Dating: Longer the wait, sweeter the reward
Have you ever delayed gratification for something and discovered how amazing it was to finally receive the reward for being so patient? The anticipation has intensified the desire so much, you are basically guaranteed to enjoy it.
I know this concept is not a popular one in today’s “microwave society” where it’s all about the instant…instant gratification, instant reward, instant disappointment? It’s not easy putting things on a slow track to build intensity and connection, but it can be worthwhile.
Sometimes when you are dating someone you really like, the thought of slowing things down and pacing the relationship is challenging. You want to spend all your free time with them. You want to know everything there is to know about them and what they are about right away.
I think we forget how fun it is to let things progress without a master plan of how it will all unfold. How do you pace your dating relationships so they won’t burn out too fast?
In your experience, does the longer you wait and the more time you spend getting to know someone give the relationship a better shot at lasting?
Do you have a bad habit of rushing things in order to find out all that you can about someone instantly? What is the rush and why do we have a hard time waiting?
Why do we go for the instant relationships and then have a hard time with “foreplay” and relationship building?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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154 comments Add your comment
abc
September 19th, 2011
12:05 pm
Shoot, get the meat guys at Kroger to cut you filets, specify 10 oz from the small tapered side so they wind up being 3-4 inches thick. It won’t be tough. You can’t get a better steak in town then that — well, at least it’s like that at the Kroger in our hood.
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
12:12 pm
nappy dugout…I’ve heard it all.
Button
September 19th, 2011
12:22 pm
Leggs I LOVE me some ELR, they are all a bunch of hoots!
Button
September 19th, 2011
12:23 pm
And YES I do feel better @ Leggs, thanks!
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
12:36 pm
ARED says to tell all HELLO. The blog is too distracting and she’s concentrating on her work.
SlimUno
September 19th, 2011
12:49 pm
well, at least it’s like that at the Kroger in our hood.
abc – For whatever reason, maybe your personality, but that just sounded so wrong coming from you…sort of how it sounds when a person tries to curse for the first time lol
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
1:09 pm
abc
September 19th, 2011
1:12 pm
I suppose… it’s a beautiful golf/swim/tennis next to the lake, but — it’s the hood! Nice hood.,
SlimUno
September 19th, 2011
1:20 pm
There’s nothing wrong with that
I can’t wait until Street of Dreams opens up for this fall. I try to go to it every time it’s here in the Atlanta area.
Purp
September 19th, 2011
1:35 pm
“Fools Rush In”
Off topic: What do you all think of the Fight, also good game Falcons except for Sam Baker!
SlimUno
September 19th, 2011
1:40 pm
Purp – I heard about the fight but didn’t see it. From what I hear, many folks have lost respect for Mayweather. The antics described reminds me of when Tyson would start to feel he was losing and start some low blow or trifling moves. At this point, it’s really hard for me to watch boxing since I get more action with the mixed martial arts bouts UFC
Purp
September 19th, 2011
1:41 pm
Slim, at the end of the day I guess it was a legal move but I am no longer a fan of Mayweather because it was a punk move. I enjoyed the Falcons game much more!
SlimUno
September 19th, 2011
1:46 pm
I caught most of the Falcons game but towards the end it was watching me. That’s what I get for sipping on Green Sleepy Time tea. Either way, I’m glad we got a win.
SlimUno
September 19th, 2011
1:49 pm
…but I did have about 3 Heinekens before the tea…so you know that first morning drain was a doozy!
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
2:00 pm
@PR ~ I saw the fight and here’s my take:
Merriweather had a small window of opportunity and he ceased it. Why Ortiz thought it prudent to apologize for the head butt with a small hug in the middle of the ring is beyond my comprehension. The fight was still in progress. Before he knew it he was smelling the canvas. Although the head butt was definitely uncalled for, Merriweather took advantage and knocked his block off. Should he have, ummmm, a fight was going on. The bell handn’t rung and so he sucker punched him. No matter how you slice it, both put their character on the line. Not only that, everyone knows Merriweather can be a grimy fighter. But man, he has some power in those punches. I was jumping up and down screaming because I couldn’t believe my eyes. As the commentators stated, he was legally in the right to do what he did. Should he have been a gentlemen and waited? All I can say is there aren’t any gentlemen in the ring….
