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Do you know who NOT to date?

When we reach that age/stage in life that we should stop dating wholly inappropriate people, we (thankfully!) begin to figure out who is not good for you. It would be amazing and utterly convenient to have a running list of the “types” that everyone should generally avoid, right?

A reader sent me an article by a guy who listed the “types of women to avoid” and I found it equally tragic and hilarious.

Just for fun, let’s say we compose a list. What types would you put on it and why?

I would start mine with don’t date a record producer, aspiring rapper, or bartender. I have been down that road, trust me!

Let’s see what you come up with. Who knows? Maybe we can figure out if we are the type that others avoid. The more you know, people. The more you know.

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

437 comments Add your comment

i'm swiss™

September 29th, 2011
11:26 am

“Marinade is what you do to tenderize and flavor meat, typically sitting in a covered dish in the refrigerator.”

Well, technically, ‘marinade’ is a noun. ‘Marinate’ is what you do with ‘marinade.’ Just sayin’. ;-)

i'm swiss™

September 29th, 2011
11:28 am

But hey, at least he didn’t say “conversate”. :lol:

Leggs

September 29th, 2011
11:31 am

I was talking with someone about pet peeves. I said “conversate” was my pet peeve.

Exiled!

September 29th, 2011
11:39 am

It’s just black english. I hear it all the time..

Like saying,’ I done did it!’ :lol:

Black lingo.

Leggs

September 29th, 2011
11:43 am

It’s more than black lingo, Ex. With Beyonce putting it in her song, that’s black lingo. Too many use the word bellieving it’s an actual word!

Black lingo is “I’m gonna go get my hair did!” Most (not all), say it for fun. You’ll be surprised how many do not know “conversate” is not a word.

SlimNu

September 29th, 2011
11:43 am

So let’s flip the script a little…let’s name some of the traits, habits, behaviors that we OURSELVES could see being an issue for a person that was dating us.

I’ll start…Hmmmmm????? thinking…………still thinking…..and thinking…..and….thinking

Leggs

September 29th, 2011
11:48 am

i'm swiss™

September 29th, 2011
11:50 am

SlimNu

September 29th, 2011
11:51 am

I can be sensitive at times…clingy….overly affectionate….can’t stand being upset with each other and rather talk it out then as opposed to letting it linger on. I can be silly when you want to be serious. I have to sleep with a pillow between my knees to support my back so u may get tired of rolling over with that barricade there lol

Exiled!

September 29th, 2011
11:54 am

@Swiss

20+% Unemployment in Detroit,a booty lounge is some piece of jib stimulus!

:lol:

Jobs Bill!

disco

September 29th, 2011
11:54 am

slim nu – a guy once told me I was high strung, temperamental and confrontational. I’m not sure what he meant by high strung but I own temperamental and confrontational. if my temperament is good I might let confrontation slide. generally though I’m all about confronting the confrontation. if there’s a problem, let’s handle it. I’ve never been the passive aggressive type. apparently this isn’t necessarily a good trait to have.

Exiled!

September 29th, 2011
11:57 am

@Slim?!

are u on do u feel insecure sometimes?

clingy part….

D Dub coming back to the ATL (formerly D Dub of the MSP)

September 29th, 2011
11:59 am

I can’t say never date… but don’t plan on a long term investment with any woman that…
- refers to her pet as her child
- can’t keep a pet because they are too “needy”
- can kill a cactus
- used to work as a financial planner but thinks an interest-only mortgage is a good idea
- says to you “I’m surprised you called me” after what should have been a one-night stand
- tells you how a recording artist is talking about her in the album liner notes, but everyone else’s name but hers is mentioned

I could go all day… and I might after I get some work done…

hazel

September 29th, 2011
12:01 pm

guy should not be too into him self,
should not be too much into fashion,
should not be mean/arrogant/full of himself
should be open to other cultures, cuisines etc
should be motivated/smart/nerdy etc
should have a great relationship with parents
should be good with kids
should not have bad habits ( that are consistent and too frequent)

i'm swiss™

September 29th, 2011
12:04 pm

Me.lo — Exactly. That’s the kind of stimulus I can get behind. And under. And on top of… :lol:

Matt

September 29th, 2011
12:05 pm

@Kimmie
It very well could be me, I am taking responsibility for that, I am newly single and newly dating, if I am not attracting the right type of girl I am only interested in what “my” problem would be. Problem-Resolution, mentality, not to dwell on anything.

abc

September 29th, 2011
12:13 pm

“I’m gonna go get my hair did!” well, I can somehow imagine hearing a big fat ol’ redneck woman saying that. Southern is Southern, after all.

My dogs ARE family members. They’re just dogs, is all. Smart, athletic, sweet and loving beautiful dogs. Yall should give retired racing greyhounds a try. In fact, there’s a flick coming out soon, if it’s not already out, in which a retired racer plays a fairly prominent part. Best dogs in the world!

Matt

September 29th, 2011
12:15 pm

@Kimmie
Does it confuse me that I see a ton of smart good looking girls going after drug dealers, when they themselves are drug free. Women that go after guys that are in and out of jail constantly, have multiple kids with multiple moms. With no job, and no prosepcts, living with their parents, and partying every night. And these guys somehow think of themselves good enough to be balancing 3 or 4 girls, please tell me why these smart motivated girls go affter these kinda guys over and over and over again, I want to know what they have that I need to have. I am truly confused.

Leggs

September 29th, 2011
12:19 pm

@abc ~ my first job here, I was talking with a secretary (a young black woman) and she told she was “gonna go get her hair did.” The surprise on my face stopped her in her tracks. I had to ask if she was serious (mind you, I had only been in GA about 6 months). She was dead serious and I told I had never heard that. She asked what was the right way to say it and I told her. Long story, short that same secretary from way back in the day married my ex’s brother who they met at our wedding. Whew! Now, they are going through a divorce! Another WHEW….

hazel

September 29th, 2011
12:22 pm

@ Matt – U r soo rite. Isn’t that crazy, how they r attracted to the “dealers”. My cousin is beautiful, smart and dumb at the same time. She got trapped by a young one who drove a Bentley. I told her that something was wrong, but turns out that she knew his lifestyle. She has a “record” with the gov now and her life is totally messed up.
Then we have a cousin who is a lawyer in the family, who only dates athletes!!

hazel

September 29th, 2011
12:24 pm

Its okay to have a certain list that makes sense. But to have a list that specifical says that ” I only date such and such types by their profession” is not good.

SlimNu

September 29th, 2011
12:28 pm

Exiled – Not clingy as in you can’t do anything with your friends, go out etc…but when i’m around you I like to be cuddled up in your embrace. Example…the beau will be in the kitchen making a plate. I’ll come in behind him, wrap my arms up under his around him and stay there lol He’ll go the the fridge and I’ll still be holding on tight. It’s really to be cute but he be like, “Mooooove!” :lol: As far as insecure, yup I have my moments but i’m like this. If i feel like i’m being loved by you, appreciated or whatever then all is well in my world.

i'm swiss™

September 29th, 2011
12:33 pm

I can’t fault anyone for being too attached to their dog(s). Those little suckers can really grow on you. Absolute worst day of my life was the day I had to take my dog to be put down after her 3rd bout with cancer. I cried like a little b!tch.

hazel

September 29th, 2011
12:33 pm

@ SlimNu – thats cute
I am like that too. Too clingy sometimes, but I think its ok. I don’t over do it. Its a great feeling to know that you are needed. I know when to stop. And we all have our own insecurities as well. In a relationship, a partner should know them and respect them and maybe even help getting rid of them.

Matt

September 29th, 2011
12:34 pm

I have my faults and I am learning this whole thing all over again, I have lots of girls that happen to be women, however I don’t date some of them for my own reasons, I could but won’t due to some of the reasons that we have talked about on these lists. Others I would like to date, but I see them go after the same guys that cheated on them, so they give them a second chance, girls that those same guys lied to them, they give them a third chance, over and over and over again, at what point do women draw the line. the bitch and moan about the guys they pick up and how they lie and cheat and etc. etc. etc. What do they have that makes them so desirable, I truly am confused, please someone explain to me at what point does a woman drop a guy that is obviously not going change, and won’t act the way they want, what is the breaking point where she says, enough is enough. You say something is wrong with me, tell me what is right with them, after the 4th breakup and get back together.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 29th, 2011
12:37 pm

just checking in but if someone follows all of the lists, is anything left? ;-)

Matt

September 29th, 2011
12:37 pm

Sorry, little rant there, I am the shoulder to cry on for a lot of these girls. I wish more girls would learn “one and done” that is a rule I have had since I was a teenager.

i'm swiss™

September 29th, 2011
12:39 pm

Aw, snap, Randy! You were so close, but you just violated item 274.2e of the “don’t date ‘em” code: Fails to begin a sentence with a capital letter. You are disqualified. :lol:

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 29th, 2011
12:39 pm

Two red flags for me are this:

1) if she doesn’t want to see me again
2) if she does want to see me again

Those are my two biggest red flags.

SlimNu

September 29th, 2011
12:40 pm

hazel – Yeah, the beau gets in his ice cold moods where he barely says a word and isn’t feeling like affection. It takes some getting used to but I know it’s just the way it is sometimes and nothing to do with me. I get like that too. I’ll go upstairs early and read a book…he’ll stay his azz on the couch and sleep lol

SlimNu

September 29th, 2011
12:42 pm

swiss – Daaaang, you cut Randy off before he even got out of the gate :lol:

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 29th, 2011
12:43 pm

Hey i’m swiss…just being lazy. Transitioning out of here today. Hey wait a minute, you don’t even capitalize your screen name ;-)

i'm swiss™

September 29th, 2011
12:44 pm

“Daaaang, you cut Randy off before he even got out of the gate”

Not me, Slim. I didn’t write the code, I’m just paid (nothing) by the blogernment to enforce it. :lol:

i'm swiss™

September 29th, 2011
12:46 pm

Randy — What I do with my screen name irrelevant. We’re talking about what’s wrong with you. :lol:

i'm swiss™

September 29th, 2011
12:48 pm

*is irrelevant

SlimNu

September 29th, 2011
12:48 pm

“Hey wait a minute, you don’t even capitalize your screen name”

Randy – Great comeback lol

Purp

September 29th, 2011
12:53 pm

I had something to add I just can’t remember what.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 29th, 2011
1:01 pm

I don’t have a list, I let women weed me out or I rule them out. If I had one I would forget what the hell I put on it. I’m sure there would be some mind tingling and red flags on it if it was me specific. Nothing heart wrenching I’m good. I wont judge you I hope you not me, I know it’s a lot to ask.
Good Afternoon:

SlimNu

September 29th, 2011
1:03 pm

Purp – Well, when in doubt just bless us with a random Purpinism

hazel

September 29th, 2011
1:04 pm

@ Matt – Because they are jerks. I am a woman and I know. Women for some reason like Jerks. Not all women, but the ones who do not think logically. We think with our heart.
So it doesn’t matter if the guy is nice or not. Most likely he is not, and that is why she is with him. Go figure!! My friend is always attracted to guys to are taken. I couldnt figure out why, because she has both parents, and great upbringing. I slowly began to get away from her as I wasn’t ok with her decisions.

hazel

September 29th, 2011
1:07 pm

@slimnu – I know rite. I do that, but then he bugs out..
Guys r weird too.

Purp

September 29th, 2011
1:07 pm

Life is my filter if she can’t make it through the filter well, she just get dumped or recycled by someone else.

Purp

September 29th, 2011
1:10 pm

For Slim:

“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.” – Douglas Adams

Leggs

September 29th, 2011
1:13 pm

“or recycled by someone else” Then its not being recycled if its someone else.. It’s downright being dumped.

Exiled!

September 29th, 2011
1:15 pm

@Matt, I wld luv to answer ur 12:34 but only after u get ur own girl! 4get about those girls,think about u,be selfish and go out and look after ur damn self!

What is wrong that u can’t find ur own girl and u have to moan and biiitch about them?

Why are the drug dealers and hustlers out competing u?

If u str8 and it shows in ur demeanor then it maybe,just maybe ur lack of swag. Girls like guys with some confidence snout them.

U need to cultivate some confidence. That wld be the only thing about u that’s missing,assuming u don’t live with ur mama and got ur own car and crib.

kimmie

September 29th, 2011
1:16 pm

Back from lunch

Matt – I hear your rant all the time. Do you REALLY know these dudes these women are going for are actual drug dealers? Be serious. I know of much younger women that have let some no-good guys sweet talk them, and yeah, once they’ve had a baby with them they think they need to stay. There are even a few older women that have not learned their lesson. But, really, where are you hanging out that you run across all that mess? Looks like again, you need to look at yourself. Why are you worried about what those loser men and women are doing? People like that will drag you down and have you thinking most are living foul like that. Guess what? There are a whole lot of regular, hardworking men & women, leading decent lives and not dealing with druggies and such every day. Looks like you need to upgrade your surroundings. And man up and quit the pity party. I can’t stand folks that whine and moan. Get around some positive people that are out here making a difference. Get some motivated guy friends that are in good relationships and not badmouthing all women. Quit letting those silly women cry on your shoulders and tell them they must like it if they keep going back!

Purp

September 29th, 2011
1:18 pm

How is it not being recycled. If I use it then throw it away and some else uses it, then it’s being recycled.

In today’s episode of Fat People Wear the Darndest Things:

Big momma about 5′3 315lbs (Disclaimer: 40 pounds is weave) In heals and a Leopard tight fitting blouse and leopard tight fitting spandex like pants. Now maybe it’s me but most leopards are in shape and do not have the form of an elephant.

i'm swiss™

September 29th, 2011
1:19 pm

“Bullseye!” — The Ground (to Douglas Adams after he jumped off the roof)

Camille

September 29th, 2011
1:19 pm

Great list and pointers. I am new to this blog and recently separated after 16 years of marriage. As I heal from this relationship and get rid of the baggage that I am carrying, I will continue to visit and I know that soon enough when I start dating again, I will have my own list.

Leggs

September 29th, 2011
1:20 pm

Sorry, Purp, your post read like your dump her or recycle her. A new person is not recycling HER. That’s how I read it. Nevamind….