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Dating the date juggler?

My friend David met a really great girl but he has already decided to move on. He found out that she is “in demand” and gets asked out quite a lot. Apparently, this is a deal breaker?

I asked him why would he give up so easily. He’s no slouch and he could easily “compete” for her affections. He said that he is no interested in doing so. Call it ego, or just knowing he has a boatload of options himself. He doesn’t date the date juggler.

I am not sure how he knows how many guys the young girl was seeing. I wonder why do we need to be the only one a person is dating? If you are single and exploring your options, should you really be penalized for that?

How many prospects should you try to take on at one time in dating?

Would it bother you if you went out with someone and you were their second date or meet up of the day?

Do you think a single person who juggles a bunch of dates is a deal breaker?

What do you do if you are seeing someone you connect with and you want them to drop their other options? Is it fair to ask that they stop seeing other people when you aren’t sure that you want to be exclusive with them?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

280 comments Add your comment

Blah blah

September 13th, 2011
1:16 pm

Yup, we had a skydiving wedding and at a drop zone party she cheated on me in the exact place we took our wedding vows, I married a real winner there huh.

oneofeach4me

September 13th, 2011
1:19 pm

@Blah ~ don’t put all us women in the same category, even though I am sure at this stage it’s easier said that done for you. That is pretty dayum triffling of her… but unfortunately it happened. All you can do now is move on and be happy, THAT my friend is the best revenge!

Blah blah

September 13th, 2011
1:23 pm

@oneofeach4me thanks, I am doing fine, since she has been gone I have gone on vacations, I have been having a good time, so it’s all good with me. She can rot for all I care, I am just getting back into it, I’ll get there, I am not too worried about it.

Leggs

September 13th, 2011
1:23 pm

@SexyC ~ thanks for the laugh. I was drinking water and it went down the wrong pipe re your 12:50. Also tell her to be careful, her employer could be lurking.

Casual observer

September 13th, 2011
1:23 pm

Blah, You should have pushed BOTH of their azzes out of the plane!!!

SexyCool

September 13th, 2011
1:24 pm

Oh…and it sounds like your social activities are geared towards all-male or solo activities. Gonna be kinda hard to meet a chick in any of those situations. Considered trying new things? Anything on your bucket list that might put you around more people in casual situations?

czBrat

September 13th, 2011
1:27 pm

Blah blah

September 13th, 2011
1:28 pm

@SC not right at the moment, I am not dating right now anyway, I am getting back to the shape I was in prior to marriage, I am not scrawny, but I need to get my old build back, it’s going pretty quick, I just gotta keep at it. BTW if any of you live near one LIFETIME is freakin AWESOME!!!

Leggs

September 13th, 2011
1:29 pm

@SassyMe ~ haven’t frequented a bar in a long time. I’ll keep that one in mind.

Jake: Sweet Peeda Jeeda, TWB

September 13th, 2011
1:30 pm

@Blah…1st things you gotta do is get over the ex-wife, its fairly obvious that she kinda fugged your head up…get some casual azz for bout a month, u a military cat, so you prolly in decent shape, its plenty of pudddy out here for your man, and women can see when a man isn’t confident, which probably the real problem that you are having….better that the cheating happened now…how bout if you were 10-15 yrs in…look for the positive bruh and keep on livin, cause the clock gonna tick tock whether you are stuck in a moment in time or not..tighten up soldier!!!

SexyCool

September 13th, 2011
1:31 pm

Makes sense. Sounds like you’re in a fairly decent headspace. Wish ya’ the best, bud.

oneofeach4me

September 13th, 2011
1:31 pm

@Blah ~ yup! That’s my gym too! Gotta love a gym with a steam room, pools, and hot tubs!!

Casual observer

September 13th, 2011
1:47 pm

Blah, I go to the LifeTime @ Discover Mills, and there are always a ton of women there…Seems like that would be a good place for you to catch yourself a FWB or as a dear friend of mines calls them a Transitional chick…

Blah blah

September 13th, 2011
1:48 pm

@Jake- Yeah very true, I was very fugged up in the head and my confidence was shot, one more reason I am heading back to the gym. I am disciplined enough to get into great shape in a matter of 2-3 months. Once I get there, then I can go out with confidence. I have a plan and I have the drive to get there, so I am good.

