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Would you convert for love?

As if dating isn’t tricky enough, many of us have to figure how to handle differences in religion. If religion is important to you, it is a great idea to find out if you there are any conflicts in beliefs.

I have watched a lot of couples struggle with a difference in religions and sometimes it is something they can’t really get past. I think things are a lot easier when one converts to the religion of their mate. Is it too much to ask someone to do, though?

Would you ever date someone who had different religious beliefs? Would you dump someone because of it?

Have you ever thought about converting to a different religion for the sake of a relationship? Would you be opposed to it?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

215 comments Add your comment

Ron

September 12th, 2011
6:53 am

Why not? Religion is nothing more than a person that acts like they are a true believer on Sunday and a heathen the rest of the week. Religion is nothing more than an organized Ponzi scheme. Live you life on your own two feet and make your own path. Praying will not get you there.

BC

September 12th, 2011
7:19 am

Whoa. Ron! Blanket statement. It’s sad that religion has gotten this far that most people look at belief as a Ponzi scheme. It’s not that way for everyone.

I hope you find some people who actually live the life they claim to be. I’ve never had a problem of belief in God along with belief in work, but again, that’s me.

A few years ago I dated woman who was agonostic. No issues until we started getting closer and she started to freak out about my family trying to convert her, before she even met the fam. She began freaking out about future kids also. Then she started to belittle my beliefs and the fact that I would pray from time to time. Needless to say, it was time to go in another direction.

I think two people who want to make it work can make it work, along as there is a mutual respect for each others’ values. Having children and total family acceptance for some people is important. I wouldn’t jump in if you had those reservations.

George Costanza

September 12th, 2011
7:21 am

I once converted to Latvian Orthodox for a woman.

Elliot Garcia

September 12th, 2011
7:25 am

This is a very important topic that couples should discuss before they get married. I feel that having two religions becomes confusing for children. I will continue to pray for you, Ron!

Downtown Heffa

September 12th, 2011
7:32 am

Morning ya’ll!
I’m not religious; however, I’m spiritual. Therefore, I’m not tied to a certain religion, but the base of my spirituality is God. I’ve been baptist, methodist, pentecostal, and a member of a non-denomination congregation. My partner was a unitarian universalist. So, I guess our household is ecumenical, right?

Hesalive

September 12th, 2011
7:47 am

Jesus is lord. He rose from the dead to prove it, and one day He’ll rule over a new heaven and a new earth, to be populated by those who have loved him and followed Him here on earth. Going through the motions just doesn’t cut it.

Jeff

September 12th, 2011
8:05 am

As long as I can still go to strip clubs and the liquor store, why not?

Jan

September 12th, 2011
8:09 am

No, I would not convert for anyone, my religion is too important to me. I knew this when I was in my 20’s so I made the conscience decision to only date men who shared who shared my faith. It wasn’t long after that I met my husband. Marriage with all its challenges is hard enough without throwing different religions into the mix. We have been married for 24 years and most of them have been wonderful. I feel that coming from the same place spiritually has helped my marriage succeed. All this started with a decision I made in my 20’s because I was sure of my faith. Others make different decisions and I respect that, but this is what worked for me.

katz

September 12th, 2011
8:19 am

It’s about values, not religion. I will not convert, but I have no problem participating in those aspects of her religion that are important to my spouse. If a couple doesn’t share the same values regarding finance, child rearing, connection with family, support of each others goals, recreational interests, foods, fidelity, etc., then having the same religious affiliations won’t help.

Exiled!

September 12th, 2011
8:23 am

Unless u are all pseudo Christians or pseudo Moslems,I don’t see how 2 people from different religions can be together in luv in the first place!
Because your religion must truly define who u are.

I also have problems with some of these bling Baptists. Coz some of them don’t really know God. They know their pastors! :lol:

That would make it hard for me,a United Methodist,to date a Baptist,unless she is truly independent and sequestrated from her pastor! :lol:

Roman Catholic? I am not even touching that one!

I have a young son.

Exiled!

September 12th, 2011
8:25 am

Oh, Good morning folks!

Into the Light

September 12th, 2011
8:34 am

Good morning, all!

