You said the L-word, now what?
What do you do when the person you are seeing suddenly drops the L word on you? It wasn’t expected, nor was in return. How’s that for an awkward moment?!
I know a lot of guys that tell women they love them, so I’m a bit jaded when it comes to this kind of thing. While I believe in men saying it when they actually feel the emotion, a lot of times what they are really feeling is …caught up.
You know how it goes, she rocked your world and you barely know your name, let alone what you are saying! FYI – picking that moment to say it for the first time may be met with cynicism.
Everyone loves to hear the word LOVE, but does it immediately changes the relationship dynamic?
Have you use the L-word with someone early in the relationship? Did it bring you closer or did it make things too complicated?
How do you know when it’s the right time – and wrong time – to say” I love you”?
By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog
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126 comments Add your comment
Leggs
August 31st, 2011
11:38 am
@kimmie ~ heard the letter, but none of the responses. Made my child, her friend and my neighbor’s child late for school. Had to sign everyone in and get a tardy pass. Since I’m the parent to one, she got an “excused” tardy pass. The other two received a “tardy” pass. My head hurts.
czBrat
August 31st, 2011
11:40 am
Mdot … i loved kirk’s comparison to destroying a gift.
kimmie, i didn’t catch the part about her having attempted suicide several times. i know it’s kinda mean, but that just reminded me of seinfeld saying “now you’ve just found one more thing you’re not good at.”
i’ll go sit in the corner now.
Exiled!
August 31st, 2011
11:46 am
So y’all telling me if somebody puts out plan to achieve something by some date(putting pressure on themselves,yes) and they don’t achieve that,it’s Not failure!
Quit playing!
The societal pressure Mdot is talking about is his own interpretation,not the lady in question!
Yea,she’s a failure and she needs to look at hersf and try and see why.
How can u achieve something if u don’t have ambition for it?
And yea,people who are married and with kids at….
Ummm,never mind!
M. (pronouced M dot)
August 31st, 2011
11:46 am
@Kimmie
Good point.
I always say that sometimes the AA community looks down on the idea of therapy and counseling compared to other races. She definitely needs some help.
Kimmie you also made a point about how society views unmarried and childless women.
Question, how does society and women and the blog women view a man who is unmarried and kidless?
M. (pronouced M dot)
August 31st, 2011
11:48 am
@Kimmie
As in unmarried, I mean never married.
Leggs
August 31st, 2011
11:49 am
@M. ~ Coming across a man that is unmarried and childless I immediately think “wow, how did he accomplish that?” Then I immediately think, “is something wrong with his sperm?” Then, I immediately think “wow, this bro has been very careful!” Then, I immediately start to smile…(lol).
Leggs
August 31st, 2011
11:50 am
Dang, I too used unmarried like it was the right word.
M. (pronouced M dot)
August 31st, 2011
11:54 am
@Exiled
“The societal pressure Mdot is talking about is his own interpretation,not the lady in question!”
Apparently it is pressuring her because she does not have kids or is unmarried yet. Some people their entire goal is to be married with kids.
Exiled!
August 31st, 2011
11:57 am
Mdot!
some people their entire goal…be married and have kids..
which ain’t a bad thing at all!
If u don’t put pressure on yourself,whether it’s school,job,career whatever,u won’t get nowhere.
You get blown by the wind!
kimmie
August 31st, 2011
11:58 am
If I had never married (happily found my soulmate, not just married to be married) I would be disappointed but I would not consider myself a failure by any means. I wanted a companion, someone to share my life with and I found that. Yes I would be disappointed.
Even before becoming a stepmother, I have made a difference in the lives of many kids, including nieces & nephews, younger cousins and my goddaughters. I was going to adopt if I had not married a man with children.
I have alot of other things going on in my life that give me fulfillment.
Disappointed, not failed. But that’s my view.
kimmie
August 31st, 2011
12:02 pm
Exiled – I view what you are talking about as “ambition” or drive more than pressure. A little pressure directed in the right way can be okay, a lot can crush you, stress you.
But just semantics and my opinion.
Exiled!
August 31st, 2011
12:15 pm
Kimmie!
Landing a man(closing the deal) has an art to it. There us some inert science to that process!
And there are a lot of women who really want to get married(in their deepest of hearts) but can’t figure it out. Now,when they pout about it in the presence of loved ones,you and I and everybody else,we bound to give them some comforting words to allay and soften their disappointments.
