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Dating: What’s your story?

Do you ever get tired of mixing and mingling? You still want to be someone really great but the thought of answering the same questions over and over again makes you twitchy. I just want to walk up to Mr. Wonderful and hand him my “book” so he can get a condensed version of who I am, what my flaws are, and what I bring to the table.

I know, this is the ultra lazy approach to dating. It’s supposed to be fun and exciting. You are supposed to be filled with anticipation and blah blah blah. Some days you just don’t feel it. That is a classic sign that you are stuck in a dating rut!

If you feel bored with dating, chances are you are boring your dates to tears too. It’s not always their issue, though. Sometimes, it’s you. If you don’t consider yourself a fun and interesting person to get to know, your date will agree wholeheartedly.

If you feel yourself slipping into the Most Uninteresting Man/Woman in the World, take a break from dating and focus on other things. Trust me, it’s good to get a refresher course on how awesome you are. Then you can attract people who find you and your story interesting.

Have you ever been with someone who had a fascinating story? Did they intrigue you with their life adventures or fascinating personality? Has anyone ever told you that you had a really interesting life?

When you meet someone you click with, what do you usually tell them about who you are?

P.S. Any tips on how to get out of a dating rut?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

200 comments Add your comment

kimmie

September 27th, 2011
11:26 am

Robert – Women have always had the power to control who they want for a relationship. They have always had a choice. Just because a man might make the first move, she is not obligated to chose him. And the internet has nothing to do with a woman making the first move if she wants.

Leggs

September 27th, 2011
11:28 am

oops, see the question was already answered. I haven’t seen the video, but I love the song!

I’ve been building my ship (polishing up self), so my beacon of light can be seen by that ship meant to set it’s anchor for me to hop on deck.

Leggs

September 27th, 2011
11:32 am

Ummmm, reading back that doesn’t necessarily read write. I see the subliminal so hopefully certain fellas will give me a break.

Robert

September 27th, 2011
11:37 am

Kimmie – You are right, women always had the power of choice. While writing my book I found out that women can choose to date worldwide via the internet which increases the possibilities for success or failure. Whether you choose to meet men at work, church, bars, internet, etc., the choice is yours if you have what it takes to compete on a level playing field. Are you a winner or loser? The competition is fierce.

Leggs

September 27th, 2011
11:44 am

didn’t read RIGHT….ahh forge about it.

Leggs

September 27th, 2011
11:50 am

@Button ~ I’ve deleted the job posting, but did call HR for a copy. They have closed the interviewing process. So sorry….

Leggs

September 27th, 2011
11:51 am

What is up with my typing….meant to say “ahh FORGET about it. I’m really going to go sit down and have a talk with my fingers!

dyslexicbunny

September 27th, 2011
11:55 am

@Leggs @1055 – Exactly. Be yourself. Someone out there somewhere has to like that. If not, I’ll die a bachelor. It is what it is.

Leggs

September 27th, 2011
12:08 pm

Sheesh, we were flowing yesterday, now we’re still on page 2.

Celisea

September 27th, 2011
12:21 pm

Call it an attitude but not a whole lot for me in this day and at my age is that deep. God first family next. Not compromising, downgrading…none of that. Any interuptions badly intent will have to go.

Not sure how that fits in today but I’m just popping and after skimming, felt like saying that.

Tee hee hee, never had much tolerance for too much of anything anyway :)

Celisea

September 27th, 2011
12:21 pm

Any interruptions badly intended…is what I was going for :)

Sassy Me...PYT ;-)

September 27th, 2011
12:34 pm

God first family next. Not compromising, downgrading…none of that.

I feel that statement and agree but I will add that depending on what it is I’m willing to compromise…depending on what it is..

SexyCool

September 27th, 2011
12:35 pm

“Then you can attract people who find you and your story interesting.”

I think everyone has interesting stories and/or something interesting or unique about their lives. Just everyone is not gifted with the ability to tell it in an interesting way.

SexyCool

September 27th, 2011
12:36 pm

If you feel bored with dating, chances are you are picking the wrong people to date. As Patty Stanger would say, “Your picker is broken.”

SexyCool

September 27th, 2011
12:37 pm

Do you ever get tired of mixing and mingling?

I never get tired of meeting new and interesting people. However, if I were dating, I’m sure I would get tired of feeling like I was constantly on the hunt.

abc

September 27th, 2011
12:47 pm

Celisea

September 27th, 2011
1:01 pm

Absolutely Sassy, there are always qualified exceptions :)

abc – You are one funny man :)

kimmie

September 27th, 2011
1:06 pm

Robert – I’m definitely a winner, because I found a great husband. But you are right, the competition is fierce. Always has been, I think. For that reason, I chose to take myself out of the “competition” many years ago, well before I met my husband. I always say there are about 5 men in ATL that everyone is fighting for. There were 7, but one finally got married and the other came on out of the closet!LOL!! I got tired of trying to get with those 5 guys. I just decided to be myself and concentrate on enjoying my life and my hobbies and family and friends. If I didn’t meet anyone I wanted to share my life with in the course of living, so be it. I just got tired of hanging around thristy folks in clubs. I’ve been blessed in so many ways and I appreciate those blessing. I try to take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way so I have no regrets.

SlimNu

September 27th, 2011
1:10 pm

PSA: Please, please, please stop heating up seafood, especially fish, in the work breakroom. Save that stuff for when you get home because that ish STANK!!!

Now back to your regularly scheduled program

SexyCool

September 27th, 2011
1:22 pm

I don’t understand people who don’t know that relationships require work. After you have finally made a good match, it still requires effort everyday. Why don’t people get that?

Exiled!

September 27th, 2011
1:26 pm

Tips on getting outta a dating rut?

Try same sex dating!

No body is born gay. They all become gay coz of ‘issues’

Admit it and try same sex dating.
U may be pleasantly surprised.

For starters u are going to find the body parts of ur partner so so familiar! :lol:

No rut here. Getting along just fine.

Willie Dynamite

September 27th, 2011
1:29 pm

Afternoon All,

Time tested conundrum. Dating IS a process. Sure it gets old and you definitely can get in a rut or two/three. The thing is I always said to myself is when I’m ready i’ll be ready. What i see is most people don’t work on themselves. You may have a jaded idea of how you are portraying yourself. You may even fall into the category of its everyone else even though you are the one constant. I am sure that most folks in a happy relationship will tell you the person they are with now is/was not their ideal choice. Sure some folks struck gold and found the proverbial happily ever after. Most folks would look back in hindsight and say they found someone that made them happy but didn’t think they would be at first. I don’t condone settling but i do condone being happy and allowing someone the opportunity to enhance your happiness. Stop pressing and live your life. Happiness begets happiness.

kimmie

September 27th, 2011
1:31 pm

SCool – I don’t understand it either. But it’s another example of the world we live in now. Some people want all the perks and benefits, without putting in the work.

Celisea

September 27th, 2011
1:31 pm

MMEELLOO – Admit it and try same sex dating. U may be pleasantly surprised.

Why MMEELLOO? Because you are?

Willie Dynamite

September 27th, 2011
1:39 pm

SC/Kimmie – I agree totally. Most folks don’t look at the WORK involved in maintaining the relationship. Some folks shoot all their bullets at getting into the relationship. Heyal to me thats the easy part.

Leggs

September 27th, 2011
1:39 pm

” I just decided to be myself and concentrate on enjoying my life and my hobbies and family and friends. If I didn’t meet anyone I wanted to share my life with in the course of living, so be it.”

That’s my take as well. However, I am finding that the “traditional” ways of meeting people and dating aren’t working for me. In my everyday walk through life I am meeting a lot of knuckleheads, toothless men at the liquor store who wants to compliment a lady, a wink at the grocery store, flirty mailmen at Q-Trip, etc. Truckers on 285 honking for your attention. Even had one hold up cardboard with his number on it in bold numbers. Yeah, my pickings were all a girl hoped for (lol)….

Leggs

September 27th, 2011
1:42 pm

@WillieD ~ it’s like buying a house. A house is easy to get, but maintaining/keeping one is a lot of work.

Button

September 27th, 2011
1:42 pm

Thanks Leggs

@Exiled, no matter how much a rut I’m in, I will neva eva eva try same schex anything!

You sound very familiar with it too

SexyCool

September 27th, 2011
1:44 pm

Happily ever doesn’t just happen and it’s not always that damn happy.

Disclaimer – this is not in any way a reflection of anything that is going on with me and TheDude. Just expressing some insights I’m learning about relationship and life in general. Mostly from watching some other folks go through some things.

SexyCool

September 27th, 2011
1:45 pm

“Even had one hold up cardboard with his number on it in bold numbers.”

_____flatlined_____

Exiled!

September 27th, 2011
1:45 pm

No,never been.

Just a suggestion guys

Anne Hersche(sp) went in and out. So have others

Just a kind thought ;-)

kimmie

September 27th, 2011
1:46 pm

Leggs – The traditional ways were not working for me either. But I have noticed since I started traveling in different circles, I am seeing different types of men out there. Men that, if I were still on the market, I would go for. Mainly single dads – at school functions and coaching soccer. I have met some great guys doing my martial arts and seen some good-looking guys at HD and Lowes. In fact, I said to myself “so here are where all the nice men are”.

Sometimes it’s a matter of changing up your surroundings.

Leggs

September 27th, 2011
1:46 pm

@SexyC ~ and knowing that makes getting to “happily ever after” easier….

kimmie

September 27th, 2011
1:49 pm

Leggs – About the cardboard sign – saw a lot of that when we were in Vegas! One guy in a car next to us had a sign that asked “Is she your sister?” Then he held up another with lewd drawings on it. We were cracking up!

hazel

September 27th, 2011
1:50 pm

Kimmie – your 11:26 am comment is on point! We have the power to choose for sure. My fiancee always says that. And I met him online. I knew what I wanted and looked for those qualities.
But dating is such a task and even though I enjoyed getting ready and going out, I look back and find it to be so crazy.
Especially in Atlanta, there is so much competition and like you said, everyone going after the same thing. So I changed the races I was looking into. Which I often see that people do not do. We are all humans and with same issues regardless of race. So why not look outside of the box?

cba

September 27th, 2011
1:51 pm

Leggs, I wonder how many hits the trucker have gotten? You’ll probably be surprised. I guess you do what you have to do.

hazel

September 27th, 2011
1:53 pm

@ Robert – I am a winner for sure, i found a diamond that other didn’t see the value of.

cba

September 27th, 2011
2:25 pm

Just heard on the radio that Deion Sanders is divorcing his wife because she is involved in too many activities. C’omon Man

Leggs

September 27th, 2011
2:27 pm

@cba ~ yep. And what I have to do is smile at the trucker and keep on trucking…

You are right, kimmie. I too have changed up some things. Things are looking promising.

Jake: Sweet Peeda Jeeda, TWB

September 27th, 2011
2:28 pm

cba…listening to the Stews huh…I believe Prime got caught up a couple weeks back, they had him plastered on Mediatakout on some sidechick ish,

Leggs

September 27th, 2011
2:29 pm

Damn, we were telling Christopher that his reason doesn’t justify divorce.

Now, being involved in too many activites is high on the list for reasons to divorced…..This is a crock, laughable and sad at the same time.

cba

September 27th, 2011
2:33 pm

Yeah Jake, during his years in Dallas, Deion said he didn’t drink or smoke but he was addicted to women.

i'm swiss™

September 27th, 2011
2:34 pm

Well, if those “activities” involve some other dude’s w@ng, then he’s got a point…

cba

September 27th, 2011
2:36 pm

Both of Deion’s wives have been beautiful but I guess if you have Tiger disease it doesn’t matter ;-)

Leggs

September 27th, 2011
2:37 pm

I thought that too, swiss. Activities is code word to get out of the house and into the arms of anoher….

kimmie

September 27th, 2011
2:38 pm

cba – Where did you here that, because I read on essence.com that Deion said that was not true.

cba

September 27th, 2011
2:41 pm

Kimmie, I just heard it on the Stews show.

Celisea

September 27th, 2011
2:46 pm

The more things change the more they remain the same.

kimmie

September 27th, 2011
2:46 pm

UPDATE: Though multiple sources were reporting that Deion Sanders had filed divorce papers with his wife of 11 years, Sanders has taken to Twitter to deny those claims.

Ladies and gentlemen I never address IGNORANCE but I must at this point. I’ve never filed 4 divorce and hadn’t made a statement to ANY media

Celisea

September 27th, 2011
2:48 pm