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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Are men in trouble?

I read CNN’s opinion piece by William Bennett called “Why Men Are in Trouble” and it made me think hard about men. In the article, Bennett outlines why he thinks men today are not showing strong signs of grasping what being a man is about.

It’s interesting that Bennett addresses a lack of maturity that he thinks is a big part of the problem. To wit:

“Just ask young women about men today. You will find them talking about prolonged adolescence and men who refuse to grow up. I’ve heard too many young women asking, “Where are the decent single men?” There is a maturity deficit among men out there, and men are falling behind.”

If men are in trouble, what does this mean for the future of our dating relationships?

Do you agree that men are not stepping up to the plate in their transition from boys to men?

Another thing that stood out in the article is the fact that Bennett sited a “decline in virtues” that men are showing less success/interest in work, marriage, and religion. Would you agree?

Do you think men are in trouble?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

373 comments Add your comment

My 2.5 Cents

October 5th, 2011
10:42 am

Waiting for off topic discussion…

CmonSeriously

October 5th, 2011
10:43 am

GET A JOB, GET OFF THE COUCH, STOP SPONGING OFF OF OTHER PEOPLE. You do those things and you will see more men.

Musinglee

October 5th, 2011
10:43 am

Maybe there are too many men being taught to be men by women. Young men need more men teaching them to be men. Both men and women are to blame for that.

DmdJoe

October 5th, 2011
10:44 am

Blame it on the Feminist movement.

Women do not understand what it is to be a woman in this culture &

Men do not know what a Man should be any more…. That Simple…..

Sleazy Man

October 5th, 2011
10:46 am

Just because I smoke dope, pop pills, have sleazy tatts on my body, would not work in a pie factory, have a slimey mouthsmoke,,etc,etc is no reason for a respectable woman to not like me. Oh, by the way, some of the women I have dated have the same attributes as me so guess that should make em love me,lol.

Leggs

October 5th, 2011
10:46 am

Exactly, Celisea. My stance is and always will be….I didn’t take your manhood away from you, you gave it to me on a silver platter. My ex used to tell me this and this was my only response while I walked away. No way on God’s green Earth will a man ever convince me that I took his manhood away from him. Sheet, it shouldn’t even be discussed…be a man and do what you’re supposed to do as a man, and I will do what’s expected of me as a woman! If I’m carrying both of us and see no contribution from you, guess who’s going to be dropped on their head.

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
10:46 am

Men who cry are immature. i mean what are we babires. Women are always telling us ot be more sensitive and yet thye want us to be mature too? You cannot have both!

HST

October 5th, 2011
10:46 am

Ron B, no it is not. My blow up is jealous because I had to get another to ride in the Pay lane for free. Is it weird I want to dress them up like twins?

CmonSeriously

October 5th, 2011
10:47 am

Joe, I think that is BS, knowledge you can lose, this is INSTINCT!!!! Being slackers is just convient.

Purple Reign

October 5th, 2011
10:47 am

Sexy Cool and kimmie, I just don’t make or entertain excuses or reasons on “manhood” I know my son won’t have a problem being a man. I can see it in his eyes already, he watches my every move…even when I am just sitting there in deep thought. lol

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
10:49 am

Muslinglee – I agree. That’s why men should be selective when chosing partners and having sex. More often than not, after a child is produced THEEEEEN we discover we can’t deal with one another. And who’s the victim, the child. If I was a man, no way in Hades would a woman or the lack of relationship we have stop me from raising and being apart of my child’s life. No way.

I didn’t have a relationship with my kid’s dad during her smaller years because he was a bad influence (IMO). When I said no because he seemingly had no clue that you can’t do and say anything in front of kids, that you have to change your actions, rather than step it up and become a man, the man he opted to ALLOW me to remove him from the picture. Yes a woman has the right to protect her child’s influences but if that means you the dad, then step it up and change your actions. If she’s doing it out of spite knowing you’re a good man, that’s an easy one. You have nothing to fix, you move in and get it done.

