” I found it on a magnet at a arts and craft fair. Besides sometimes folks need a good cussing out..keeps them regular.

Lord Velonese

October 18th, 2011
2:31 pm

Do I like confidence? sure but like others have stated crossing over to arrogance, shallowness, control, dominace I tend shy away. You can work with me or against me your choice, I haven’t come 36 years to be controlled, or brought down by someone else regarless your reason.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

October 18th, 2011
2:31 pm

LOL…….@RandyT it aint funny, you did nothing keep on hanging. Can’t say don’t go back to digital dating, it’s the same doggone way live.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
2:33 pm

The beauty of women is that they make no sense to men. It is part of your allure, ladies. We can’t figure you out. When we think we understand you, you change the rules. i’m convinced that the largest single cause of baldness in men is us scratching our heads so often saying WTF and where did THAT come from. LOL

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
2:36 pm

Seriously, I am fine. Breaking up with women is like skydiving…it scares the hellz out of you at first but after you realize you made it to the ground once, you figure you can make it to the ground again. Not my first time in the rodeo.

abc

October 18th, 2011
2:36 pm

Difficult to acknowledge that lack of rational sense is an attractive feature, but there it is again — different strokes.

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
2:37 pm

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
2:38 pm

because they want to FIGHT BABY! Sissy, can’t you even fight with a GIRL?

Not so much…still LOLOLOLOL

abc

October 18th, 2011
2:39 pm

In all my breakup experiences (except one) I felt mostly relief, like getting out of jail. No fear! More like, crack open a beer, sit out on the screened in porch with my dogs and think, “Whew, aren’t we glad that’s over with now!”

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
2:41 pm

What I am a little curious about is whether she already has in place another lily pad to jump to. – Why even bother stressing yourself over a thought like that, and I loose the word “stressing” loosely.

Men and women sometimes stay long after they ahve decided to leave, just waiting for another ride. – Another dumb thing to do. Let the heart heal before jumping to another. Give yourself time to reflect and not simply react to the next thing in a skirt.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
2:41 pm

I know abc, but if one clings to tightly to things that are rational and make sense, one would never unlock his door and go outside. It is a dangerous world, physically and emotionally. Also I’m a hopeless (hopeful) romantic who finds the whole thing, win, lose, or draw fascinating. It is the game, not the conclusion, that is what life is made of. If one ever got it all nearly right, he would probably die right then with it almost within his grasp.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

October 18th, 2011
2:44 pm

Most women will wait on you to screw up two times so they can cuss you out about the first time. Never a need for to argue with a woman. Those who do wear pink manties and will beat them.

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
2:44 pm

“Well one always has to consider with women the possibility that they may be Schizo, and have multiple personalities.”

That’s a copout answer, Randyt. Too easy to say that and deflect culpability on your part. Hell, you could have been the unreasonable one with an unhealthy relationship with your daughter. No telling how she looked at it. Stop deflecting and own the demise as something both of you or even all three of you played a part in!

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
2:45 pm

Besides sometimes folks need a good cussing out..keeps them regular.

Cracking up!

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
2:46 pm

I ain’t gonna lie, if I’m involved with an adult and the premise of what we do, where we go how well and often we communicate hinges on an adult kid, I’m out….no if ands or buts…

Randyt, just saying

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
2:46 pm

Randy me and all three of my personalities are :lol: @ your 2:33..

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
2:47 pm

@disco ~ sorry to read you’re considering getting GHOST. But, if you can’t go forward and no ultimatums will be issued, what else is there to do?