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Abstinent? Clue your date in

It’s not the kind of thing you really want to talk about on the very first date. Your sexual activity..or lack thereof, shouldn’t be a focal point when you are just getting to know somebody. At least, that has always been my opinion.

My guy friend disagrees. He thinks before one date is planned, a guy deserves to know if he is interested in someone who is abstinent. Apparently, this would “change the game” and a lot of men should be able to make an informed decision.

I would argue, though, how much information should be shared that quickly? I mean, unless that is the only thing you are really interested in anyway?

Should you clue your date in about your celibacy? Is it anyone’s business if you are not in a relationship with them?

How do you tell someone you are abstaining? What do you say and when?

Should you be able to inquire about their sexual habits, i.e. the number of partners, etc.?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

252 comments Add your comment

DreamsMaterialize

August 29th, 2011
4:15 pm

sorry for the bold

Exiled!

August 29th, 2011
4:15 pm

but to me,a prior pudy pounding is a prior pudy pounding.

Don’t matter to me that u say now u with Jesus.

If u gave it up,it’s over.

No spiritual virgin here!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 29th, 2011
4:16 pm

Purple never, I would feel guilty and afraid to touch her.

Jake: Sweet Peeda Jeeda, TWB

August 29th, 2011
4:16 pm

Exiled, agreed…that walk is is not easy one,so those who choose it better choose wisely when they move forward.

Purple Reign

August 29th, 2011
4:17 pm

Dreams, how do I tell her on the first date that I like to wear a tickle me elmo mask while having sex?

Leggs

August 29th, 2011
4:17 pm

Has anyone on this blog ever seen a Deron Cloud production? To the point, the production of Boyfriend/Girlfriend Thing. I think that’s the name of it. It is a powerful play for all teenager’s to see pertaining to sex and. Even a discussion of the hymen. Lots of songs, but when you really listen to the meaning, you’ll look at the song differently. Started out with “secret lovers” with us popping our fingers, while later on in the production, the same song came on and ws met with utter silence…check him out if you can…real, real, real deep!

Leggs

August 29th, 2011
4:18 pm

@PR ~ LOL..I was playing with the words “first time” and “experience of a slut” No such thing!

Purple Reign

August 29th, 2011
4:20 pm

Leggs, yes there is. Some people are naturals, don’t hate! LOL

Leggs

August 29th, 2011
4:22 pm

Alrighty then. I’ll take my born again, uneducated ears stage left…

Purple Reign

August 29th, 2011
4:23 pm

Leggs, I am sure when you get back in the groove you will have seemed like you have not missed a beat

Purple Reign

August 29th, 2011
4:24 pm

I wonder if anyone would ever admit that they suck in bed. I mean everyone is not good at it I wonder if anyone ever admits it…or do they just rool the dice and hope for the best. How do you tell someone that they are subpar?

Leggs

August 29th, 2011
4:25 pm

But of course, PR…I know what, how, when, postions! It’s like riding a bike…one doesn’t forget. I’m not worried! :wink:

Leggs

August 29th, 2011
4:26 pm

I sucked my first time (no pun intended)….whew that was funny!

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 29th, 2011
4:26 pm

PR…Jessica is a lil sk*nk isn’t she? :lol: And last night has me anxious for next week’s episode. I can’t believe there are only 2 more for the season. I will be in Fanger Withdrawal!

Leggs

August 29th, 2011
4:27 pm

How do you tell someone that they are subpar? One sure fire way is to keep making excuses (if you don’t care about the person). If you care, you talk with them and then you teach them.

SexyCool

August 29th, 2011
4:27 pm

I am actually quite appreciative of the fact that I have not had children before now. I can honestly say that it has only been in the last year or two that I believe that I am emotionally prepared and have enough life experience under my belt to be able to somewhat properly “raise” a child.

A certain level of sexual knowledge, maturity and responsibility are now a part of my life that would not have been had a been a mother too soon.

How does that fit into this conversation? Prior to having certain experiences, I did not give enough thought to my own motivations for why I did or did not have sex. Had I been better prepared for dating and sex/sexuality on the outset, I would have indulged less, thought more and had better sex all along. It is a gift that I hope to be able to give the child that I may one day have.

Purple Reign

August 29th, 2011
4:28 pm

There are only 2 more? I think Sookis is the biggest skank. I’m glad Eric is back, oh yeah Alcide’s woman is a skank too. Um since when did Vampires need bazooka’s? LOL

Purple Reign

August 29th, 2011
4:29 pm

SexyCool

August 29th, 2011
4:29 pm

O/T – I’m beginning to lean more towards an elopement.

Leggs

August 29th, 2011
4:31 pm

@SC ~ GO FOR IT! You can have a small reception when you get back at your new home. It’s not necessarily about the wedding, but it’s all about the marriage to one another!!!

Purple Reign

August 29th, 2011
4:32 pm

SexyCool with the sobering post. I chalk your experience up to being responsible in your actions instead of being non accountable. Kudos to you because it’s a vagina not a clown car!

Exiled!

August 29th, 2011
4:33 pm

How do u tell them they’re sub par?

Hit it one time and quit! :lol:

Jake: Sweet Peeda Jeeda, TWB

August 29th, 2011
4:34 pm

At you BloodSuckers will get more……I am so upset that Entourage is in its Final Season, that is my favorite fuggin show!!

Leggs

August 29th, 2011
4:34 pm

“…a vagina not a clown car!” I think I’ve read it all now.

Super8

August 29th, 2011
4:35 pm

Leggs

August 29th, 2011
4:36 pm

O/T – I heard a politician call another a mo fo. My child and I both looked at each other and busted out laughing.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 29th, 2011
4:37 pm

“I sucked my first time”
Why is this sticking out and above everything.

Purple Reign

August 29th, 2011
4:37 pm

It’s football season!

Purple Reign

August 29th, 2011
4:38 pm

Nancy Grace is going to be on Dancing With The Stars…I hope she breaks something and something terrible happens to her.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 29th, 2011
4:38 pm

@ Leggs. The problem with a clumsy lover is that it isn’t like one can say, “okay I need some help in this, maybe I can take a night class at UGA”. The best way is to find a lover who has patience and willing to instruct. I was fortuante to have that early in my “adult” career from an older and more experienced woman. She did not say I was bad. Actually she said I was very good but that “practice makes perfect”. She taught me where and how to touch, to taste, to linger with a slow hand, and when to speed up. She taught me how to locate the g-spot and what to do with it…. As there were more ladies in my life, I learned from each, watching, noticing,etc. I really got to know a woman’s body…ALL OF IT…and it seems to have been appreciated ;-)

At the end of the day men need to know this. The most errogenous part of a woman’s body is (drum roll please), the area directly between the ears. It’s not rocket science if one is a willing learner.

Leggs

August 29th, 2011
4:38 pm

@Because ~ you’re wanting to make a deposit. Go back under the stairs.

Purple Reign

August 29th, 2011
4:38 pm

BlackFoote, I wanted to ask if she actually did suck her first time but I thought better of it.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 29th, 2011
4:39 pm

Ok y’all too much for my brain to disect today, a vagina and a clown car……LOL

Purple Reign

August 29th, 2011
4:40 pm

Randyt your 4:38 sounds like you were molested…it’s okay but you were a victim and she brainwashed you into thinking she was doing you a favor. LOL

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 29th, 2011
4:42 pm

@ PR There was a movie in the 60’s that said…”in every man’s life, there is a summer of ‘42″. She was my “Summer of ‘42″ and I will always be grateful ;-)

SexyCool

August 29th, 2011
4:43 pm

As I became more comfortable with my own body and more confident in my sexuality, I believe that I became a better bed partner. (I know I began enjoying it more.)

Leggs

August 29th, 2011
4:43 pm

@RandyT ~ like I said if the person cared, they’re teach (patience included). She cared for you and took the patience. Pat yourself on the back that you had a good teacher.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 29th, 2011
4:44 pm

Leggs

August 29th, 2011
4:45 pm

@BF ~ that “Because” post was for you. Don’t know why I typed “Because.”

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 29th, 2011
4:45 pm

Face palm, tears are streaming, trying not to distract my co-workers, and a head ache too much……….LOL

SexyCool

August 29th, 2011
4:48 pm

I’m a year and two days out.

I Love You – 8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning – 08.31.12!

What to do? What to do?

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 29th, 2011
4:49 pm

@ Leggs…and when all else fails, the “Venus Butterfly” always works best. Nite y’all ;-)

Exiled!

August 29th, 2011
4:49 pm

Became a better bed partner!

@Scool?

So u some freak in bed?

SexyCool

August 29th, 2011
4:51 pm

Leggs

August 29th, 2011
4:51 pm

@SC ~ nice number. And I played 829 today midday and eve.

Purple Reign

August 29th, 2011
4:51 pm

Leggs, Eddie Long was a gentle teacher to them boys they said. Does he really care about them?

SexyCool

August 29th, 2011
4:51 pm

Just means that I learned to stop hogging all the covers and not to sleep in the middle of the bed.

Purple Reign

August 29th, 2011
4:53 pm

Sexy Cool, too bad that you are on the road to marriage now. I can’t joke the way I normally would. LOL

Exiled!

August 29th, 2011
4:55 pm

If u gone in there completely nekkid or barely,with no nikkas,then u my gal.

Coz it must just pop when ur skin touches mine.

And ladies,the biggest aphrodisiac is not to say ‘ No’ when in the cut.

‘no’ on my nerves!

Leggs

August 29th, 2011
4:56 pm

@PR ~ he cared to the point he got what he sought from them.