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Have a bad dating record?

Some of us have a laundry list of romantic crimes we aren’t proud of. Heaven knows I’ve had my share of misadventures when I was the culprit/perpetrator.

I always hope that the bad dating karma won’t catch up to me, but honestly I’m prepared for that to happen. All I can do is be honest with my guy about the mistakes I made and prove that I learned my lesson.

Do you find that it is difficult living down a bad dating rap?

What would you do if the person you are dating discovered something awful from your relationship past?

When it comes to a bad dating record, should we have to answer for it with the person we are currently seeing?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

190 comments Add your comment

Matt

September 14th, 2011
6:54 am

Depending on how bad it was, I wouldn’t rule out kicking them to the curb.

Mike

September 14th, 2011
8:04 am

I agree with Matt. It really depends on the “crime.” But depending on what that rap sheet looks like, I would definitely reconsider investing my valuable time and energy on someone who has a track record of botched relationships.

Matt

September 14th, 2011
8:35 am

If they have a proven track record of being a cheater, or treating their significant badly, or being really high maintenance with no appreciation, those are factors that will most likely not change, those people men and women need to appreciate what that have and some times an extended period of not having that would benefit them. Spoiled rotten needs to be taken care of at some point.

Mike P

September 14th, 2011
8:55 am

WD –

What would you do if the person you are dating discovered something awful from your relationship past?

I don’t believe I have anything awful in my past relationships to discover, certainly nothing worth mentioning.

When it comes to a bad dating record, should we have to answer for it with the person we are currently seeing?

It depends on how bad it is, for example, if a woman has too much experience in dating wrong dudes (bad boys) and not enough experience dating with real men. You might cause a real man way too much trouble if he is not aware of your past, so its best to answer for it, giving him a better understanding.

Casual observer

September 14th, 2011
9:02 am

First of all, If you have never screwed up a relationship then you should already be married and this question should be moot… Next, as long a a lesson was learned from past experiences, then its nobody’s business what happened in my past relationships, and its non of my business what the circumstance of their past were either….

MenRhard2FigureOut

September 14th, 2011
9:06 am

Your past is your past. Unless your past dating experience will cause problems in your current relationship, I believe it should be left in the past.

Lady Strange

September 14th, 2011
9:07 am

Morning All! It’s going to depend on the situation. If they’ve cheated before then they can hit the road. Same goes if they are an abuser, be it drugs or physical/verbal abuse. Most things can be worked through with good communication and by being open and honest with eachother.

MsMarriedUp

September 14th, 2011
9:10 am

I was just about to ask… what’s a bad dating record? I’ve had many, many friends and have always tried to be on the up and up with any and everyone, so now I’m a little curious.

Is ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ considered acceptable?

Aunt Smoky

September 14th, 2011
9:13 am

its none of my business what the circumstance of their past were either….

You would not want to know if they were a serial cheater, abuser or stalker……?

Siht………

Mike P

September 14th, 2011
9:18 am

MsMarriedUp -

Is ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ considered acceptable? I think that “don’t ask, don’t tell” isn’t workable, especially in modern dating (internet access)… people are creatures of habit, once a cheater, always a cheater… and so on. If a person has a bad rap, chances are they’re gonna do the same to their new partner. One way or another, he or she is gonna find out, at least in part. JMO.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

September 14th, 2011
9:26 am

What’s bad – really?

Did you take something that wasn’t offered? Did you hurt someone?

Beyond the (non-permissable) infliction of pain, there is no bad, it’s just.what.happened.

Owning your past is one of the first signs of maturity. The second is learning from your mistakes and not repeating them again.

If I had a bad rap, so be it. Give me some more time to rhyme, more dank to clear my mind, and you’ll get your hot track in due time. Outkast.

Aunt Smoky

September 14th, 2011
9:39 am

I guess one person’s bad is another person’s it is what is or was. Bad is subjective….

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
9:44 am

Good morning.

Do you find that it is difficult living down a bad dating rap? I’m very thankful this doesn’t apply to me. Sure, I’ve made mistakes but I’ve never treated anyone badly, nor did I cheat. My bluntness may have caused some to cringe, but that’s about it.

mark

September 14th, 2011
9:46 am

lord knows i have made mistakes in relationships. and i just try to be honest with the ladies i meet. but i can handle most anything a woman has done in her dating life ecept if she has been arrested for a serious crime or if she admits that she has cheated more than twice on a mate.
And if she has ever dated a WHITEMAN! shes Done With Me cant except that!

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

September 14th, 2011
9:47 am

If you rape, hurt a child, or a woman – that’s bad. Period.

The shades of grey lie only between two consenting adults.

Matt

September 14th, 2011
9:55 am

I look at relationships like I would business, I wouldn’t invest in someone that has a bad rap, unless I have seen proof that they have changed, why waste the time, money, and effort. If you see someone is a certain way then generally speaking they won’t change, if they get what they want by doing bad things that is a character flaw, hurting people, in one way or another shows a general lack of morality, and those people are selfish and shouldn’t be messed with.

