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Dating: Do you ask about their finances?

What would you do if the person you are dating are showing signs of financial instability? Maybe you notice their lack of frugality or their excessive spending. Or maybe you are with them when their credit card was declined.

I read somewhere about a young woman who was on a first date with a guy and his card was declined. She didn’t judge him by this incident and they are now married. If she dumped him because of this embarrassing snafu, she could have thrown away her chance of happiness!

So what is the best approach in paying attention to your date’s money management? Is it something you should inquire about? If you notice something awry, do you bring it up?

Do you (or should you) ask about a person’s financial plan when you are dating? Should you wait until you are in a relationship to bring it up or would that be too late?

How important is it to date someone who is smart about money?

Just curious: What would you do if you went on a date and their credit card was declined?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

315 comments Add your comment

Simple Man....

September 8th, 2011
1:07 pm

1. When was the last time you bought wallpaper for the kitchen?*** Never…. Wall paper is sooooo 1970’s

2. When was the last time you shopped for curtains for the kitchen?**** They are now called window dressings and it was just within the last couple of weeks….( Had to get the new house ready for when I host one of my famous dinner parties!!! )

SlimNu…. Never that!!! My shoe closet is like the lounge at Benny’s shoes… Comfotable chairs and everything!!! :)

czBrat

September 8th, 2011
1:08 pm

hola WD. i’ll let you in on a little secret. you listening? come closer. closer. yeah, right there.
it’s boots like that that make THAT WALK. and that’s why we luv ‘em.

celisea, and you know you have a prob when you have to dump a stack of shoes in the salvation army bin in order to make room for the boxes ups is about to drop at your door. :(

czBrat

September 8th, 2011
1:12 pm

I personally don’t see anything wrong with dating a S.O. with bad credit and poor management with money.
oooh. see. now that there is a bit much for me. in my age range i can’t have “bad” credit and “poor” money skills going on. you and i should be enjoying an active social life and working toward a comfortable retirement; not practicing how to balance a checkbook and calling creditors to ask for payment plans. that was soooooo 20 years ago!!

Celisea

September 8th, 2011
1:14 pm

czBrat – Girl I’m there with you…lol Yeah moving pairs to make room is a lot of shoes!!

Leggs

September 8th, 2011
1:17 pm

@czB ~ no, I was talking about being “acquainted” with SimpleM. Couldn’t use the word “know,” cuz I don’t know him.

I have over 100+ shoes. I love shoes. But only own one pair of those lucite/plastic 5″ hooker shoes (lolol).

i'm swiss™

September 8th, 2011
1:20 pm

Howdy, folks.

Well d@mn. And I thought I was a bit on the excessive side with # of shoes for a dude, and I’ve only got about 10. Well, 12 if you count flip-flops.

1 pair of just casual sneakers
1 pair of running shoes
1 pair of “trail” running shoes
1 pair of tennis shoes
1 pair of basketball shoes
2 pairs of Doc Martens — 1 black, 1 brown
2 pairs of Sketchers — 1 mostly black, 1 mostly brown
1 pair of dress shoes, black.
1 pair of beach flip-flops
1 pair of adidas plastic sandals (for post-tennis match)

Those plastic adidas sandals, by the way, have split in half at the sole at least 3 times & I just keep crazy glue-ing those bad boys back together. :lol:

Purple Reign

September 8th, 2011
1:22 pm

No I don’t ask about finances. How she handles money will come to light sooner or later. If her car got declined on a date I would would have to ask myself why is she even paying for anything while with me in the first place.

czBrat

September 8th, 2011
1:23 pm

only own one pair of those lucite/plastic 5″ hooker shoes
if you use ‘em right one pair of hooker shoes is all you’ll ever need. LOL

gotta skip. i hear a pastrami reuben calling my name.

Leggs

September 8th, 2011
1:26 pm

O/T – just viewed pics of Chaz with his dance partner. Ever since Lacy came on the scene with DWTS, she has rubbed me the wrong way. She’s a camera hog and cheesy. With Chaz as her partner, she’s going to hog the limelight. I may be wrong, but I doubt it.

czBrat

September 8th, 2011
1:26 pm

celisea, between s/o and i we’ll have to convert a spare bedroom into a closet when we move in. this giving up my footwear due to lack of room is for the birds. i have shoe boxes stacked to the ceiling, wall-to-wall racks in three closets and more shoes stashed under a couple of beds. ugh. i think i just realized where my nest egg went?
(kidding!!!)

Button

September 8th, 2011
1:27 pm

ITL @12:19 -I get where you’re coming from but I was leaning more to point of if I told dude I shopped at Norstrom/Bloomingdale or Saks Fifth Ave weekly big ticketed items, then he would see me as a big spender and that might pose a problem on his end if he’s the frugal type.