Blah blah

September 13th, 2011
1:49 pm

My lifetime is mountain brook I am in there roughly 2 hours a day and love it.

kimmie

September 13th, 2011
1:50 pm

SCool – Your 12:20, same here. Hang out with the girls on occasion or to grab a drink or listen to some music, that’s all.

Blah – Yeah, when you feel up to it, find some other fun activity to get involved in that is more co-ed. Sounds like a nice trip you are about to take, by the way. You are in the prime of your life, make the most of it. The ex will live to regret it, trust!

Leggs

September 13th, 2011
1:53 pm

Trust, Blah Blah. Kimmie is on point!!!

Blah blah

September 13th, 2011
1:54 pm

But I gotta get back to work, so I’ll leave with this, due to being in a marriage where I was obviously a second thought, I won’t just be an option to a girl in dating, I won’t date a juggler, not worth it, and if they are doing that then they will hide the truth or juggle the time that they would spend with me and that is unacceptable. I view someone that is dating multiple people as someone that will be prone to cheat. Not going to happen with me.

i'm swiss™

September 13th, 2011
1:56 pm

Speaking of Lifetime… Here’s a brief PSA regarding gym locker room etiquette:

Attention gym-goers (particularly my people and old, Asian men): Please, please, please, for the sake of all that is right and good on this earth, PUT ON A GOT D@MN TOWEL when you’re strolling your azz around the locker room. Nobody wants to see that sh!t. Thank you.

That is all.

Sassy Me...In it to Win it ;-)

September 13th, 2011
2:00 pm

Nobody wants to see that sh!t. Thank you.

:lol:

I notice that as well in the women’s locker room on occasion…but I’m sure you wouldn’t have a problem with that huh, Swiss? ;-)

Lady Strange

September 13th, 2011
2:02 pm

Oh I understand that some men won’t date a woman with a kid(s). Came across it a lot when I was dating. Best to find out ahead of time and save us both the time/energy. And no, it’s not easy for the person coming in to a relationship with someone who has kids. I just don’t like the term baggage. :) I prefer to think of my son as a bonus, cause he’s an awesome little kid.

I’m lucky to have found an awesome man who wants us to be a family. It’s a struggle to make it all mesh together, but it’s worth it. There are good men out there, single ladies take a look around. Mr. Right might be right in front of you. Give those nice guys a chance :)

Leggs

September 13th, 2011
2:03 pm

I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if I’m walking around strange women nekkid.

i'm swiss™

September 13th, 2011
2:04 pm

“I notice that as well in the women’s locker room on occasion…but I’m sure you wouldn’t have a problem with that huh, Swiss?”

Sassy — I don’t really want to see any flabby, old white or Asian puddy, either. Now if you want to walk around butt-nekkid, I won’t complain… ;-) :lol:

Mo (aka Moeisha)

September 13th, 2011
2:08 pm

Afternoon All!

Thanks for the B-day Wishes Leggs (just in case you didnt get my email)!

So whats good Party People?

Leggs

September 13th, 2011
2:09 pm

@LadyStrange, I’m happy for you. I’m gonna stand on the highway with my handmade cardboard sign, dressed to the nines (so they won’t think I’m homeless) smiling broadly “LOOKING FOR A GOOD MAN!!!!”

That should get me some attention (besides APD).

Leggs

September 13th, 2011
2:13 pm

Jake: Sweet Peeda Jeeda, TWB

September 13th, 2011
2:13 pm

Happy Bday Mo…where you celebrating

Sassy Me...In it to Win it ;-)

September 13th, 2011
2:19 pm

I don’t really want to see any flabby, old white or Asian puddy, either.