Amia

September 14th, 2011
10:12 am

Like beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess bad is too. What’s bad? Everyone has done something in their relationship that the next person may think is bad and the person after that, think it’s fine. If someone cheated on a girlfriend, not a deal breaker for me. Cheated on a wife? I would want to know the whole story. Beat a woman? Deal breaker. Hurt a child? Deal breaker. In and out of jail and expect your SO to get you out? Not gonna happen.

Casual observer

September 14th, 2011
10:14 am

This is where the problem comes in… Why are you even considering dating a rapist, child abusing junkie??? I thing we should play this one above board and make this about rational semi “Normal” situations…. i.e. a person who has cheated…When I was first out of college, I had a long term girl friend…I went to Frankies (This was back in the day) and hooked up with another girl. The jump-off and I kicked it on teh side for like 6 or 7 months…Fast forward 18 years and I am not the same guy… i have grown and would choose not to go down that road again… Do my 23 year old choices now make me undateable as a 40+ year old???

abc

September 14th, 2011
10:23 am

Besides the obvious criminal behavior that would be of interest, consider these:

Suppose she’d previously married a man just because he had money.

Suppose she’d been a serial cheater — did she cheat with you?

Suppose she’d taken vengeance in the form of vandalism, of an ex’s car, house, whatever. Chicks keying cars is almost a cliche.

“Don’t ask don’t tell” is pretty much the rule with women, isn’t it? There’s plenty they don’t want you to know, it’s pointless to ask. If they answer, it won’t be the truth anyway, so why bother.

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
10:28 am

Morning All!

Casual – You are making a lot of sense today. I agree with both of your posts.

I’m not going there about obvious stuff like rape or physical violence. Those things should be a matter of public record. Plus, there are folks that will still date them too, warts and all. I’m talking more realistic stuff, like Casual said. If you made mistakes in the past, like cheated on someone, aren’t you already paying for that, since you’re no longer with that person you cheated on? I mean, how long should you have to pay? Plus, you’d only be hearing one side of the story. Get to know people and observe their behavior, how folks around them like their friends and family react to them, and decide for yourself. Again, another case for taking your time and getting to know someone – but folks don’t want to do that these days, wanna jump into the physical and then look crazy when they find out something unflattering!

Leggs – Cool emails!

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
10:30 am

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
10:58 am

Where is everyone?

Casual observer

September 14th, 2011
11:02 am

Morning Kimmie :)

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
11:02 am

I know, it’s like everyone took a siesta at the same time.

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
11:10 am

Morning Casual! :)

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
11:10 am

Your past is your past. I am a firm believer in that. As long as you did not hurt a child or rape a woman. All is forgiven and there is a clean slate with me. Believe it or not some people do change for the better.

Mr_NYC

September 14th, 2011
11:10 am

Good morning all — not a very ocmplicated topic. Take your time, observe, listen and ask questions. If mistakes have been made is there evidence that the lesson has been learned. Make your decision.
Risne and repeat. :-)

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
11:12 am

Also, I think a woman is never totally honest. (Blog vest on) So I really think that they keep some deep down things to themself, no matter how much they trust you.

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
11:15 am

Purple – At least be original! LOL!!

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
11:15 am

Same for mankind.

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
11:18 am

Kimmie, what did I do? LOL
Leggs I disagree a man will get to a point where he will share all with his woman a woman will keep 1 or 2 things to herself and never admit it, not even to her best female friend. LOL

Aunt Smoky

September 14th, 2011
11:20 am

Also, I think a woman is never totally honest. (Blog vest on) So I really think that they keep some deep down things to themself, no matter how much they trust you.

I agree with this. And I say the same thing about men. I don’t believe you are ever gonna know all of anyone’s past. I don’t care how long you know them….I know some things I am taking to the grave.

I know I am not the only one.

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
11:20 am

I disagree, PR.

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
11:21 am

Thanks Aunt Smoky. I concur!

Exiled!

September 14th, 2011
11:21 am

Good morning!

‘As long as u didn’t rape a woman’

What if she raped a man but she wasn’t charged coz the man was coy about pressing charges?

Would her libido intimidate you,if ure male or it’s the principle that you still don’t like:snatching without authorization?

As for me,I just prefer I font hear about your past coz I may not like it or it may just gross me out.

I am not Jesus,I don’t play fair.

It’s my rules that matter,fair,forgiving or not.

I’m just not open to somebody else transgressions except my own.

That’s how I protect my heart!

SexyCool

September 14th, 2011
11:21 am

There are some things that are between me and God. (That is all.)

Exiled!

September 14th, 2011
11:22 am

Don’t hear

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
11:24 am

Purple – Speak for yourself. I don’t think all men will share every morsel with his woman. It depends on the man and his experiences with women and his ability to trust. Same applies with women. And so what if a PERSON wants to keep something to themself, especially if it does not hurt the relationship? It may be something that happened when you were a kid and you got past it and just prefer not to revisit it, even with a buddy. So what?

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
11:28 am

There are things in my past that I will never, ever speak about. I’m with you SC, God knows and it will be taken to the grave with me.

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
11:30 am

Exiled if she raped a man and it wasn’t anally it’s all good.

Kimmie I am speaking for everyman and woman on this matter. Because I am the KING of the Internet today. It is written so it shall be! lol

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
11:31 am

Yeah Leggs and Sexy Cool because if anyone besides us and God knows what we did in that kidded pool filled with baby oil and rubber duckies…welll other may look differently at us.

