Can you tell when she likes you?
I have a friend that is completely oblivious when a woman is flirting with him. He is super smart in his work life but when it comes to things like body language, wooing techniques, etc, he just doesn’t recognize the signs that women send his way.
I have literally had to point it out to him and let him know that “friends” don’t really cook for friends three times a week. Women also don’t volunteer to pet sit or do random domestic duties for guys unless they are investing in them. Basically, if a woman is consistently putting time, effort, and money in a man, she wants a relationship with him.
I understand the concept of mixed signals and coded behavior but women who are truly interested won’t hide behind those tactics, do they? Guys can you tell when a woman really likes you?
Ladies, how do you show men you are interested in them as a potential partner (as opposed to a buddy, friend, pal, sponsor etc..) or mate?
Do you ever have a hard time figuring out if someone likes you as more than a friend?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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300 comments Add your comment
Pinky
October 13th, 2011
10:16 am
Gotta step out Brb
CmonSeriously
October 13th, 2011
10:28 am
Wish guys had as many weapons for seduction as women have.
Leggs
October 13th, 2011
10:29 am
@Cmon ~ your best and sexiest weapon is your brain.
CmonSeriously
October 13th, 2011
10:32 am
Gotta say, I love a woman’s curves!!!
Southern Boy Who Needs Advice
October 13th, 2011
10:34 am
SIGH….
After that incident with close standing & breasts on my arm, I drove home from work yesterday afternoon all giddy and blushing like I was 13.
Into the Light
October 13th, 2011
10:38 am
Morning, all!
“If you like me, let me know”….seems simple and straightforward. Wonder why more folks don’t do this???
kimmie
October 13th, 2011
10:38 am
Good morning!
Everyone just needs to grow up.
One thing I noticed when I was dating is that even the shyest man will go for if he’s really interested. As for women & men that send mixed signals, who has time for that? Why would you be interested in someone playing games right out of the gate?
I guess I was never into the cutsy-coy way of acting. Either I liked a dude or didn’t. If I didn’t it was quite clear. You can’t mistake my kind demeanor that I show everyone for flirting, unless you’re trying to project what you’re feeling onto me. Never worked.
Shy men have never been cute to me either. That’s a little too childlike and I’m into men, not boys.
Southern Boy Who Needs Advice
October 13th, 2011
10:39 am
I think I am starting to understand women LESS with each passing year of life instead of more.
If only we all had a REQUIRED Facebook status field labeled “The Full Name of the Person I Like & Who Wish Would Pursue Me Is:” that the whole world could see and that we all HAD TO update whenever our affections targeted someone, there would be so much less relationship anxiety in the world…
Celisea
October 13th, 2011
10:40 am
Tough one Southern Boy…not sure I’d touch that one. If it doesn’t work out, work will become awkard.
Dekalb County Guy
October 13th, 2011
10:40 am
Being blunt will get the job done… But its a risk a lot of people aint secure enough to take. There have been times that I’ve been SHUT DOWN being blunt (Lol) but I have also had several “I didn’t know you liked me like that” moments that remind me that serve as a constant reminder that “you have not, because you ask not”. There’s no time for all that beating around the bush when you’re dealing with someone you may never see again. If you like them OPEN YOUR MOUTH!
@Kym Yeah, he was interested. Most people I know down here aren’t friendly like that to hold a conversation with a random stranger at a restuarant and not want anything. That whole “if you like me just say so” thing is hard for a lot of people. You might of intimidated him with the frown. Lol. But seriously, if he was gonna go through the trouble of driving back around to talk to you two again, he should have just asked for your telephone number or something.
abc
October 13th, 2011
10:43 am
Of course I can tell if a chick is interested. Body language is pretty obvious: hair toss, coy gaze, unbalanced stance, hand gestures, there’s lots of stuff like that. I can’t say I’ve ever experienced a chick hiding her interest in me from me, but then, maybe they were effective enough in so doing that I really didn’t notice. Their loss, no biggie.
abc
October 13th, 2011
10:45 am
Southern boy, if you’re dealing with chicks primarily through Facebook, I’d say that’s your problem in understanding chicks right there. Cancel that stupid crap. Talk to them in real life only.
Kym
October 13th, 2011
10:46 am
@DC Guy..well I wasn’t frowning for the 10 mins we sat there talking about oil prices and China..but my friend said I was suppose to offer my number that maybe that was what he was waiting for.
kimmie
October 13th, 2011
10:46 am
Kym – Yeah, why was it up to you to “get it”? Dude should have gone for you if he was interested.
Southern Boy – Back away slowly from that. Like others said, you don’t need a visit to HR. Rubbing up on someone at work – unprofessional as all get out. She knew exactly what she was doing.
Leggs
October 13th, 2011
10:47 am
@abce ~ Southern Boy was being facetious.
Leggs
October 13th, 2011
10:47 am
sorry, @abc.
Southern Boy Who Needs Advice
October 13th, 2011
10:48 am
Sorry, Facebook was just an analogy.
I don’t use FB or even have account.
However, I would definitely consider one if that Required information had to be posted.
Southern Boy Who Needs Advice
October 13th, 2011
10:55 am
Just to clarify, she was only standing very close and pressing, not rubbing in any sort of way. (No friction).
That alone had me suddenly standing at attention, but I digress…
Her breasts appear rather small, so it isn’t like she intentionally/unintentionally had them “all over me,” may but I confess I really liked how they felt against my forearm in that intense, yet confusing (to me), moment.
ahsoisee
October 13th, 2011
10:55 am
I was curious as to how the younger people relate, so I decided to read this article for curiosity. I have grandchildren probably your ages and wondered how they thought, so I read the article and variious remarks.
Why make something so simple to be so mystic? If you are a male, ask the girl for a date. If she accepts, she is interested. If she determines by the date that she is not interested anymore, she will not accept additional requests from you for a date. However, many girls will even ask you to be their partner at a prom or some big event, just to have a date. Do not use these kinds of dates as a sure sign that she is interested, sometimes they just want to attend the event.
If you call the lady back for another date and she puts you off, ask her if you should call for a date at another time? If she says yes, there may be other reasons she does not want to date during the particular time you asked (time of the month, some kind of problem, other conflicts, etal). If she refuses after a couple of times, then move on.
A woman is different in her dating scheme. She does more fishing than men. She is more curious about the qualities of a man than the man is of the woman. She may lbe ooking at various men as possible candidates for her lifemate and likes to evaluate each one. There is nothing wrong with this, but it is not a bad thing for the lady to tell the man when he calls again, “I appreciate the date, had a good time, but I don’t think we are a good match”. If cornered by the man for a reason, you do not owe him any explanation other than to say you will not date him again.
If a lady is interested in a man, there is nothing wrong for her to invite him to take her to dinner, a show, event, etal. If the man appeals to you, but does not ask for a repeat date, there is nothing wrong with asking him one more time for another date because he might have gotten some vibes that you did not like him on the first date. After the second date, leave it up to him to make further contacts. He may be spoiled and did not call back for additional dates because he did not get what he wanted. If that is all he wanted, then it could present future problems. If he really likes you, he will call back even though he did not get what he wanted.
It is not all that mystic!!!
The Old Man
Leggs
October 13th, 2011
10:56 am
Southern Boy, how old are you?
Dekalb County Guy
October 13th, 2011
10:56 am
@Kym Lol. I was joking bout the frown thing. Im with Kimmie on this one tho – When you really want something, you go for it. If you’re afraid to be blunt… you buy business cards to leave with people as you walk away. Lol
Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)
October 13th, 2011
10:57 am
@ Leggs…now you and I both know you are in a position to provide said boy toy with an invaluable education
LOL
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 13th, 2011
10:57 am
I haven’t met any women who didn’t let you know upfront if she was into you or not. There’s nothing embarrasing about a lady turning you down, we as men need to get over the hump. If your self esteem won’t allow you to approach her leave it alone. As for subtle signs it could be a sharade or it can be for real, it’s up to us as men to carry the load. Communicate ask for what you want. They’ll let you know in hurry.
Good Ole Morning:
Celisea
October 13th, 2011
10:58 am
Applaud Applaud Blackfoote. Please know I’m thinking the same thing. What’s up with all the whining…EVERYDAY now on all topics of what women are not doing or not getting done??????
Dekalb County Guy
October 13th, 2011
10:59 am
@ahsoisee Well said. 300% right.
Celisea
October 13th, 2011
11:00 am
No matter how much evolving we’re doing as a people, nation, sex (gender), men are still suppose to be men. The hunter, the pursuer…. (shrugs). If a woman does it great, if a man does it EVEN BETTER.
Leggs
October 13th, 2011
11:00 am
@Randyt ~ I know, I know. He’s hungry for a sample that I do know.
Leggs
October 13th, 2011
11:01 am
That’s my point too, Celisea! This isn’t rocket science. Sheesh!!!
Matt
October 13th, 2011
11:08 am
No I can’t tell, because every woman I meet sends mixed signals and has an unquenchable thirst for game-playing. And then there are the ones who just frown all the time. Not interested in those.
It’d be nice to meet an intelligent, compassionate, mature woman for once. I’m tired of the games.
I Like Mark!
October 13th, 2011
11:08 am
I Like you Mark
Into the Light
October 13th, 2011
11:09 am
@ Leggs…now you and I both know you are in a position to provide said boy toy with an invaluable education LOL
Hmmmmm…..”you and I both know”…..is there a story here???? LOL
Sorry, Leggs and Randyt, I couldn’t resist.
Audra
October 13th, 2011
11:09 am
Southern Boy – I disagree with the posters on here who say not to date at work. Two different couples in my office did so and now are happily married. I’ve seen it more than once. Just keep the work relationship professional, keep the PDA and whatnot out of the workplace.
As for what to do, ASK HER OUT!!! Dang, you’re never gonna know if you don’t try!
Good Luck Southern Boy!
As for Pinky – so you spend a lot of money on a chick and cook her lobster tails and she doesn’t like you so that means she’s shallow? Hmmm…seems like if she were shallow the big display of money would do the trick! Were you actually trying to get to KNOW this woman? B/c thinking that all women are only interested in the money you spend on them is, well, shallow…
Leggs
October 13th, 2011
11:12 am
@ITL ~ no story, just an inside running commentary.
Robert
October 13th, 2011
11:14 am
“Can you tell when she likes you?”
Young men between the ages of (25-35) beware of older women (40-60) who call themselfs “cougars” because you are bait. Most “cougars” are “flirty” and will send you all kinds of signals. For example they will initiate eye contact and lure you in their lustful trap. Just like a black widow spider, they are only interested in you for sex and hopefully they will not kill you and eat you.
Leggs
October 13th, 2011
11:15 am
Cold cut artist is Monica (404) 741-1075…tickets to see Ledise at Civic Ctr.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 13th, 2011
11:15 am
Celsiea:
I do understand where the guys are coming from, I’ve been shot down so many times it aint funny. It does affect a man’s ego only through strenght will we overcome the effect. I saw a lady who knew I was about to approach her, she got up and walk the other direction……LOL Hey that’s what you have to go through it shook my esteem briefly, the only thing to do is keep trying.
Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)
October 13th, 2011
11:17 am
@ robert …and that’s a bad thing?
Leggs
October 13th, 2011
11:17 am
Great example, Robert. That’s why I don’t consider myself a cougar! That was funny.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 13th, 2011
11:20 am
Oh well my lack of spelling shows up again, sorry goes out to the grammar stewards.
Albert
October 13th, 2011
11:22 am
No. I tend to jump to conclusions because I want a girl to really fall for me, and I usually end up really falling for her when she wants only to be my friend. I have only been able to tell the difference once, when my first serious girlfriend and I started to date. She practically spelled it out for me, but not because I was too obtuse not to notice. That’s just the way she was. and she’s the one who broke it off with me three years later.
Celisea
October 13th, 2011
11:22 am
Blackfoote – I hear them too. However, when did it turn to men not doing anything or making move unless there’s a marquee or chest banner before they can pursue? But really it’s not that deep for me. Nothing ventured nothing gained…lol
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 13th, 2011
11:25 am
“Strength” I know I can spell it and I didn’t have to write it a hundred times.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
October 13th, 2011
11:35 am
In my experience women aren’t going to tolerate men juking and jiving when it comes to potentionally gaining a mate. I suck it up dust myself off and get back on the Bronco. Mostly all women are beautiful anywhere around the world, that’s not an excuse not to ask one for what you want or like. Take a deep breath and go.
Randyt (aka...Been There, Done That, Have a Closet Full of T-Shirts)
October 13th, 2011
11:37 am
@ Leggs and Robert (and ITL for laughs)…I was reading an article that nature photographers had discovered in the jungles of India, that sprinkling a little Calvin Klein’s Obsession for Men on a rock, would attract female tigers from miles away. I was wondering what effect it might have on cougars at Johnny’s Hideaway, LOL
kimmie
October 13th, 2011
11:43 am
I have very little patience with the guys moaning & whining about this topic. For the simple reason that however the phone numbers are exchanged, be it the guy asking or the lady offering, men are notorious for not calling or following thru. It was my experience more often than not when dating and just had a convo with a friend that is going thru it now. Meet a guy, he seems interested, you show your interest and exchange numbers and he gets ghost.
You guys complain about not wanting rejection, yet it’s a fact of life in dating. That’s the other side of the coin – we women get rejected too, often on the backend. We learn to deal with it. I got to where when I was in a club or bar I would not even take the guys I met there serious because more often than not, if I gave them my number I was just one among many they got numbers from that night.
So this dating thing ain’t easy for either party. You won’t make a love connection until you both stop with the silly games.
There, I said my piece!
CmonSeriously
October 13th, 2011
11:47 am
@Kimmie
I have gotten womens number and didn’t call lots of times, for one reason or another, the top being that they got caught lying to me or they tried to do things that were juvenile. If I get a number I want to set up a date with a mature woman, not a girl.
kimmie
October 13th, 2011
11:48 am
Cmon – Whatever. You all have an excuse. It happens too often than not.
CmonSeriously
October 13th, 2011
11:49 am
Maybe it’s not them it’s you?
SexyCool
October 13th, 2011
11:51 am
Southern Boy – ask her if she would like to go to lunch. At lunch, ask her about what she does after work, say that you would like to take her to dinner sometime. Leave it at that. If she interested, she will indicate such.
Unless…you are looking for a hit and run, that is.
Into the Light
October 13th, 2011
11:51 am
juking and jiving
I had to LOL when I saw this; I haven’t heard that phrase in years!
LOL@Randyt. I think you should contact CK and ask for a grant to fund your research.