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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP
City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
City & State or ZIP

Would you relocate for love?

Listen, I’m a hopeless romantic as much as the next girl, but I don’t know how far I would go for love. For instance, could I move cross country? I just read one woman’s leap of faith that landed her across the country, without a job, or a place to live!

While it is easy to say that is something that could never happen to me, I actually admire the courage someone has to relocate. Taking a chance on love is already risky business! Would you be willing to rearrange your life and move to another city?

Things may not have worked out for the young lady, but at least she can say that she tried. That’s more than some of us ever do, really. What are you willing to risk for love?

Have you ever moved to another country or city to be with someone? Would you consider it at all?
Would you ask someone you were seeing to move with you? How serious would your relationship need to be, do you think?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

275 comments Add your comment

cba

August 30th, 2011
2:44 pm

Honestly, another person sexual orientation has no impact on me as long as you don’t approach me or mess with my money. Having said that, I think Hollywood is trying to force or pretend that Chaz and others like her/him is living a natural and “normal” life.

Purple Reign

August 30th, 2011
2:46 pm

cba, I guess the powers that be think that once there is enough familiarity that everyone will accept it.

Willie Dynamite

August 30th, 2011
2:46 pm

PR – I saw that. Also Beano Cook (ald Azz) picked UGA to goto the BCS Natl Champ game.

I’m down for the Pro pickem (yahoo) you want to be the commish? I’m sure we can get at least 10 folks from here to pick games weekly.

Leggs

August 30th, 2011
2:47 pm

Honestly, it should be stated before the first date. Let them make the decision….

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

August 30th, 2011
2:50 pm

I personally hope/pray to the Higher Power, that no one I date turns out ot have “beans and franks”. I hope it would never get past my radar/gaydar long before actually meeting. Nope, no beans, no franks.

SlimNu

August 30th, 2011
2:50 pm

I’ve seen a few documentaries or shows about folks that undergo sex changes. Many of the man women don’t disclose that fact until way on down in the dating timeline because from what a few said, they like Straight men…not gay men. There was an instance shown where the man-woman didn’t let his partner know about the change until they had already gotten emotionally involved. However, the guy ended up deciding to stay with the man-woman after finally being told. I guess after that much time, why not go ahead and stay with him. What would you guys do if that happened to you?

SexyCool

August 30th, 2011
2:54 pm

I saw a show recently where a guy killed the transsexual that he married because he wasn’t told until they were on their honeymoon. Buddy has been in jail for damn near 30 years or so.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

August 30th, 2011
2:55 pm

…past, present, or future. Nope.

Jake: Sweet Peeda Jeeda, TWB

August 30th, 2011
2:56 pm

Weekly Reader,

When I say extra rights, I mean the approach of the community. You commented that maybe some of us were attempting to over compensate…but really, no one was speaking negatively or spewing any kind of hate…the LGBT community complains that they are persecuted, which at one time was true, but really if you are gay you are gay and have at it…but the comparisions to the Civil Rights movement are inaccurate, to think that anyone who does not want to be subjected to that is inherently prejudiced is inaccurate…as Purp stated its really the flamboyancy that bothers people, all the men dressing as women, women dressing as men, etc is what offends some….what anybody does in their bedroom is their business, the LBGT community wants the world to know that they do this and expect others not to form any opinion, though its forced into conscious…the flags, stickers, parades, nipple patches, men in 6inch heels, azz out jeans, etc…why must so many make their lifestyle fodder for public commentary…then turn around and call me prejudice for not liking it…As the great philospher of hip-hop, Common once said, “if I don’t like it, I don’t like, that don’t mean that I’m hatin”

Purple Reign

August 30th, 2011
2:57 pm

I will play but I don’t want to be the commish I have 5 to many Fantasy Leagues I am in. I don’t know College Football that much but I did pick Auburn to win it all last year after watching one of their games. LOL Let me get a good weekend of SEC football in and I will give a prediction. I do know the champion will come from the SEC or maybe FSU may win it all.

