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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Are men in trouble?

I read CNN’s opinion piece by William Bennett called “Why Men Are in Trouble” and it made me think hard about men. In the article, Bennett outlines why he thinks men today are not showing strong signs of grasping what being a man is about.

It’s interesting that Bennett addresses a lack of maturity that he thinks is a big part of the problem. To wit:

“Just ask young women about men today. You will find them talking about prolonged adolescence and men who refuse to grow up. I’ve heard too many young women asking, “Where are the decent single men?” There is a maturity deficit among men out there, and men are falling behind.”

If men are in trouble, what does this mean for the future of our dating relationships?

Do you agree that men are not stepping up to the plate in their transition from boys to men?

Another thing that stood out in the article is the fact that Bennett sited a “decline in virtues” that men are showing less success/interest in work, marriage, and religion. Would you agree?

Do you think men are in trouble?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

373 comments Add your comment

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
2:36 pm

Thanks Sexy, Jake and Swiss…okay so when I walk uptown and back it’s usually 3 – 4 miles (round trip) done in about 40 minutes. I guess that’s probably more accurate 20 minutes for 1 – 2 miles.

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
2:39 pm

Now now Lord V….why oh why do the men beat up on the women so much?? I say everybody go to their side of the sandbox and stay separated. What then? Right ya’ll need women as much as it pains ya’ll…riiight and women need men as much as some protest not.

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
2:41 pm

And just let me clarify when I say I didn’t follow but in the same breath said it worked for me. I didn’t get babies or engage until I was FULLY GROWN. An adult over 20.

A Woman

October 5th, 2011
2:42 pm

Wait… what’s wrong with prolonged adolescence and why are men the only ones who get to have one??

Exiled!

October 5th, 2011
2:43 pm

Michael B/HST/Ron?

I know or have heard of multiple personality disorder but not Triple personality disorder.

How did U get it?
Or is that one and the same thing?

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
2:44 pm

Exiled…DON’T DO IT…keep them muted

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
2:46 pm

Would you need to be on the Maury Povich show to find out your babies daddy? Yes
Have you ever used rent money to get a tattoo?
Have you ever picked up a half smoked cigerette butt off the ground and smoked it? Yes

FAIL!

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
2:47 pm

Have you ever acted like a 3rd grader and tried to get people on an open forum to ignore someone you know is right? Yes

FAIL!

Lord Velonese

October 5th, 2011
2:47 pm

Please don’t speak for every man Cel, I am quite independent, whether I die alone or married, I’ll have a smile on my face. The small desire for Companionship isn’t holding me hostage for anything, I can go with or without, simple. Forward March!

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
2:50 pm

Lord V – doidn’t you know? That Celisea lady is like hte mother hen of this forum. She is right…just ask her.

Leggs

October 5th, 2011
2:52 pm

Either that Lord V or shrivel up in a corner woe is me! Keep on trucking baby…. :wink:

i'm swiss™

October 5th, 2011
2:53 pm

C — Here’s my kind of sex education (from Monty Python):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDoQFcQEpOQ

(Warning: not work appropriate) :lol:

“What’s wrong with a kiss, boy?” :lol:

abc

October 5th, 2011
2:53 pm

shutup, shutup, shutup already, dude, with all the different names you’re entering into here today. Can you come up with a line of questions that would qualify one to be a sociopath? Sure you can. We already know that.

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
2:55 pm

Actually Lord V – I’m not speaking for every man. I was actually teasing a bit and speaking in general. Heck I can’t speak for no man. Smile back at me man…I’m smiling at you.

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
2:56 pm

Swiss — Here’s my kind of sex education (from Monty Python):

Ut uh man….no way am I touching that link. I’m scurrred

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
2:56 pm

abc – Love it…lol

Lord Velonese

October 5th, 2011
2:59 pm

Leggs

October 5th, 2011
3:03 pm

OJ

October 5th, 2011
3:03 pm

Is it considered immature to murder you ex wife and her friend?

HST

October 5th, 2011
3:04 pm

I am me and me only. I do use a screen name.

Mike

October 5th, 2011
3:04 pm

Copy/Pasting this from the CNN article but I couldn’t have said it better myself. What are your thoughts?

My theory is that young men have chosen to opt out of an increasingly one sided
game. If the rewards for “Manning Up” are Marriage (and subsequent
divorce) then why would they opt in? Beer, games and blow cost a lot
less than shoes, dresses and handbags. You don’t need much money to enjoy being a couch potato, so why take the risk of losing EVERYTHING with marriage?

It used to be observed, probably correctly, that marriage was society’s way of civilizing men. But if divorce is so much more effective for women, then young men will not choose marriage. You have to make marriage seem MORE life enhancing than less. At the moment the alternatives look a lot less grief and all the shaming language in the world (as evidenced by most of the women on this thread) will not change that an iota.

If you want men to “Man Up”, then you have to radically overhaul marriage, divorce, custody arrangements and the family courts. And stop using the phrase “Man Up” when you mean “Do what I want”.

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
3:07 pm

I agree Mike…divorce blows…especially when she is a stripper.

Leggs

October 5th, 2011
3:08 pm

I don’t think “Man Up” exclusively means “Do What I want.” It means be a man and take responsibility the direction your life has turned and stop make excuses. No one can guide your life down a particular path unless you’re a willing participant. That’s “manning up!”

HST

October 5th, 2011
3:08 pm

Psychopath Test

Do you take the internet as serious business? yes
Are you a woman who is lonely despite her relationship status? yes
Do you constantly think there’s a conspiracy? yes
Do you think of yourself as more than you are? yes
You had kid out of wedlock or with a loser? yes

Yep, you’re a psychopath.

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
3:09 pm

WOW HST….SHE GOT KNOCKED THA *(%*( OUT!!!

Lord Velonese

October 5th, 2011
3:10 pm

Wow that was a mouth full Mike, I like. So is 36 considered a young man?

CmonSeriously

October 5th, 2011
3:10 pm

HST love the test

CmonSeriously

October 5th, 2011
3:12 pm

kimmie

October 5th, 2011
3:13 pm

I don’t think a guy has to get married & have kids to be a man and contribute to society. It’s mature to admit that you are not ready to marry and father kids or admit that marriage and fatherhood are not for you.

AND,if you hate women that much, like some of you sound, please do us all a favor and stay to yourself. You’re probably no prize anyway.

CmonSeriously

October 5th, 2011
3:15 pm

Kimmie- OH SNAP

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
3:17 pm

I love women Kimmie….especially ones with big veluptuos minds.

HST

October 5th, 2011
3:18 pm

Mike, that is a great article. I wrote something parallel in my first post on this topic.

Mike

October 5th, 2011
3:19 pm

I hope that didn’t come across as hating women. I have a gf who I love very much but I have to be honest, the whole marriage thing is daunting. It’s obviously not something I can talk to her about but the whole institution does feel one-sided and I find myself wondering if I want to get involved.

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
3:20 pm

There is a proper joke to marriage….

Groom stand at aler with big smile….groomsman ask why he is smiling….groom says “I just got a BJ!”

Bride stans at alter also smiling…..bridesmaid asks why she is smiling….bride says “I just gave my last BJ ever”

Lord Velonese

October 5th, 2011
3:20 pm

I don’t hate women there is too much of a double standard between us, and when there is a more clear benefit for both parties, I’ll be more in favor of it.

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
3:23 pm

Mike….if you like making love to to girls faces…then do not get married

SexyCool

October 5th, 2011
3:24 pm

“It’s obviously not something I can talk to her about”

Then she’s probably not the one you should be marrying.

abc

October 5th, 2011
3:25 pm

Yall have it completely backwards. It’s not when you feel that she can bring some benefit to you; it’s when you want to be of benefit to her. If you don’t put your partner’s welfare ahead of your own, by all means, stay single. It’s that kind of attitude that makes for high divorce rates.

Marriage isn’t for everybody. Parenthood isn’t for everybody. But, parenthood without marriage is good for nobody, especially the kids. If you don’t get married, don’t have kids. Simple.

SexyCool

October 5th, 2011
3:29 pm

Very well said, abc.

CmonSeriously

October 5th, 2011
3:29 pm

abc
I think benefit should be for both, it should not make a liability for either to get married, though that is hardly the case now a days.

kimmie

October 5th, 2011
3:30 pm

Mike – Why is it something you don’t want to talk about with her? If it’s something she wants and you don’t, you owe it to her to tell her so she won’t waste her time. I wasted a lot of my precious years dating guys who were nice, but did not want a commitment. Either they did not want marriage or wanted it, just not with me. I was afraid I would scare them off by not stating what I wanted and thought I could change their minds. Boy was I wrong. I have mad respect for a guy that is man enough to admit that’s not what he wants. That is “manning up” in my book. Life is too short.

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
3:31 pm

Mike – Manning up has nothing to do with anyone but yourself

abc

October 5th, 2011
3:31 pm

If you consider it a liability up front, then either she’s the wrong person for you, or you’re not marriage material, or she isn’t, or maybe all of those. If selflessness isn’t part of the equation, just don’t do it.

kimmie

October 5th, 2011
3:32 pm

abc – Cosign. Now that sounds like a real man.

SexyCool

October 5th, 2011
3:32 pm

If you cannot see the benefit in being married to the person your with, then you’ve picked the wrong person.

Lord Velonese

October 5th, 2011
3:32 pm

“it’s when you want to be of benefit to her”

Tsk Tsk, typical female, all about the woman, marriage/relationships is a two way street honey!

abc

October 5th, 2011
3:32 pm

…and frankly, I can relate to that. If not for the specific, very girl I have, I’d not even think about marriage. No way, no how. Nope!

kimmie

October 5th, 2011
3:33 pm

abc – Many don’t understand the concept of selflessness.

Mike

October 5th, 2011
3:34 pm

I think y’all are missing the point. It’s not the individuals involved here, it’s the institution of marriage and society norms that makes the benefits of getting married lopsided towards women. Kind of a have your cake and eat it too thing for women. Women are treated as a minority, even though they are a fiscal and numerical majority, and enjoy all the benefits of minority status, like college admissions, legal proceedings, etc. Per the stats in this article, it seems like men could use some help but in almost any situation where the state in involved in a conflict between men and women, men come up on the short end of the stick.

Gary

October 5th, 2011
3:34 pm

Welcome to womens liberation movement. You now need two incomes to purchase the same goods and services. There are twice as many people trying to get into the workforce. You now need two cars. You must pay other to help raise your children. School has become the baby sitter rather than and educational process. Parents simply do not have the time, energy, or will to seriously address the issues their own children face. Childhood obesity because of fast food family meals and pizza delivery. Children being raised by PS3 and the internet. A huge increase in the divource rate. Worst of all, they seem to keep voting for democrats. I hope it was worth it.