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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Are men in trouble?

I read CNN’s opinion piece by William Bennett called “Why Men Are in Trouble” and it made me think hard about men. In the article, Bennett outlines why he thinks men today are not showing strong signs of grasping what being a man is about.

It’s interesting that Bennett addresses a lack of maturity that he thinks is a big part of the problem. To wit:

“Just ask young women about men today. You will find them talking about prolonged adolescence and men who refuse to grow up. I’ve heard too many young women asking, “Where are the decent single men?” There is a maturity deficit among men out there, and men are falling behind.”

If men are in trouble, what does this mean for the future of our dating relationships?

Do you agree that men are not stepping up to the plate in their transition from boys to men?

Another thing that stood out in the article is the fact that Bennett sited a “decline in virtues” that men are showing less success/interest in work, marriage, and religion. Would you agree?

Do you think men are in trouble?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

373 comments Add your comment

Lord Velonese

October 5th, 2011
3:35 pm

sorry abc thought you were a woman because you type like one.

CmonSeriously

October 5th, 2011
3:35 pm

From my experience true selflessness is rare.

SexyCool

October 5th, 2011
3:36 pm

Regardless of what your justification is for your views are, Mike, if you cannot share that with your partner, you are already experiencing one of the biggest problems in relationships – the inability to communicate.

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
3:36 pm

I agree Mike. Women whine and moan about everything but have it made. they tend to always want the door held or whatever and then they want ot get into the workplace….you cannot have both.

May I suggest a marriage lit mus test?

Does she like football? No
Does she talk bad about friends? yes
Does she smoke weed or mind if you do? No
Does she have “big girl” potential? Yes

FAIL!

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
3:37 pm

Dang….Gar nailed it.

CmonSeriously

October 5th, 2011
3:38 pm

Selflessness usually hits the floor when someone asks to split the check on a rough month, but he still wants to be with his woman, let’s see how far selflessness goes then.

kimmie

October 5th, 2011
3:38 pm

Mike – Sounds like you’re planning for a divorce coming out of the gate. More concentration needs to be on picking the right person. Even after choosing carefully, things still may not go as planned. You have to have faith.

TOm

October 5th, 2011
3:39 pm

She also has the right to kill your unborn child without your consent or keep the child and a large percentage of your income to raise the child. The husbands choice is to stand by and watch her decide. My feeling is you should be able to have the right to choose or the right to a payment, but you can’t demand both.

abc

October 5th, 2011
3:39 pm

You’re wrong about ‘now needing two incomews to purchase the same goods and services’. Consider the cost of living in 1980 vs. the cost of living in 2011. With 1980 costs adjusted for inflation — roughly devaluing the dollar 2.5 times —

In 1980 the average house cost (in current dollars) $175K; average salary, $55K; average car cost, $18K; cost of a gallon of gas, $3. Things cost about the same, people made about the same amount of money.

kimmie

October 5th, 2011
3:40 pm

SCool – You said it.

Leggs

October 5th, 2011
3:41 pm

Well said, abc. I wholeheartedly agree. You desire to be a benefit. If you have that belief going in, things are so much easier.

It was said here years ago, 50/50 doesn’t work for a successful marriage. If he gives at least 80% of what he has to please his wife (nonsexual) and she gives 80% of herself to please him, longevity will surely follow.

Mike

October 5th, 2011
3:43 pm

Thanks for the advice ladies, though I didn’t ask for it. I love my GF very much.
I don’t talk to her about it because she would take it personally and be threatened or feel insecure while I’m trying to have a conceptual discussion about an institution. When marriage becomes a more real option in our life we’ll have that discussion, I’m not worried about our ability to communicate.
Kimmie – I don’t break up because our relationship is healthy and I’ve never lied or made promises I don’t intend to keep. I also can’t see into the future. I find it annoying that on some level being with her now is considered a “promise” that I will marry her later. Seems like playing the victim to act like I “owe” it to her to get married.
I think women realize they have a smaller window to find a mate and have children so they put a lot more pressure on men to “pull the trigger and commit.”

abc

October 5th, 2011
3:43 pm

In your ear, sociopath. You type like an illiterate cretin. Please do stay single, and please don’t propagate your idiocy through having children.

Now, of course, yall are just idly playing, and I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t make for much meaningful conversation though. It does illustrate a bit of a lack of maturity, IMHO, but that’s the point of the topic, isn’t it? Men who suffer from Peter Pan syndrome, of a sort?

Well, just think of a wonderful thought, then, any happy little thought. You can fly.

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
3:45 pm

Men who suffer from Peter Pan syndrome, of a sort?

Well, just think of a wonderful thought, then, any happy little thought. You can fly.

LOLOLOL…I wasn’t expecting that abc…

Lord Velonese

October 5th, 2011
3:45 pm

Ok I am done for the day you folks are giving me gas.

kimmie

October 5th, 2011
3:50 pm

Mike – Good luck to you both. And if the thought of marriage to you is like a “debt owed” or “pulling the trigger” then you are very right to be reconsidering doing it at all. Everything in life isn’t fair, and you are right, we ladies don’t have a lot of play time if we want to have children easily and safely. Those are the cards we are dealt.

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
3:50 pm

Mike may I suggest a few other litmus test for marriage that men should follow?

Does your girl consider getting a diet coke with her varsity chilli dogs dieting?
Does your girlfriend have 4 cats?
Does yor girlfriend take part in protest?
Does your girlfriend like acousticguitar?

FAIL
FAIL!

Barbara Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
3:52 pm

I am Ron’s wife. Is Ron as ass-hole? Why yes. Yes. He is.

SexyCool

October 5th, 2011
3:53 pm

Hilarious, abc.

Lord Velonese

October 5th, 2011
3:53 pm

Who’s the sociopath, I do hope the name calling isn’t being directed at me, either way name calling shows lack of maturity.

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
3:53 pm

You are a smelly pirate hooker barbara!

Gary

October 5th, 2011
3:55 pm

ABC, I was thinking back a little bit. Try 1960 were there were very few women in the workplace. In 1980 every family I knew was a two income family. While the wifes income was significantly less in most cases. These days the salary has closed significantly.

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
3:57 pm

Lord V – Quit ya being so sensitive. I think abc was directing that at the lamo that’s been here a week now changing monikers and have something crass to say behind everybody’s comments

Lord Velonese

October 5th, 2011
3:59 pm

I figured as much, just wanted to clarify.

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
3:59 pm

Boo Boo the Clown :)

Mike

October 5th, 2011
4:01 pm

Kimmie – My point exactly, I hate to be made to feel that I “owe” it to her to propose or that it has the happen in a specific time frame, hence the pull the trigger comment. I do intend to raise a family one day and I’m pretty sure I’ve found the right girl to do it with. That said, it’s not something that’s going to happen because of external pressures or her imaginary life schedule, it will happen when it feels right to me. She can propose any time, equal opportunity.

SexyCool

October 5th, 2011
4:02 pm

She can propose any time, equal opportunity.

Yep….men are in trouble.

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
4:03 pm

Wow Celisea….you sure ot post a lot in my regard to be ignoring.

Lord Velonese

October 5th, 2011
4:11 pm

So what if I can be sensitive Celisea. (Sticks tongue out and runs away) Mwuhahahahahahaha!

kimmie

October 5th, 2011
4:12 pm

her imaginary life schedule,

Mike – Oh that biological clock is very real, not imaginary at all. You are talking to one who dearly loves children and would have had a house full or at least one. Things did not work out that way for me. I now have 2 stepchildren that I love like my own and am honored to share in raising. But it’s definitely not how I envisioned it for myself.

Leggs

October 5th, 2011
4:14 pm

” In 1980 every family I knew was a two income family” – Most of the families I knew was single families headed by the woman who worked.

And someone has the nerve to talk about another person being immature…that’s Rich!

Mike

October 5th, 2011
4:15 pm

SexyCool – what’s that supposed to mean? Do you think it’s unfair that if my pacing isn’t working out for her, she has the option to propose?

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
4:17 pm

Lord V…lol Good to see a humorous side.

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 5th, 2011
4:19 pm

if you don’t feed strays they usually leave…I’m jus’ sayin’

kimmie

October 5th, 2011
4:19 pm

Mike – What good would it do for her to propose, if like you said, you aren’t ready or it doesn’t feel right? It has to be the right time for the both of you.

Mike

October 5th, 2011
4:20 pm

Kimmie – Sorry to hear that things didn’t work out as planned but it sounds like you found a great way to deal with the situation and improve the lives of two children. I commend you.

SexyCool

October 5th, 2011
4:21 pm

If you are not asking her because you are not ready, what is different from her asking you before you are ready?

Are you going to say yes just because she asked? Or will you then have the discussion regarding your philosophical views regarding the institution of marriage?

So, she asks and either you capitulate to the external pressure…or because you are not ready to take that step, you say no. Okay…well, yeah…I am sure you can see how she might take that personally.

And..does she know that she can propose to you?

Mike

October 5th, 2011
4:23 pm

Again, I agree with you Kimmie. Timing should be right for both of us. My point is that I’m not holding her hostage. She has the option to pose the question now and ask for an answer or she can wait for me to act when the timing feels right. I’m just trying to illustrate that she’s not the victim, though people tend to portray it that way.

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
4:23 pm

Sassy – if you don’t feed strays they usually leave…I’m jus’ sayin’

This one is more like a rabid dog that needs a bullet to get it done.

SexyCool

October 5th, 2011
4:24 pm

Does she ever bring up the topic of marriage? If so, what do you say?

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
4:25 pm

Wow Celisea is not only racist but violent. If I don’t “stay with my own kind” I get a bullet. I guess some men ARE in trouble!

Sassy Me..Sun Kissed ;-)

October 5th, 2011
4:26 pm

This one is more like a rabid dog that needs a bullet to get it done.

:lol:

Leggs

October 5th, 2011
4:26 pm

Too funny, Celisea.

kimmie

October 5th, 2011
4:29 pm

Mike – I never said she was a victim, just like I’m not a victim. It is her life just like it’s yours. One persons life should not be subject to another person’s whims.

Mike

October 5th, 2011
4:30 pm

SexyCool – I’m not necessarily going to say yes, but I will answer. If the answer is no, of course we’d end up in that discussion about my views on the institution of marriage or whatever other reason is dictating that I answer “No.” Again, point being that she isn’t forced to play a passive role.

It’s a personal question, of course the answer will be taken personally. Discussing the merits of the institution of marriage with the person you may ask one day is just the wrong audience. It’s impossible to keep that from becoming personal, hence the reason I’m having this conversation with her. It’s not that I can’t, it’s just not worth the effort to calm her down after the fact.

Mike

October 5th, 2011
4:31 pm

Yes, she does bring up the topic of marriage and let’s it be known that she intends to marry me. What I say depends on the conversation.

Dante

October 5th, 2011
4:31 pm

Where are the decent single men you ask? Well where are the decent single women I ask?
I have no intention of gettin married and neither do a lot of guys i know. I think this post pretty much sums up what a lot guys are thinking
http://sxmodels.blogspot.com/2009/11/why-men-increasingly-avoid-marriage.html
Maarriage has become meaningless for men.

Mike

October 5th, 2011
4:33 pm

** hence the reason I’m NOT having this conversation with her.

SexyCool

October 5th, 2011
4:34 pm

I will agree to disagree, if you will.

I sincerely wish you all the best with your wonderful lady. And should you/she/the both of you decide to take the next step, I do hope that pre-marital counseling will be a part of the equation.

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
4:35 pm

Mike…sounds like you are being pressured. make sure you have all your affairs in order. the ship is sinking. remember my test..

Does your girl like waiting to exhale?
Does she not like mustache rides?
Does she send out christmas cards with her and her cats?

FAIL!