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Archive for October, 2011

Haunted by dating mistakes?

Since today is the day of scary things that are haunted, I thought about those dating mistakes we all make that come back and haunt us later. I hate living with regret, but it really is a part of life. We sometimes second guess the decisions we made or something we did, but have you ever actually been bothered by it later on?

I think it would be helpful to purge the past, open the door of skeletons, and release some of those bad feelings. Who wants to be haunted by their mistakes of their past? I had to look up an old boyfriend and apologize for what I did to him. I could have blamed my youth and stupidity but I owned up to my mistake. It didn’t even matter to him at that point but it did me a boatload of good.

When you look back at your track record, is there anything you wish you had handled differently? Have you thought of apologizing to the people you hurt, misled, or deceived? Do you think they would be open to hearing about your remorse?

What dating mistake are …

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First date mistake: Booze

If you plan on going out on a date this weekend or attending a party, perhaps you should consider having a “dry” weekend. Some people handle their alcohol with no problem. They know their limitations, they know what to steer clear of and what is safe. Unfortunately, some people are oblivious to their tolerance level and they pick the wrong time to get the hard lesson: on a first date.

I have been out with someone who got sloppy drunk and as fine as he was to look at, after the 4th drink he got really unattractive. He was the type to become obnoxious and loud when he had a couple of drinks in him. Although it was eye opening, I wonder if it was better to learn this sooner or later?

When you go out with friends, do you have a couple of drinks socially? Do you avoid drinking on dates?

Have you ever been on a date with someone who had too much to drink and their personality changed for the worse?

P.S. What are your plans for the weekend? Whatever you do, be safe!

Continue reading First date mistake: Booze »

Dating: Should the chase be easy?

I read somewhere that some men actually enjoy “the chase” part of dating. When they find someone that intrigues them, they have the stamina to go the distance and do a little work to make things happen. I don’t know if that is true of most men in Atlanta. A lot of single women here will tell you that the guys they meet want it to be easy. Should the chase be easy?

Perhaps all it takes is the right people, under the right circumstances to make the chase enjoyable for both. It seems as if there would have to be a good balance of showing enough interest and being available, as opposed to playing hard to get all the time.

The trick is figuring out if you are both on the same page. I have to be honest, here. I don’t think a lot women really know when they meet a guy if he is the type that likes to put in a little work.

What do you think? If men are into the chase, how far are they willing to go? What is a reasonable amount of work and what is not?

Do men really want women …

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How to make the date memorable?

We all can get stuck in the dinner and a movie rut. It’s just an easy go-to date plan that can quickly become boring. The great thing about dating is you get to explore new experiences while you are exploring a relationship!

So how do you make that journey a little more memorable? Dates can have their own unique style: daring, romantic, sexy…well, you get the idea. When you think back on your best dates, what makes them so memorable? Was it the things you did? Was it the way you felt?

How do you find a way the date stand out in someone’s memory? What style of dates do you like the most?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Can you date a friend’s ex?

There is an ongoing debate among friends about who is off limits to date and who isn’t. Can you date someone who was involved with your friend? Is it a bad idea or does it make sense?

I believe that it should depend on how comfortable everyone is with the idea. If there was a long relationship that ended badly, obviously there is potential for drama and awkwardness. If it was a casual dating situation, then maybe it won’t be an issue.

Do you think that once someone has dated a friend of yours, you should steer clear?

Have you ever dated a friend’s ex or have you dated a friend of your ex?
Did it become a problem?

Do you think it is good practice to get their permission/blessing?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Can you date a friend’s ex? »

New relationship? Avoid Facebook

So you are excited about your new guy/girl. Things are going so well, you just can’t believe it. You are both on the same page – Great! Just don’t get on the same Facebook page. No good can come from it.

Sometimes new relationships are fragile. The slightest bump can cause a crack and it all becomes a mess in a matter of hours. I just watched a new relationship plummet to the breakup abyss because a certain guy had not let it be known he was off the market.

What looked to be an innocent comment left on his Facebook wall by an ex-fling/girl of the week/booty call contact, became the source of a huge fight. Could this have happened if not for Facebook? It’s possible. I just believe that until you are in a solid, trusting relationship, Facebook contact with your new guy/girl should be avoided.

Do you think that social media is to blame for a lot of break ups and dating drama? So many things can be misconstrued and misinterpreted, but we insist on finding ways to put it all …

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Unhealthy relationships..literally

It’s so funny how you start dating someone and take on some of their habits, quirks, and lifestyle. You begin to share the same behaviors, some good, some not so good. Sometimes you even become influenced by them. It’s like sexy peer pressure.

What happens when you start dating someone and pick up their bad habits? For instance, my friend Brad hated cigarettes. He meets Gina and suddenly he is not only fine with cigarettes, she has him smoking cigars! The things we do when we are blinded by love, right?

Have you ever noticed a bad habit you picked up after dating someone? Why does it seem as if we become so impressionable when the person we are seeing starts to influence our lives?

How do you know if your relationship is unhealthy and how do you handle it if it is?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Dating the bad girls

Like a moth to a flame, some men are into women with a little edge. I am starting to wonder why I see so many men find themselves dealing with the fallout of the “bad girls” – the ladies that present a little danger.

I don’t think you have to have danger to make things interesting in dating, but I wonder if every woman should have a little bad in her? Does it really keep things interesting to be involved with someone that has a little edge to them?

I have one friend that is always attracted to the one woman that could turn his life upside down. The more unstable they appear, the more intrigued he seems to be.

When it comes to dating the bad girls/guys, what is your comfort level? How much “bad” are you intrigued by and how much is a turn off?

Have you ever dated that type? Did you discover something about yourself?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

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Sex: Does it mean anything?

A friend of mine is knee-deep in a relationship that she didn’t go looking for. Apparently, it was one of those booty call to boyfriend kind of transitions that isn’t necessarily premeditated.

One could argue that once sex is introduced in a dating relationship, it changes the dynamics. Does it have to mean the same thing to both of you? When do you know that it does or when it doesn’t?

Sex doesn’t always mean exclusivity, but do you think it should?

What impact, if any, do you think sex has on a new relationship?

Continue reading Sex: Does it mean anything? »

Do men like confidence?

While I was in DC this weekend, I hung out on U street a couple of nights. I noticed that a lot of women in DC seemed confident, chic, and polished. Not unlike the women I know and meet in Atlanta, but definitely confident. It is one of the things I think men are impressed by. Of course when the confidence crosses into arrogance, it could become a turn off.

My friend Brian once told me that when a woman tries to appear confident a lot of times, it comes across as bragging. When she starts talking about her degrees, wealth, or accomplishments, he starts to wonder who she is trying to convince.

I think that men do the same thing, but when a woman attempts to be overly confident, it is not received the same way. Most men don’t even care about the number of degrees or the number of zeros in her bank account.

Do you think that men like confident women? Isn’t it a good thing to be happy with who you are?

What do you think the difference is between confidence and arrogance? …

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