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Dating Intentions: Good will hunting

If we could buy a crystal ball that could predict if the person we are dating is a colossal waste of time, I think many of us would invest. The money would be well spent because we would know whose intentions were honorable.

Sometimes we use our own logic, deductive reasoning, or intuition to determine intent. There are times, though, when it is simply impossible to know of someone’s intentions when you first meet them.

So for all of the dating veterans out there, how do you know when a person is truly interested in getting to know you?

What do you listen or pay attention to when it comes to figuring out if they just want sex, money, or ego boost?

Happy Friday, everyone!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

135 comments Add your comment

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

September 2nd, 2011
8:00 am

I don’t believe meeting anyone is a waste of time ultimately.

Because if nothing else, you recognize the kind of people that you don’t want to be around.

As for discerning one’s intent; this board is riddled with stories (known and unknown) about people that were misled either by psychopaths or their belief in their own prowess.

But even the bad times show you something about yourself.

To quote Sunny “it cost you $20 to get rid of him”, while for some the cost is much higher; you’ve still learned a lesson.

Sweet Pea~TGIF

September 2nd, 2011
8:28 am

How do you know when a person is truly interested in getting to know you?
Spending quality time with someone, listening to what they share and don’t divulge, and watching their actions will help you discern whether a person is interested or if there is a hidden agenda…IMO

Sweet Pea~TGIF

September 2nd, 2011
8:32 am

Oh! Good Morning Dave and others to follow :) Congrats to you..Peace and Blessings!!!

Sweet Pea~TGIF

September 2nd, 2011
8:34 am

oops forgive the typo…meant to say Dan

it’s still early..”shrugs”

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

September 2nd, 2011
8:49 am

Thank you Ms. Pea

thewindwhistler

September 2nd, 2011
8:51 am

That is a great question. I really like it. The answer to your question starts with where you go to meet someone who would be serious about having A relationship for reasons other than money, sex or ego boost. Look for a relationship in a church social get together. Women use men for sex, once they get what they want they discard the guy like dispoable diapers, just throw him in a bag and out the window. If for some reason the right one does not come along, quit looking and by an ereader.

CoolShadow

September 2nd, 2011
9:01 am

So for all of the dating veterans out there, how do you know when a person is truly interested in getting to know you?

Sweet Pea’s 8:28 sums it up pretty nicely.

What do you listen or pay attention to when it comes to figuring out if they just want sex, money, or ego boost?

Just listen to them self-express; initially, I try to steer them more towards talking about themselves and while they might be trying impress me with their accomplishments and disposition, I also listen for flaws and inconsistencies in their stories. Red flags go up if they’re perfect by their description with no mistakes or regrets (based on their story) or if they’re slamming others to put luster on their shine.

Lovely Brown a.k.a. Diva on the mend...

September 2nd, 2011
9:33 am

Good Morning All and Happy Friday! :-)

Look for a relationship in a church social get together.

The biggest pimps and pimpettes go to church…..ask me how I know :lol:

Haven’t been around these parts in a lil while….I sprang my knee. I wish I would have been doing something XXX- rated when it happened, but I wasn’t :lol: I will say crutches and sex are a adventure! :lol:

SlimNu

September 2nd, 2011
9:42 am

Good morning, and in case you didn’t know, it’s Friday! 3-day weekend wooo hooo hoooo!

Sweet Pea~TGIF

September 2nd, 2011
9:43 am

Windwasher~Men use women for the same thing…it work both ways. Metting someone at a church function doesn’t guarantee a great relationship. Although, there may be some success in finding your soulmate there; some sheep in wolves clothing are in the flock too!…IJS

Cool Shadow~Listening is fundamental just like reading…you can ascertain whether you are getting to know the representative or the true person especially when their stories are inconsistent, and they are overly critical of others(past relationships).

Sweet Pea~TGIF

September 2nd, 2011
9:44 am

oops…meeting not metting! Still got one eye closed ;)

Mr_NYC

September 2nd, 2011
9:49 am

Listen listen listen and listen more
Not sure if I would want to be able to know things up front. I used to joke about having bar codes that could be scanned informing each other of our true intentions. Truth be told we learn about ourselves and others by going through the process and that lesson is valuable.
We also get good feeback rrom others on how we are peceived adn what signals we may be sending out.