Into the Light

September 8th, 2011
1:28 pm

Hey, Swiss! They’re not the ones with the nubby things inside, are they? Those give my feet the heebie-jeebies.

You and Swiss Mrs. gonna be in Athens on Saturday?

czBrat

September 8th, 2011
1:28 pm

perhaps when i get back we can move on to hats and bags :lol: (or in his case, cuff links and watches)

Willie Dynamite

September 8th, 2011
1:29 pm

Brat – alrighty then. Dayum you smell good, gonna havta put you on the dont talk to list like somebody else (smile).
Leggs – The hooka heels are perfect. They should neva eva eva touch the pavement. Indoor use only. Unless of course you have a patio/balcony etc for extra-curriculars.

Swiss – SimpMan excluded most men have functional pairs of shoes. We replace as needed based on wear/tear. Your list sounds about like my list. With the exception of a few pair of Chucks, Jordans and old schools.

Into the Light

September 8th, 2011
1:32 pm

Mmm, pastrami reuben. I might need to make a Goldberg’s run….

i'm swiss™

September 8th, 2011
1:33 pm

“They’re not the ones with the nubby things inside, are they?”

ITL — No, I hate those. Mine are just all plastic with the smooth sole. I can’t find the ones I have anymore — that’s why I keep the crazy glue handy. ;-)

No, won’t be in Athens. It’s opening week of ALTA, so I’ve got a match that morning. I’ll be staked out in front of the big screen, with meat on the grill & plenty of Jack Daniels on hand to console me. Last week didn’t give me much hope for the rest of the year.

czBrat

September 8th, 2011
1:33 pm

keep in mind that one can shop at nords & saks on the regular taking advantage of real deals on big ticket items. sometimes what you’re showing dude is that you know how to spend smart. just my .02.

brb

Leggs

September 8th, 2011
1:33 pm

Exactly czB! That and a feather boa (lol).

czBrat

September 8th, 2011
1:34 pm

ITL, i have a feeling we may be close. unless there’s another goldberg’s besides georgetown. :shock:

Button

September 8th, 2011
1:36 pm

You got that right czbrat! nothing like a great sale! IMO Macy’s #1! my only problem is that sometimes I can’t find anything good on the sales rack.

Into the Light

September 8th, 2011
1:36 pm

Swiss, I think I saw some at Kohls…. I think.

Last week was pretty depressing, for sure. We did something we NEVER do – left before the game was over. A lot of folks felt the same, bc MARTA was already packed. I’ll still be there to cheer them on, though….blood runs red and black, win or lose. I won’t be drinking JD, though. I’m battling a sinus infection and the doc said drink plenty of clear liquids, so I’ll have vodka tonics. :)

Lady~

September 8th, 2011
1:36 pm

Hey MIA Gang!

Into the Light

September 8th, 2011
1:37 pm

cz, we go to the one on West Paces, by OK Cafe.

Into the Light

September 8th, 2011
1:39 pm

Willie Dynamite

September 8th, 2011
1:49 pm

ITL- As a Gator Fan, I am fighting the urge to kick the puppies. Not really but it seemed like the right thing to say. For the record i’ll just say No comment and happily spend this cheese I won thanks to BSU Saturday.
Swiss – might I suggest a larger bottle of JD for you this weekend.

Into the Light

September 8th, 2011
1:52 pm

Not gonna spend some of that cheddar on new jorts, WD? :lol: I kid, I kid… you know I think you’re cool…for a Gator.

i'm swiss™

September 8th, 2011
1:53 pm

ITL — I guess I’m either a really loyal fan or a glutton for punishment, because I’ve never in my life left a game early, or even turned off a game early, regardless of the score. I’ll always either be there or be watching to support the team, no matter how bad it gets. Now, the coaches on the other hand…

Man, don’t even get me started on Bobo’s game plan for Boise. And, sadly, it doesn’t sound like he’s going be changing much for the Foghorn Leghorns. I just don’t understand how you can look at a roster whose 3 most glaring weaknesses/question marks are 1) an inexperienced offensive line, 2) unproven wide receivers and 3) a running back unaccustomed to pass protection & decide that your best option is to run no-huddle, shot-gun spread for 99% of the game. We’ve got 3 outstanding TEs, plus a 260lb converted TE at FB, a running back with plenty of natural running ability and an OL that is at least big, if not particularly good. So where were the multiple TE / power sets? Where were the toss sweeps w/ Figgins leading Crowell to the edge where he might actually find some space? I just don’t get it. But then I’m not a coach, so what do I know?

Willie Dynamite

September 8th, 2011
1:56 pm

ITl – see thats like the kid with the swollen eye and bloody nose throwing a rock. You aint right. Lol

kimmie

September 8th, 2011
1:56 pm

I weeded out a lot of my 150+ pairs of shoes when I moved. I gave quite a few pairs away and gave others to Goodwill. I think I may have gotten down below 100, but have bought about 10 pairs this summer.