Willie Dynamite

August 30th, 2011
2:58 pm

ummm maybe I’m a chauvinist but its no way in heyal I could get emotionally invested before I THOROUGHLY engaged in some Adult activities. You might fool me at the light for a quick min but thats bout it. nawwwwww man

Willie Dynamite

August 30th, 2011
3:01 pm

Purp – give me a few days and I will set it up if no one else steps up as commish.

Purple Reign

August 30th, 2011
3:01 pm

Jake, I wonder how gay people would react if there was a straight bumper sticker, tshirts, weekends or parades etc?

SexyCool

August 30th, 2011
3:02 pm

The gay pride machine is an interesting vehicle.

I agree with Jake in that the push for gay rights is not like the Civil Rights Movement. Because quite frankly, at its core, the Civil Rights Movement was about economic empowerment and equality.

Please believe that the GP move is not hurting for money.

SexyCool

August 30th, 2011
3:03 pm

Speaking of college football, does anyone know when ESPN is bringing College GameDay to Atlanta this year?

SlimNu

August 30th, 2011
3:04 pm

Willie – From what i hear, a doctor can really manipulate the skin to look better than a real cooch. I think they had already been intimate before though and guy thought nothing of it. I mean really, who sits back to question if the person they are with that sounds, looks and acts like the opposite sex, is really biologically the opposite sex? Unless some red flags go up, I probably wouldn’t question it either. It seems to me that Hawaiin folks and dudes from Thailand have features that make it harder to spot a fake. They have some beautiful men :lol:

D Dub of the MSP (formerly D Dub of the ATL)

August 30th, 2011
3:05 pm

Hello all… no time to read everyone’s posts today, but I wanted to chime in for a second because I am one of those people that moved cross country… got married, and got divorced 492 days later. I know I have eluded to this in here before, but basically the woman I married was sleeping with a co-worker the entire time we were married – and now after the dust has settled, I discovered that I married someone I didn’t really know primarily because we were in different cities and I only got to see what she portrayed to me instead of what was really going on. Needless to say there was a reason she had to import a dude willing to marry her.

The only thing I can say is without risk there is rarely any reward. I was burned on this more than I could ever imagine, but on the flipside I have learned a lot about myself and have grown by leaps and bounds personally and professionally as I come up on living here three years in October. I’d rather be where I am than sitting in Atlanta wondering what could have been.

One bad outcome of this experience I think is my ex has made it incredibly harder for the next one to get close to me. My internal struggle right now is dealing with trying to balance that open trusting self that I once was with the “trust no-one” mantra I adopted once I caught wind of what she had been doing behind my back… it should make for an interesting book.

My 2 cents

August 30th, 2011
3:09 pm

Would I relocate for Love!!!! Only if, and it’s a BIG IF, we were already living together and they got a job transfer! Would I relocate for Love in a long distance relationship??? I don’t think I would! Long distance relationships don’t work for me as I require WAY TOO MUCH attention! :-) The only thing I would do is MAYBE move accross town if I was a renter! Move out of state, sell my house and move, quit my job and move – more than likely NOT!

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

August 30th, 2011
3:11 pm

@ D Dub…feel for you. Nothing worse in this world than trust betrayed…only one that I am aware of ever was unfaithful while with me (engagement not marriage), but it takes almost as much out of you when they break it off and are in bed before you have time to turn around. Even if they aren’t unfaithful before they break up, sometimes they have already found another lily pad to hop to. I feel your truat issues, it leaves almost permanent and sometimes permanent scars.

Purple Reign

August 30th, 2011
3:11 pm

D Dub, it’s good that you are not scorned after going through all of that.

SlimNu, how does a doctor make “it” be able to get wet. And there would be no “red” flags because the shim would not be able to have a period. Also how does a doctor make a woman into a man be able to have an erection. Being a man is more than farting and scatching your balls.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

August 30th, 2011
3:14 pm

@ D Dub, as I was explaining to my current lady, a man needs someone in his life who he knows he can trust when he pulls off the “man armor”. I’ve been lucky enough to have it, and been unlucky enough to not have it. Men hesitate to show vulnerabiltiy under the best of circumstances…one bad experience can keep those walls up for a lifetime sometimes.

Leggs

August 30th, 2011
3:18 pm

Awwww, so sorry, D Dub you had to go through that. I despite conniving men and women. Eventually, that lie you live will come out and bite you in the a$$. It behooves me that so many feel it’s ok for them to take the heart of another and play with it. There’s a reason so many of us are walking solo.

WhenThedustSettles

August 30th, 2011
3:19 pm

I would move for love…if I had a job already lined up. As a matter of fact I’m dating someone who lives out of state and its getting serious. I was married for 23 yrs and moved all over the world with my spouse for “love” and it still didn’t work out. Love is a leap of faith, but you have to be smart about it. If I should decide to move for love, I have the common sense to ensure that I have a job already lined up. I don’t think anyone should just jump up and move because they’re in love if they’re not financially solvent. Most couples today have to pool their resources even if they live in the same city. I love my man, but I love myself first.

Leggs

August 30th, 2011
3:19 pm

@PR ~ is that another joke, because he is somewhat scorned??? Bitter maybe not, but scorned, yeah.

SlimNu

August 30th, 2011
3:20 pm

Purp – Those are all some very good questions but problem is I don’t have any answers for you. Regarding a doctor making a wang into a cootie, I think it’s easier to go from man to chick parts than woman to dude parts.

SlimNu

August 30th, 2011
3:23 pm

Men hesitate to show vulnerabiltiy under the best of circumstances

Randyt – That seems to be the truth…the beau and I were talking about that last night and he claims he’s never been hurt before like that. He said he even gives me the side-eye at times. It can be frustrating for a person that is actually worthy of being trusted.

Purple Reign

August 30th, 2011
3:24 pm

Leggs, I don’t think he is scorned because it reads as if he is willing to try again..it’s just that it would be hard for someone to get close to him. Bitter would me that he is not even thinking about it. IMO

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

August 30th, 2011
3:26 pm

I worked with a guy that had a penile implant once. He could pump it up and she would ride until she was tired and he would let the air out. Worked for him but I always wondered if there was any feeling there…and didn’t feel like asking…TMI even for me.

Weekly Reader

August 30th, 2011
3:26 pm

So LGBT community should not want to live in a society that does not discrimate on them based on their sexual orientation? They should be OK with not having the same legal rights that married people have when it comes to the person that they chose to spend their lives with…They should be OK with being run out of the military for nothing other than who they choose to be intimate with…. The Police should be able to bust into a gay nightclub and put everyone face down on the floor right??? And the civil rights movement was about more than economic access… The same discrimination that so many great people fought and died to prevent is now being turned on another minority… And its no more right now than it was then….

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

August 30th, 2011
3:30 pm

Yeah Slim. I’m as open a guy as you will find, but under the best of circumstances, I’m a little afraid of showing vulnerability (even though men grow weary of the facade no matter how much bravado we display). It is just so hard to trust when someone has used that trust against you. As bad as it sounds, it seems that women have a lot more experience with betrayal and seem like they can deal with it better than a man. Not fair that it should lean in either direction, but men really have a hard time with betrayal.

cba

August 30th, 2011
3:33 pm

The air at QTrip is free lol

SexyCool

August 30th, 2011
3:34 pm

Weekly Reader – when it comes to what was at the ROOT of the Civil Rights Movement, we will agree to disagree.

But I can promise you this, I would bet everything you own that MLK would never have been able to make a racist apologize or bow down to the Black community in the same way that the gay community can instill fear in the likes of any celebrity/public personality that utters anything that can even be considered silghtly homophobic.

As to whether or not members of the gay community should have any expectation of rights, anyone can have any expectation they want to.

SlimNu

August 30th, 2011
3:34 pm

Randy – As far as the implant goes, seems it isn’t much different than a battery operated toy to have a guy that has to pump, pump, pump it up in order to perform. Then I wonder if he’s able to climax under those circumstances.