Would you ever date someone who had different religious beliefs? Would you dump someone because of it?

Depends on how different. I would not consider converting to Judaism or Islam, nor would I or could I be with an agnostic or atheist.

Bobby

September 12th, 2011
8:36 am

Religion is important in a relationship. While you can co-exist with a partner of a different religious beliefs things such as child rearing have to be decided in advance. I was a Southern Baptist the first 55 years of my life before switching to Lutheran. I could date/marry a Baptist or Roman Catholic but if there were any children I would want them involved in a more Christ centered denomination as opposed to a political church which is what both the SBC and RC have become. I don’t have a problem dating/marrying a member of the Jewish faith as long as they are not Orthodox. Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, or any others I can deal with as friends but not in any kind of a family relationship.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 12th, 2011
8:41 am

I’m fortunate enough to go to a church that recognizes that people aren’t perfect and that is a good thing for me. There are many churchs out here, maybe most, that give church a bad rap. But at the end of the day, I learned something a few years ago that puts religion in perspective. It is a reality that when we run away from something, we run TO something else. A rational person has to decide if what he/she is running TO is better or worse. Do I believe in all religious dogma…no, and get as angry as the next person at pseudo-Christians. However do I believe that a wild, care only for me life thinking only of me, brings happiness…no to that too. At the end of the day, the calming effect of believing that life goes on is enough for me and that is what I choose.

Casual observer

September 12th, 2011
8:46 am

man…How good with the coochie have to be to get a guy to change his God??? She would really have to be AMAZING to pull that one off….

Tired Out

September 12th, 2011
8:48 am

Bobby – This is why I stick to the independent Baptist churches. Whenever you start giving men and women power and control, it is sure to corrupt.

Ron – I’m sorry that your experience has led you to that belief. There are quite a few believers out here who don’t view religion as a “Ponzi” scheme. We actually believe in Christ as the head of the church, and try our best to follow his teachings.

Personally, I would not change religion for a relationship. The moment you become willing to switch religions for another person, you prove that your faith was never that strong to begin with. I was raised in a family where my Mom took me to church, but my Dad stayed home. After a while, he started going again, and even now holds position in the church. The strength of everyone’s faith wavers at times, but to willingly, and seemingly easily put off that faith for another, just to be with someone, is a gross abuse of faith, and a slap in the face of whatever God or god/gods you follow. Just my opinion.

dc

September 12th, 2011
8:48 am

Denomination is fine…but religion? Not a chance. If you do, then imo you really never believed it yourself. Probably just were following it because of being raised in it.

Leggs

September 12th, 2011
8:55 am

Good morning. What a beautiful weekend we had.

I am spiritual in my belief that God is my saviour. I doubt that I would convert. One thing I do know, is I would never date an atheist. I would like my mate to attend church with me. Preferrably every Sunday, but that’s not sealed in concrete. To worship and love God doesn’t dictate you do this in church. It can be in the corner of your closet if you like. Your time talking with God can be done anywhere, IMO.

OMC

September 12th, 2011
8:58 am

I can not be part of a relationship where she believes any of those fairy tales.

Into the Light

September 12th, 2011
9:13 am

SN to Leggs: I read the compiled chronicle Friday night after I got home. Just…wow!! :) I was proud of us.

Mr_NYC

September 12th, 2011
9:14 am

Tough question. No I would not change. Saw it posted but can’t seem to find it — I think it was stated taht religion defines who you are — correct if I’m worng. My question: is that really so? Is it the religion or the faith and one’s values? IMO, religion is just the outward expression of one’s faith. Does one necessarily have to be “churched” or tied to a denomination to have standards? Some tend to equate the two and appraise an individual as if membership bestows values and lack of membership means one is not worthy.
No stance here just an observation.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 12th, 2011
9:14 am

On topic: I have had several opportunites to date outside my religion and decided that I would not go there. I tended to look down the road and recognized the obstacles it would have eventually caused. I was contacted a number of times on Match by really attractive women of the Jewish faith, and it was tempting, but it would have caused problems eventually.

Mr_NYC

September 12th, 2011
9:15 am

And Breaking Bad concludes with a WWE grudge match between Jesse and Mr. White – didn’t see that coming.

Black Nonbelievers of Atlanta

September 12th, 2011
9:16 am

Religion is something that can be a deal breaker sometimes. Especially when you put a believer and nonbeliever together. We don’t support converting or coercing someone to believe or not to believe. That has to be a personal choice of that person. Looking ahead to the future, you would have to ask yourself, how would the children be raised? How would holidays be observed? Sometimes, “beleiving for booty” can backfire. Be yourself, discuss believing or nonbelieving early, save hurt feelings and crushed dreams later. Check us out at http://www.blacknonbelievers.org.

Tired Out

September 12th, 2011
9:16 am

Leggs – Completely agreed with your last statement. In fact, God wants us to talk to him, and not just to ask stuff for ourselves or other people. That’s the intimate relationship part. People will set down and talk to their friends or their family, and talk about nothing at all, but when it comes to God, too many people only call on him when they need something, or when it is convenient for them.

Lady Strange

September 12th, 2011
9:16 am

No, I would not change for anyone. I would not get in to a relationship with someone who was very religious. I was raised Roman Catholic but chose my own path 20 years ago. Luckily, religion isn’t an issue for me and my BF.

SlimUno - Blue you're my boy & i miss u

September 12th, 2011
9:17 am

Good morning

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 12th, 2011
9:17 am

@ Mr NYC good analysis. Being a church member does not bestow goodness on a person. Nor does it demand a standard of lifestyle, that has to come from within. In the end it is just an open expression of an inward search for truth, hope, and a belief that there is more.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 12th, 2011
9:22 am

@ Tired Out…yeah, to many if not most, God is like a fire alarm…use only in case of emergency.

Leggs

September 12th, 2011
9:30 am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MO!!!

@ITL ~ yeah it was pretty good Friday. Pretty sure a lot enjoyed it and many sat back in the cut tsking, tsking!

@TiredOut/Randyt ~ I have to agree with you. It’s not good to call on God in emergencies. I sit and thank him just because I’m appreciative for everything in my life. The good, as well as the bad. It has certainly helped to define my character.

czBrat

September 12th, 2011
9:39 am

HiYas!

my faith is far too important to compromise. if i have to choose between my God and my man, well, there’s really no point in even raising that comparison. i was surprised to find out that my daughter’s beau is jewish. but, as they put it, he and his family are not “practicing” jews and they do believe Christ is the messiah. sooooo ???

OT: will someone in blogsville please hook me up with a loaded, smooth xterra for a sweet, low price? no? guess i better get back to car shopping. *sigh*

katz

September 12th, 2011
9:39 am

I’ve found that women with deity(s)and related rituals are more often less principled than those without. Furthermore, observation strongly suggests that the more restrictive the imposed morality, the looser one will find the women. If you’re a horny guy, pay attention to signals from that married hot woman at church/temple.

Into the Light

September 12th, 2011
9:40 am

Meh…I don’t mind being tsk-tsked. Wouldn’t be the first time, and I am certain it won’t be the last….

If you’re frisky and you know it, clap your hands…. :lol:

Leggs

September 12th, 2011
9:43 am

{{clapping}}…

abc

September 12th, 2011
9:46 am

It’d be a deal breaker for me. One can’t make a covenant before God if one or the other doesn’t believe in God. I’d imagine that it’s the same for other religions.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 12th, 2011
9:53 am

@ ITL…I read once that an “agnostic” is just an atheist without the strength of his convictions.

abc

September 12th, 2011
10:03 am

Tell you what though, I’m a steadfast Christian, but I can’t stand going to church.

Church in the South (if not the whole country, or the whole planet) seems to me a place for people to demonstrate their self-righteousness and hypocrisy. Their judgementalism comes to the fore. Some are genuinely concerned that they don’t feel the spirit — they ask, “how can you tell if the spirit is in you?” Pretty sad.

