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Archive for September, 2011

Ex-Files: Who is your Kryptonite?

Most of us have dated enough people to have found their personal kryptonite. That one person who renders us stupid, powerless, and unable to make rational choices when they are around.

I had one and I am convinced he no longer has that power over me. It helps that I changed phone numbers, office locations, and I no longer see any mutual friends. But whatever. The point is, I can pretty much relax about him since he won’t pop up anywhere.

It’s strange how these people even get this kind of influence over us. It can be sex-induced, love-induced, or perhaps a mixture of both. Once you figure out how they became your kryptonite, you should be able to combat it.

Who is your kryptonite and why? What was it about them that made you a big pile of confusion?

What do you do to break the spell of people who have you feeling caught up and in a daze?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Ex-Files: Who is your Kryptonite? »

Do you know who NOT to date?

When we reach that age/stage in life that we should stop dating wholly inappropriate people, we (thankfully!) begin to figure out who is not good for you. It would be amazing and utterly convenient to have a running list of the “types” that everyone should generally avoid, right?

A reader sent me an article by a guy who listed the “types of women to avoid” and I found it equally tragic and hilarious.

Just for fun, let’s say we compose a list. What types would you put on it and why?

I would start mine with don’t date a record producer, aspiring rapper, or bartender. I have been down that road, trust me!

Let’s see what you come up with. Who knows? Maybe we can figure out if we are the type that others avoid. The more you know, people. The more you know.

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Do you know who NOT to date? »

Are you anti-PDA?

If you are feeling a bit frisky on your next Southwest Airline flight, you should probably think twice. An actress and her girlfriend were booted from a flight after other passengers complained about their “excessive PDA“. After being asked to leave, they became upset and got booted off the flight.

What is it about public displays of affection that bothers us so much? When you are in love and can’t keep your hands off each other, do you think you understand it more?

Have you ever tempted someone to fool around in public? What would you do if you were asked to get naughty of a flight?

How would you react to a couple trying to join the mile high club?

Continue reading Are you anti-PDA? »

Dating: What’s your story?

Do you ever get tired of mixing and mingling? You still want to be someone really great but the thought of answering the same questions over and over again makes you twitchy. I just want to walk up to Mr. Wonderful and hand him my “book” so he can get a condensed version of who I am, what my flaws are, and what I bring to the table.

I know, this is the ultra lazy approach to dating. It’s supposed to be fun and exciting. You are supposed to be filled with anticipation and blah blah blah. Some days you just don’t feel it. That is a classic sign that you are stuck in a dating rut!

If you feel bored with dating, chances are you are boring your dates to tears too. It’s not always their issue, though. Sometimes, it’s you. If you don’t consider yourself a fun and interesting person to get to know, your date will agree wholeheartedly.

If you feel yourself slipping into the Most Uninteresting Man/Woman in the World, take a break from dating and focus on other things. Trust …

Continue reading Dating: What’s your story? »

Is that really a dealbreaker?

Sometimes it can be tough being friends with a guy. When they come to me and whine about their dating woes, I try to be understanding and supportive. When they are the one breaking hearts, I have to call them out.
That’s what friends are for, right?

My buddy Lance decided to end things with someone who seemed really promising. She was nice enough but apparently her bedroom skills were lacking. Instead of talking to her about it, he decided to break things off.

Obviously, he wasn’t into her as much as I thought. If you decided that bad sex is enough to send you packing, you probably weren’t that invested in the relationship.

Personally, I think bad sex is something that can be improved, but do you agree? Would do consider it a deal breaker?

I do love my friend Lance but I think perhaps this is maturity thing. Do you think we reach a certain age when we should wise up a little? What age do we drop our so called dating deal breakers?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta …

Continue reading Is that really a dealbreaker? »

First date? Watch the hands!

If I were to list one of my all-time worst first dates, I would have to put my date with Mr. Octopus at the top. It’s bad enough when someone is not picking up on the lack of chemistry, but when you add inappropriate body groping? You are reaching creepy status, thereby reducing your chances of another date.

My guy friends teased me about this because they think if I thought the guy was hot, I wouldn’t mind being groped! Apparently, women only object because they aren’t really attracted in the first place.

I can’t say with certainty if that is true or not. I just know that if someone is giving you the “Why are you caressing my thigh?” face and you continue – in an attempt to be seductive, it’s a turnoff. Also, don’t be surprised when you meet my taser gun.

Everyone has different comfort levels, though. When do you feel comfortable “touching” your date? When does it become too much?

How do you signal that you are open – or not open- to the public displays of affection, or …

Continue reading First date? Watch the hands! »

Dating and your looks

When we debated the “height preferences” earlier this week, I naturally thought how the way we look impact our dating options. When it comes to how you look, do you think that attractiveness is measured and counts for more than it should?

Obviously, we don’t want to be with someone who we aren’t physically attracted to, but just take a moment and think about the success rate of your past dating relationships.

How much did the persons looks contribute (or detract from) the way you interacted with them? How did their looks play a role in how you two connected?

What about their personality? Do you notice a correlation between their attractiveness and their personality traits?

If it’s their hotness that gets your attention, what keeps you interested beyond that?

When you think of your own self-image and looks, do you have expectations that you will be appealing to those you find attractive?

Do you think most people are realistic about the way they look and who they …

Continue reading Dating and your looks »

Are you high maintenance?

Men beware: High maintenance is a turn off. It’s becoming more and more common for a guy to be into his appearance, image, or his own personal needs. While these guys can be great to look at – and probably smell amazing – dating them can be a lot of work.

I’m not opposed to hard work but I think that at some point, the high maintenance type gets tiring. You grow tired of their egos, attitudes, and their growing list of demands.

What happens when two high maintenance people meet and date? I’ll tell you, their egos have a battle and somebody loses.

Have you ever dated someone who is high maintenance? What do you consider high maintenance?

Are you guilty of exhibiting a little high maintenance behavior? How do you keep it in check?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Are you high maintenance? »

Do you have a height preference?

It is often said that men are visual creatures, but a lot of women want their man to be visually appealing, especially when it comes to height. Sometimes a guy who is “height challenged” will get overlooked for a guy who is taller.

Would you have a problem dating someone who is significantly taller or shorter than you?

Why does it become such an issue when it comes to physical attraction?

Is it silly to have a height preference or does it rank up there with the other shallow reasons we use not to give someone a chance?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

Continue reading Do you have a height preference? »

Dating: Longer the wait, sweeter the reward

Have you ever delayed gratification for something and discovered how amazing it was to finally receive the reward for being so patient? The anticipation has intensified the desire so much, you are basically guaranteed to enjoy it.

I know this concept is not a popular one in today’s “microwave society” where it’s all about the instant…instant gratification, instant reward, instant disappointment? It’s not easy putting things on a slow track to build intensity and connection, but it can be worthwhile.

Sometimes when you are dating someone you really like, the thought of slowing things down and pacing the relationship is challenging. You want to spend all your free time with them. You want to know everything there is to know about them and what they are about right away.

I think we forget how fun it is to let things progress without a master plan of how it will all unfold. How do you pace your dating relationships so they won’t burn out too fast?

In your experience, does …

Continue reading Dating: Longer the wait, sweeter the reward »