Weekly Reader

August 30th, 2011
3:38 pm

So cool… so That community should not want the SAME freedoms and rights that you and I have? Nothing extra nothing less…

Beatrice Kiddo

August 30th, 2011
3:39 pm

I’m sure that the members of NAMBLA would love to have an expectation that some day their practices, beliefs, urges that they consider natural would be acceptable and be supported by laws that grant them rights. You can go to their website and it is clearly stated regarding their desires to “end oppression.”

It seems as if the line that is drawn in society’s sand about what is right or wrong, discrimination or not, is erased and redrawn based on at what point a society is in its beliefs regarding of a particular subject and its ability to accept those beliefs.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

August 30th, 2011
3:40 pm

@ Weekly. One of the thinsgs that makes the LGBT problem hard to accept is that one is talking about a “lifestyle” rather than a race. That said, I guess most people don’t care much anymore compared to what our youth and uprbringing taught us. Gays are accepted now in a way that was unimaginable just a decade or so ago. My company’s monthly newsletter had pictures of a “partner” of one of our female employees celebrating her receiving a degree of some kind. That by itself demonstrates how different the definition of “acceptable” has become. There is sometimes a perception in the straight community that gay issues have so saturated the news and media that we grow tired of it sometimes. NPR must have a dozen major news stories a week about some gay issue, even though the general belief is that less than 5% or so of the population is gay. An example of how this all can be misconstrued was when Ellen degerous came out. Her show lost popularity not because she was gay, but that gay issues were the center of the plots and it just wan’t as funny and entertaining anymore. What can be be often be misconstrued as sexual bigotry is often just a lack of interest. Most straights accept gays, they just don’t want every news story to be about it.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

August 30th, 2011
3:42 pm

sorry for the typos meant “Degenerous” and “wasn’t as funny”.

cba

August 30th, 2011
3:43 pm

There was a lady on the Warren Ballentine show today and she said she would have sex with her husband 5 or 6 HRS a day,,,a day and he still cheated. Maybe he had that penile implant….a day!
She said he was addicted to variety. Hell, he need to have his DNA analyze.

Leggs

August 30th, 2011
3:44 pm

@PR ~ I stand corrected. Scorn a bit too harsh since he’s gingerly still stepping into the world of dating.

Randyt (aka Been There, Done That, Got a Closet FULL of T-Shirts)

August 30th, 2011
3:46 pm

@cba re: “5 or 6 HRS a day”…now I’m really depressed, thanks LOL. What was the old joke about the farmer who hooked himself up to the new milking machine…”feed him and fan him because it’s set for six gallons”.

SexyCool

August 30th, 2011
3:48 pm

The only legal right that I can see that gay individuals in this country is denied is that to marry. And if they want to do so, then by all means, I believe that they should go right ahead.

As to the other examples of discrimination that you gave, I can attest to the fact that while the Civil Rights Movement resulted in great strides being made, it did not erase discrimination or racism.

And as certain as those actions and beliefs remain blights against society as a whole, gays being allowed the rights of marriages will do little to make it acceptable to those who deem it unacceptable.

And please believe that should something happen in an “urban” club that requires the police to respond, every Black person in the room will be face down on the dance floor while the police gain controll of the situation. The only difference is, it won’t make the news and there will be little chance of a multi-million dollar settlement.

Purple Reign

August 30th, 2011
3:48 pm

You can’t choose your ethnic group (civil rights) but you can sure choose your lifestyle. If you choose to live a certain way deal with it and the choice you made.

