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Do men like confidence?

While I was in DC this weekend, I hung out on U street a couple of nights. I noticed that a lot of women in DC seemed confident, chic, and polished. Not unlike the women I know and meet in Atlanta, but definitely confident. It is one of the things I think men are impressed by. Of course when the confidence crosses into arrogance, it could become a turn off.

My friend Brian once told me that when a woman tries to appear confident a lot of times, it comes across as bragging. When she starts talking about her degrees, wealth, or accomplishments, he starts to wonder who she is trying to convince.

I think that men do the same thing, but when a woman attempts to be overly confident, it is not received the same way. Most men don’t even care about the number of degrees or the number of zeros in her bank account.

Do you think that men like confident women? Isn’t it a good thing to be happy with who you are?

What do you think the difference is between confidence and arrogance?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

420 comments Add your comment

SexyCool

October 18th, 2011
10:51 am

It takes a certain about of confidence to be humble.

hazel

October 18th, 2011
10:51 am

@ bignugs – u made me laugh.
@Lou – Minority includes Mexican,Indian, chinese etc.. And I don’t think they fall in the conclusion u mentioned. I can understand your opinion, but this includes MEN as well, as they too need to change.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
10:53 am

the hat comes off… just like panties come off..when said “mate”..shows and proves..they can handle what is underneath.

Soo worth repeating…

This should be interesting today…lots of good comments.

kimmie

October 18th, 2011
10:54 am

Leggs – I notice whenever they display the topic on the front page, the loonys come out.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
10:57 am

It takes a certain about of confidence to be humble

It sure does but some people can’t grasp the concept b/c somehow being humble is equated with being soft/weak. It’s the exact opposite.

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
10:57 am

Women are waiting for men to assume the role of their forefathers and be the”man” in the relationship. When a woman is confronted with that, she will automatically know what to do. The “automatic” switch is in the off position purely for survival purposes to avoid the pitfalls of all the BS that’s out there today. Most women are looking forward to taking the hat off!

Sandy

October 18th, 2011
10:57 am

Only confident men like confident women. Insecure men do not like confident women. I am a confident woman and I have dated men who were intimidated by that fact. Also the fact that I am very easy on the eyes. :) Some men like dumb and stupid women. That make them feel really good.

There is a difference between confident and arrogant women. I know someone who is very insecure and arrogant at the same time. The reason why this person is so arrogant (thinking that she is better than other people )is because of her insecurities. That’s really sad. She is constantly putting herself on a high pedestal. I always refer to her as-what Ellen Degeneres refers to as a ‘one upper’. For example if you tell her you make $35.00 an hour, she will lie and say, “Oh well I make $35.01 an hour)..She lies all of the time. Really sad.

I don’t like people like that. That is why she is arrogant. She volunteers to help others out because I truly believe that it uplifts her because in her mind she is thinking..’I'm helping the little people…the poor people’..She is ALWAYS trying to keep up with the ‘Joneses’…going broke trying to do so…

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
10:58 am

:lol: @ Kimmie’s 10:54…I was thinking the same thing since page one…

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
11:00 am

Most women are looking forward to taking the hat off!

“chuch”

SassaFrass now passing ’round the collection plate

BlackMagicWoman

October 18th, 2011
11:01 am

Well I am confident in who I am. I am a bit more confident on stage because it’s where I am most comfortable. I really never cared with others thought of me. I wear what I want and I am always me. Granted I know there is a time and place for everything. I don’t disrespect myself. But I refuse to let anyone change me. So if that is arrogance in a guy’s mind…Houston we have a problem! Because this girl is a what you see is what you get type. I don;t do the old bait and switch. I will not pretend to be one way to reel a guy in and then go, “HA…sucka! You really thought I was docile”! :lol

I know as women a good majority of us have our own little insecurity issues, whether fess up to them or not. A lot of time it’s the I’m too big or too skinny, b00bs & b00ty too big or too small, etc. But that will not effect my confidence in myself. Granted, if a guy starts going on about his degrees, it makes me wonder what he is hiding that blanket! I am not going to for or sleep with your degrees or your belongings. It’s who you are as a person. Sooooooo….

Elizabeth

October 18th, 2011
11:01 am

I think most men are intimidated by confident women. I am going through a breakup right now and I feel my ex was insecure. I never boasted about anything, I just happened to be equally successful (financially) as he was, and I felt that made him insecure. I want a man to look at me and think “Girl you’ve got it going on! Lets tackle the world together!” Versus being insecure and borderline resentful when in no way do I boast about anything. UGH.

czBrat

October 18th, 2011
11:02 am

HiYas!

just when i thought this topic would be a real no-brainer, yous guys find a way to make it interesting. :)

Do y’all know when to take the hat off, and be a “mate”?
i admit i take the hat off moreso when it’s convenient for me. every now and then i take a moment to consider absolute respect and deference for my s/o, and i step aside accordingly. i think he finds my confidence appealing, but my independence does get in the way of heeding his headship. what can i say? i’m a work in progress.

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
11:03 am

@BMW ~ “I will not pretend to be one way to reel a guy in and then go… “

You are regulated to the corner got the next 8.5 minutes….GO!

kimmie

October 18th, 2011
11:05 am

Leggs/Sassy – That hat/helmet is heavy. By all means man, take it!!!

JustMe, Slim

October 18th, 2011
11:05 am

Leggs – I’m thinking the same thing like, wow, I can’t get that 30 secs of my life back after reading that post. Welcome to the blog where folks can criticize the grammer and speech of other folks but don’t know the difference between ‘WHERE’ which refers to a place/location verus WEAR which refers to clothing/accesories or some object on the body.

For the record, I don’t hang out with stuck up chicks…I’ve been blessed with a handful of beautiful down to earth women.

CmonSeriously

October 18th, 2011
11:07 am

I think most guys want “the path of less resistance” if a woman is really confident she can come off as a B!@#!

JustMe, Slim

October 18th, 2011
11:08 am

Leggs – I thought about you this morning as I was trying to dial in to win $1000 on the Bert SHow. I know you are pretty good at getting through on V103. Have you even tried to win on the Bert Show? $1000 bucks is a $1000 bucks…they do it at 7:15 and 8:15 (oh and my number I have been waiting to fall on Cash 3, fell last night…and you already know that I DIDN’T play it this time)

Kym

October 18th, 2011
11:08 am

kimmie…I do believe I am gonna have to shout on that 11:05am..

kimmie

October 18th, 2011
11:12 am

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
11:13 am

@JustMe ~ I call into The Bert Show daily. Haven’t gotten through for their contests. Have gotten through to voice an opinion on something, but not their contests.

Here’s a number bummer. Went to play 3681 yesterday evening only to see 6831 fell midday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

172 fell last night. I forgot who liked 127. I think it was Celisea.

@kimmie ~ that’s all women want, to truly be the woman in the relationship, take off the pants, the shoulder pads, the helmet and return to her own feminity with a man who can appreciate the view and her contribution.

davina.w

October 18th, 2011
11:14 am

@bignugs I believe the proper word you were looking for to sum up the “women” out here is D.U.F.F LMAO!!

BlackMagicWoman

October 18th, 2011
11:14 am

“Most women are looking forward to taking the hat off!”

I happen to love my hat. It compliments my outfit :lol: So I’m leaving it on…just like the song says.

“I want a man to look at me and think “Girl you’ve got it going on! Lets tackle the world together!” Versus being insecure and borderline resentful when in no way do I boast about anything. UGH.”

ELIZABETH…girl I will buy you a broach for that hat! :lol:

LEGGS…why do I have to go to the Bad Girls Corner? :-( I didn’t do the bad girl club! :lol:

Celisea

October 18th, 2011
11:15 am

172 fell last night. I forgot who liked 127. I think it was Celisea.

Sorry Leggs, not me…not a lottery player. I’ll take the proceeds though :)

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
11:15 am

Cold Cut Artist – I think is Ne-Yo (404) 741-1075.

JustMe, Slim

October 18th, 2011
11:15 am

kimmie – I just read over your 11:05 and I’m sending myself to the corner for a few. Who reads the words helmet & hat only to automatically thing about that phallic symbol us hetero women like so much :oops: Ok, off to the corner I go

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
11:16 am

but my independence does get in the way of heeding his headship. what can i say? i’m a work in progress.

Me,too cz. I totally understand and experienced this in my last relationship. I wanted him to take the lead BUT he needed me to tell/ask him everything and I felt like hell if I have to ask/tell you everything why are we together? I felt like I had bigger cajones then he did and sometimes that’s how he acted so I had to K.I.M.

Exactly Kimmie!!

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
11:18 am

I think that if a woman (or a man) wears their “confidence” like some kind of badge of honor or that they seem to have to prove their worth, then it is over the top. Truly confidant people don’t have to show a dayum thing, it is who and what they are.

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
11:19 am

confident not confidant…my bad.

kimmie

October 18th, 2011
11:19 am

JustmeSlim – :lol:

CmonSeriously

October 18th, 2011
11:19 am

Are you saying truly unconfident people cannot change?

hryder

October 18th, 2011
11:20 am

A confident person(male/female) completes tasks without fanfare and humbly accepts recognition with few words. The arrogant talk about themselves or condesendingly utter nothing.

SexyCool

October 18th, 2011
11:22 am

I always find it interesting that some will color an entire group of people, whether by geographical origin, gender, race, by the unfortunate experience that that have had when being exposed to a random and small number of such individuals. I am certain that no one posting has dated ALL the men in the South or ALL the women in Atlanta. At the same time, I respect the fact that an individual’s outlook/opinion is filtered through those experiences.

Additionally, it is my experience that those who seems put off by another’s confidence usually end up displaying traits of low self esteem themselves.

JustMe, Slim

October 18th, 2011
11:22 am

Leggs – 127 was my number :cry:

Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)

October 18th, 2011
11:24 am

” just like panties come off..when said “mate”..shows and proves..they can handle what is underneath”

So that is why those women keep doing that…okay, now I get it. I thought maybe they were just needing some more air down there ;-)

kimmie

October 18th, 2011
11:24 am

Sassy – That’s what I was telling 2C earlier. Your ex handed over the pants/hat to you! Not that you didn’t know how to interchange.

czBrat

October 18th, 2011
11:37 am

” just like panties come off..when said “mate”..shows and proves..they can handle what is underneath”
aight. where’d that quote come from? me likey!

sassy, it’s a struggle. what i most admire about s/o is that perfect mix of perseverance (he does not back down) and care (he takes into consideration where i’m coming from). i do recognize that letting him take control generally leads to what’s best for all involved.

although it’s not easy giving up the steering wheel when you’ve been driving the partridge family bus for 10 years, i must say i LUV the view from the passenger’s seat.

CmonSeriously

October 18th, 2011
11:37 am

I do think that there is a lot of anger and judging that happens on this blog. Just thinking back is all

2CPTG

October 18th, 2011
11:37 am

“Are you saying truly unconfident people cannot change?”

pretty much……if you could bottle it up, and sell it, I’d be one of your first investors!

czBrat

October 18th, 2011
11:41 am

lack of confidence/self-esteem can be entirely situational. get out of that situation and confidence/self-esteem can grow. nothing builds confidence like making a series of good decisions to overcome the bad ones.

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
11:43 am

@czB ~ you know that quote sounds just like SassyMe! She said it.

@BMW, how’s the juggling coming along?

2CPTG

October 18th, 2011
11:43 am

I’m of the mindset, “once a chump, always a chump;” yeah, you might change “uniforms” to look the part, but deep down, underneath the exterior facade, is a fraud; you either got it, or you don’t….

same can be said for confidence.

Kym

October 18th, 2011
11:44 am

@leggs..uhhh that quote came from me..

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
11:47 am

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Anyone interested, let me know and I’ll provide the rest of the job description to you.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
11:47 am

Your ex handed over the pants/hat to you! Not that you didn’t know how to interchange.

Okay Kimmie?! Sometimes I felt like, what is wrong with this picture? And then the funny thing was when I just went ahead and handled whatever it is had to be done his feelings would get hurt. He’d ask me why I didn’t tell him I was going to do xyz…or ask him for xzy…BUT whenever I did ask for his help/input alot of times he couldn’t come through when I NEEDED him to. So again I’m thinking why are we together?…so I ended it.

although it’s not easy giving up the steering wheel when you’ve been driving the partridge family bus for 10 years, i must say i LUV the view from the passenger’s seat.

That’s what I’m talking about!!

Exiled!

October 18th, 2011
11:48 am

U gotta be confident enough to get judged and KIM Cmon.

Lots of judging in the real world behind your back.

Just be you.

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
11:48 am

@czB ~ you know that quotes sounds just like Kym. She said it. :lol: :lol:

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
11:49 am

cz/Leggs that quote came from 2CPTG..

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 18th, 2011
11:50 am

:lol: @ U Leggs!! You said it :lol:

Leggs

October 18th, 2011
11:51 am

Not it didn’t, SassyMe…only a woman would talk about panties and underneath in the same sentence.

Yeah, mon, I said it! :lol: Who’s on first?

Kym

October 18th, 2011
11:53 am

My ego does not allow me to not take credit for my bs….