So husband gets his electronics & games, I get my shoes & clothes. We’re all happy! :)

Leggs

September 8th, 2011
1:59 pm

@WillieD ~ yes sir, they will never touch pavement.

Into the Light

September 8th, 2011
2:00 pm

I’m with you, Swiss. That’s only the second time I’ve ever left early…and then only bc I didn’t want to be in the Dome all by lonesome.

Exact conversation we had Saturday night. I said it last year, and I’ll say it again – Bozo needs some help calling plays. Four…count ‘em…four times in a row we ran Crowell/Samuels up the middle. WTH is CMB thinking??? If at first, second, third you don’t succeed then try again??? Grrrr!

Into the Light

September 8th, 2011
2:03 pm

Fine, then, WD!! I’m gonna take my Nerf and go home…And quit laughing at my snot bubble!!! :lol:

Willie Dynamite

September 8th, 2011
2:03 pm

Kimmie – as a husband best day for me if when Wifey actually decides to weed thru the shoe collection and donate. The worst day is the next day when she plans and starts looking for the replacements. I already lost the battle for closet space. I am now proactive and set aside some $$$ to randomly hand her for shoes. Quiet as kept I found that if i give her shoe money ever so often I save in the long run on the splurges. Plus I like Hubby of the year cause i In tuned with her needs. hahaha

czBrat

September 8th, 2011
2:03 pm

Well whaddaya know. Never noticed all the goldbergs locations right here on the menu. Live n learn.

i'm swiss™

September 8th, 2011
2:06 pm

Willie D — Oh, I’ve already stocked up on the economy-sized bottles of JD. I’m prepared for whatever may come. :lol:

Leggs

September 8th, 2011
2:09 pm

O/T ~ to all the BBW fans. Evelyn is not coming back. She’s hot over an untruthful slur VH1 posted about her cheating on Ochocinco with T.O.

Willie Dynamite

September 8th, 2011
2:10 pm

Fellas – (PSA) pay attention to the conversation. When dating learn to ask the right questions and listen to the answer. If you enter into a relationship with a chick with a shoe fetish be prepared for the future. You will have to plan for closet space, sales, logistics and volunteer opportunites. Do like Swiss and at least get a new Grill out of it or maybe some electronics as a compromise. It is a losing battle so either K.I.M. or just prepare for it and save yourself the angst. Real talk!!!

Purple Reign

September 8th, 2011
2:14 pm

Everyone have their fantasy football line up together?

Leggs

September 8th, 2011
2:15 pm

Yep, that’s real talk

Button

September 8th, 2011
2:15 pm

@ Willie Dynamite you deserve a star on your crown with that comment!

Willie Dynamite

September 8th, 2011
2:22 pm

Purp – I totally forgot to set up the pickem for the blog.

Into the Light

September 8th, 2011
2:26 pm

“Mark Richt’s patience wearing thin….” Hmph. I know how he feels.

Is it open to everyone on the blog?? Girls, too?? :)

Leggs

September 8th, 2011
2:28 pm

I don’t understand real football, perhaps I’ll have a chance at this fantasy thingamajiggy thing.

Into the Light

September 8th, 2011
2:29 pm

Leggs, you’ll probably end up winning the whole kit and kaboodle! :)

Willie Dynamite

September 8th, 2011
2:31 pm

ITl and Swiss – side note, remember you heard it here first. Before the year is over as your season tanks in the gutter and CMR is on his way out. You will find out about some NCAA sanctions involving this “Dream Team” recruiting class. Nothing to talk about or comment on now but just remember.

Fion

September 8th, 2011
2:32 pm

@Leggs
if you want to know football real well, just put on that Shirtdress with those boots and sashay on down to the local Sports Bar. You learn more about Footbal than you ever cared to know.

Leggs

September 8th, 2011
2:32 pm

who are the teams

Leggs

September 8th, 2011
2:35 pm

Now, now, you know that’s not true Fion. Dude would get tired of me asking a bunch of questions…

Fion

September 8th, 2011
2:39 pm

baby, if you showing leggs like you have you have, just set there and be cute.
Now Leggs, i can cook. Really cook. I’ll play dumb as hell in the grocery store and hit all up on single women.

Celisea

September 8th, 2011
2:41 pm

csBrat – i have shoe boxes stacked to the ceiling, wall-to-wall racks in three closets and more shoes stashed under a couple of beds.

Girl you are knee deep in it. I’ve recovered from those days…somewhat. I used grow weak in the knees at the right pair. Right now I don’t know what’s worse, me being a (shoe) recovering addict or my kid moving into her (shoe) addiction….at my expense. :evil: