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Let’s be clear: We are dating!

As tricky as dating can be, you would think the easy part would be knowing whether or not you are in fact..dating. This is actually not always easy to figure out!

While some people devote significant time and effort to seeing one person, if that person doesn’t consider that dating, problems could arise. This can become especially frustration if you are seeing a person a couple of nights a week or talking to them all the time, and they think you are just “hanging out” or my personal favorite “kicking it”.

So here’s the thing, being friends is great and all but if we are spending time with one another with intentions of exploring a relationship, we are dating.

If you aren’t really interested or are not sure if you’re interested, it’s good to let the person know that. Especially during that period of time before things are serious. There is nothing more frustrating then devoting time to someone, only to find out you two are just hanging out.

What do you when you aren’t clear about whether you are dating someone or not?

What is the difference between dating and hanging out?

This may sound like a silly question but how do you know when you are actually on a date?

Happy Friday!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

183 comments Add your comment

Rachel's Mom

September 16th, 2011
8:20 am

Someone told me back in college that you were on a date if there were footprints on the ceiling of your car.

Ajax

September 16th, 2011
8:38 am

Dating is so simple yet “we the people” make it complex.I agree you should know the terms you and your “date” are on especially moving forward.Is this a first date conovo?umm..I’ll go with Absolutely NOT for two.”Just kicking it” is symbolism for….I’m just passing the time.Dating is not for mating.It’s collecting info and discovering more perspective about an individual as well as yourself.PROCEED..So…If Mating comes before the actual Dating…You can forget about it.Let’s just say you’ve been milked or youv’e been had..side bar-scooby doo.Quite honestly I think human instict will show forth and you will know whether your on a date or a waste.Its imperative to pay attention to ALL of the warning signs you get before discovering..”were just kickin it”

Mike P

September 16th, 2011
8:38 am

Good morning

WD – “What is the difference between dating and hanging out?”
If you are stringing someone along, its just hanging out. If you are being strung, its a date.

WD – “This may sound like a silly question but how do you know when you are actually on a date?”
When the man asks you out, on a date, and he says its a date. If you ask him what he’s doing later or where’s he’s going and he honestly answers your question, and then you took it upon yourself to ask him if you join him or worse, you invited yourself, then that’s not a date. Speaking from my own experiences but it this goes both ways, for men and women.

GoldPig

September 16th, 2011
8:42 am

Women always call it a date so they can get free meals.

Ajax

September 16th, 2011
8:46 am

Lol @ GoldPig.SOME… NOT ALL..

Leggs

September 16th, 2011
8:48 am

Good morning.

Going to be interesting to hear the comments. If the two haven’t discussed exclusivity, you’re still hanging out with one another. Have to agree with Ajax, dating is a process of gathering information about each other, assessing how they see life, themselves, their future and seeing if you want to take the time and be a part of one another lives.

thewindwhistler

September 16th, 2011
8:49 am

That is a great question. I really like it. Hanging outi s letting someone know that you will be at the mall for a few hours and to meet you and they meet you and you “hang out”. A date is when you say, “I will pick you up and we will go to the mall for a few hours. That is a date, because the person will be waiting at home for you. If she does not show at the mall, no big deal. If she is not at home when you arrive, that is a “big deal”.

Harder...please.

September 16th, 2011
8:54 am

I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I think I may have come up with a solution: Communicate.

SlimUno

September 16th, 2011
8:56 am

Blog monster eating my posts for breakfast :-(

Basically, if you’re spending significant amount of time with someone & talking to them all the time and you’re advised it’s just “hanging out”, then he really can’t be looking for much of anything serious with you…You’re the in the mean time in between time chick

Mike P

September 16th, 2011
9:01 am

Sometimes I find it hard to determine if its dating… there are too many people out there pretending to be serious but are just passing the time, out for the fun of it all. Then there are those out there who aren’t ready to be in a relationship but go out on dates to get their mind off from those they’re pining after.

Mike P

September 16th, 2011
9:04 am

SlimUno, sorry to hear that, but it happens to the best of us one time or another. I’m talking about the “we’re just hanging out” thing LoL

SlimUno

September 16th, 2011
9:10 am

Folks always talking about women want free meals…

So do you think two folks should go dutch for the initial part of the discovery process of gathering information about each other, assessing how they see life, themselves, their future and seeing if you want to take the time and be a part of one another lives THEN when you guys feel like, Hey she/he’s pretty cool and i would like to be exclusive, you start to pay for dates/outings or what have you???

Mr_NYC

September 16th, 2011
9:25 am

@Mike P – that was funny – stringing along or being strung along
@Slim – Naa, keep it old school, fella should take care of the lady if he’s wanting to enjoy her company while information gathering and assessing, staking out, checking out, feeling up lol

Bradley

September 16th, 2011
9:37 am

If you are a guy and you are hoping to get laid, its a date to you. If you are a woman just wanting a free meal and movie with no intentions of sex but want to drop on him all your frustrations about your past relationship that failed, its you taking advantage of the guy and that makes you the c word! trust me when we see you call, we sigh and wonder what the hell you want next!

Lady Strange

September 16th, 2011
9:41 am

There are some bitter people on this blog it seems.

But I agree with what was said above…. Communicate! That will clear all this up.

Leggs

September 16th, 2011
9:41 am

Dang, sure hope the percentage is low that women accepts a date with a man and drops all her frustrations on him about past relationship. Classy, secure women don’t do that.

Celisea

September 16th, 2011
9:42 am

Good morning folks,

What do you when you aren’t clear about whether you are dating someone or not?

Semantics I tell ya. Folks find differences and rules and “can’t dos” and “not reallys” when it’s something they don’t want to commit to. Technicalities come into play when folks want to have their cake and eat it too or have all the benefits of but not wrangling in on the real thing. Committing to something is easy and easy to recognize and easily do-able when one wants to.

Fion

September 16th, 2011
9:45 am

@Slim
speaking of dinner, what did you have last night???

Celisea

September 16th, 2011
9:49 am

Ask what you want to know. Be straight and to the point. Folks get mislead and are misguided when it comes to assuming. If you allow it, you can get milked (as in the cow rather than buying) have the punanny robbed, have folks to enjoy your time and attention and all because you’re assuming ya’ll are the same page, after all that, will look at you like “what (insert blank stare here)” if one ever decides to go for clarity. Nope…ask what you want to know and where it’s going. If that runs ‘em off, then “shu fly, don’t bother me.” Don’t be scared to get what you need and the information you need.

Celisea

September 16th, 2011
9:50 am

Nobody asked me but I went to the Orient Express….ahhhh, simply delish :)

James

September 16th, 2011
9:50 am

Mr_NYC got me rolling on the floor!!LOL

Celisea

September 16th, 2011
9:54 am

“What is the difference between dating and hanging out?”
If you are stringing someone along, its just hanging out. If you are being strung, its a date.

Good point. Imma have to agree.

abc

September 16th, 2011
9:55 am

What do you when you aren’t clear about whether you are dating someone or not?

What is the difference between dating and hanging out?

This may sound like a silly question but how do you know when you are actually on a date?

Well, I reckon that once you graduate from High School, it’ll all become clear for you, Diva.

Leggs

September 16th, 2011
10:01 am

****PSA****

Title: Business Application Consultant – Maximo

Description: Responsible for Maximo system implementations, management, and system level support for the Georgia System Operations Corporation’s shared services division under general supervision of the Director of Enterprise Systems. Creates project estimates and proposals based upon customers business requirements and presents project planning documents to enterprise management for approval. Monitors project team and reports status of Maximo system implementations and post-implementation support to company management. Coordinates detailed system analysis for customers. Develops and implements creative solutions to resolve business process problems. Supports previously implemented Maximo applications. Maintains positive customer relationships at all levels of the organization.

Education: Bachelor’s Degree – Information Technology, Computer Science or Business.

SlimUno

September 16th, 2011
10:02 am

Fion – I went into Publix thinking, hey maybe I’ll get some steamed peel & eat Shrimp, some corn on the cobb and some sort of veggie. What I ended up walking out with were two subs (one for the beau and I) some fruit and some wings :lol: I figured since I get off at 3 today that I would cook then so we wouldn’t be eating too late if I had cooked something. Go figure

Leggs

September 16th, 2011
10:11 am

Too funny, SlimNu.

Fion

September 16th, 2011
10:17 am

@ Slim / Leggs
for real Slim. U R a stone trip. But a good one. :)

Fion

September 16th, 2011
10:21 am

What is the difference between dating and hanging out?

If you Fantasize about being spanked, we are dating. If you think I’m kinky for wanting to tie you up,
We just hanging out.

Leggs

September 16th, 2011
10:23 am

All of that to walk out with subs is hysterical.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 16th, 2011
10:23 am

Ask and you shall seek. Dating is a possible may lead to courting whereas hanging you can go separate ways.

Good Morning:

Purple Regin

September 16th, 2011
10:24 am

How does an adult not know if they are on a date or not? Seriously are some people’s mind so messed up that they don’t know if they are on a date or not? Oddlty enough if you don’t know just ask. (I wish I could post my facial expression right now)

Leggs

September 16th, 2011
10:26 am

Is your face all scrunched up with the wrinkles in your forehead pulsating, PR?

SlimUno

September 16th, 2011
10:32 am

Leggs – And they were mmm mmm good too. He shole didn’t seem to mind especially since all he had was a protein bar all day. I probaby could’ve gotten away with Spaghetti O’s at that point too lol

Leggs

September 16th, 2011
10:34 am

:lol: I didn’t cook either, bought a philly cheesesteak for her to eat and I ate the rest of the baked talipia and a slice of bread.

Leggs

September 16th, 2011
10:35 am

I know it’s still early, but have any of you heard about the 18 year old who is now 19, and has 14 children under the age of 2. How vile, disgusting and mentally challenging. His mother is concerned that she doesn’t want to show “favoritism.” Hell, she needs to be concerned about many other things.

TenderRoni

September 16th, 2011
10:36 am

The reason why its unclear is because men/women can be vague. Because some don’t want to commit to even a date. I’m to the point if I hear hesitation in his voice, or he doesn’t want to clarify my questions, he’s cancelled. No more game playing.
Come to think of it, this type of question is for those out there playing games. Because a serious contender will let his intentions be known.

TenderRoni

September 16th, 2011
10:39 am

@Leggs, I heard that this morning on SH. First I was like WOW, then I was like where is his Dad, uncles, older cousins some male figure to teach him. And how in the heck is he going to take care of all them chilern. Do you think the mother dropped the ball, any?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 16th, 2011
10:42 am

Hey Leggs:
How is that possible, four sets of twins and a couple of tripletts? All under age 2.

kimmie

September 16th, 2011
10:43 am

Happy End of the Week Day!

What’s up folks?

On topic – To be honest, the older I get the more some of these “issues” seem so petty and childish! I don’t think any of us are in high school on this blog! You should know when you are dating, seeing someone regularly and building a relationship with them, versus just hooking up. I “hang out” with my buddies. Before marriage I didn’t “hang out” with men, or one man, on a regular basis and likely get physical. Either we were dating or not. Anybody who isn’t sure after spending regular time with a person is playing games.

Leggs

September 16th, 2011
10:46 am

It was the letter from yesterday, but thought it deserved a second reading.

@Blackfoote ~ ummmm, I think 14 different eager to spread their legs teenage girls. At first his mother thought he fathered 19, but DNA came back positive for only 14. Good grief!

kimmie

September 16th, 2011
10:46 am

Leggs – I heard that Strawberry Letter yesterday. For some reason, I have a hard time believing it. A lot of those letters seem unreal, but possible. I just have a feeling about this one though.

Blackfoote – He supposedly slept with 17 women all over town and 14 of them got pregnant.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 16th, 2011
10:47 am

Oh it’s a guy never mind my question thought you meant a girl. I’m doing battles with the sandman this morning, been here since 9 last night.

TenderRoni

September 16th, 2011
10:48 am

@Black- from what I gathered on the radio, the grandmother had dna tests done on like 17 girls, and 14 were from her son.

Mike P

September 16th, 2011
10:50 am

were they all by different mothers?

SlimUno

September 16th, 2011
10:50 am

Leggs – I came this <<>>> close to getting some phillys for us too. lol

Yeah I heard that mess on the radio yesterday morning when it first aired. That is just plain STUPID to be that young with that many kids and different baby mama’s!! he needs to have his pen is removed

kimmie

September 16th, 2011
10:52 am

Leggs – I hate to be completely negative, but everyone in that entire situation, if it’s true, is doomed. There is no way, unless he was a professional superstar athlete, or wins the lotto, that he will ever be able to financially take care of all of those kids. He’s mentally impaired and the girls are stupid for taking up with him. Unless some of those girls are lucky enough to have well off parents that will support them while they go to college and try to build some type of career for themselves & their child, I don’t see a bright future for them or the kids. A dead-end road. :(

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 16th, 2011
10:52 am

It’s too late for anybody to tell him he’s been a bad boy. Still in his teens he might have forty by the time he’s forty. That woke me up…..LOL

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 16th, 2011
10:56 am

A lot of those letters seem unreal, but possible. I just have a feeling about this one though.

Yeah some of those letters sounds kind of far fetched but I heard about the young man with all them chilren and couldn’t believe it….the implications from this will be far reaching. I mean first off with the amount of women he’s slept with they could’ve gotten an STI from one and passed it on and on…secondly how is he going to take care of that many children financially as well as be a GOOD dad when he’s had no template to draw that experience from. And the fact that mama doesn’t want to show favoratism should’ve never been uttered cause that’s the least of her worries at this point. This whole story is sad…

Gracie L

September 16th, 2011
10:59 am

Fion,

Heh….. Good breakdown.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

September 16th, 2011
11:00 am

Down on the country side there’s a house with a shed in the back, if I was his dad we would have regular meetings in there and his butt would be too sore to get anybody else pregnant. Sad thing he probably don’t have a father figure in his life.