Sweet Pea~TGIF

September 2nd, 2011
10:07 am

Truth be told we learn about ourselves and others by going through the process and that lesson is valuable.

So true, and knowing things up front wouldn’t really make it interesting as it would take the curiosity out of the quest!

Exiled!

September 2nd, 2011
10:14 am

What do u listen to or pay attn to when it comes to figuring out if they just want sex,money or ego boost..?!

There is no one thing u can zone on to give u the answer…

U stil gotta fuc them,kiss them,listen to them and stay with them to ve able to figure them out.

Coz men and women come and daze and dazzle u in different ways and methods and MOs!

You gotta fuc and kiss a lottta of toads before u meet ur prince or princess!

Yea!,freaky long weekend!

I plan on dranking some liqor today and tomorrow!

Jake: Sweet Peeda Jeeda, TWB

September 2nd, 2011
10:16 am

If everyone would quit foolin themselves this would be much easier…its not that person’s hidden agenda thats the issue, its your agenda that prevents yopu from enjoying the experience…The truth is, most people want a good time, that good time can be defined as sex or companionship, ultimately its has be fun for both and turn into a relationship…no relationship begins as a relationship, you gotta build your own!!

feeinNC

September 2nd, 2011
10:26 am

I’m gonna be very brief…. women…a man will show you his intentions through in actions or lakc thereof and his mouth will speak his desires..out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks…now, rather u choose to see and listen without the rose colored glasses is up to you….

CoolShadow

September 2nd, 2011
10:28 am

Sweet Pea- sometimes it can be difficult to hone in on clues because your 1st impression of them is intriguing so you might overlook some clues. And if you’re not one to run cynicism full blast 24/7, you might miss clues that way also but to constantly be that way seems mentally exhausting and if the date picks up on that as well, they’ll likely get turned off by it.

Celisea

September 2nd, 2011
10:34 am

Morning,

Off topic: Evening workout report (yesterday) – Treadmill: 2.75 miles, 51.33 minutes 310 calories burned. I was sweating like a mug, only because it’s my weekend at the hair salon. I’ll get one more robust workout today and then it’s easy breezy next week. Gotta keep the hair in check :)

On topic: Umm, it’s been said before watch and listen. Words and actions will eventually align or not. As talented as folks can be sometimes, everybody will reveal their true self….whether that’s good or bad.

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
10:37 am

For some reason, the phrase “Watch as well as pray” keeps popping up for me as an answer to the question posed.

SlimNu

September 2nd, 2011
10:54 am

What do you all think speaks louder, actions or words?

For Real

September 2nd, 2011
10:55 am

What up Blog Fam…

Look it’s not hard to figure out what a person’s intention are towards you IF you ask the right questions and state what you are looking for from that person. The problem comes when you don’t listen to what the person said.

For Real: I don’t want to be married, nor have kids and I really don’t have much time for a girlfriend.

Chick: Awwwwww… You been hurt huh?

For Real: Nope.

Chick: Welll… I think you have been hurt and now you are just trying to protect your heart. Give me a hug.

For Real: Okay.

Fion

September 2nd, 2011
10:57 am

@ Slim

Actions are the true expressions of ourselves.

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
10:57 am

I normally take the Friday before Labor Day as a Pamper Me Day, with a hair and nail salon visit, a massage, a great meal with my fave adult beverage. Today, I am at work. Oh well to that.

On Pamper Me Day 2009, I met TheDude. And on the Friday before Labor Day next year, we will have a wedding. (I like how all of this is coming together.) :)

Sweet Pea~TGIF

September 2nd, 2011
10:59 am

CoolShadow~I agree!

Celisea~You’re gettin it in for sho :) I am on my way to week no. 4 without any workout…not proud of that at all :( However, I must regroup and get to movin! I could feel the difference when I was working out.

For Real

September 2nd, 2011
11:00 am

action can’t talk so Imma go with words.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
11:01 am

Good morning. I need a drink…this freaking document is kicking my ever living behind.

@SlimNU ~ I feel actions speak louder than words.

@feeinNC ~ your 10:26 has closed the church doors. Amen!!!

Sweet Pea~TGIF

September 2nd, 2011
11:01 am

Slim~I believe actions speak volume moreso than words…anyone can utter something out with no meaning..IMO

kimmie

September 2nd, 2011
11:02 am

Morning All!