SlimUno
September 19th, 2011
2:06 pm
Leggs – I like the way you described it…you have a point
I need a nap
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
2:20 pm
Although this is a far stretch, it’s what first popped in my head watching Mayweather. Words from Enimen “Lose Yourself”
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
******
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
LOL…that’s how I looked at Mayweather….
SlimUno
September 19th, 2011
2:23 pm
LOL
Friend or Foe
September 19th, 2011
2:26 pm
What’s happened to the action here? This was my distraction from a crazy work day.
Purp
September 19th, 2011
2:31 pm
Leggs, did the ref even call time was back in after they touched gloves? And Ortiz got points deducted for his head butt…rightfully so. I think he snuck him because Ortiz was giving him nmore of a fight than he bargined for.
Slim, LOL
SexyCool
September 19th, 2011
2:32 pm
Protect yourself at all times.
Great write-up, Leggs!
SlimUno
September 19th, 2011
2:35 pm
For Real – I feel the same way you do and i’m damn near about to doze off at my desk. I need a pick-me-up
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
2:36 pm
I definitely agree that Ortiz got the better of him in Round 3. He nearly pummeled him the entire 3 mins. But, I don’t think he was giving him more than he bargained for. If the fight continued, I believe Mayweather would have knocked him down again. Remember, he was down Round 1 (but may have been more a slip than a punch). I think the head butt ignited pure disgust and he wanted a chance to knock him down. Like cards, you have to count the cards that have already fallen and stay on our toes. Mayweather remembered, Ortiz didn’t…
Ok, not a good comparison to cards, but hopefully you got my drift…
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
2:41 pm
Thanks SlimNu/SexyC.
Purp
September 19th, 2011
2:41 pm
Leggs, Mayweather won the fight. But I bet you he will not get that rematch. If the fight would have went the distance Oritiz would have won it. But hey he won’t fight Pacman, but he will get in larry Merchants face, his girlfriends, face his baby momma’s face and parking attendants face’s. But he won’t get in anyone’s face or in Ortiz’s because he knows he might get beat.
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
2:42 pm
@PR ~ to answer your question, so much was going on and so much noise where I was, I don’t know if he called time back in. But, since the fight was still in progress I could only surmise that he did.
SexyCool
September 19th, 2011
2:46 pm
Is Beyonce a role model?
http://yeahshesaidit.com/2011/08/30/why-beyonce-is-a-role-model-in-my-eyes/
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
2:47 pm
@PR ~ I agree, he keeps running from Pacman. He needs to step up and make that fight happen. And, I agree again that a rematch will not be in the pipeline. And, when Mayweather said he could have a “rematch,” he looked straight at his manager (or whoever it was) like, “yeah right, this ain’t gonna happen again.”
…”he knows he might get beat.” This applies to everyone except for two boxers I know who always KNEW they would always win….Muhammed Ali and Laila Ali. All others, always a chance you might get beat.
Purp
September 19th, 2011
2:50 pm
Leggs, you should check out the boxing forums. Interesting reading.
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
2:53 pm
I meant to look for one this morning, but got a little busy.
Purp
September 19th, 2011
2:55 pm
The boxing community including “major” boxers have lost a bunch of respect for Mayweather
SlimUno
September 19th, 2011
2:57 pm
I’ve been blessed with seeing Laila fight when she came to ATL…that woman know she has some skillz. I also like the fact that she still seems feminine aside from such a male-dominated hard core sport.
Exiled!
September 19th, 2011
3:05 pm
Sexxycool?
I don’t think the sisters feel that blog post on Beyonce.
They like it raw,too too much and not having babies before marriage would not be possible.
Raw is the Devil!