SexyCool

October 5th, 2011
10:54 am

I will make this one comment about the topic. The majority of men AND women do not mature into the true definitions of their manhood or womanhood until they have reached a certain age. Can it be that we are expecting men and women who have not had enough life experience and learned to behave in a way that they are not yet prepared to do so?

If anything, I believe that it is a rarity for anyone under a certain age and without certain experiences to stand up and shoulder all of the responsibilities of ADULThood.

“When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.”

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
10:55 am

I am very protective of my child…not over protective but protective. Yes, I catch case number any day. Protective so much so that I had to cut back, cut out and eliminate things I had going on.

We can be selfish people and I think that’s the crux of today’s topic. Everybody can’t have everything they want and if you don’t get it you move on. Where’s the middle ground, the compromise, the adjusting? No it’s for me, all about me, towards me and if not centered around me, I’m out. Yeah, wonder where we’ll be 10 years from now?

Off topic: EYE CANDY IS IN THE BUILDING :) I’m timing his next stroll. I was a stinker and took a stroll myself to get a poptart :mrgreen:

SexyCool

October 5th, 2011
10:55 am

And more so than a rarity, I should have said that it is the exception rather than the rule.

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
10:57 am

And yes men and women of tomorrow are in trouble. My generation have the groundings and roots of yesteryear. It’s tomorrow’s generation I think will suffer the most of men not being and becoming men and women not being or becoming women.

SexyCool

October 5th, 2011
10:58 am

Reaching 18 or 21 or whatever age that our society has predetermined that a person is LEGALLY an adult does not mean that the individual has grown and matured out of childhood or adolescence.

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
11:00 am

Reaching 18 or 21 or whatever age that our society has predetermined that a person is LEGALLY an adult does not mean that the individual has grown and matured out of childhood or adolescence.

Exactly. I told my kid this morning to enjoy life and pace herself. I told get yourself there ahead of really being there and she’s going to have regrets. I told her enjoy the scenery, let it all soak in and learn…listen and learn. The tender ages of 18 and 21 don’t mean jack when it comes to experience and maturity. You just old enough to get yourself from a to z…what to do when you get there ain’t present yet.

Adam Lambert

October 5th, 2011
11:00 am

Quite frankly, a lot of you women try to treat men like a child. You THINK YOU KNOW what’s best for him. You think YOU know everything. So you feel like you have to “raise” him. It’s YOU, woman. Not him.

Stop your fussing, all your whining, complaining, and always pulling that “victim” card.

Ladies, start making SMART, WISE decisions about any guy you might EVEN THINK about dating. It’s your own bad choices that put you in your messes.

Michelle Obama turned Barack down when he first asked her out. It was much later after she saw something in him that she respected that she agreed to go out with him.

WAIT until you can respect a man before dating him. All some of you see is the nice car, the clothes, the money, or the buffed up bod. Or the smooth talk. Fools. Yes. Don’t be fools.

And have some seff-respect. Your fine big a.z.z. or all those hair extenssions don’t make you a real woman.

Adam (ignore the name) Lambert

kimmie

October 5th, 2011
11:02 am

SCool – Youth and lack of experience/guidance will always be a reason for mistakes made. I think we are talking about stuff that is much deeper than that.

Exiled!

October 5th, 2011
11:02 am

Premature post bur u got the drift!

And then u have the single homes that breed some of these imbeciles and u expect them to grow up to be man.

Good luck!

As long as folks glorify the wrong things or look the other way yeah the men u raise(for lack of a better term) aren’t going to be men.

Punks,thugs and drug pushers!

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
11:05 am

Exiled – And then u have the single homes that breed some of these imbeciles and u expect them to grow up to be man.

And the breeding is done by who? The woman only? That’s what I’m saying. Dudes want to lay and leave sperm and THEN it’s a probably after the fact. Responsibility lays on both sides of the coin. Men always always always talking ass wanting ass breathing ass drinking ass. For all the ass getting, there’s going to be babies produced. That’s whay I said people are selfish. Gimme gimme gimme…all for what?