Slim – Both. Most think actions do, but if you never hear it, you may start questioning the actions, or at least the motives behind the actions. I may think “hey, he must love me because he did XYZ for me, but in reality, he just did it because he’s being nice & does that for everyone. That’s an oversimplified example, but I just don’t like to assume. But talk is cheap, so I do give an edge to actions.

Topic – Time, talking, observing, use of common sense and instincts. All of these things should get you the info you want. If it doesn’t work out, chalk it up to the game.

kimmie

September 2nd, 2011
11:05 am

4 Real – Right, having info doesn’t mean much if you don’t use it once you get it. Take the time to listen – you will more than likely get most of the information you need.

Exiled!

September 2nd, 2011
11:08 am

Enter your comments here

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

September 2nd, 2011
11:11 am

Good on you SC

@Slim

It depends on the person. For me, actions speak louder than words, becuase that’s how I express love. For my wife, the opposite is true in both cases.

People receive love in the way they give it – until they’re asked by someone they to express it otherwise.

SlimNu

September 2nd, 2011
11:13 am

Well my basket acheived its intended purpose. My friend just turned 30 today so I made a basket with a whole bunch of old folks items. Bladder control pads, epsom salt, knee brace, pill reminder, reading glasses and I even put a little tombstone and wrote RIP 20’s on it. hehehehehe

Now i’m is hongry!

UKnowMe

September 2nd, 2011
11:13 am

One of my friends recently bought a house with her boyfriend. They went wedding ring shopping this past weekend. Yesterday, she found out that, since December last year, he has had spyware installed on her home computer and has had access to all of her email and FB activity.

For Real

September 2nd, 2011
11:14 am

To expound upon Slim’s question. What actions?

Kimmie: Did you see Breaking Bad Sunday. I swear this is the best writing I have ever seen. Walt done got Ironside aka Hank on the Chicken Man’s ass now. Oh and I still want somebody to knock Skylar’s face off with that rock hammer used in Shawshank Redemption.

Celisea

September 2nd, 2011
11:14 am

Hang in there Sweet Pea. Truthfully, I can’t give a rigourous workout after my hair has been done. Sorry I know it’s vain but, nope..no can do. I can do a light walk :)

The old saying goes “actions speak louder than words.” Words can be truth or lies…actions are true to who you are…even if you fake for a while, you can’t help but be who you are. Words? You can lie all day long.

Celisea

September 2nd, 2011
11:16 am

UKnowMe – OMGosh, that’s awful.

For Real

September 2nd, 2011
11:16 am

“he has had spyware installed on her home computer and has had access to all of her email and FB activity” – Sounds like someone that’s trying to make a sound decision. Information is CRITICAL!!!

kimmie

September 2nd, 2011
11:18 am

4 Real – I was on the edge of my seat, especially when they went to that meeting. I thought he was going to poison the coffee then. Man, I find myself just holding my breath because I never know when something is going to pop off!!!

kimmie

September 2nd, 2011
11:22 am

UKnow – I had an ex do something similiar to me. Though he didn’t get much info because I rarely used my home computer around that time. A friend whose boyfriend was in IT discovered it and some other things he did to my computer.

It was cool, I was about to kick him to the curb anyway. Hadn’t talked or communicated in any way with him since(was back in 2006). Erased him from my life.

For Real

September 2nd, 2011
11:26 am

Kimmie: I don’t how they are able to keep some many stories going at one time. Walt’s loosing his mind. Skylar is a bitch. Walt’s son agrees that Skylar is a bitch. Jessie not caring about life until Chicken gives him new reason and now Walt wants him to kill Chicken Man. Chickman wants to kill Walt but he can’t find anyone else that can make such premo meth and he is about to have a drug war. Mike doesn’t understand why he has to drive around with Jesse and he has to watch the Chicken Man’s back. Saul is trying to figure out he can get more money without getting killed.

Mr_NYC

September 2nd, 2011
11:29 am

Breaking Bad is some kind of show for real.

@Kimmie – agree on your 11:02 – makes it hard to be nice sometimes even when you say “hey I’m just being nice and want to have a good time”
Turns into I told all my girlfriends about you

D Dub of the MSP (formerly D Dub of the ATL)

September 2nd, 2011
11:31 am

I don’t really think there is a perfect formula for figuring out if someone is worthy of your time or not – each person I come across in life I have to make the assumption that they have been brought to me for a purpose… either to help me or for me to help them. Whether it’s for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, you should embrace the opportunity and be ready to roll with the punches.

We all put on a mask while we are getting to know other people whether we admit it or not, and truthfully only time can tell you whether or not they are worthy of more of your time. To paraphrase Katt Williams, “You need to figure out what is it about you that keeps attracting ain’t-ish ninjas.”

@For Real – that was hilarious, and speaks to a lot of people’s problem of creating their own little fantasy world and adding other people to the story without their permission.

“The biggest pimps and pimpettes go to church…” – truth. I need to also remind you that the church is a hospital for sick people too, so be careful who you pick up there. Two of my biggest wastes of time relationship-wise were women that were the biggest bible-thumpers I’ve ever met – one being my ex-wife.

UKnowMe

September 2nd, 2011
11:34 am

“the church is a hospital for sick people too, so be careful who you pick up there.”

Worth reposting…

Lovely Brown a.k.a. Diva on the mend...

September 2nd, 2011
11:40 am

UKnowMe

September 2nd, 2011
11:13 am
One of my friends recently bought a house with her boyfriend. They went wedding ring shopping this past weekend. Yesterday, she found out that, since December last year, he has had spyware installed on her home computer and has had access to all of her email and FB activity

:shock: That is some Lifetime Movie mess right there.

Fion

September 2nd, 2011
11:51 am

Fion scratching he’s head!!!!!

“he has had spyware installed on her home computer and
has had access to all of her email and FB activity
bought a house with her boyfriend. They went wedding ring shopping t
his past weekend.”

If i have to dio all of that, wouldn’t that mean you really aren’t for me.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
11:53 am

“Both. Most think actions do, but if you never hear it, you may start questioning the actions….”

Actually, this is a much better answer.

@UnkownMe ~ all I can say is DAMN, DAMN, DAMN. Lucy, we gots a problem…..

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
11:54 am

Everybody is talking about this Breaking Bad. I need to see what the fuss is all about.

@Unknown ~ when did she find out about all this????

UKnowMe

September 2nd, 2011
11:55 am

There have been signs of his distrust prior to now – obviously made up stories about randomly vague people who supposedly came to him with rumors of her cheating, him being jealous of a friendship with a guy that she has known since she was 12 and who is like a brother.

She keeps ignoring the signs. I’ve stopped pointing them out. I can see this not ending positively.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
12:00 pm

Ummmm, perhaps she shouldn’t marry him. Insecure, jealous people like that will ALWAYS make up stuff and will always point his ugly nibble finger at her. That’s not her husband-to-be, that’s her Warden!

UKnowMe

September 2nd, 2011
12:02 pm

One of her statements this morning, “Ain’t it supposed to be good that somebody is that much in love with you?”

My response, “Child, please. He is in something, but it ain’t love. He is insecure and insane.”

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
12:03 pm

Better yet, UknowMe, what is she going to do about?

Lovely Brown a.k.a. Diva on the mend...

September 2nd, 2011
12:04 pm

That’s not her husband-to-be, that’s her Warden!

And it will not change. he will only get worse with time.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
12:05 pm

That’s not love, that’s distrust oon every level. Hell, I wouldn’t put it pass him to plant some crap on the computer or in the house! Sounds like a life of discomfort and lots of screaming and crying on her part.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
12:07 pm

Yes it will, LovelyB! Yes it will. As much as we all want someone to love us, I don’t anyone to love me that good. Sorry, but your friend is also mental.

UKnowMe

September 2nd, 2011
12:07 pm

Leggs – he did. That was in my first post.

As to what she will do, be mad for a couple of days, marry him anyway.

cba

September 2nd, 2011
12:08 pm

What’s the world coming to: Arthur Blank and his wife is separating after 16 yrs!!!!! Hmmmm, I wonder how much the fact that he’s 68 and she is 43 has to do with it. Let me see, what is half of a billion $$$$ and half of the Falcons, and half of Home Depot and half…………

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
12:08 pm

I apologize, I shouldn’t have said that, UKnowMe!

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
12:10 pm

Let me go back and read. Reading comprehension proves to be a little tricky at times.