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
11:33 am

Purple – Alright, I see you take your REIGN seriously, oh purple badness!!LOL!!

But really, with alot of things it’s not an attempt to be deceitful. It’s a desire to not relive the pain and move on. Let it stay in the past, where it belongs.

Exiled!

September 14th, 2011
11:34 am

The only people who are truly transparent with their past are those with a short rap sheet.

If ur f-kin rap is looooong,u ain’t telling none,at least not a whole lot to nobody.

U just kinda airbrush/fudge ur record a lil bit,put some lil non damaging dirt then KIM.

Whose gonna reveal that orgy u had with some strangers when after u went and left that club with ur girls and headed to the hotel?

Coz ur boo is gon be like :eek: :x
:???:

Biaatch!

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
11:35 am

Exactly. Everything about one’s past doesn’t need to be told. If it’s irrelevant, zip it!

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
11:39 am

The dudes on this blog love to be all up in somebody else’s business!

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
11:40 am

Ex just like being all up in it….

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
11:43 am

Cold cut artist is Angela Winbush (404) 741-1075

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
11:46 am

kimmie, like who? Not me. LOL I don’t care because I have a checkered past with some bad stuff. But I have a great past in regards to dating LOL

abc

September 14th, 2011
11:49 am

If asked, I’ll tell the truth about my past. It’s there, I did it, I don’t see any reason to deny it. Some of it ain’t pretty, either, but hey, if you ask I’ll tell you. That certainly goes for sweetie too, if she asks, I’ll tell.

But, men know that women aren’t like that. I think comments today reinforce that. A man that repeatedly asks a chick about things she won’t talk about is naive, or immature, or he’s hanging with the wrong chick. Lord knows, if it’s that big of a secret, it’s a pretty sure bet that he doesn’t really want to know the truth, anyway, chances are.

Aunt Smoky

September 14th, 2011
11:51 am

with alot of things it’s not an attempt to be deceitful. It’s a desire to not relive the pain and move on. Let it stay in the past, where it belongs.

Yep. That’s it. Good post Kimmie.

Exiled!

September 14th, 2011
11:51 am

Kimmie?

men,we are selfish for the most part.

We like to hear ur (females) salacious past so that we can screen.

But to ur credit ladies,some of u ladies are attracted by our salacious past!

You like credibility!

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
12:00 pm

Purple – My answer to all of this is “oh women can’t be honest” is “so?” I actually respect Exiled position on it – he couldn’t handle the truth. That’s how he protects his heart. More people are just like him than most care to admit. If they really got the truth, it would require them to have to face up to it or act on it. They may reveal an ugly side of themself to that other person – that they are not that forgiving or tolerant.

I’ll never forget this radio spot I heard a few years back. This lady’s husband was away on business but he told her when he got back he wanted to tell her something. She said she was pretty sure he was going to tell her he had had an affair. She said she didn’t want to know because she liked the life she had. They had a decent marriage and great kids and lived in a nice place and she didn’t want to rock the boat. If he told her, that meant she had to face it and make a decision and she didn’t want to have to do that.

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
12:05 pm

Some like the notion of ignorance being blissful.

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
12:06 pm

Exiled – You just being honest, yourself. Admitting to what a lot of folks wont admit.

To be honest, I had a guy I was dating tell me some ugly stuff about his past, and yes, it did make me look at him differently. I just couldn’t see myself married to him or bringing a child into the world with him, considering what he told me. I eased away.

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
12:06 pm

Leggs – Yep, she admitted that. It was on Q100 a few years back.

SexyCool

September 14th, 2011
12:13 pm

I really hate the heads up “We need to talk later/when I get home” line.

Just start talking when you see me.

TheDude just did that to me yesterday. Ugh…

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
12:15 pm

SCool – That drives me CRAZY!!! My boss does that sometimes when he wants to mess with me!!LOL!!

MsMarriedUp

September 14th, 2011
12:17 pm

Man! Blinked and already at page 2.

I’ve done forgot who I wanted to quote back… Casual Observer is one… so on point. But there were at least two others too.

Come to think of it, and thanks all for the assortment of clarifications, but I agree… the past needs to stay in the past. We need to deal with people where we find them… or, meet them.

I don’t/didn’t like nasty surprises either, and have dealt with plenty deal breakers, and seen so much of this stuff that most don’t share painful matters, or things that they might think you’d shy away from. Again, try to meet people and develop casual friendships. If more develops great. If nothing,
so beit… hopefully you’ll at least have another friend. Someone that might even come to help you and maybe Ms. or Mr. Right move in/out of your next place.

Exiled!

September 14th, 2011
12:17 pm

I hate that too Sexxy!

makes me look around for my shadow.

:lol:

SexyCool

September 14th, 2011
12:22 pm

Quite frankly, there are some things that happened in my past that just are none of anybody’s business.

Let some dead sht stay buried. It doesn’t make me any less honest. It just is what it is.

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
12:27 pm

“with alot of things it’s not an attempt to be deceitful. It’s a desire to not relive the pain and move on. Let it stay in the past, where it belongs.”

If in a relationship and asked and not shared it’s deceitful, regardless if you don’t want to relive the pain or not.