Hell that makes two of us Swiss..I should’ve been a little clearer in/with my post. I didn’t mean old white or Asian tail perse but just the fact that some of the women at the gym walk around the locker room like they’re alone or at home alone. Smart azz!! ;-)

Sassy Me...In it to Win it ;-)

September 13th, 2011
2:21 pm

Happy B’earthday Mo…where you celebrating

So umm where the party at?!

i'm swiss™

September 13th, 2011
2:24 pm

:lol: @ Sassy. Yeah, I called out my people and Asians in particular because those seem to be the worst offenders. I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing or what. Then again, I’m about as white as it gets, and I know to put on a d@mn towel. Of course, I do like to walk around butt-nekkid — just not around other dudes. :lol:

Casual observer

September 13th, 2011
2:29 pm

“I don’t really want to see any flabby, old white or Asian puddy, either.”

except Kathy Griffin and Margret Cho.. I would do a threesome with them….. (What?!?!?!)

Leggs

September 13th, 2011
2:30 pm

Mo, or have you already celebrated this past weekend?

Button

September 13th, 2011
2:31 pm

@ I’m a Swiss, the body is a beautiful thing, why cover it up? #imjustsaying

If I had it my way, I would walk around nekkid all day er’ day #thaisall

Fion

September 13th, 2011
2:32 pm

“I don’t really want to see any flabby, old white or Asian puddy, either
except Kathy Griffin and Margret Cho.. I would do a threesome with them….. (What?!?!?!)”

@ Casual
…..just asking, do you dream about Martha Stewart????????

……..

Casual observer

September 13th, 2011
2:36 pm

Fion, No…But if We happen to be at the same W hotel, and I saw her in thet lounge…..I might got to her suite and tel her to put them on the glass….. ( and hope the widow doesn not fall out…)

Leggs

September 13th, 2011
2:37 pm

Whatever you do, Casual observer, don’t write anything down for her (lol).

i'm swiss™

September 13th, 2011
2:37 pm

“the body is a beautiful thing, why cover it up?”

Um… not all bodies, Button.

And more to the point — it’s a locker room full of dudes. You might not mind seeing little beanie weenies everywhere you turn, but I can do without it, thanks. :lol:

MzNewy

September 13th, 2011
2:41 pm

Hey all! Just popping in really quick to weigh in on the topic…

Wow when men date with options, it seems to be cool but from reading up there, men look at women who have options as garden tools….what a double standard!!!!!

I am opposed to any one trying to be exclusive too quickly. So instead of calling it date juggling, call it “two friends hanging out”….and go dutch, he won’t feel like he is losing anything and she won’t feel like she owes him anything. Problem solved. :)

Mo (aka Moeisha)

September 13th, 2011
2:41 pm

Sorry All, got a lil tied up on a call!

Jake/Sassy/Leggs – Ummm, Im celebrating ALL month! :0) I mean, hell why not! Hitting some happy hours, brunches, trying to get my two-step-drop-it-like-its-hott on…you know…CELEBRATE!

Mo (aka Moeisha)

September 13th, 2011
2:42 pm

And thanks Sassy and Jake for the b-day wishes!

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 13th, 2011
2:49 pm

@ Leggs, I’ve walked around a bunch of strange women nekkid. Problem is I didn’t know they were strange until later after the “nekkid” ;-) (and yes, I have a t-shirt or two saying “who is that woman I thought I knew but obviously didn’t before we got nekkid???”

Leggs

September 13th, 2011
2:49 pm

Tell us where you be sometime and we’ll stop by and have a bday drink with you. Shucks, even buy YOU one (lol)…

Leggs

September 13th, 2011
2:51 pm

Laughing at you, Randyt. You didn’t know they were strange because you were too quick to meet their puddy and not them! :wink:

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 13th, 2011
2:51 pm

Last was for Sassy, sorry.

Leggs

September 13th, 2011
2:54 pm

Doesn’t matter, still laughing.

Mo (aka Moeisha)

September 13th, 2011
2:54 pm

Alright Leggs! Thank you chica! I will sure keep you posted.

LOL @ Randyt

Sassy Me...In it to Win it ;-)

September 13th, 2011
2:54 pm

Randy were/are you a dancer?…j/k..bnr

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 13th, 2011
3:04 pm

no Sassy, just didn’t know they were strange until tooooooo late.

Sassy Me...In it to Win it ;-)

September 13th, 2011
3:08 pm

Wow Randy…hope they didn’t make you second guess yourself in the morning..

Button

September 13th, 2011
3:26 pm

who is that woman I thought I knew but obviously didn’t before we got nekkid???” @Raaaaandyt, neva mind :lol: