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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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Dating Intentions: Good will hunting

If we could buy a crystal ball that could predict if the person we are dating is a colossal waste of time, I think many of us would invest. The money would be well spent because we would know whose intentions were honorable.

Sometimes we use our own logic, deductive reasoning, or intuition to determine intent. There are times, though, when it is simply impossible to know of someone’s intentions when you first meet them.

So for all of the dating veterans out there, how do you know when a person is truly interested in getting to know you?

What do you listen or pay attention to when it comes to figuring out if they just want sex, money, or ego boost?

Happy Friday, everyone!

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

135 comments Add your comment

ISIS

September 2nd, 2011
2:26 pm

This is a difficult one. Everyone is looking for that perfect mate: God fearing, hard working, family oriented, handsome, strong, sensitive, great conversation, nice family, a career not a job, smart with money, helpful, a friend, explosive in bed, educated. Of course, that describes the perfect mate but 80% is desired.

I would recommend you do a couple of things while dating. First, watch him/her actions (how do they treat others, talk to their parents, chilvary). Let them talk and tell on themselves. Be friends first, which is not easy. Most of the time the chemistry is whoa and a kiss seems like the awesome’est thing to do, but it ain’t. Maybe date others while seeing him or her. Maybe. You might want to check with them first to see if that’s okay. They might think it’s too dangerous, which most of the time it is.

Really, only time will tell. Ask God to favor you and your new relationship. He will according to your faith in your request.

Good luck!

UKnowMe

September 2nd, 2011
2:30 pm

Fion – I happen to agree with Purple Reign’s sentiment that those who are distrusting are often untrustworthy. So, I believe that they will continue in this pattern until she catches him doing the very thing that he accuses her of doing. After a few rounds of that, she will get fed up and will end the relationship.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
2:34 pm

And, that’s how it will more than likely go down. I know this couple who is raising their children never to lie. The father voices his disappointment when they’re caught in a lie. I laugh when he tells me things, because he’s the biggest hypocrite I know. Have I told him this, yep!

Friend or Foe

September 2nd, 2011
2:36 pm

@UKnowMe:

Blogging behind the curtains about a friend poses the question friend or foe in my humble opinion? Provide your friend the link and allow her the right to decide to disclose or not.

UKnowMe

September 2nd, 2011
2:42 pm

FoF – you are well entitled to your opinion. And as you so obviously disapprove of my posts, feel free to skip over them and choose not to engage in this discussion.

As to your suggestion, I will humbly decline.

Lovely Brown a.k.a. Diva on the mend...

September 2nd, 2011
2:43 pm

Provide your friend the link and allow her the right to decide to disclose or not.

Yeah, that’s a sure fire way to stir the siht…..

Friend or Foe

September 2nd, 2011
2:51 pm

@UKnowMe:

I find no fault in telling a funny story or an incident. To spend the day disclosing the details of a private relationship where one has entrusted you and made you privy shows slightly gossipy and messy at best.

Have a safe weekend.

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
2:54 pm

I am convinced that “I would love an invitation.” or “I better get an invitation.” or whatever words to that effect are just a natural response when you mention a wedding to some folks.

There is this chick that I have had to request a permit from three or four times in the past year or so. When I have to send a request, I seriously have to go to my database to find her name. I just saw her and lunch and we got to talking about Labor Day weekend plans and I mentioned my nuptials next year. Um…yeah…so, she said she would love an invitation. Hruh?!?!?

Lady, I’m sitting her trying to rack my brain to remember your name. Why do you thing I would invite you to my wedding?

(wedding related rant over…..lol)

PeeLito

September 2nd, 2011
2:55 pm

I have a question, a friend of my ex girlfriend calls me and tells me that my ex girlfriends husband needs a job. Now my ex girlfriend makes 6 figures easy.(She’s an orthodontist) So it caught me off guard and I don’t know why the guy would come work for me. Then I realized that he doesn’t know that I used to date this woman seriously and we were the “it” couple in the town for the longest and everyone expected us to get married one day. I asked the friend if my ex girlfriend knew that she was asking me to find her husband a job and she said that she indeed did. So I told her to give him my number and he called so I guess I am hooking him up if he does well. I feel like I should have said “no” because I feel like I am somehone deceiving Jules but not asking her first and I feel kind of dirty by helping my ex longtime girlfriends husband and he doesn know that he may be working for someone who his wife was very much in love with. I am going to tell my wife and I know she is going to be pissed…maybe. I should have just said no. Thoughts?

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
2:57 pm

Friend or Foe – Other folks’ relationship details are shared on this blog all the time. And as to your “blogging behind the curtains” statement, um…yeah…isn’t that what we all are doing? You included.

I notice that you did not use YOUR government name.

Fion

September 2nd, 2011
2:58 pm

@ Sexy
“Why do you thing I would invite you to my wedding?”

The Liquor Free!

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
2:59 pm

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
3:00 pm

Yeah…that’s what everyone seems to think. They don’t know there will be a cover charge to get up in my reception.

LMAO – I jest. I joke. I kid.

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
3:03 pm

Or…I’m giving out armbands.

No gift. No armband. No liquor. LOL!

Or…what about drink tickets. The better the gift, the more drink tickets you get…
(More jokes….)

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
3:04 pm

Oooo….P-Lito – dude, sounds like you are about to step all up in it. Wow….

Fion

September 2nd, 2011
3:04 pm

Y’all be safe, and have a good Holiday weekend.
I’m going to drink me some Firewater, and scope me a Fine daughter. Ah Yes!
I’m about to get Splendid !!!!!

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

September 2nd, 2011
3:05 pm

@SC

Having just gone through it, invite 200, plan on 100; should you so choose.

Between now and the weekend before Labor Day next year: kids, car note/repairs, all manner of medical ailments, and the fact that people want to go somewhere else are going to be excuses you hear.

Plan on immediate family, and the folks you kick hard with. I invited everyone and their grandma – litter ally – knowing full and h3ll well if some of them showed up, they was gone be hongry.

PeeLito

September 2nd, 2011
3:06 pm

SC, take in my mind that I haven’t spoken to the ex-girlfriend in 20 years easily.

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
3:07 pm

SexyCool, my thoughts exactly. Seems as if “P-lito” has really messed up.

The man formerly know as Dan - still...Superior

September 2nd, 2011
3:08 pm

@SC

One more piece of advice (if I may); the State of GA has passed a law stating that if an inebriated person is driving and has an accident, the person serving them alcohol (including the first bartender of the night) could be held liable.

At my reception, there was alcohol, but we in no way served, offered or invited anyone to drink.

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
3:09 pm

This name changing stuff is to hard to keep up with. I am just going to call the guy back and tell him no can do, and just keep it to myself.

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
3:10 pm

Dan you got married? Awesome I hope you and your wife have a happy never ending marriage!

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
3:10 pm

Well, PeeLito still has time to tell his wife. It’s better for him to tell her than for her to find out. And as to the husband, I would also indulge the details upfront because nobody likes finding that out on the back end. He would be very resentful of feeling like he was taking charity from the enemy at the least and be full of rage at the thought that all that that time, PeeLito had something on him.

It’s a good thing that PeeLito has a good heart, but some pastures you just shouldn’t graze in. They are already too full of manure.

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
3:12 pm

P-Lito – an even better move.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
3:14 pm

@PR ~ yes, you should have discussed with Julia just so she would know the history. But, your story reminds me of a movie wherea woman asked this guy who she used to kick it with to give her husband a job. All hell broke loose once he found out he got a “hand out.”

If you feel dirty, then cleanse yourself. You know what you need to do.

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
3:19 pm

Leggs – wasn’t that a part of the plot line in Soul Food?

SexyCool

September 2nd, 2011
3:20 pm

Dan – in that case, no one is ever drinking at my house EVER again. lol

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
3:21 pm

Yes ma’am, Soul Food. Thanks!

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
3:35 pm

Well, I sorta lied to the guy. I called him back and told him I would not be able to hire him. I called my wife and told her that friend of my ex girlfriend called me to get her husband a job and I told him “no” I could not do that after initially telling him I could. She is wondering why the woman even called and asked me and asked me for her number. Well, I came clean. But she is not happy with the girl calling me asking me that.

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
3:39 pm

I can’t get over you haven’t spoken to her in over 20 years and she asks a friend to ask you to give her hubby a job.

Lovely Brown a.k.a. Diva on the mend...

September 2nd, 2011
3:49 pm

PR- your 3:09 is the right decision.

Friend or Foe- SC’s 2:57 is just for you…HA! Siht Stirrers Unite!

Going to do a Jilly from Philly…..roll tha trees and feel tha breeze ;-)

Ya’ll have a good holiday weekend and be safe. Dueces!

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
4:03 pm

WOW, Arthur Blank (68) and his wife (43) are separating after 16 years of marriage. Heck, she’s just now really coming into her own and he’s leaving his own behind. A 25 year difference eventually comes to a head (I would think).

Leggs

September 2nd, 2011
4:26 pm

Guess everyone has left the playground. I’m sitting here all by myself…la dee da, la dee da! What mischief can I get into…apparently NONE!

Gd nite!

Purple Reign

September 2nd, 2011
4:35 pm

Brin Cous

September 3rd, 2011
2:31 pm

I don’t know about intent but as a man just trying to go to the Grocery Store to shop is getting to be a chore putting up with the women that follow me around. I mean, it is distracting, I am on a mission just to buy groceries and the women , all very nice just won’t leave me alone…What to do ?