Weekly Reader

August 30th, 2011
3:52 pm

Randy if It were just a matter of dis interest, then it would be one thing, But I have a gay brother and I see the struggle that he has endured… He was a Captain in the US Army that had been to Iraq twice and was preparing to go to Afganistan… Had served his country proudly for 13 years and then was booted form the military because it was found out that he was gay… Served in teh infantry for 13 YEARS!!! Fighting for a country that was so willing to dismiss him as some guy that likes dudes… If he had been injured in teh war, His life partner would not have legally had a say so in his care because he can not marry…I will not paint with a wide brush on this, But Pic up the paper and read how many piliticians would like to change the constitution to add that kind of discrimination to it. Please tell me that you would have the same kind of indifference if the there was a push to change the constitution to outlaw interracial marriage….

cba

August 30th, 2011
3:56 pm

Randyt, I’m not depressed because all I can think……yo wang won’t have any skin left. After 5 or 6 hrs, I’m sure there wouldn’t be any moisture left. As Richard Pryor said once…..that “boy” can lie his azz off LOL

Weekly Reader

August 30th, 2011
3:58 pm

Purple You are in denial…. As straight person I can say with all honesty that I never chose to be straight, I just am…. I was raised in a home with two parents and 4 Brothers and sisters… one of my brothers is gay… played football went to college to play ball in fact… Served in the Army for 13 years… He did not chose to be gay anymore than we chose to be black…

SexyCool

August 30th, 2011
3:59 pm

Well, color me unaware. I thought they did away with that gay military stuff years ago. Who knew?
Okay, yeah…they should fix that too.

But again, my point, just because something is made legal, just because you are given the legal right to do a thing, does not mean that it will be accepted, celebrated, embraced.

Homophobia, discrimination against, persecution of gays will not go away with the stroke of a pen. Because…those that have the capacity to feel, believe, think, act that way anyway will just get craftier with it.

It would really be nice if we could just buy the world a Coke and keep it company and teach everyone to hold hands and sing Kumbaya. But it’s not happening. The world does not work that way. And that does not make me against gay rights, it just makes me a realist.

Purple Reign

August 30th, 2011
4:00 pm

Sucks for your brother but those actions happened to him for the choices that he made knowingly. He knew the military’s stance on gays before he joined so he has nobody to blame but himself.

Leggs

August 30th, 2011
4:01 pm

“Had served his country proudly for 13 years and then was booted form the military because it was found out that he was gay…”

I have never understood this. What difference does it make in the big scheme of things. Why boot someone who has successfully help keep America safe. I don’t understand. After 13 years, what are you afraid of?

Jake: Sweet Peeda Jeeda, TWB

August 30th, 2011
4:02 pm

Weekly Reader,

No and No to those examples of systematic discrimination that you just described…but gays should be able to enter into a marriage-type contract, but not a marriage. A marriage has biblical origins, and the sinful coupling of the same-sex should not be called a marriage if you want to be technical about…The Police bustin in the place was wrong, but wrong cause it was wrong, not wrong cause the Patrons were gay, been happening for years in every kind of bar….hey reader, as a Black man, I cannot hide that I am black, its overt, its apparent, its reconizable upon viewing me, someone’s sexual orientation becomes known by that person’s own volunteerism of the information…two totally different situations, no matter what you tell yourself….Unless you are fuggin in the streets, I don’t have to know someone is gay, I can’t hide my skin color. Honestly, I think discrimination is bad in all its forms, but there is a level of responsibility that the LGBT community should accept in creating some of issues that make the topic so contentious…

let me give you a clear example…so I go to the I-Bar in East Atlanta one night, I go out to the patio on the back and the bar next door caters to the gay community, I happen to look over and there is a dude standing out there in nothing but speedo’s and pink running shoes at 1am like that ish normal…so I guess I am not to think nothing about it even though it forced me to view something that’s disturbing to say the least, if you that way, be that way…but be respectful of other people. Give it, Get it..Its called public decency!!!
The problem is that the issue harkens back to each individuals Morals and beliefs, being raised in the church I know to , “hate the sin, not the sinner” so everybody all good with me, I am not the final judge. and BTW, Homosexualilty is not a Felony Sin, its not on its own scale or anything, its like stealing or anything other.

Leggs

August 30th, 2011
4:04 pm

@PR ~ no need for him to blame himself. He thought your life and the life of others was more important than his own sexual preference. He wanted to protect America, gays, straight, homeless, everyone!