So, I don’t go to church, I gave up on it. I have my own personal relationship with God, and it’s fine. If a chick insisted that I go to church with her for some social reasons — and tellin ya, the church folks don’t really want to make friends, they just want to clique up — that’d be a deal breaker for me, too.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 12th, 2011
10:08 am

I was probably 16 or so before I believed at all in a diety. My mom and stepfather made me go to Sunday school but they didn’t go themselves, so it wasn’t an expression of faith on their parts, just getting privacy. Crappy frankly. That said, where I started believing in a God and an afterlife, was of all places, in a Biology class. The textbook started a chapter with a discussion about a bird that flys into a window and breaks its neck. The mass is the same before and after, but something called “life” was gone. When I started musing about what is “Life”, it led me to believe that not all things are chemical and physical…there was and is something more. that was confirmed to me years later when I saw the ultrasound of my first child. Then through the my children, I saw something more…a living THINKING human being and I knew that the body could die, but there is something called a soul that could not be explained in any book, Stephen Hawking nonwithstanding.

And then, as I said before, I realized that even believing in nothing is believing in something. God seemed like the best choice for me, in good times and bad. I can’t buy that one can have an explosion in a metal factory and the pieces all come down to form a Dell laptop computer…without some kind of divine explanation, then I can’t see a soul, nor can I see randomness. Just can’t.

just me

September 12th, 2011
10:28 am

My husband was raised Christian, I was raised Muslim. This has never been an issue. Very early on in our 20s we realized that there were WAY more similarities in our religious beliefs than differences. It was amazing that folks, much older than us, couldn’t see that. To this day, we respect each other and each other’s beliefs and its never been an issue. One of the benefits is its never a question of where we going to spend Xmas, Easter, etc. He supports me when I fast for Ramadan, participates in the feast afterwards. What do we tell our daughter? Just like with everything else in our life, we tell her everything that we know. She’ll get to choose later when she’s ready, or maybe she won’t choose at all. Fine with us.

abc

September 12th, 2011
10:31 am

Belief in God isn’t really a choice you can make. Once presented with the information, you either do, or you don’t. The only thing that can bring a person to God is God Himself, and he doesn’t call everybody. I guess I’m somewhat Calvinist in my perspective on that.

God brought you to him through a biology book and your kids, Randy. It’s a good thing.

SexyCool

September 12th, 2011
10:31 am

If a person cannot be faithful to their God (by whatever name they call him or however they have chosen to practice their religion), how can you expect them to be faithful to you?

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 12th, 2011
10:36 am

@ just me..good post. Several years ago I went to a church series that explored the roots of Christianity, Judaism. and the Muslim religion. I was surprised to learn that they all trace their roots back to the Biblical Abraham. We all came from the same religious tree.

SexyCool

September 12th, 2011
10:37 am

I really don’t get Stephen Hawking. At all.

abc

September 12th, 2011
10:39 am

While one can say that Abrahamaic religions share the same God, one can’t say that they’re all correct.

Muslims consider Ishmael Abraham’s first born son, with rights to Israel going to him. Christians and Jews consider Isaac to be Abraham’s first born. Christians consider Jesus the Messiah, and Jews don’t. Pretty major differences.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 12th, 2011
10:40 am

@ Sexy Cool, I’ve tried several times to work through Hawking’s “A Brief History of the Universe” but even at an elementary level, quantom physics is still a mystery to me. Unless I get sucked into a black hole before I die (which in my industry is known as getting sent to Portsmouth Ohio), I can’t grasp it.

Casual observer

September 12th, 2011
10:41 am

I am glad religion works for some….but for me….I think I will pass on the “Guy in the Sky”…. I understand the moral presentation, but ur..ummmm….No..Not buying it… Have dated women of most religions and been able to have honest debates about it, and I can say with a high degree of certainty, that I could see myself spending my life with at least a couple of them as long as they respect my not believing as much as I respect their right to believe…..

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

September 12th, 2011
10:42 am

@ abc…yep, major differences, no question. Just mentioning the roots were the same.

Casual observer

September 12th, 2011
10:46 am

“The only thing that can bring a person to God is God Himself, and he doesn’t call everybody.”

So are you saying that God is picking those that will be saved and everybody else can literally go to hell???

abc

September 12th, 2011
10:48 am

Yep. Blunt, but true.

Into the Light

September 12th, 2011
10:50 am

LOL@Randyt and the agnostic comment.