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Romantically challenged?

After you get past the early stages of dating, the relationship turns to the familiar and comfortable. Most couples settle into a routine, sometimes dull relationship but there is still a spark there. Keeping the romance fresh and still hot can be a challenge. Especially when it doesn’t come naturally to everyone.

To make matters more challenging, men and women may view romance differently. If you don’t make the effort to find out what your significant other considers romantic, you could end up spinning your wheels.

What was romantic to your ex-girlfriend won’t necessarily work for your new woman. Ladies, just because the last guy liked something you did, doesn’t mean the new one will.

What do you do when the person you are dating is romantically challenged? Do you clue them in or drop hints?

How do you define romance?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

227 comments Add your comment

Mike Vick

October 10th, 2011
2:28 pm

The most romantic thig I ever did was give my girl a pit bull puppy.

The most unromantic thig I ever did was drown that puppy when it couldn’t fight.

Reio

October 10th, 2011
2:28 pm

@ disco – This is off topic, but I feel the same way about Steve Harvey. Have’nt listened to him in a while( a year or so). What I can’t understand, is why the group of people on the show with him, feel the need to laugh hysterically at every word spoken. Tom Joiner and his crew are the same way. If cybal says ” Look outside, the grass is green.” Everyone, including Cybal, starts lsughing. No matter what is said, it’s immediately followed by laughter. I Just don’t get it.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

October 10th, 2011
2:30 pm

I admit hit me like a ton of bricks it’s the way some women get emotional, when you think of it romance is DOING something for a friend or a sweetheart no matter what it is.

Celisea

October 10th, 2011
2:30 pm

Romance for me is tangible mixed with intangible. Consideration, thoughtfulness. Whether it’s an occasion or event or whether efforts done as a result of caring or taking care.

Ron Burgundy

October 10th, 2011
2:30 pm

Reio – try The reguklar Guys…they actually ARE funny.

disco

October 10th, 2011
2:32 pm

I so did not read that book! in fact I pitched a soft-spoken fit re him not only giving me the book but giving me the same gift that he gave everyone else in his life. I was LIVID at the time. looking back I laugh and consider it a gag gift (though he did not gift it in a gagging spirit, he really thought that I didn’t mean what I was saying and that because the book was on a bestseller list it was worth reading). I actually returned the book to the store and got a gift card for the purchase price. I meant I had ZERO desire to read that book. and I neglected to mention that he did put cash in the cover of the book – enough to allow me to purchase the nook but I still just felt like he completely ignored my wishes re that particular book. yeah – that whole incident was something.

Reio

October 10th, 2011
2:32 pm

@ Ron Burgundy – Who are ‘The reguklar Guys’?

Exiled!

October 10th, 2011
2:35 pm

I once got a wrist watch from my wife’s step sister.

Ian not a jewel wry type dude and don’t wear a watch. Anyway,I wore it for a couple of days/weeks before I shoved it in my bathroom drawer.

Everytime we met she wld ask,’u don’t like the gift I gave u?’ I told her I appreciated the gift even tho I wasn’t big on watches. Man she was so high horse about herself and that watch that it almost bordered on being more of a curse!

That gift became so uncomfortable!

Ron Burgundy

October 10th, 2011
2:35 pm

Reio – the top rated morning radio show…they do funny bits.

This morning they did a bit where they went and interviewed some of the morons at the occupy Atlanta sit it…one guy lived in a freind backyard in a treehouse. Good stuff.

Exiled!

October 10th, 2011
2:36 pm

Wrist watch type dude

kimmie

October 10th, 2011
2:40 pm

Exiled – That is uncomfortable – when someone asks you about a gift you really don’t care for.

Reio

October 10th, 2011
2:41 pm

Ron Burgundy – Sounds like a local show. I’m in Birmingham. We can pick up V103 near the state line, but Birmingham is 150 miles west of ATL. Fred Shuttlesworth just died here, so locally, he is the big news now.

Ron Burgundy

October 10th, 2011
2:42 pm

Hey everybody, look at me! I am f@#king retarded! Woot!

Ron Burgundy

October 10th, 2011
2:44 pm

Reio – they have podcast…god stuff.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

October 10th, 2011
2:44 pm

My impression of romance was giving things like bracelets, flowers sent to her job, candy on Valentines. All those things are good, and they shouldn’t be left out of the equation, the real romance comes from the inside out to be felt by the other person.

Michelle Obama

October 10th, 2011
2:46 pm

Barrack used to not be romantic but he is now. man we go to NYC for dinners, Europe, Marthas vineyard, napa vallye. Since he got to be President we do all sorts of romantic stuff. Expensive stuff too and I get to take all my family and friends for free!

Leggs

October 10th, 2011
2:48 pm

@disco ~ I am cracking up at him buying you that book. Prime example of a guy listening with his 3rd ear. Heck $19.95 is a lot better than spending $199 (or however much it cost).