Althoughdeep down we know,either she funky and don’t clean,can’t dress,can’t cook,argumentative and drives men crazy,talks with her mouf full of food,always gives it up kwik(lol),bluffs out the L word on first/second dates,gives guys ultimatums..and the list goes on.
Well,we dont say it loud coz we luv them but….
Blame it on her mama! She failed!
Purple Reign
August 31st, 2011
12:24 pm
I have the goal that I didn’t want. LOL I’m happy
Leggs
August 31st, 2011
12:31 pm
@PR ~ it was an unspoken goal of yours. That’ why God granted you the life you now have.
Confirmed Bachelor
August 31st, 2011
12:41 pm
L-word? Do tell, Loser? Lobber? Lobby? some many L-words, so little time.
Leggs
August 31st, 2011
12:41 pm
What’s a “lobber?”
Fion
August 31st, 2011
12:43 pm
Wow! Other than Gravity, Love is strongest force in the universe.
How could it possibly be a disruptive thing? Any misapplication is definitely User Error.
Leggs
August 31st, 2011
12:48 pm
Anybody watch the show “Take the Money and Run?” I have convinced myself that the contestants are paid off to throw the game. This show is a testament to human psychology, no doubt. What I don’t understand is why these pansies signed up for the show. Out of 5 episodes, only one has kept the money. This show is full of mindless, spineless twits!!!
Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)
August 31st, 2011
12:50 pm
I hate to sound like abc, but all it takes to fall in love is a pulse. If the heart is beating faster, then the “L” word can slip out. Not unlike a hard workout at the gym. And like the workout at the gym, if not followed up on, it is all for naught.
Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)
August 31st, 2011
12:54 pm
Speaking of tv shows, I’ve been so bored the last few weeks on Mondays that I have been watching Bachelor Pad. Drama queens and guys with agendas, mixed with romance, real or imagined. I need to start getting out more.
Leggs
August 31st, 2011
1:13 pm
@Randyt ~ No matter how bored I am, I refuse to watch Bachelor Pad. I just watch something I’ve programmed, even if I’ve seen it 3x already.
Leggs
August 31st, 2011
1:14 pm
Only 2 days after annoucing the lineup, complaints are coming in. http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=666994>1=28103
cba
August 31st, 2011
1:40 pm
Don’t think the L-WORD topic will appear in the future………..crickeeeeeeeeets
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 31st, 2011
1:40 pm
Are all tv shows reality, I’m sticking with science, tv land, and natgeo channels. And of course the NFL channel.
Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)
August 31st, 2011
1:40 pm
@ Leggs
Unfortunately my DVR doesn’t work in the Marriott…and I’ve already chewed all my fingernails down…and there are nothing but clowns and soundbites on all of the cable news shows…and I’m so sick of the food in the concierge lunge that I’m ready to throw up every night……… I watch the Mexican channels with the sound down and make up lines as they talk LOL.
Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)
August 31st, 2011
1:46 pm
You would be amazed at how X Rated those Hispanic channels are when you make up the words. I still have a bit of trouble when they cry all the time (at least one in every drama balling her eyes out) and what I should fill in though.
Exiled!
August 31st, 2011
1:46 pm
Order a porno Randyt!
Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)
August 31st, 2011
1:47 pm
I thought you didn’t believe in “organ solos” Exiled?
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 31st, 2011
1:51 pm
Chaz will be dancing with a woman. The lady Chaz is dancing with is ok with it so am I. She was actually a pretty little girl growing up. At the end of every show Sonny and Cher would bring her out in front of the cameras.
Exiled!
August 31st, 2011
1:51 pm
What’s organ solos?
If it were me ofcourse I wldnt watch porno alone coz I watch it to get ready!
if I’m watching porno,either she’s upstairs or in the shower getting ready or some. Just know some is brewing!
I wldnt get bored as long as they have soccer channels,English or even mexican or Spanish ,it don’t matter.
Sassy Me...In it to Win it ;-)
August 31st, 2011
1:51 pm
I thought you didn’t believe in “organ solos” Exiled?
I don’t know why…all I could do was
at that retort.. I needed a good laugh,too. Thanks Randy 
Leggs
August 31st, 2011
1:52 pm
That is really funny, Randyt. Are there any neighboring restaurants by the hotel? Do you have access to a car? Is there a fridge in your room? How long is your stay? Go to store and put your own items in the fridge.
@Ex ~ I consider you a functional sexaholic.
Sassy Me...In it to Win it ;-)
August 31st, 2011
1:54 pm
Blackfoote I saw Chaz and now with the facial hair n stuff I think she looks better as a man…I remember seeing her on old clips of her parents’ show and agree with you, she was a pretty little girl. She thinks that Brad n Angies little girl Shiloh and her are “fam”…
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 31st, 2011
1:57 pm
Sassy Me:
That hair on her/his face, now that is something that would make me stare a bit harder than I would like…….LOL
Exiled!
August 31st, 2011
1:59 pm
functional sexaholic:
Meelow at the podium,accepting his award.
Sassy Me...In it to Win it ;-)
August 31st, 2011
1:59 pm
Why stare?…if you didn’t already know his history you’d think he’s normal. Plus with enough male hormones anything is possible. I’m sure his voice has dropped an octave or two.
Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)
August 31st, 2011
2:01 pm
@ Leggs, yeah I can do all of the above. Monday is the tough one and I get L A Z Y. I need to hit the local bars I suppose, but sooner or later I’ll end up like the dudes in the “Driving While Under…” commercials. I’m an extrovert that is becoming a recluse…and don’t like it.
Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote
August 31st, 2011
2:12 pm
My brief stare will come from curiosity, then it would quickly revert back to my own business no half this or that and nothing fake. That’s my admiration he went all the way real.
Sassy Me...In it to Win it ;-)
August 31st, 2011
2:14 pm
I’m an extrovert that is becoming a recluse…and don’t like it.
Awww that sucks donkey butt…sorry to hear that Randy
{{{air hug}}}
Leggs
August 31st, 2011
2:16 pm
I can identify, Randyt.
Sassy Me...In it to Win it ;-)
August 31st, 2011
2:28 pm
I can identify to an extent…when I went to Mozambique earlier this year I only went to a few places to eat because I didn’t want to go too far from my hotel. The hotel food was hell-a-expensive and even though we were given plenty of per diem dollars I still wasn’t gonna pay for some glorified crap. Luckily there were some really good spots within walking distance but I noticed the food was basically the same wherever you went. Since I was only there for two weeks I made the best of it and still enjoyed my work and the whole experience. I’ll be going to Botswana next but don’t know exactly when.
Leggs
August 31st, 2011
2:29 pm
@Randyt ~ I’m trying to make sure I don’t become “a non-motherf…ing factor.”
That cracked me up!
Sassy Me...In it to Win it ;-)
August 31st, 2011
2:41 pm
a non-motherf…ing factor.”
oh no you didn’t I’m sure those t-shirts Evelyn had sold really quick..even though she claimed she didn’t make that many…that’s a catchy phrase that’ll cut you to the quick.
kimmie
August 31st, 2011
2:49 pm
Leggs/Sassy – Did you watch B Wives LA? They are the worst out of all of the “wives” series I think. I think they put the G in Ghetto!!
Sassy Me...In it to Win it ;-)
August 31st, 2011
2:52 pm
I keep missing it Kimmie bit I heard those are some gansta a** chicks. I knew what it was when I was watching the trailer for the series and one of the women said, “Yeah I’m f@#$ing her up ON SIGHT”..and I was like
daaaaaayum that’s how y’all west coast chicas get down…
Leggs
August 31st, 2011
2:56 pm
I have it taped. The little I did see, those are some rough women. They all look so hard! The one with the dreads looks like Spike Lee’s wife and his sister!
kimmie
August 31st, 2011
3:00 pm
Leggs – The dread one tried to act like she had some sense and use proper english. She was met with the high school “you think you betta than errbody else” mess from the others.
Sassy – Gangsters have more class. I mean really, there is not one really likeable in the bunch.
Confirmed Bachelor
August 31st, 2011
3:01 pm
Leggs:”Lobber” A large homemade slingshot for going the distance with large water balloons, fruit, Vegetables, or object under 20lbs. My favorite use is returning dog crap to it’s rightful owners.
kimmie
August 31st, 2011
3:02 pm
And that old Jackie Christie needs to sit herself down with that “having a wedding every year” mess. Don’t nobody want her tired, has-been, whipped-by-her husband!
Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)
August 31st, 2011
3:03 pm
Sorry all…just having a major case of ‘optic-rectitus’…where the nerves to one’s eye and the nerves to one’s azz get crossed and one ends up with a really $h!tty outlook on things. I really have it today. Tomorrow I’ll probably be better. Had a meeting just now with my managers and I think I scared them. They must have apologized a dozen times and they hadn’t done anything wrong. Fortunately I am in a place where they need me more than I need them so every once in awhile I can “define the boundaries” some