Sweet Pea~TGIF

September 2nd, 2011
12:14 pm

UKnowMe/Leggs: If he’s installed spyware on her computer, I can’t imagine his actions if she came home a minute or two late due to running an errand or being delayed in traffic. It sounds like the writing is on the wall, but she refuses to see it in hopes that it will change after marrying him.

Sweet Pea~TGIF

September 2nd, 2011
12:15 pm

crap….he installed

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
12:17 pm

Yeah SweetPea, she might end up like the girl last week. Her gf came home to find her sleeping and no dinner on the table. She stabbed her. Not sure if she died or not!

Sassy Me :-)

September 2nd, 2011
12:21 pm

Let me see, what is half of a billion $$$$ and half of the Falcons, and half of Home Depot and half…………

Umm can we say mAjor gwap :lol:

side note: Mr. Bermuda gone be at the airport this afternoon. It pays to have fam that work for one of the major airlines on the island :-) I’m going to have a good Labor Day weekend ;-)

Exiled!

September 2nd, 2011
12:21 pm

And in other rap news,the King of the south is not that much of a king anyway!

Institutionalized King maybe!

SlimNu

September 2nd, 2011
12:25 pm

Is there a way to detect if spyware has been loaded on a computer?

Lovely Brown a.k.a. Diva on the mend...

September 2nd, 2011
12:30 pm

UKnowMe- Please stick in there with your friend…..she may not appreciate you now, but she will.

How long has she know her fiancee’? Because I don’t care what folk say….he/she wasn’t like this when we started out…BS! Like Foreal said, some of us don’t listen to what that person is saying, we hear what we want to…..been there, done that. I’m not blaming your friend, but there are always signs IMO.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
12:33 pm

@LovelyB ~ I have to agree, because if she thinks it’s good to be loved like that, she gushed at his antics in the beginning.

Lovely Brown a.k.a. Diva on the mend...

September 2nd, 2011
12:37 pm

And in other rap news,the King of the south is not that much of a king anyway!

Institutionalized King maybe

I love me some T.I. but his sexy azz stays losing :lol:

I read somewhere that they, T.I. and Tiny, were having sex on the bus.

And that the FEDS were not happy about him filming a reality show. I can believe it.

He should have just got out and had a seat….until next time, because there will be a next time :lol:

UKnowMe

September 2nd, 2011
12:41 pm

I will definitely be there for her. In all other areas, she is a very strong individual. And she wasn’t necessarily gushing when she made the “love me like you do” statement. It was more of an expression of frustration. She is ticked, confused and realizes that there is nothing that she can do about his insecurities.

And that is what I said to her, “Yes, you do want to be with someone that loves you more than words can express. You just don’t want it to be combined with all that insecurity, foolishness and psychotic behavior.”

Having been around them, I know that for the most part, they are really good together. This just happens to be the recurring issue in their relationship. Unfortunately, it’s a major one.

And they have been together for three years. He didn’t get extra crazy until around December last year.

Exiled!

September 2nd, 2011
12:41 pm

He’s trying to protect his heart,can’t blame him for being too cautious.

Why is UknownMe’s friend panicking?

‘@Skim?

u want to have ur computer checked for spyware. U suspect Mr Fed is snooping?

Ogh lawdie!

Exiled!

September 2nd, 2011
12:45 pm

LBrown?

T.I. is an example of the ghetto refusing to leave the T.I. brain station.

Maybe Mary J could mentor him.

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
12:53 pm

Hello! How is everyone? What is the current off topic…topic?

Lovely Brown a.k.a. Diva on the mend...

September 2nd, 2011
12:54 pm

T.I. is an example of the ghetto refusing to leave the T.I. brain station.

Maybe Mary J could mentor him

@Exiled- Mary J? Not a good choice. I love her too, but she has her ghetto on reserve. I can relate :lol: I keep my ghetto on pause…..

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
12:59 pm

When did bad decision making skills become synonomous for ghetto?

Exiled!

September 2nd, 2011
1:08 pm

Ghetto in this instance,is a euphemism for ignorant,dumb and stupid rolled into one.

You can have money and still be ghetto.

SlimNu

September 2nd, 2011
1:15 pm

You can have money and still be ghetto —–>Tammi on Bball wives :lol:

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
1:16 pm

Actually, that question should have been phrased differently, “When did ghetto become synonomous for bad decision making skills?”

Um..yeah…that was bothering me. (lol)

SlimNu

September 2nd, 2011
1:16 pm

You can NOT have money and still be ghetto

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
1:17 pm

Exiled!

September 2nd, 2011
1:20 pm

@Slum U Cannot have money and still ve ghetto?

Kid rock = ghetto

TI ghetto

Gucci!! = Ghetto

Snoop Double D dizzle = ghetto

Plizzw

SlimNu

September 2nd, 2011
1:23 pm

Exiled – In other words, you can be broke and be ghetto lol Anyone can be ghetto but sometimes ghetto goes down to the bone marrow.

Exiled!

September 2nd, 2011
1:24 pm

Sexxy?

Ur ghetto(1:16) is referring to location/abode.

Or noun

My ghetto is a verb.

Exiled!

September 2nd, 2011
1:27 pm

Slim?

Ghetto to the marrow?

Yea

SlimNu

September 2nd, 2011
1:30 pm

Ex – bored huh?

Sweet Pea~TGIF

September 2nd, 2011
1:32 pm

Leggs: Oh my! I didn’t hear about that one. When people show any signs of crazy you MUST believe them as that is certainly a red flag to know what to anticipate later on.

As for the King of the South, maybe he should’ve eased on down the road quietly like MV did…an SUV and perhaps a couple of cars. However,I am baffled about how his transportation landed him in jail again. If there were specifics given to him, and he violated them then ok.

You know how TIP rolls!! Big things poppin!

Exiled!

September 2nd, 2011
1:33 pm

Yea Slim..

u know I’m bored when, on a friday afternoon,I’m scratching my balls and they aren’t even itchy.

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
1:40 pm

If you are ghetto, country, suburban or bougie…..just be you. Those who label you as such really don’t matter. Now you might not be able to get into some places…but just be comfortable with whatever you are. LOL

SlimNu

September 2nd, 2011
1:46 pm

Purp – yeah a white tee is almost like a gang sign at some places :lol:

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
1:47 pm

@UknowMe ~ that’s cool to read that she is apprehensive. I did picture her saying “isn’t it good to be loved like this” with a smile and quick skip in her step. I stand corrected. She is concerned and that’s a good thing.

Like somewhere said earlier. Be there for your friend, as I see you plan on doing.

Fion

September 2nd, 2011
1:50 pm

@ UKnowme
quick question, when your friend asks you to be in the wedding are you going to say Yes?

UKnowMe

September 2nd, 2011
2:01 pm

It’s the second marriage for them both. They both did over the top weddings the first time. Neither of them want a wedding.

Lovely Brown a.k.a. Diva on the mend...

September 2nd, 2011
2:05 pm

Was reading that T.I. supposedly told them he was traveling in a van. He pulled up in a blinged out tour bus, his entourage in SUV’s and VH1 cameras filming every move…….

His wife has a different story….she says they(feds) took pics with T.I. in front of the tour bus and wished him well. HA!

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
2:06 pm

People who snoop and are distrusting are usually not trust worthy themselves.

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
2:07 pm

If they let him leave in the bus it is their fault. LOL

Friend or Foe

September 2nd, 2011
2:10 pm

@UKnowMe: Have you truthfully shared ALL of your thoughts to your friend? I would be upset to know a best friend is passing around intimate details of my dysfuntional relationship.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

September 2nd, 2011
2:16 pm

Better than that

@UKnow

Are you a male friend of said female friend?

Friend or Foe

September 2nd, 2011
2:16 pm

People who tattle are equally distrusting.

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
2:19 pm

Friend or Foe, I agree.

SlimNu

September 2nd, 2011
2:20 pm

For some reason they don’t want to let him be. Who cares what type of vehicle he left in? Sounds petty to me unless the feds just wanted to get the film or memory card from the cameras back lol

UKnowMe

September 2nd, 2011
2:21 pm

Yes. I have. But one tacit friendship agreement that we have is that once we give our opinion regarding a matter, we let it go. It is almost a condition of our friendship. However, I am not blogging under my regular name, as a precautionary measure.

Fion

September 2nd, 2011
2:26 pm

@UKnowMe
How do you think this thing ends?

ISIS

September 2nd, 2011
2:26 pm

This is a difficult one. Everyone is looking for that perfect mate: God fearing, hard working, family oriented, handsome, strong, sensitive, great conversation, nice family, a career not a job, smart with money, helpful, a friend, explosive in bed, educated. Of course, that describes the perfect mate but 80% is desired.