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
12:28 pm

SCool – Exactly, nobody’s business.

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
12:29 pm

@kimmie ~ I thought it might have been Q100.

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
12:29 pm

Women are the devil! LOL All men are honest until a devil woman breaks his heart, then we are a lost cause until we need viagra! LOL

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
12:30 pm

Purple – Okay, call it what you want. Plus the stuff that comes to my mind would probably never be asked anyway, family stuff & such. You do what works for you.

SexyCool

September 14th, 2011
12:34 pm

If you ask me a specific question, then I will answer the question you asked. But don’t expect a voluntary disclosure of anything that I’d rather not talk about or anything that you did not directly question.

And regardless, until we reach a certain level of trust in a relationship, I’m not telling you anything that I don’t believe that I can trust you to handle. There are things that I will tell TheDude now that I wouldn’t tell him a year ago and that I certainly would not have shared when we first started dating.

Exiled!

September 14th, 2011
12:35 pm

SexxyCool?

and be sure not to invite that way ward,Facebook cousin to ur wedding coz her sloppy mouf might just spill some dead sht bout u while she next to Dude’s next of kin.

That’s the thing bout dead ish,be careful who ur new boo will talk to in ur fam.

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
12:37 pm

there are some things that happened in my past that just are none of anybody’s business.

Soo cosign and that’s where it’ll be left…in my past. I think sometimes there are things about people we’re seeing/dating/boo-ed up with that we want to know versus what we may need to know…sometimes there are things better left unsaid. Once you’ve brought it up hell then what?….and it’s that next step alot of folks really don’t want to deal with and want to avoid more than anything.

I learned in my last relationship that guys(not all) have fragile egos and even though they may ask the question, they don’t always want the answer….I guess at certain points that could be either sex depending on the situation of course.

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
12:38 pm

@eX ~ another good reason to keep stuff to yourself never telling nare soul.

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
12:38 pm

Hopefully you all know I am joking..sort off.

Aunt Smoky

September 14th, 2011
12:40 pm

As someone else mentioned, anything that may truly be a deal breaker is a matter of public record. Cheating, unfortunately is not. That is a dealbreaker for me. Oh, and don’t fugg with Aunt Smoky’s medicine ;-) We good.

SexyCool

September 14th, 2011
12:41 pm

My family doesn’t know any of my business that I don’t mind him knowing.

Like I said earlier, me and God. (lol)

SlimUno

September 14th, 2011
12:45 pm

Just popping in for a few…Let’s face it, folks are judgemental whether they’ve lived a stellar, wrong-free, bad decision free life or not. But we have the words immature and mature for a reason. As you grow from a young child to an older adult, one can only hope or expect you to make the crazy mistakes or bad decisions during the younger years. However, if you are still exhibiting behaviors or decision making as if you’re still young and dumb, then at that point your ‘rep’ is held against you…of course within reason or extreme situations. There is no need to rehash every life experience or every bad situation to a person you’re dating unless it will have some bearing on the present or future. If you did a few adult movies during college, that might be something i’ll need to know. If you got drunk and wasted before, threw up on yourself or something minor, then that may just make for a good story but it’s not something i have to know….unless you killed someone in a bad car accident.

SlimUno

September 14th, 2011
12:46 pm

And i’m sure if we all had the ability to read each other’s minds or see a flash into their past, no one would be with anyone. We’d all be alone, fearful to date or be vulnerable…It’s life

Exiled!

September 14th, 2011
12:46 pm

@Leggs/Sexxy!

another reason to keep stuff to urself!

me and God!

U know ladies,u got me beat. :lol:

that’s why abc don’t trust U :lol:

see that’s the difference between u and men.

No way I’m not gonna tell my closest male cousins bout that girl that had me crawling and hollering her name in the hotel room!

:lol:

SexyCool

September 14th, 2011
12:47 pm

Slim – ThatIsTheTruth.com

SlimUno

September 14th, 2011
12:47 pm

O/T: I found a home for my kitty cat so I don’t have to take him to the humane society anymore. I’m so happy & relieved. :D

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
12:48 pm

Purple – What would you do if you found out the hair stylist your wife was going to was someone she dated briefly and slept with in the past? She told you, but only after you all had been married a year or 2. He’s married to someone else happily and she is happy with you. No lingering feelings.

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
12:52 pm

That is good news, SlimNu.

@Ex ~ it’s not even about being secretive. Stuff from back in the day that has no bearing whatsoever on my present state of mind or the relationship I’m in can stay in the past.

Exiled!

September 14th, 2011
12:54 pm

That’s why I don’t like chics with tattoos

Worse if that tattoos are next to or near some nether region or groin or near the zip code

Coz no way a tattoo artist ain’t gon say some smack and test her mental bearings to get some,as he is doing the art.

They see and smash a lotta azz!! :lol:

And then when u think bout those who may pay in kind!

If she got tattoos,it’s a short term project!

Aunt Smoky

September 14th, 2011
12:54 pm

And i’m sure if we all had the ability to read each other’s minds or see a flash into their past, no one would be with anyone. We’d all be alone, fearful to date or be vulnerable…It’s life

so true!

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
12:55 pm

Slim Nu maybe I’ve missed it but why are you getting rid of the kitty?

She told you, but only after you all had been married a year or 2.

Was she seeing this stylist prior to marriage and if so then she had plenty of time to tell him but the fact that she’s waited as long as she has might cause her hubby to give her a brief side eye…NOT b/c she dated him but she chose to wait to tell him. That in itself might make him think she’s got some more dirt she’s not sharing.

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
12:57 pm

Exiled – Suppose she just had a little one on her arm? Like a flower with her late mother’s name under it?

Aunt Smoky

September 14th, 2011
12:59 pm

Exiled- I often thought about that myself…Aunt Smoky aint no prude, but er’body can’t see the pie!

Some folk I know have tats like that. I know they had to show their azz to get em…..literally! :lol:

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
1:03 pm

Sassy – This is a true situation that happened to a friend of mine. She dated the stylist briefly when she was in college, so it had happened 10 years prior. Her hubby told her a year down the line that it kinda bothered him, but he didn’t make a big deal about it. She briefly stopped going to the stylist. She & hubby divorced(not over that), but she told the next guy she dated about it up front and he told her to switch stylists and she did until they broke up. But she moaned & groaned the entire time that no one did her hair like he did.

Exiled!

September 14th, 2011
1:04 pm

Leggs?

Upper body ain’t too bad,I can understand the rational sometimes,sentimentalism etc.

But lower body and below,I’m excusing myself coz I’m questioning a lotta of things.

Some of the tattoo positioning has to leave u wondering about the person’s mental make up when they had it. Their mental disposition, as it were.

Speaks volumes!

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
1:06 pm

Exiled – Actually, to think about it, unless you are looking for a virgin, why should you worry about whether or not she slept with the tatoo artist since she got one in a conspicuous area? How is that any different that her having had any boyfriend in the past, before you, that she slept with?

Exiled!

September 14th, 2011
1:07 pm

Kimmie,she needed to grow up!

Keep that nugget to urself heifer.

Aunt Smoky

September 14th, 2011
1:08 pm

Some of the tattoo positioning has to leave u wondering about the person’s mental make up when they had it. Their mental disposition, as it were

Don’t be too hard on em Exiled….they may have been chillin with Aunt Smoky that day ;-)

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
1:11 pm

but she told the next guy she dated about it up front and he told her to switch stylists and she did until they broke up.

I can sorta understand that and would expect some men to react that way…however,since it happened 10+ years prior, the current guy might think it’s not a big deal. It could go either way I guess. But clearly she should’ve told the hubby b/c for him to come back and tell her( a year later) that it bothered him meant he’s been carrying it around all that time and EVERY time she went to the stylist(or said she was going there) he might’ve been feeling some kinda way…communication is key to a successful, lasting relationship.

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
1:15 pm

Thanks, Ex, but kimmied asked the question.

It will take Aunt Smoky and Father Sniff to get me in a tat’s chair. I am so afraid.

SexyCool

September 14th, 2011
1:15 pm

For anyone who knows anyone who needs this – Tomorrow is the deadline to apply for mortgage assistance through this program.

http://findehlp.com/

Exiled!

September 14th, 2011
1:16 pm

Kimmie because I would ask myself this question:would I be comfortable Now,with her going to get a tattoo like that in the same area but different spot?

wld I be comfy with a tattoo artist up in there touching and messing with the stuff I’m supposed to exclusively handle?

that’s my thinking

A tattoo in that spot is as good as u not telling me ur past but saying hey,’ I can just show u the evidence of it’ :lol:

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
1:16 pm

How is the on again, off again hair stylist feeling. Anybody thinking of him (lol). He knows when she has a new boyfriend and when they break up.

abc

September 14th, 2011
1:23 pm

Tattoos are deal breakers anyway, never mind the guy who applied them. Tattoos are for sailors and bikers. It ain’t art, it’s mutilation.

Ain’t no ex’s around either, period. Deal breaker. I don’t have any ex’s hanging around or that I ever see, and that’s a 2 way street.

SexyCool

September 14th, 2011
1:25 pm

That’s one of those things that I would see no reason to voluntarily disclose.

SexyCool

September 14th, 2011
1:27 pm

At the same time, I would probably have found another stylist by now.

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
1:27 pm

That’s one of those things that I would see no reason to voluntarily disclose

me either…

Casual observer

September 14th, 2011
1:32 pm

Ok…how would the converstaion regarding the hairdresser even happen??? Did the dude just assume that she was fuggin the Bronner Brother and go off???

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
1:33 pm

kimmie, I would feel decieved because she told me she had only slept with two people before me and I am familiar with one of them. I don’t know him though. And the other guy was her college sweet heart long term relationship etc. But we have a rule if she or I are in proximity of someone or has dealings with someone we have dated before we would let each other know. So if I found out later that she has dated/slept with her Hair Stylist I would have issue, because we have established parameters for a situation exactly like you gave. But her Hair Stylist is a sexy woman soooooooooooooooo LOL

Exiled!

September 14th, 2011
1:37 pm

Casual

Aunty Smoky

:lol:

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
1:38 pm

side note/office vent: I depise fake people…is it really that serious for you to have to lie or pretend…really?! Get a life,yo :???:

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
1:45 pm

*despise* not depise..but I digress

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
1:48 pm

O/T ~ has any of you seen the picture of Taylor (Real Housewife whose husband killed himself) where she’s sporting a black eye? She says he punched her but she never reported it to the police. I cannot imagine a man balling up his fist and, hell not a man, my husband, and clocking me!

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
1:50 pm

Leggs, I bet she will listen to the next man when he tells her to do something.

Exiled!

September 14th, 2011
1:53 pm

So what’s the most u can endure before u bail out Leggs?

I cloacked Queen,early on in our marriage.

We have both grown from it.

She learnt to simmer down her chatter box

I take a walk outside when I see the temp rising

never say never!

Exiled!

September 14th, 2011
1:54 pm

Purp!
:lol:

U Italian!

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
1:55 pm

I’ve never hit a woman before, never will. Only time I use fist to cuffs is if I am physically threatened for my safety. A woman can’t do that to me.

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
1:55 pm

I cannot imagine a man balling up his fist and, hell not a man, my husband, and clocking me!

Ultimately I think guys try that isht with females who’ll let them get away with it for whatever reason she has. I might be wrong but it’s been my experience in several situations…if you look like you might act a fkn azz they leave you alone…at least me anyway.

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
1:58 pm

@Ex ~ been there done that. I bailed when I couldn’t take anymore of anything.

Aunt Smoky

September 14th, 2011
2:01 pm

I might be wrong but it’s been my experience in several situations…if you look like you might act a fkn azz they leave you alone…at least me anyway.

You are not wrong :lol:

Punks jump up to get beat down….fuggin wit Aunt Smoky.

SexyCool

September 14th, 2011
2:02 pm

Aunt Smoky – you’ve got me crackin’ up. (lol)

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
2:05 pm

I feel you Aunty…I don’t start isht but if you try me like that then I’m obliged to meet you in the swamp…thankfully I’ve only had to go there once and that was a loooong time ago.

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
2:06 pm

Enter your comments here

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
2:08 pm

I don’t think it’s if a woman will fight back, because if he will hit you he will fight you. That is probably what he wants. A man would not hit a woman. Now if a woman balls up her fist and punches a man first, she deserves a punch back.

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
2:10 pm

Back from lunch

Interesting responses!!LOL!!

Casual – She brought it up to hubby. He never would have known if she didn’t tell him.

To be honest, gang, I really think she told hubby just to F with him. She used to do some crazy mess back in the day. Stylist had definitely moved on and his wife is crazy jealous! It irritated him that my friend was playing musical chairs with him, almost like she was trying to stir up mess, and he almost didn’t take her back the 2nd time. Only reason he did was because he was really trying to establish himself and she had referred him a lot of clients, including me.

Now why she told the next boyfriend, a crazy dude in the Nation, is beyond me. I told her she needed to grow up.

Plus, a great stylist, especially one that will work with you when you are a little short of money, is hard to find. That’s an important relationship that women form!LOL!!

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
2:10 pm

If my mouth can’t get me out of it, you can rest assured, I’m not fighting a man.

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
2:14 pm

Leggs, wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
2:16 pm

To be honest, gang, I really think she told hubby just to F with him. – I’m thinking that’s the only reason to do it. Women do dumb crap like that thinking they have the upperhand over something. And, she’s the one to lose out in the long run.

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
2:16 pm

Leggs – Me either. Plus, I couldn’t be in a volatile relationship to begin with. My 1st serious boyfriend tested me like that, didn’t hit me but grabbed my arm tight and jerked me. I picked up everything I could get my hands on and went after him. I literally just snapped. He was actually scared of me & called me a crazy beyotch! Never tried that again, though I never gave him the opportunity again!!

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
2:18 pm

Now if a woman balls up her fist and punches a man first, she deserves a punch back

Then you get it how you live..simple

If my mouth can’t get me out of it, you can rest assured, I’m not fighting a man.

I totally agree Leggs but when a man lays hands on me out of anger all of that isht goes out the window…ALL of it. I’m lookin for an equalizer and its on.. That’s a deal breaker for me that I refuse to accept.

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
2:21 pm

That’s what I’m talking about Kimmie…you needed to send a message that that’s something you wouldn’t accept. One of my earlier serious relationships ended just like that…and I know he thought I was certified crazy after that.

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
2:24 pm

One time I was so hot at my ex I did ball up my fists. But, I kept my hands down to my side. Guess he believed I was gonna buck cuz the next thing I knew, my face was between the couch cushions. It happened so fast I was startled and swinging my skinny, but very pointy elbows. That was a sight to see.

kimmie

September 14th, 2011
2:25 pm

Sassy – I witnessed someone very close to me go thru that with a boyfriend, physical abuse, when I was younger and I vowed that would not be my story.

I was easy-going and naive and that dude used to walk all over me. He was definitely testing to see how far he could go. That’s where I drew the line.

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
2:28 pm

He was definitely testing to see how far he could go. That’s where I drew the line.

Exactly Kimmie..

MzNewy

September 14th, 2011
2:34 pm

Good Afternoon Everyone!

Hope all is well. I don’t think you should be reliving the dating past with your current. In addition, if you have a “bad dating rep”, you have to wonder why since the only common denominator in the dates is you. Any one who wants to know every little detail about your past is probably insecure. Forever comparing themselves to your exes. When you keep hearing “Do I __________ like your ex” (whatever blank may be) You may want to get ghost on him/her….that is nothing but trouble. Insecurity at it’s highest.

Aunt Smoky

September 14th, 2011
2:34 pm

Now, I’m not gonna punch a man just for the hell of it….and I believe if you swing, you can get swung on…male or female. Er’body keep their hand to themselves and we good.

Don’t cheat on me.

Don’t hit me.

Don’t steal from me.

Don’t fugg wit my medicine…..Aunt Smoky’s rules.

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
2:39 pm

Afternoon, all.

MzNewy

September 14th, 2011
2:46 pm

MzNewy was in a situation where I had to lay hands on a man….and I wasn’t talking in a Christian-like manner. Dude got caught cheating then decided to slap me. I tried to take him out in that house….I think because I am petite, he underestimated me. That is not the kind of relationship I wanted to be in. That was the first and last time he put his hands on me. Love doesn’t hurt so when you have to fight like you are in the street in your own home it is time to let that relationship go.

Hey ITL *waving*

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
2:49 pm

Did y’all read the story in today’s paper about the guy who strangled his girlfriend and set her body on fire? He set her on fire alright…and blew up the whole dang house and himself.

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
2:50 pm

Hey MzNewy!

Love doesn’t hurt so when you have to fight like you are in the street in your own home it is time to let that relationship go.

Say it again, Mz!! :)

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
2:53 pm

“…so when you have to fight like you are in the street in your own home it is time to let that relationship go.”

Worth repeating!!!

I remember when a gf of mine had to be taken to the hospital because her then bf broke her thumb. Oh hell no!!!!

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
2:53 pm

@ITL, too funny.

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
2:54 pm

Aunt Smoky, I don’t think I’ve ever read you before (I’m still kinda new) but you are cracking me up!! :lol: :lol:

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
2:59 pm

I read that story ITL…he tried to burn her body after he’d killed her…and why did he do that? She broke up with him earlier this year and now she’s gone. What kind of person..better yet what kind of mental isht are you dealing with to kill a person b/c they didn’t want to be with you?

Then after that I read a story outta Forest Park where a guy has kidnapped his four children and is gone…just sick I tell you. Why involve the children and try to use them as pawns…your own children?

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
3:00 pm

@Ex ~ you never gave me back the welcome mat.

Aunt Smokey, welcome to Blogsville. Your aroma/style is quite refreshing (lol).

Confirmed Bachelor

September 14th, 2011
3:03 pm

I have never cheated, so if I were to do date someone who has cheated and I found out about it, I really don’t care the reason why. You Cheat or have cheated, you are done. I forgive, but I never forget, doing so in my opinion is stupid. I feel for the most part, my record is clear.

MzNewy

September 14th, 2011
3:05 pm

I tried to knock his block off. After I dazed him with a well placed swing of a cast iron skillet, I leaned over him and said “As long as you are black and breathing you better NEVER try that again. Because one of us will leave in a bag and the other in cuffs. No get out of my house….TODAY”

MzNewy

September 14th, 2011
3:06 pm

ITL….I read that story. Instant justice. I love it. He got what he deserved.

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
3:06 pm

Sassy, even though I am not a vindictive person, and I don’t generally favor the death penalty, in this case I tend to think he got what he deserved. He stalked her (even breaking into her house through a window), trapped her in his car, took her life and left her children without a mother. I do not mourn his passing.

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
3:08 pm

MzNewy…why am I thinking about “grit ball” all of a sudden?? LOL “She’s in there playing grit ball…y’all come on” in my best Madea voice.

Speaking of Madea, did y’all see that Tyler Perry is the highest paid man in show biz???

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
3:25 pm

ITL he got what he had coming to him..what goes around does come back around..regardless of how slow or fast(in this case) it will come back around. Karma is a b!0tch..

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
3:35 pm

I am alone in my thoughts, if I type what I was thinking you all would swear I was Exiled. LOL

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
3:37 pm

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
3:42 pm

Let’s hear it, Purp.

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
3:45 pm

How hard is to hard to spank the “hiney” when doing certain “activities”? LOL

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
3:45 pm

I always leave red marks and hand prints. lol

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
3:48 pm

Too hard is when I say, “Dang, babe…that’s too hard. Ease up”

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
3:50 pm

For Real

September 14th, 2011
3:50 pm

Purp: Next place terry cloth on “hiney” then whack away.

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
3:50 pm

Too hard when she bucks up and looks at you with that “damn” look!!

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
3:50 pm

Too hard when you hear the “safe” word.

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
3:51 pm

Too hard when you hear her sniffling back tears.

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
3:52 pm

For Real, did you decide to take a break from your Comet scrubbing and visit? :)

Aunt Smoky

September 14th, 2011
3:52 pm

Too hard when she smack yo azz back.

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
3:52 pm

Too hard when she says “I’m done, get the f….off me!”

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
3:53 pm

LOL@Aunt Smoky and Leggs.

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
3:56 pm

Aunt Smoky if she smacks me back…that means the fun is just getting started!

LOL@For Real

Leggs, whats a safe word? lol

For Real

September 14th, 2011
3:59 pm

ITL: Yes, I’m having a VSRS @#$@**&%%$$&*(( awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

For Real now looking for the wet wipes.

