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Dating the date juggler?

My friend David met a really great girl but he has already decided to move on. He found out that she is “in demand” and gets asked out quite a lot. Apparently, this is a deal breaker?

I asked him why would he give up so easily. He’s no slouch and he could easily “compete” for her affections. He said that he is no interested in doing so. Call it ego, or just knowing he has a boatload of options himself. He doesn’t date the date juggler.

I am not sure how he knows how many guys the young girl was seeing. I wonder why do we need to be the only one a person is dating? If you are single and exploring your options, should you really be penalized for that?

How many prospects should you try to take on at one time in dating?

Would it bother you if you went out with someone and you were their second date or meet up of the day?

Do you think a single person who juggles a bunch of dates is a deal breaker?

What do you do if you are seeing someone you connect with and you want them to drop their other options? Is it fair to ask that they stop seeing other people when you aren’t sure that you want to be exclusive with them?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

280 comments Add your comment

Blah blah

September 13th, 2011
11:47 am

I have no problem dating a woman with kids personally, I have done it before and I will most likey do it again, I did everything I could to get ready for a family before I got divorced, got a good job, bought a house, got rid of my nice 2 door car, and bought a family vehicle, etc. etc. Just cause a girl has kids doesn’t mean they shouldn’t date or something like that. However once you get stable and you get dependable, and get safe, I think that is a turn off for women in general, they seem to want to date men that are arrogant and cocky and full of themselves.

Button

September 13th, 2011
11:48 am

WOW abc you would’ve NEVER had the opportunity to talk to my child like that because there is no way in hayel someone who grew in me would disrespect an adult on any level. I know there are some bad azz kids out there and when you’re dating you should know what you’re getting into that’s why meeting the kids or at least asking questions early on is always important. If I date a guy and he’s not talking about his kids then I know I’m dealing with a sorry excuse of a dad and I will NOT go forward with him. Men should do the same. ASK questions!!!! You know when you’re dealing with a sorry azz parent!

Jake: Sweet Peeda Jeeda, TWB

September 13th, 2011
11:49 am

abc…good answer, I just through that out there everybody getting on “the my kids ain’t baggage bus”, cause that’s a dayum lie. Its a serious factor in dating, yes there are very honorable men who will step in and help you raise a child, but if you don’t think a man or woman for that matter has to think twice about that decision, you arre foolin yourself…children are wonderful little miracles, but they can also sabotage potential relationships. Should you accept someone who won’t accept your children, hell no, but know that it reduces your pool. Yea, honesty is bi*5ch.

Exiled!

September 13th, 2011
11:50 am

Blah blah?

I don’t know which bars u frequent where u find man mostly. Mt experience tells me it’s the other way round.

U are divorced,have u been getting around much lately?

In Atlanta? No way buddy unless u live in the sticks somewhere outside of a major city.

Men do get rejected,that’s true, But there is more Female fish in that pond, trust me.

If one don’t bite,don’t worry. Soon enough another or two,maybe three will be clinging to your draws!

Happy hunting bro! There is plenty females out there to make u not to even worry bout a thang!

Button

September 13th, 2011
11:50 am

Blah B says “they seem to want to date men that are arrogant and cocky and full of themselves.” that’s a lie at least for healthy mature adults. I personally don’t know any woman man or monkey for that matter who would date a person who is arrogant/cocky or a narcissist!

SlimUno

September 13th, 2011
11:51 am

I recall when my mom got remarried and I had an issue with my stepdad coming in trying to change things. I vividly remember telling him he was not my daddy…but in my case, I had a dad that I saw often but anyway, stepdad and I ended up getting into it. lol

SexyCool

September 13th, 2011
11:54 am

TheDude and one of his friends were talking about a chick who the friend had met that said that she “didn’t come with a whole lotta baggage.” Buddy was like, “Yeah…but that one bag she came with was about to bust at the seams.”

(I thought that was funny.)

D Dub of the MSP (formerly D Dub of the ATL)

September 13th, 2011
11:54 am

“I think that is a turn off for women in general, they seem to want to date men that are arrogant and cocky and full of themselves.” – and these dudes move on to the next chick quicker than a groupie at a NBA All-Star game.

Jake: Sweet Peeda Jeeda, TWB

September 13th, 2011
11:55 am

Hey Slim…thanks for the assist..with your bad disrespectful tail…lol.

Button

September 13th, 2011
11:57 am

Men wearing drawrs now :lol:

abc

September 13th, 2011
11:57 am

In general, a bar or nightclub that doesn’t have 65% women is probably about to go out of business.

I had to deal with a belligerent teen of a girlfriend once before. I tried to cut him some slack, his father had passed away. But, I don’t have much patience for crap like that. I got enough belligerence out of my own kids.

kimmie

September 13th, 2011
11:58 am

Blah Blah – Maybe the women YOU seem to deal with, but any grown a–, mature woman is not going to be turned off by a man that has it together.

You need to either upgrade your selection process or you really are not all you claim to be.

Blah blah

September 13th, 2011
11:59 am

@Exiled
I live up in Woodstock and since I am on call 24/7 for my job it prevents me from traveling too far away, but yes if you go into bars up here there are far more men than women.
@Button
I have seen guys be nice, I have done it myself, “nice guys finish last” very well known. I tried being a jerk a few times and yes I cut women off when they were trying to say something, I treated them like objects and I was generally a bad guy, and I have to say it works, but I don’t want a girl that is into guys like that, I mearly did it as an experiment. Finding a good girl is not as easy as you think and to go back the original conversation, I will not be a date juggler nor will I date one, and I will not act like a jerk just to get laid, it’s not worth my time or money.

Exiled!

September 13th, 2011
12:00 pm

If u date somebody with kids already it means u starting off scratch with baggage,let’s face it. That’s the truth.

How u deal with that real lyfe baggage and how ‘it’ responds to u,the newcomer, is the key!

Some mothers or fathers just don’t raise their kids well. So tread carefully!

Button

September 13th, 2011
12:00 pm

I’m thinking the same thing Kimmie @ Blah Blah

Exiled!

September 13th, 2011
12:00 pm

Blah blah?

no wonder why ur argument.

SexyCool

September 13th, 2011
12:04 pm

If you believe that women have more options than men, then you’re right. If you believe that men have more options that women, then you’re right too.

It’s about what you believe more than what it actually fact. Because we behave according to what we believe. You know, the whole “perception is reality” deal.

Blah blah

September 13th, 2011
12:05 pm

@Kimmie
You very well could be right, on all accounts, it very well could be my selection of women and it could be that there is something wrong with me. It could be that I have low self esteem, it could be all of the above, I am only recently divorced and I never cheated or anything like that, I did get cheated on though. I haven’t dated in 5 years, I am still new to it all over again, and dating at 30 is a huge difference than dating at 25 and straight out of the military.

abc

September 13th, 2011
12:06 pm

Blah, most of the people in bars in Woodstock are couples, the male/female ratio is moot. ‘Course, I only go in them to sit in with one of my kids’ rock band, but — they don’t seem to me to be anyplace to meet anyone you’d really like to know. Lots of single moms in Woodstock, tennis and soccer mom types, and they’re not barflies. I mean, where would you go, anyway? Pure sucks; Bogey’s, meh; The Place, Just A Bar, etc., man, if not for making my kid’s gigs, you couldn’t pay me to go to those dives.

Button

September 13th, 2011
12:06 pm

A bar where there’s more men than women? I’m in! :lol:

kimmie

September 13th, 2011
12:08 pm

Some mothers or fathers just don’t raise their kids well. So tread carefully!

Exiled – Absolutely!

Exiled!

September 13th, 2011
12:13 pm

Woodstock is up on I-75?

Blah blah,come down to Atlanta some weekends.

Have fun and get around

U will open ur eyes some.

kimmie

September 13th, 2011
12:13 pm

When I was dating the last place I would go is a nightclub or bar. There are just so many better options available. It’s better to meet someone while doing something you love, like running, cooking classes, community activities, martial arts classes,etc.

I see some nice-looking single fathers coaching soccer and little league and at school or community functions. If I were still in the market, that is where I’d be looking, especially if I were a parent.

Celisea

September 13th, 2011
12:14 pm

WOW to today’s discussion. Guess it just depends on your agenda and where you’re heading. Heading nowhere is easy…do whateva you feel. Trying to get somewhere then yes there should be some structure, rhyme & reason to what you’re wanting to get accomplished.

SexyCool

September 13th, 2011
12:20 pm

When I was single, I went out to nightclubs and bars, but not with the specific purpose of meeting someone. I went to have fun with my friends or as I got older, I would go find a spot at the bar to order my favorite adult beverage.

Exiled!

September 13th, 2011
12:26 pm

Welcome to the blog Blah blah

(Leggs ain’t here to preside)

I hope our blog single ladies will reach out to him.

He’s got a job,just came outa the military and I’m sure he’s got a decent car. Fine man at 30, that’s young!

Be sure to post ur email add in here Blah so the ladies know where to reach you.

He needs a blog vest by the way.

Welcome to the neat market!

Blah blah

September 13th, 2011
12:27 pm

I will take that under consideration, I would love to go to atlanta more often, I have to wait until mid-november though, I am saving my money for the cruise I am taking to St. Martin, and St. Thomas, going with friends, second cruise, it may not be a great place to meet a girl to date but it’s great fun.

Exiled!

September 13th, 2011
12:27 pm

Meet(meat) market!

Blah blah

September 13th, 2011
12:28 pm

@Exiled, sorry guys, didn’t mean to take over the conversation, I never get on these things, I just saw a article that cuaght my attention.

Exiled!

September 13th, 2011
12:32 pm

Blah

u good u need a hood girl right?

Reality

September 13th, 2011
12:33 pm

Most of the folks who I hear lamenting the lack of datable individuals, male or female, are usually fairly undesirable themselves.

D Dub of the MSP (formerly D Dub of the ATL)

September 13th, 2011
12:36 pm

“Most of the folks who I hear lamenting the lack of datable individuals, male or female, are usually fairly undesirable themselves.”

@Reality – BOOM!

SexyCool

September 13th, 2011
12:36 pm

I’m going to need all of my hoodrat, retarded-acting, no class having young cousins with no filter to stay they asses off FB.

Praise be to WhiteGeezus that FB was not around when I was young, dumb and had no filter.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 13th, 2011
12:41 pm

@ abc, been to all those places in Woodstock. Came alone, left alone. The only one I saw that was interesting was with her husband. Interesting fantasy, but no future there.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 13th, 2011
12:44 pm

I never was good at the bar scene anyway. I can speak in front of a crowd of hundreds with no problem. I can start a converstion one on one in a grocery store or an elevator, easy. but when it comes to walking up to a group I don’t know and trying to introduce myself to one of the gals…I can’t do it. Some courtesy issue inside or something.

Sassy Me...In it to Win it ;-)

September 13th, 2011
12:45 pm

Praise be to WhiteGeezus that FB was not around when I was young, dumb and had no filter.

For real right?! There are even some adults who post everything they’re doing or some who put ALL of their business on blast in hopes of tryna make someone else look bad but it usually backfires.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 13th, 2011
12:47 pm

Blah blah, there is always Johnny’s Hideaway in Buckhead. Just be careful to leave before daylight ;-)

Leggs

September 13th, 2011
12:47 pm

Seems like I’m missing a good one today. One thing I’m not is a dating juggler. I couldn’t string multiple dudes along. At some point, I would start feeling guilty and making up stuff as to why I can’t spend time with a particular person.

@Ex ~ thank you for being so gracious by putting out the welcome mat!

Leggs

September 13th, 2011
12:49 pm

Speaking about bars, I sure wish Dugans was a better spot to hang out.

SexyCool

September 13th, 2011
12:50 pm

I just made one of my younger cousins take an explicit post off her page. And I don’t mean teenaged, I mean damn near 30…with one of her kids as one of her FB friends.

Talking about what she needed and how she needed it and asking was anyone going to help her. I wanted to say, “Btch, is you back on drugs?!?!”

SlimUno

September 13th, 2011
12:58 pm

SC – Daaaaaamn, you kicking arse and taking names i see :lol:

Sassy Me...In it to Win it ;-)

September 13th, 2011
1:00 pm

I sure wish Dugans was a better spot to hang out.

Leggs have you been to the new one off of Old Nat.l? It’s always full and lots of people to watch. The dj is pretty good,too..

czBrat

September 13th, 2011
1:02 pm

SC, i have a niece in her 30s like that. she also has a kid on FB. not only posting inappropriate things but constantly blasting fam if anyone fails to cow to her every whim. since she insisted she can do as she pleases on her page, i just had to unfriend her.

and she wonders why she feels no luv at family gatherings.

oneofeach4me

September 13th, 2011
1:07 pm

@Blah Blah, you could also try The Graveyard Tavern in East Atl if you like a melting pot crowd. I live in Kennesaw and got EXTREMELY tired of the “night life” (or lack there of) scene in that area. Same old faces every single time. I don’t go out very often, but when I do… that is where I head to. Good luck! 30 is still young!

Blah blah

September 13th, 2011
1:09 pm

oneofeach4me I will have to check out that place

SexyCool

September 13th, 2011
1:10 pm

I messaged her and told her that there is not anything wrong with having grown woman needs and wanting it real and raw. However, she needs to keep it ladylike in the streets and that she needs to keep all that hoe sht behind close doors and unlike folks who don’t give a crap, I would tell her directly instead of talking about her behind her back.

At least she listened and took it down.

oneofeach4me

September 13th, 2011
1:10 pm

@Randy ~ let the girl approach you in the club. Or, if she makes any kind of eye contact for longer than 5 seconds, basically long enough to keep staring even though she knows you are looking, make a move. It can be walking by her with a slight touch on her lower back to get her attention. Then ask her to follow you a little to the side so you don’t have to talk to her friends AND her. You seem like a good dude.. I am sure it would work for you if you try it.

SexyCool

September 13th, 2011
1:11 pm

Blah Blah – what other social activities do you participate in? What are your hobbies? Favorite pasttimes?

Blah blah

September 13th, 2011
1:14 pm

Poker, working out, yard work, I used to skydive but my ex wife cheated on me in the plane we were married in, so I haven’t been back there since, I am looking to get an old muscle car to rebuild. Mostly just work recently though.

SexyCool

September 13th, 2011
1:15 pm

” my ex wife cheated on me in the plane we were married in,”

Damn…