I would recommend you do a couple of things while dating. First, watch him/her actions (how do they treat others, talk to their parents, chilvary). Let them talk and tell on themselves. Be friends first, which is not easy. Most of the time the chemistry is whoa and a kiss seems like the awesome’est thing to do, but it ain’t. Maybe date others while seeing him or her. Maybe. You might want to check with them first to see if that’s okay. They might think it’s too dangerous, which most of the time it is.

Really, only time will tell. Ask God to favor you and your new relationship. He will according to your faith in your request.

Good luck!

UKnowMe

September 2nd, 2011
2:30 pm

Fion – I happen to agree with Purple Reign’s sentiment that those who are distrusting are often untrustworthy. So, I believe that they will continue in this pattern until she catches him doing the very thing that he accuses her of doing. After a few rounds of that, she will get fed up and will end the relationship.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
2:34 pm

And, that’s how it will more than likely go down. I know this couple who is raising their children never to lie. The father voices his disappointment when they’re caught in a lie. I laugh when he tells me things, because he’s the biggest hypocrite I know. Have I told him this, yep!

Friend or Foe

September 2nd, 2011
2:36 pm

@UKnowMe:

Blogging behind the curtains about a friend poses the question friend or foe in my humble opinion? Provide your friend the link and allow her the right to decide to disclose or not.

UKnowMe

September 2nd, 2011
2:42 pm

FoF – you are well entitled to your opinion. And as you so obviously disapprove of my posts, feel free to skip over them and choose not to engage in this discussion.

As to your suggestion, I will humbly decline.

Lovely Brown a.k.a. Diva on the mend...

September 2nd, 2011
2:43 pm

Provide your friend the link and allow her the right to decide to disclose or not.

Yeah, that’s a sure fire way to stir the siht…..

Friend or Foe

September 2nd, 2011
2:51 pm

@UKnowMe:

I find no fault in telling a funny story or an incident. To spend the day disclosing the details of a private relationship where one has entrusted you and made you privy shows slightly gossipy and messy at best.

Have a safe weekend.

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
2:54 pm

I am convinced that “I would love an invitation.” or “I better get an invitation.” or whatever words to that effect are just a natural response when you mention a wedding to some folks.

There is this chick that I have had to request a permit from three or four times in the past year or so. When I have to send a request, I seriously have to go to my database to find her name. I just saw her and lunch and we got to talking about Labor Day weekend plans and I mentioned my nuptials next year. Um…yeah…so, she said she would love an invitation. Hruh?!?!?

Lady, I’m sitting her trying to rack my brain to remember your name. Why do you thing I would invite you to my wedding?

(wedding related rant over…..lol)

PeeLito

September 2nd, 2011
2:55 pm

I have a question, a friend of my ex girlfriend calls me and tells me that my ex girlfriends husband needs a job. Now my ex girlfriend makes 6 figures easy.(She’s an orthodontist) So it caught me off guard and I don’t know why the guy would come work for me. Then I realized that he doesn’t know that I used to date this woman seriously and we were the “it” couple in the town for the longest and everyone expected us to get married one day. I asked the friend if my ex girlfriend knew that she was asking me to find her husband a job and she said that she indeed did. So I told her to give him my number and he called so I guess I am hooking him up if he does well. I feel like I should have said “no” because I feel like I am somehone deceiving Jules but not asking her first and I feel kind of dirty by helping my ex longtime girlfriends husband and he doesn know that he may be working for someone who his wife was very much in love with. I am going to tell my wife and I know she is going to be pissed…maybe. I should have just said no. Thoughts?

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
2:57 pm

Friend or Foe – Other folks’ relationship details are shared on this blog all the time. And as to your “blogging behind the curtains” statement, um…yeah…isn’t that what we all are doing? You included.

I notice that you did not use YOUR government name.

Fion

September 2nd, 2011
2:58 pm

@ Sexy
“Why do you thing I would invite you to my wedding?”

The Liquor Free!

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
2:59 pm

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
3:00 pm

Yeah…that’s what everyone seems to think. They don’t know there will be a cover charge to get up in my reception.

LMAO – I jest. I joke. I kid.

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
3:03 pm

Or…I’m giving out armbands.

No gift. No armband. No liquor. LOL!

Or…what about drink tickets. The better the gift, the more drink tickets you get…
(More jokes….)

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
3:04 pm

Oooo….P-Lito – dude, sounds like you are about to step all up in it. Wow….

Fion

September 2nd, 2011
3:04 pm

Y’all be safe, and have a good Holiday weekend.
I’m going to drink me some Firewater, and scope me a Fine daughter. Ah Yes!
I’m about to get Splendid !!!!!

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

September 2nd, 2011
3:05 pm

@SC

Having just gone through it, invite 200, plan on 100; should you so choose.

Between now and the weekend before Labor Day next year: kids, car note/repairs, all manner of medical ailments, and the fact that people want to go somewhere else are going to be excuses you hear.

Plan on immediate family, and the folks you kick hard with. I invited everyone and their grandma – litter ally – knowing full and h3ll well if some of them showed up, they was gone be hongry.

PeeLito

September 2nd, 2011
3:06 pm

SC, take in my mind that I haven’t spoken to the ex-girlfriend in 20 years easily.

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
3:07 pm

SexyCool, my thoughts exactly. Seems as if “P-lito” has really messed up.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

September 2nd, 2011
3:08 pm

@SC

One more piece of advice (if I may); the State of GA has passed a law stating that if an inebriated person is driving and has an accident, the person serving them alcohol (including the first bartender of the night) could be held liable.

At my reception, there was alcohol, but we in no way served, offered or invited anyone to drink.

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
3:09 pm

This name changing stuff is to hard to keep up with. I am just going to call the guy back and tell him no can do, and just keep it to myself.

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
3:10 pm

Dan you got married? Awesome I hope you and your wife have a happy never ending marriage!

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
3:10 pm

Well, PeeLito still has time to tell his wife. It’s better for him to tell her than for her to find out. And as to the husband, I would also indulge the details upfront because nobody likes finding that out on the back end. He would be very resentful of feeling like he was taking charity from the enemy at the least and be full of rage at the thought that all that that time, PeeLito had something on him.

It’s a good thing that PeeLito has a good heart, but some pastures you just shouldn’t graze in. They are already too full of manure.

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
3:12 pm

P-Lito – an even better move.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
3:14 pm

@PR ~ yes, you should have discussed with Julia just so she would know the history. But, your story reminds me of a movie wherea woman asked this guy who she used to kick it with to give her husband a job. All hell broke loose once he found out he got a “hand out.”

If you feel dirty, then cleanse yourself. You know what you need to do.

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
3:19 pm

Leggs – wasn’t that a part of the plot line in Soul Food?

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
3:20 pm

Dan – in that case, no one is ever drinking at my house EVER again. lol

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
3:21 pm

Yes ma’am, Soul Food. Thanks!

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
3:35 pm

Well, I sorta lied to the guy. I called him back and told him I would not be able to hire him. I called my wife and told her that friend of my ex girlfriend called me to get her husband a job and I told him “no” I could not do that after initially telling him I could. She is wondering why the woman even called and asked me and asked me for her number. Well, I came clean. But she is not happy with the girl calling me asking me that.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
3:39 pm

I can’t get over you haven’t spoken to her in over 20 years and she asks a friend to ask you to give her hubby a job.

Lovely Brown a.k.a. Diva on the mend...

September 2nd, 2011
3:49 pm

PR- your 3:09 is the right decision.

Friend or Foe- SC’s 2:57 is just for you…HA! Siht Stirrers Unite!

Going to do a Jilly from Philly…..roll tha trees and feel tha breeze ;-)

Ya’ll have a good holiday weekend and be safe. Dueces!

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
4:03 pm

WOW, Arthur Blank (68) and his wife (43) are separating after 16 years of marriage. Heck, she’s just now really coming into her own and he’s leaving his own behind. A 25 year difference eventually comes to a head (I would think).

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
4:26 pm

Guess everyone has left the playground. I’m sitting here all by myself…la dee da, la dee da! What mischief can I get into…apparently NONE!

Gd nite!

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
4:35 pm

Brin Cous

September 3rd, 2011
2:31 pm

I don’t know about intent but as a man just trying to go to the Grocery Store to shop is getting to be a chore putting up with the women that follow me around. I mean, it is distracting, I am on a mission just to buy groceries and the women , all very nice just won’t leave me alone…What to do ?