SexyCool

October 5th, 2011
11:06 am

I picked up on the word “maturity” from the Wise’s post. (shrugs)

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
11:06 am

Problem not probably.

Leggs

October 5th, 2011
11:07 am

“Ladies, start making SMART, WISE decisions about any guy you might EVEN THINK about dating. It’s your own bad choices that put you in your messes.”

Exactly. One is able to do this through maturity. Being true to yourself and throwing away all your color coated glasses will help you see the forest for the trees. Settling for less than what you desire should no longer be part of the equation. If you have to walk solo for a while, so be it. It will be worth it in the long run.

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
11:07 am

But you cannot negate factoring in youth. A lot of youngsters hit the door of adulthood with the wrong ideas and concepts….all because that’s just what they’ve been doing. Young fools grow to be older fools. Older fools become old fools. Ain’t no fool like an old fool.

TMarie

October 5th, 2011
11:08 am

Yes!!!! I think that men are BIG trouble… The age group that I think is in trouble is 19-25 age. I have a 20 yrs. old son, and he has a lack of maturity within him. Who do I fault…. Me or him or both… I fault some of it on me. Being a single parent and raising him on my own. I thought that I taught him all the things that he needed to know but, felled him in some areas. And now that he is 20 yrs. old you can’t tell him or any other the young adults anything they think that they know it all.
He does have the hard working part down because he works seven days a week, and he been taking care of his personal bills, car ins, cell phone, and etc. since he was 16. So with that I give him ONE POINT.
But where he got the lack of disrespect toward women blows my mind. I did teach him the yes/no ma’am thing the yes/no sir thing, the thank you and you’re welcome, please and thank you thing as well. But for some reasons he just does not treat women with enough respect. Sometimes he seems to flip back to adolescence and then flips back to being grown. He has insecurity within himself so we as the leader and parent need to step-up and teach all of our son’s right from wrong and to be an honest hard working, Loving, caring, respectful of women. If not then this method will only make the young men of today continue to have problems and may find themselves all alone.
So with all that being said the too your question is unfortunately YES…..

SexyCool

October 5th, 2011
11:08 am

There was a lot of ass in that post. (lmASSo)

Purple Reign

October 5th, 2011
11:09 am

More excuses, the only person you have to blame for not being a man or if you are treated like “boy” is yourself.

Once again I say men and women are not in trouble. Just make better decisions or hunt in different fields.

kimmie

October 5th, 2011
11:11 am

A lot of folks in here are saying a woman can’t tell a man how to be a man.

Who are a lot of these excuse-making, blaming whining men in here who think they can tell a woman how to be a woman(example – Adam)

Leggs – A lot of men’s bad choices put them in the messes they are in too.

Call me an equal-opportunity blamer.

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
11:11 am

Is it immature to take pictures of yourself nude and mail it to coworkers?

Purple Reign

October 5th, 2011
11:12 am

Who is at fault? Parents. Men should not be leaving sperm all over the place until they are ready to deal with the consequences and women should not be letting men leave sperm in them regularly without knowing what that man is made of. Put a condom on.

Exiled!

October 5th, 2011
11:13 am

Breeding is done by folks who breed,abandon and go to jail,come back and do more sh-it and society glorifies it.(look at TI’s recent come back)

Wrong priorities allround!

(my earlier post did not post) that’s why it’s disjointed!

The Blame is allround.

The black community(a lot of it) in America takes jail and single motherhood very lightly!

Result is boys not raised by men!

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
11:14 am

And really, it’s not exclusive to keeping the panties up and pants zipped. i talk to my kid about being lazy and to not think for one second that someone is going to carry her. I tell her, I’m not going carry her or take care of her or expect her to expect someone to take care of her. I tell her she’s setting the path now for how her life will unfold and if it’s all bad decisions then there be consequences. I tell her I’ll be there to lean on me but I will not carry her nor her consequences for things she willing walked into or took on being disobedient.

I truly truly love her and want her to “get it.”

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
11:14 am

I agree exiled…people should not be having kids as much. Especially if they cannot even pay their bills. If you cannot pay for rent, ins and utilities why are you having kids/?

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
11:16 am

Put a condom on.

No….keep it to yourself. If you don’t want it or the possibility of creating it, be a man or woman and abstain from it. Don’t lay with men or women because it’s available. THAT’S maturity.

Purple Reign

October 5th, 2011
11:17 am

I think this problem is in America in general and not towards a specific race.

Hazel

October 5th, 2011
11:17 am

Its a cycle. Where both men and women need to change. Women keeping on chasing the idiots who are horrible fathers. Men need to keep off the women and stop having kids, because they will not take care of them. If BOTH men and women will not stop, then this will never end.

I personally believe in gender roles because of my background. I do not want to control my man, nor do I want to challenge his manhood. But I do want him to take the responsibility then, that of a MAN.

There are too many people chasing too many superficial things, and we are lost as a society. We generate our thoughts depending on what the tv dictates and what the “cool” people r doing.

Celisea

October 5th, 2011
11:18 am

Let me just say this…there’s been times when I’ve wanted it. There’s been some that I could depend on for getting it. What I don’t want is the residual of it all so, I pass. Growing up and maturity exceeds “a good fix” on a good time. Maturity sometimes means if the “good times” going to create other scenes and scenarios, how about I avoid it altogether.

Ron Burgundy

October 5th, 2011
11:19 am

People should either abstain or be smart about where they make their deposits. You cannot impregnate a girls face. Jes’ sayin’!

Elton John

October 5th, 2011
11:19 am

ITS THE CIRCLE OF LIFEEEEE!!!!!!

Purple Reign

October 5th, 2011
11:20 am

Celisea, but that is not reality. You are not going to get the majority of people to stop having sex so trying to get them to have safer sex is a more viable option.

Hazel

October 5th, 2011
11:21 am

@ Purple – I agree
@ Celisea – your 11:16 is very true.

I saw a bunch of kids getting kicked out of a sports store. I don’t blame them for being rowdy. I blame the society and how they being raised. And they will too, grow up to be men who do not care and will have kids that they will not take care of. It has to stop somewhere. And it would take, men and women to do so.

Exiled!

October 5th, 2011
11:22 am

Celisea?

U grown! If u get ur fix at the holiday Inn and ur daughter foes not get a whiff of it,that’s good.

The problem with this society is tv throws puddy in our kids face and we key them watch it.

Look at BET,our so called,’our own’!

It’s debauchery,dumping down. Mine don’t watch it and they never grew on it.

Just saying.

If u want better,teach better!

Exiled!

October 5th, 2011
11:22 am

Exiled!

October 5th, 2011
11:23 am

We let them watch it
(typos)

Ron Mexico

October 5th, 2011
11:23 am

is it immature to give people herpes and check into a clinic as ROn Mexico?

Mike Vick

October 5th, 2011
11:24 am

is it immmature to electrocute dogs? How about drowning them?

Purple Reign

October 5th, 2011
11:25 am

Exiled but international tv markets are way more sexual than america’s tv market so “media” is not an excuse IMO

kimmie

October 5th, 2011
11:25 am

Cel/SCool – I’m not negating youth as a reason because youth will always be there as long as people have kids. That’s where parenting plays such an important role. You try to teach your kids to make the best decisions possible because a lot of people are paying today for poor decisions made in their youth.

But after awhile, youth cannot be used as an excuse. I hear of people talking about folks 30 & 35 years old, saying, “well he/she is young”! At a certain point, society expects you to be accountable, whether you are ready or not. You can’t pick & choose when you want to be a kid and when you want to be grown, when it’s convenient.

Exiled!

October 5th, 2011
11:29 am

By international u refer to which ones PR?

and do those kids watch international or local.

In any case,my post is referring to the influences kids get. Whether international or local or their parents.

If u want kids to have a certain mindset,influence them. Make a strong impression on them,U the parent!

If u don’t or u non existent ,then the streets,tv or thugs on the streets Will!