Aunt Smoky

September 14th, 2011
4:00 pm

Aunt Smoky if she smacks me back…that means the fun is just getting started!

:lol: That’s what I’m talking about right there…..nice ‘n ruff!

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
4:03 pm

I call it Sweet Pain. Nothing like it!

Aunt Smoky

September 14th, 2011
4:04 pm

Thanks for the welcome Leggs.

ITL- I’ve been around, reading for a long time. Decided to post today.

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
4:05 pm

kiss me and I’ll kiss you back…love me and I’ll love you back….smack and I’ll smack you back..-Digital Underground lol

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
4:09 pm

I think a safe word is definitely needed when being tied up is involved. That’s a lot of control to relinquish to another.

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
4:13 pm

@Aunt Smokey ~ reading you makes me think of my Aunt Dee Dee!

For Real

September 14th, 2011
4:13 pm

Purp: (SMACK!!!!) Awwww yeah I like it how that ass jiggles Peaches!! Peaches, put that razor away! [pulls stungun]

Peaches aka Mrs. Purp: [grabs a garbage can lid] Whacks Mr. Lebeef aka Purp across the back.

Mr. Lebeef aka Purp: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you want to hit people with garbage cans lids? I see Peaches wanna be brused.

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
4:15 pm

That’s a lot of control to relinquish to another.

Which is why I’ve yet to do that…I’ve tied up several(nice black silk sashes) but haven’t met one that I’d let do it to me..it’s a control/power thing for sure..

Fion

September 14th, 2011
4:27 pm

Ya know y’all some Freaks, right!!!!

Fion

September 14th, 2011
4:29 pm

……and oh yeah, my safe word is Frosted Flakes.

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
4:34 pm

LOL@For Real. I hope you use the wet wipes to get some of that Comet off. Otherwise you’ll be walking around looking like Yoda. :lol:

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
4:34 pm

Same here, SassyMe. I haven’t done it either way, but mostly I can’t be left with no control whatsoever. I’ve heard once you meet the right one and are comfortable, it’s easy to do. Not sure about that either.

For Real

September 14th, 2011
4:34 pm

Chick: [turning on vibrator] You ain’t gon ish right for 2 weeks!!!!

Fion: [Screaming thru a ball gag] FROSTED FLAKES!!!! FROSTED FLAKES!!!! FROSTED FLAKES!!!!

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
4:36 pm

@Fion: Um, yeah…hello, pot? This is kettle calling….. ;)

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
4:37 pm

For Real: Don’t you mean “FWUTHED FWAKETH!!! FWUTHED FWAKETH!!! FWUTHED FWAKETH!!!

Casual observer

September 14th, 2011
4:38 pm

“Chick: [turning on vibrator] You ain’t gon ish right for 2 weeks!!!!

Fion: [Screaming thru a ball gag] FROSTED FLAKES!!!! FROSTED FLAKES!!!! FROSTED FLAKES!!!!”

LMAO!!! Thats the funniest isht I have read here all week!!!

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
4:40 pm

I’ve heard once you meet the right one and are comfortable, it’s easy to do.

That makes two of us Leggs…I know for a fact I haven’t met “the one” in that regard.

For Real that last skit was :lol:

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
4:41 pm

Dang now ITL speaking in tongues n sh1t… :shock:

SlimUno

September 14th, 2011
4:44 pm

Um…I think I must have the wrong room. (Peeking in seeing S & M going on)

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
4:45 pm

LOL@Sassy. I don’t know, but I’m just guessing that “st” and “s” sounds are out of the question when one is wearing a ball gag…. just guessing…

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
4:47 pm

LOL For Real, LOL

I heard Leggs vibrator gave her loose teeth. (runs away really really fast)

For Real

September 14th, 2011
4:48 pm

ITL: I knew you would understand. I’ll be there tonight at 8 with my grape favored ball gag for you.

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
4:50 pm

Nah, For Real….remember that’s the one that has the loose strap. Bring the mango one instead…you know how I love mango.

For Real

September 14th, 2011
4:51 pm

ITL: No, no the mango is for the butt plug… nevermind we’ll figure it out at 8.

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
4:51 pm

<—– just threw up a little in my mouth

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
4:52 pm

Dang PR, if I’m going to use one why I have to use it in my mouth! UGGH! {throwing my shoe}}!

Sassy Me...I'm on my level...yeah ;-)

September 14th, 2011
4:54 pm

but I’m just guessing that “st” and “s” sounds are out of the question when one is wearing a ball gag…. just guessing…

ITL you cwazy :mrgreen:

Purple Reign

September 14th, 2011
4:54 pm

Leggs, that’s the million dollar question..because vibrators are ot for the mouth. LOL

Leggs

September 14th, 2011
4:56 pm

@PR ~ Now you acting like I just got off the short bus…now throwing my other shoe!

For Real

September 14th, 2011
4:57 pm

“just threw up a little in my mouth” – That’s okay ITL let out.

[completely nakked] For Real is now hold back ITL’s hair so that she doesn’t get vomit it with a massive hard on.

Into the Light

September 14th, 2011
5:10 pm

And curtain….