(ummmmm, 199…nope, don’t it, Leggs.)

Exiled!

October 10th, 2011
2:49 pm

We might have all people in and around Atlanta,lefties,rigties,racists,rednecks,peodos,gays,blacks,mexicans,white etc of different shades But we all drink water from the same source, for the most part!

That’s why the Braves,Falcons,Hawlks Suck!!

Take that Ron! :lol:

Ron Burgundy

October 10th, 2011
2:52 pm

Lets leave the beloved Falcons and Braves out of this. I stoped caring for the NBA when the NBA stopped caring about winning games and started caring about winning beauty contest.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

October 10th, 2011
2:53 pm

Kimmie:
Grown people ought to know it aint hard to be romantic.

disco

October 10th, 2011
2:54 pm

well, my folks always said “kids don’t take after strangers”. last year at the holidays, my son (age 22) had a friend/girl (not girlfriend) who had twin toddlers. he said he bought each of her babies a bag of pampers for xmas. I was too tickled that he bought pampers but he said he figured the kids would get plenty of toys from other sources but they would both need pampers. he definitely got that from me. I generally buy all children books for gifts. I figure most of them will get toys/games from everyone else so I always buy books.

disco

October 10th, 2011
2:56 pm

leggs – I didn’t bother mentioning that he put cash inside the front cover of the book. I guess that was for me to buy myself something. I was just so angry that he bought the book at all after I said “don’t buy me that book”. I was serious about it. heck, if steve Harvey wrote a book about my momma I wouldn’t read it. nope, I go right back to that purchase bordered on being disrespectful.

Exiled!

October 10th, 2011
2:56 pm

They ALK suck buddy,no coddling here!

In fact the Braves collapsed so bad this season,it was sad!

Let’s just give those water rights to Alabama and maybe we get our water from another source.

As for the Falcons,maybe Arthur should have brought Ron Mexico back!

Matt Ryan is a wimp!

His arm is garbage!

Exiled!

October 10th, 2011
2:58 pm

Reio

October 10th, 2011
2:59 pm

Can’t speak from a woman’s perspective, but I’ve always wanted to see who She really was. Never wanted to be impressed with thoughtful gifts. Long, interesting conversations with her(my wife), were very romantic to me, way back when. And they continue to this day. Just had a long, interesting conversation with her on what needs to be done in Sudan, Ethiopia, Somalia….to not just supply aid, but to prevent these famines in the future. Love just talking with her.

kimmie

October 10th, 2011
2:59 pm

Blackfoote – Exactly.

Ron Burgundy

October 10th, 2011
3:00 pm

Exiled – I am not into bringing felons back onto the team. I think Philly is reaping what they sow for letting that clown become a multi millionaire again. What did he have…3 or 4 picks yesterday. 100 million well spent. Matt Ryan is no Tom Brady for sure though and getting Julio Joned was dumb for what we gave up.

i'm swiss™

October 10th, 2011
3:02 pm

Hey folks, another hiring update — my company is looking for a Sales Engineer, if anyone out there interested.

SlimUno

October 10th, 2011
3:05 pm

swiss – since you’re the techjunkie, give me your thoughts. I was considering getting the beau one of those touch screen universal remotes. He already had like 4 different remotes but now that he’s just gotten one of those 3D led tv’s, I feel we’re surrounded by remotes. I thought it would make a good bday gift but then wondered if this was like buying a woman a vacuum. He likes the techy stuff too but was on the fence on whether this is a good gift idea or not.

Guys chime in if you have an opinion

abc

October 10th, 2011
3:05 pm

Disco, it wouldn’t have surprised me if he’d never bought you another gift, and would have cut you loose to boot. Your perspective on that whole story is entirely appalling. I mean really! Even including cash for the Nook was insufficient for you, with all your high-and-mighty sense of supposed receipt of supposedly disrespectful behavior — in the form of a gift! Then you turn right around and say you buy books for all the children you know — do you not think they’d feel they were treated with disrespect because you didn’t get them a video game instead?

Very odd.

Reio

October 10th, 2011
3:14 pm

disco – I hear you loud and clear. No matter what abc says. SlimUno – Would be more cost effective to just get a regular universal remote.

disco

October 10th, 2011
3:15 pm

abc – understood. but I was telling this the shortened comedic version because I do think the whole thing was comical. I didn’t say that this particular man is into restoring classic cars. I didn’t say that I knew he was looking for a particular accessory for a car he was working on. I didn’t say that I researched and hunted and put considerable effort into finding said accessory for him in addition to ordering him two books on the history of this particular car. he was very excited about the gifts that I presented to him. yes, I was quite perturbed that I did all of that and surprised him to boot when he couldn’t even purchase me the gift that I opened my mouth and asked for. as it stands now – I just accept that he’s not a good gift giver and he doesn’t always necessarily take direct instructions well. I have adjusted and adapted and if I wind up buying myself the gift that I want, so be it.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

October 10th, 2011
3:16 pm

Slim1:
Get it, anytime you DO something or Fullfill somebody needs it’s romantic.

Leggs

October 10th, 2011
3:17 pm

@disco ~ I’m with you on this one. Being appreciative of the gift wouldn’t even fit in my demeanor. I would say “thank you, but why the H.. did you buy this freaking book, when you clearly knew I didn’t want it. Do you really believe this mo fo can teach me a thing or two about relationships?” Come on baby, what were you thinking?”

:lol:

disco

October 10th, 2011
3:18 pm

oh. and as for buying kids books. I do it primarily because the kids that I am in contact with most come from households where folks generally do not encourage reading. heck, I pointed out to a cousin of mine once (said cousin has 4 children) that it was a shame that the yellow pages was the only book in her house. this was no exaggeration. so, yes I buy books for children and I encourage them to read. I even call them (I live in another state than my family members) to discuss books that I send to them in the mail. they have parents, grandparents or whoever to buy video games and toys.

Leggs

October 10th, 2011
3:19 pm

@abc ~ she said he included cash. Didn’t sound like it was enough to cover the nook.

Exiled!

October 10th, 2011
3:22 pm

Disco

I commend u on not buying video games for the kids.

Video games are bad for literacy and bad for kids physical health!

Period

abc

October 10th, 2011
3:27 pm

he did put cash in the cover of the book – enough to allow me to purchase the nook but I still just felt like he completely ignored my wishes

Hey, whatever floats your boat, yall. Just sayin. I don’t anticipate that many here would agree with me, and that’s okay.

Leggs

October 10th, 2011
3:31 pm

Oh, thanks, abc. I was going with her first post at 2:56. where she just mentioned he put cash in the front cover.

i'm swiss™

October 10th, 2011
3:33 pm

Slim — I don’t know of any guy who would be upset at receiving a tech gadget. For the remote, specifically, just make sure you do your homework about the brands/devices it supports (as well as the specific functions supported for each) — and compare that to the brands of the devices your dude has. In general, unless you have some really obscure brand devices, most universal remotes will cover you for at minimum basic functions.

Reio

October 10th, 2011
3:33 pm

abc – Wondering, why not just buy the nook? Leave the book in the store. He knew she wanted the nook, but not the book. If she does use the money to get the nook, now she’s got to lug it home herself, when he could have done it all for her, and saved the price of the book to boot. Just sayin.

Leggs

October 10th, 2011
3:40 pm

He was being assertive. He wanted her to have the book whether she wanted it or not. Heck I received the book as well, and to this day, haven’t cracked the spine!

Leggs

October 10th, 2011
3:42 pm

@Cmon ~ do you think enough time has been languished on this non-nook buying chap??? :wink:

Reio

October 10th, 2011
3:42 pm

Leggs – Better check it out. Might be some cash in it!

disco

October 10th, 2011
3:43 pm

well heck blog regulars. I’ve eased up in the spot a few times over the last week and have not been officially initiated and/or issued a blog vest. can we consider the picking apart of my pettiness re not being grateful/appreciative of a gift as my initiation?

abc

October 10th, 2011
3:43 pm

Maybe he thought the book held worthwhile information of which she was not aware; maybe there was something in it that he wanted her to know. One can only guess. I’ve put copies of the Autobiography onto folks who expressed a lack of interest in it — I figured back then, maybe they’ll change their mind and will have a copy handy if/when they did. ‘Course, I gave up on that a long time ago.

Maybe it’s just me. I’ve only rarely received a gift that was something that I’d asked for, even if in response to a query as to what I’d like. I’ve long since adopted a practice where if it’s something I want, I just go get it for myself. Now people complain that because of that, I’m hard to buy gifts for.

Oh wait, we weren’t going to talk about that anymore! :-)

Reio

October 10th, 2011
3:47 pm

disco – Still kind of new here myself. Don’t have enough cred to help you yet(I don’t think).

Exiled!

October 10th, 2011
3:49 pm

One think I know is if a man pouted about a ‘wrong’ gift he got from a romantic interest it wld be considered as killing the ‘romance’ or not being romantic.

@Disco/abc

difference is most men would say,’thank u’ and just put it aside.

No questions asked.

Not so,with our Loud counterparts!

SlimUno

October 10th, 2011
3:50 pm

make sure you do your homework about the brands/devices it supports (as well as the specific functions supported for each) — and compare that to the brands of the devices your dude has

swiss – That’s the tedious part lol Something like researching all that would be his perfect night home. I on the other hand see one that looks cool, have some good reviews and I’m like that’s good. lol

Exiled!

October 10th, 2011
3:50 pm

Yes Dear

Thank you Dear!

:lol: