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Social life keeping you single?

Earlier this week we talked about knowing what we really want in a mate and ending up with someone totally different. It reminded me of another dating conundrum: the thing that attracts you to someone in the beginning is often the same thing that drives a wedge between you two later.

For example, a man meets a woman out at a party. She is vibrant, friendly, full of life and is pretty active on the social scene. At first, he loves this about her. They get together and suddenly it’s a problem that his little social butterfly won’t sit home with him in a quiet cocoon of an existence. See what happened there? It’s a classic example of how things become a little more complicated when expectations kick in.

A lot of people I know who go out a lot are ready and willing to take on domestic/married/coupled up life. I believe that you can actually strike a nice balance of both if you wanted to. A little compromise goes a long way, doesn’t it?

Is it possible partying is keeping some people single? Yes, especially when they are out in the clubs, bars, every single night getting numbers, getting wasted – rinse, repeat, etc. That is not the same as living it up and enjoying the freedom of singlehood, though, is it? What do you think?

Have you ever dated someone who told that you go out too much?

How many times a month do you go out with friends, party, or attend some social event? Do you think this improves your chances of meeting someone? Has it been a distraction from exploring things with someone special?

When does going out and partying too much become a red flag for you?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

291 comments Add your comment

For Real

October 7th, 2011
11:43 am

ScooL: See you got a good eye. I ain’t a regular Joe I’m a trend setter. One sock is mid-calf the other sock is knee high.

For Real now posted up on the wall with one foot propped up on the wall allowing ScooL to bask in his fineness.

SexyCool

October 7th, 2011
11:47 am

Exiled!

October 7th, 2011
11:48 am

Good morning!

I believe what’s too much’ partying can only be defined by ur mate,not outsiders. Coz truthfully,no two couples are the same.

And this nonsense I hear that u have to be with ur wife almost everywhere,I don’t buy.

My wife likes to go to the mall and movies and up and about most times. I’m the total opposite. Once I check in on a Friday nite,I’m done unless I have to run a grocery errant. I have all the entertainment in my house for the most part.

The difference is,every now and then I will like to hit up Haristons or some age appropriate joint. My wife is the Total opposite. She will say,’okay’let me take a nap for a minute’ and u know that’s a wrap coz she ain’t waking up!

I will hit the joint alone,no problem.

If married folks had to go to public with the wife,sports park with the wife,movies with the wife.falcons with the wife,NBA basketball with the wife,u name it,the divorce rates would be much higher!

Looks like we have singles spinning their fantasies of what married life is like.

We all need our seperate existence to breath.

After all,haven’t u heard,If u luv it,set it free,if it doesn’t come back to u,it wasn’t urs in the first place!

For Real

October 7th, 2011
11:49 am

Slim: That is funny. The crazy thing is you can put the people into two categories. Those the look and Those the turn away.

For Real now showing Slim the hole in his sock with his pinky toe sticking thru but Slim can’t turn away.

Exiled!

October 7th, 2011
11:51 am

Leggs

October 7th, 2011
11:57 am

Perhaps it’s me, but that outfit doesn’t sound very appealing. I’m picturing him in his gators, corduroy short outfilt and socks held up with those sock straps.

SlimUno

October 7th, 2011
11:57 am

For Real – Yeah but what about the one with the guy standing behind the girl. He’s the guy that would push his girl into the killer to give him time to get away LOL Oh and what about the BIG chick with the teeny tiny man. LOL

Slim bites For Real’s Pig in a blanket

Mike P

October 7th, 2011
11:59 am

Why does it seem that when married women flirts with single guys its harmless, but when the reverse is true, that’s wrong?

Celisea

October 7th, 2011
12:00 pm

You should ask the next married woman that flirts with you? Ask her why she’s able to do that and not see anything wrong with it :)

SlimUno

October 7th, 2011
12:00 pm

And for the record, I don’t do Haunted Houses…I’ll never forget back when I was at Ga Southern, they had a Haunted Forest. I almost broke my ankle trying to run in those woods to get away. I get startled even when I forget the beau is in the house and I look up to see him standing there. lol

Leggs

October 7th, 2011
12:05 pm

“Slim bites For Real’s Pig in a blank” – ummmmm…….

Leggs

October 7th, 2011
12:06 pm

@SlimNu ~ I’m with you on being easily startled. So much I had to tell my friends during my pregnancy to not sneek up on me or “boo” me when they walk into my cubicle. I can be in my bathroom and my child appears scaring the heebie jeebies out of me…

CmonSeriously

October 7th, 2011
12:10 pm

Mike, there is no double standard there

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 7th, 2011
12:11 pm

Good come back Celisea…

thewindwhistler

October 7th, 2011
12:12 pm

That is a great question. I really like it. I can absolutely, positively see going out every night. That is where the action is. Staying home is fine for the infirmed, elderly and recluses. Live for the moment, go for the gold, going the limit is all there is. Leave the daytime for others, come out and shine at night. All of that being said, I go to bed at 9:00 pm. Sleep grandly, wake up with a wonderful feeling, wonderful day, zippedy du dah, everything going my way.

Celisea

October 7th, 2011
12:14 pm

Sassy – :) Always always making it a battle

Celisea

October 7th, 2011
12:15 pm

thewindwhistler – All of that being said, I go to bed at 9:00 pm. Sleep grandly, wake up with a wonderful feeling, wonderful day, zippedy du dah, everything going my way

LOL…I see you got jokes :mrgreen:

abc

October 7th, 2011
12:22 pm

When does going out and partying too much become a red flag for you?

It seems to me, in the context of of this topic and given many of the responses (I haven’t read even half of them though), what we’re talking about here is boozers out on the town. Sidebar is a desire to go out boozing on the town (clubs, ball games, whatever) without your SO, so as to minimize any governance that they might have on your behavior, or that you’d impose upon yourself due to their presence — ergo, you can’t go messing with chicks in the club if wifey is there, nor make a spectacle of yourself the boys at the ball game.

Uh… grow up! The club scene is a dead end waste of time, money and brain cells. Ball games that you attend with your wife should be enjoyable — if you’re married to a chick that doesn’t like to attend games at Turner Field but you’re a die hard Braves fan, maybe there’s a bit of a disconnect between you and yours.

Exiled!

October 7th, 2011
12:23 pm

One thing I know,especially for u the younger ladies,when u get married and ate blessed with kids,u are going to become more motherly,faster than ur hubby is gonna be fatherly.

It’s that females maturing faster thing. So it’s more than likely,ur hubby won’t be grounded and as wanting to be homely as urself coz he will still have that immature bug in him. Don’t fret on him too much if he wants to go out eve now and the,without u.

And U,on ur part,as long as u don’t neglect ur body,get complacent and get oozing fat,u be aaaaaight. Trust! :lol:

And

Mike P

October 7th, 2011
12:28 pm

@Celisea: You really don’t wanna know all the excuses/reasons I hear about why the marrieds flirts with me, nor would you wanna know how often they flirt with me and cavalier they go about it. lets just say, I’m holding on to dear life that my faith in the institution of marriage, and its waning.

Exiled!

October 7th, 2011
12:30 pm

Celisea

October 7th, 2011
12:35 pm

Mike – You really don’t wanna know all the excuses/reasons I hear about why the marrieds flirts with me, nor would you wanna know how often they flirt with me and cavalier they go about it

Not to to be too blunt but other’s behavior should be neither here nor there with you. You can only control what you do.

Celisea

October 7th, 2011
12:38 pm

Mike P – Maybe you’re a hawttie. You can’t help it :)

SexyCool

October 7th, 2011
12:40 pm

They can’t flirt by themselves. And if there is ongoing flirting, you are an active party, right? So, it would seem that all parties are misbehaving.

SlimUno

October 7th, 2011
12:45 pm

Leggs – Did you ever see that vid of a prank where they scare this pregnant women when she walks into the house and her water breaks and gushes out?

SlimUno

October 7th, 2011
12:48 pm

Re: topic

My ex was and still is a super partier. It was always this homeboy’s birthday, VIP here, VIP there, poker party on and on and on. He is one of those ‘life of party’ type folks and it got old. There is nothing wrong with a little party here and there but if you are not taking care of your responsibilities then partying should not be one of your priorities. He’d ‘ball out’ on a night in the VIP but be behind on the gas, electric, insert other bill here.

Mark

October 7th, 2011
12:48 pm

Celisea…do you even know English? Jeez…you might be an intelligent person, but you come off like some sort of street trash. Do you really think anyone of quality is going to be interested in you when you can’t even form an intelligent sentence? Wow…this girl needs some education. I hope you never breed…the world doesn’t need anymore illiterate idiots.

Leggs

October 7th, 2011
12:51 pm

@SlimUno ~ no, I haven’t. Why would anyone even consider scaring a pregnant woman?

Celisea

October 7th, 2011
12:54 pm

Mark – Jeez…you might be an intelligent person, but you come off like some sort of street trash.

Did you read what you wrote? Oxymoronic at best…lol As long as I “come off as intelligent” then umm no need for me to retort :mrgreen: Let me stay trashy :)

Here let me go further and help you out:

Colloquialism – A word or phrase that is common in everyday, unconstrained conversation rather than in formal speech, academic writing, or paralinguistics.

Yes, yes I know some regular sitting back taking jabs. Bet you won’t say it under your real moniker.

SlimUno

October 7th, 2011
12:55 pm

a desire to go out boozing on the town (clubs, ball games, whatever) without your SO, so as to minimize any governance that they might have on your behavior

abc – Agreed in some cases. I know at times if I expressed a desire to go along, my ex would be like, “No one else is bringing their girlfriends or boo’s”…If I pointed out that some other girls were still going he’d combat that with, well they are just friends of the crew, not anyone’s SO.

Celisea

October 7th, 2011
12:57 pm

I just feel honored to be one of the ones that gets an anonymous jab from someone sitting back in the cut hating :mrgreen:

Celisea

October 7th, 2011
12:58 pm

Oh and I know who you are…bite me

How’s THAT for trashy

HST

October 7th, 2011
12:59 pm

Mark, watch out these girls think they’re witty and their crap doesn’t stink.

Mike, I meet more married women ready to have sex than single women. So much so lately, I have rebuked the institution of marriage.

I do think we all flirt no matter what the relationship status. We all want to know we’re desired sexually. Now being inappropriate about those actions is different than harmless smiles, winks or second looks.

Celisea

October 7th, 2011
1:00 pm

you might be an intelligent person and when you can’t even form an intelligent sentence? Wow…this girl needs some education

Which is it Markie Mark? Yeah that’s funny. And you’re addressing me?

SexyCool

October 7th, 2011
1:02 pm

Every so often, an element invades this blog that is like a cancer. It is quite unpleasant.

HST

October 7th, 2011
1:07 pm

What element are you exactly SC? Some could be saying the same thing about you.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 7th, 2011
1:08 pm

I know some regular sitting back taking jabs. Bet you won’t say it under your real moniker.

you know they won’t….

Celisea…you’re something else chica!! :lol:

SexyCool

October 7th, 2011
1:08 pm

I made a very general statement. However, hit dogs do holler.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 7th, 2011
1:08 pm

Cosign Sexy…

SlimUno

October 7th, 2011
1:09 pm

Leggs – I have no idea why one would attempt to scare a pregnant women who is clearly close to birthing time. Cruel wicked humor I suppose.

What’s everybody got planned for the weekend? I’m going to hit up the Halloween store to see if I can find me a little summin summin to wear to the cabins for our costume party night. Working a few hours tomorrow afternoon, might grab a drink or two with the girls later and then Sunday I get to pick the beau up from the airport. ;-)

SexyCool

October 7th, 2011
1:10 pm

Additionally, I find it quite interesting that you are able to respond to a general statement but not a direct question.

Celisea

October 7th, 2011
1:12 pm

Wuuf wuuf…exactly

Sassy – Nope shole (how that for idiotic Markie) won’t. :)

HST

October 7th, 2011
1:13 pm

I really don’t get this multiple screen name conspiracy. If you’re doing that please stop and use one screen name. Just say what you want under your SN or moniker, don’t be weak-sauce.

Celisea

October 7th, 2011
1:13 pm

And HST don’t want me to go back a couple of days where he committed a faux pas in dual blogging. I didn’t say anything because it wasn’t worth it. You put it on the sidewalk HST and mystery man, we’ll kick in the street.

How that for trashy and alleybat??

HST

October 7th, 2011
1:15 pm

I have no idea what your talking about but please show it. I have NEVER used another SN.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 7th, 2011
1:16 pm

HST

October 7th, 2011
1:19 pm

I’ve never dual blogged. This is my first blog I’ve read and commented on. Because I’m single and will be for life. I came here to see what is thought by singles. I have no calamitous intent towards anyone or anything ever in life.

FTR, I love the movie Anchorman and thought RB was funny. I have no idea who any of you are.

HST

October 7th, 2011
1:23 pm

I think it was stated earlier here about older people looking pathetic in bars. I agree and unfortunately I am approaching 40. I’ve turned to on-line dating and I swore I’d never do that. I’m just trying to keep up with the times. I was hoping to receive insight from other singles in my city. Some of the off the cuff remarks are funny and keep it fresh out here. Then again, some of the remarks are just meant to be mean. The single life…

SlimUno

October 7th, 2011
1:24 pm

What does the HST stand for, if you don’t mind me asking?

Leggs

October 7th, 2011
1:29 pm

@Celisea ~ didn’t we have this convo earlier this week or the ending of last week about the jargon used here. It’s all in fun. Everyone on this blog has a degree of some sort and has passed more than English 101. People need to lighten up. We’re not writing a thesis here.

“…don’t be weak-sauce.” That has got to be one of the corniest phrases I’ve ever heard on BGC. But, it has grown on me