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
3:05 pm
@SlimUno ~ that woman can BOX! No doubt. She’s a thinker, strategic, plannner, confident, and doesn’t get riled by the opponent. She’s a smart boxer!
SexyCool
September 19th, 2011
3:10 pm
I think you sit around just thinking up ways that you can be as crass and as offensive to women as possible. I would almost think that you don’t like women in general.
SlimUno
September 19th, 2011
3:11 pm
Leggs – I felt bad for the chick she fought that was from somewhere in Africa. That chick was talking mad trash and left looking like she got stung by 50 bees. Girl looked BAD lol I was just waiting for Chris Tucker to jump in the ring and tell her she got knocked the eff out! lol
SC – In regards to Beyonce, um, she can be a role model to whomever if they so chose. But we have no idea what has gone on behind the scenes of her life, only what is visible to the public. I would say that she is a good match since you don’t hear too much negative things about her or see her acting like an ass. Even with her being married and then pregnant, doesn’t mean a little girl who looks up to her will not want to go out and get preggo too.
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
3:15 pm
@SlimUno ~ are you talking about the light-skinned mannish chick with the braids who didn’t speak much English and her husband spoke for her? If so, Ali tore her apart. She was doomed as soon as she stepped into the ring.
Exiled!
September 19th, 2011
3:16 pm
u can think whatever u like
just my opinion on ur post
SlimUno
September 19th, 2011
3:16 pm
SC – Don’t pay him no mind…He hasn’t been up in here all day but as soon as he finds some way to twist a comment into something sexually related, then he pops up…(no pun intended) He was all the way to the left on that. They put those signs up in pet shops & zoo’s for a reason…DON’T FEED THE BEARS lol
SlimUno
September 19th, 2011
3:18 pm
Leggs – She was a little on the dark side…she didn’t speak very great English but she definitely looked mannish lol
TenderRoni
September 19th, 2011
3:19 pm
Afternoon All,
When I read the topic, the first thing that came to mind was: The Tortisie and the Hare. Slow and steady wins the race.
I don’t particularly like Mayweather, but I think he got even in this situation. I mean how you gonna head-butt someone in a fight. Not only once but a couple of times. I think the ref did put the fight back into play, but turned his head to get the time clock straight, but as soon as he called the fight back in Mayweather made his move. He was caculating I tell you that.
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
3:20 pm
Ok, we must be talking about 2 different she.man’s. I can see her clearly. She.man all the way (but she was married).
SexyCool
September 19th, 2011
3:21 pm
Happy Gilmore’s momma died.
SexyCool
September 19th, 2011
3:21 pm
Correction – GRANDmother…
SlimUno
September 19th, 2011
3:22 pm
Holyfield had an issue with head butting…I’m not sure if it was due to his height and trying to duck low but that head has a lot of hits on it.
I am looking forward to some trash tv tonight…anyone else going to pop in for the Charlie Sheen Roast tonight?
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
3:24 pm
“He was caculating I tell you that.” – Exactly TenderRoni. Anybody should have seen he was up to something. Did you notice him walking back to Ortiz with his forehead all wrinkled up. Sure sign he was gonna get even and not come in for a freaking hug. I saw it and said something. Next thing I know, KA POW! Pay attention and you might stay on your feet! Ortiz dropped his guard at a crucial moment in the fight.
Exiled!
September 19th, 2011
3:25 pm
Slim?
so somebody really needs a WHOLE day Pass to make a comment in blogsville?
and ur comment on Beyonce is very negative..’.doesn’t mean a little girl who looks up ….go out and get preggo too’ what hogwash is that to say on a lady is who has been nothing but classy get whole life?
Some black people????? Smdh
Looks like being an unmarried black woman with 4 babies from 4 different dads is in vogue for some!!
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
3:25 pm
I could go for that kind of laughing, Slim. What time and channel?
Exiled!
September 19th, 2011
3:26 pm
Nothing but classy Her whole life
Leggs
September 19th, 2011
3:26 pm
@Ex ~ SC didn’t say anything along those lines. And, how do you know Beyonce has been classy her whole life?