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City & State or ZIP Tonight, this weekend, May 5th...
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First Dates: Clothes and Conversations

One of my guy friends had a first date with a young lady last weekend. He met her at a religious function so he was a bit taken aback at how she was when they went out. Apparently, she was dressed provocatively, something he thought inappropriate for someone her age (ouch?), especially on a first date.

He went on describe the way she used profanity, made several sexual remarks, and pretty much made him blush. Admittedly, my friend is super conservative and in my opinion high strung. However, the fact that he expected someone he met at a religious function to behave in a certain way, isn’t completely unreasonable. At the same time, are first date impressions reliable?

I do have to wonder, though, if we often meet people and have some preconceived ideas of how they should act or behave. Was the young lady projecting one image, yet behaved in a way that contradicted that? Perhaps, she was. However, should she get ruled out by the first date clothes and conversation?

Do you think we should judge a book by its cover and the first few pages of the book? If you were bothered the way someone behaved on the first date, do you grant a second one?

Do you ever think about the way dress on a first date? Are you careful about what you discuss or talk about?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

265 comments Add your comment

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2011
11:19 am

I like some sexiness, and a little profanity wont freak me out. It just wasn’t a match so both can move on, nothing wrong with that.

i'm swiss™

August 24th, 2011
11:24 am

Now, if you want a real FA-REAK, get yourself a preacher’s daughter. Bat-sh!t crazy, usually, but man there is some powerful repressed freakiness there, just waiting to be unleashed behind closed doors. :lol:

kimmie

August 24th, 2011
11:25 am

BMW – I find most super-holy to be the most judgemental folks you’ll ever meet. And a lot have, as my mom used to say, done everthing they are big enough to do, and that’s all caught up with them. So they gotta make it right with God and suddenly everybody around them is a heathen!

Those that are truly spiritual and walk the walk, do so without having to advertise the fact to everyone. They just are. Their life and how they live it and treat others shows their faith. They don’t have to boast about it or put others down. They are the type one should be seeking if that’s whats important in a mate.

Church is a hospital for sinners. So don’t be surprised if that person you meet is early in their spiritual journey!

Purple Reign

August 24th, 2011
11:25 am

Swiss, I think the fa-reaks are divorced women or women who cheat on their man. Even more so than preachers daughters.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2011
11:27 am

Morning Folks:
What’s up Purp.

Purple Reign

August 24th, 2011
11:29 am

kimmie, I agree. If people were so put together they would not need to go to church. Church is where you go to get right and maintain. Just because you are in “church” does not mean that you are a model citizen or the standard of dating. LOL, soooo folks should not go to church looking for the perfect mate…but if you go to church just for a mate something is really wrong with that scenario. “Hey, what was the sermon about?” “I don’t know but I bet that girl on the front row with those heels and tight shirt has some good puddy!” LOL

Purple Reign

August 24th, 2011
11:31 am

Blackfoote, nothing much just hanging out with the blog family. I got some nice emails last week that I was missed. I’m such a sucker because they made me feel good. LOL

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2011
11:31 am

“Church is a hospital for sinners”.
That make sense Kimmie. I’m Not saying all but a good many.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2011
11:34 am

Yeah Purple the ladies were somewhat sadden you were gone so long. You’ll need to give advance notice from now on…….LOL

abc

August 24th, 2011
11:37 am

Provocative dress is counter to a Christian ethic, check Timothy 2:9. Deuteronomy states that for a woman to wear men’s clothing or a man to wear women’s clothing is an abomination unto the Lord. Do I personally care what someone wears? Not so much, but the getups a bunch of chicks show up wearing in the corporate workplace causes me some eye rolls. On one hand, cocktail dresses; on the other hand, flip flops and ready for a picnic. Men are often dressed like slobs. It’s a bit appalling, but I’m like, what do I care really? They just make me look better, as far as being appropriately dressed goes.

Vulgar language is what it is. If you don’t like it, then avoid people who use it. If a person professes to be Christian but is vulgar and profane in a constant way, talk to them about it. Chances are, they’d rather not be inconsistent with their beliefs.

kimmie

August 24th, 2011
11:37 am

Purple – I was raised going to church regularly. We were not super-holy, but it was a part of our lives and a very positive part I might add. We did and do a lot for the surrounding community and the elderly and the children, especially those less fortunate.

I visit other churches from time to time with my friends. I was going thru a rough time in my life once and visited a buddy’s church that was very popular. It was like a meat market! Granted there were some handsome men there, but that was not where my head was at the time. I was so irritated and mad at myself because I knew that church had a rep for being like that. At the time, I was looking for spiritual inspiration, not a date!

Purple Reign

August 24th, 2011
11:38 am

Blackfoote, I am scared to ask about their workout schedule. LOL I had to take a little more than a week of 18-20 hours days to reap crop. I am so sore it makes no sense.

i'm swiss™

August 24th, 2011
11:41 am

“I think the fa-reaks are divorced women or women who cheat on their man. Even more so than preachers daughters”

Purple — If you’re interested, I can introduce you to a divorced preacher’s daughter who was a bisexual swinger. :lol:

Purple Reign

August 24th, 2011
11:42 am

kimmie, yep. Go for the sermon and yourself. When I see people at church dressed a certain way, looking hungover etc. I say to myself “at least they are here” they could be in a lot worse places but at this moment in time they came to church just as they are and once they get the word in them maybe that would influence them to come sober or etc. I think more people would participate if others weren’t so quick to judge them on where they are in life when they do come.

Purple Reign

August 24th, 2011
11:43 am

Swiss, purely for research purposes I will like to meet you friend that is a divorced preacher’s daughter who is bisexual. LOL

Exiled!

August 24th, 2011
11:47 am

Kimmie!

If that chic went on date with me dressed and talking like Wise describes then we would have taken it to the house!(fast forwarding like it’s date 3 already)

Then I wld possibly go to a different church after that! :lol: avoiding any possible potential fall out.

You don’t want a public tongue lashing at church,of all places.

Church dude chose the wrong candidate in my view. He should have screened the church ladies better.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2011
11:51 am

20 hour days, you’re the Man.

Swiss I went out with a preachers daughter, seemed no different than any other woman to me. They do carry a mystic about them, but away from the crongregation she was just as wild.

Celisea

August 24th, 2011
12:02 pm

Morning,

I see this is as yet another opportunity to bash church folks. It’s equally judgemental to believe all church folks are hypocrites. It’s self justification to be happy when you see “so called” church folks doing what you do. There is no difference. If they’re doing what you do and go to church and if you’re doing what they do and don’t who’s to say who is better or better off. How about we leave the judging to God. Really though I wonder when folks will get it…..CHURCH IS FOR SINNERS. So if it’s the wh@re, the pimp, the prostitute, the freak, the liar, the robber, the killer, the woman that swears like a sailor that’s all found at church…all I can say is yaaaaah. No better place to be for getting it right. At least they aren’t all of the aforementioned and NOT going to church. It takes a lifetime to walk the walk. In doing how about we learn and understand the hills the valleys the highs the lows and ups and downs, the stumbles yet getting back up. I tell you, most judgemental folks are the ones that don’t go to church and mad at the folks that do.

Celisea

August 24th, 2011
12:03 pm

Afternoon rather….I typed the post on the other side of noon but someone walked up and started talking.

Celisea

August 24th, 2011
12:04 pm

And really, if you’re already “saved” and a “good person” walking in, God ain’t listening to you. The church is the hospital for the needy and those that know this. Now THAT’S the hypocrite. Already saved before God can save you.

Celisea

August 24th, 2011
12:06 pm

On topic: Be a lady at all times.

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 24th, 2011
12:13 pm

“On topic: Be a lady at all times

Well…being a lady in the bedroom is lame! :lol:

Purple Reign

August 24th, 2011
12:15 pm

If you aren’t a lady in the bedroom what are you a man? Now that would be gay! LOL

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2011
12:17 pm

Celisea:
I already done messed up with my spelling for the day. I hear ya, that is easiest the way to go is to be a lady. What’s disturbing is hearing women call each other the B word or claiming I am a whore. Claiming she is a whore, I would say that person needs an intervention but I wont judge.

BlackMagicWoman...in NYC

August 24th, 2011
12:19 pm

Hellooooooo….lady in the streets,….freak in the bed! Duh! :lol:

Willie Dynamite

August 24th, 2011
12:20 pm

Afternoon All,

In a nutshell whats the problem? Dude is dating and had a swing and a miss. Welcome to the club. Just because he met her at Church is she suppose to be one way or another? If anything buddy needs to realign his expectations with reality. Just because Church is involved everyone is not going to fit into his perfect box.

Purple Reign

August 24th, 2011
12:21 pm

BMW, I’m sorry that freak thing falls under the lady umbrella to me. All lady’s are freaks you just have to bring it out of some of them moreso than others. :)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2011
12:21 pm

BMW:
What you know about that?

Celisea

August 24th, 2011
12:22 pm

Blackfoote – If I gotta explain what “being a lady” means then….. All I can say is it’s not some uptight chick with her shirt buttoned to her ears that don’t know how to lean back and have a nice time. You don’t have to go way left and ho it out to prove otherwise either.

Celisea

August 24th, 2011
12:23 pm

Yeah Blackfoote, what’s really going on when women are claiming to be b@tches and calling other women that. That use to be an insult. It seems to be the thing to be…lol

Willie Dynamite

August 24th, 2011
12:23 pm

PR – 12:21 co-sign and church clap (pun intended)

Exiled!

August 24th, 2011
12:24 pm

being a lady in the bedroom! :lol:

There u have it!

Maybe explains why some church ladies step out,too formal in bed! :lol:

i'm swiss™

August 24th, 2011
12:25 pm

“church clap”

Willie D — Is that what Wise’s buddy caught from his date?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2011
12:26 pm

Celisea:
Exactly, a lady knows when she is being a lady she shows good taste.

Purple Reign

August 24th, 2011
12:36 pm

Willie D, I think I am going to start a 501 3c, LOL

Willie Dynamite

August 24th, 2011
12:42 pm

Not trying to be difficult but if you asked 10 guys or 10 girls what is a lady and/or a gentleman you’d prolly get 6-7 different answers. I’m sure you’ll hear a few catchphrases and talking points but Nowadays it really is subjective. Does a lady go to happy hour and have a margarita? Does a gentleman send you a text from time to time? I’m sure some of us here on the blog would think not while others don’t see a problem with it. Once again i think its one of those know your lane and stick to it.

Purple Reign

August 24th, 2011
12:45 pm

Willie D, I agree. I often wonder what happened to men being men and ladies knowing they are ladies. I am really trying not to go deep but I think men being out of place in the “home”, household business, bedroom, workplace, has just caused all sorts of damage. I am not saying this in a male dominate kind of way but I hope you understand.

Willie Dynamite

August 24th, 2011
12:53 pm

PR- understood. Then again your idea of what is a man or lady may differ from mine. Doesn’t make either right or wrong except to us. Some ladies may take exception and to them rightly so to yours and mine definition of a Lady. But i do get what you are saying and as a whole the Lady/Gentleman concept has taken a hit over the past few generations.

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 24th, 2011
1:21 pm

Sort of on the current topic, my lady friend was telling me she has a guy working for her who tries to be a player, but in doing so, is the most “metro-sexual” guy she has ever met. At the end of the day, I am sure he appeals to some, and is a complete turnoff to others My point is that “one size does not fit all”. There are guys who want the totally uptight female “ladies”, there are those who want their lady to be a piece of jewelry on their arm and look like they just walked out of Glamour Shots…and there are those like me, who like the wholesome, girl next door type. with a witty, even wicked personality, who look equally at home in a black sheath and stilettos, or wearing jeans and walking in a field.

My choice isn’t better than yours, or the uptight dude’s…just personal taste.
To each his own.

Into the Light

August 24th, 2011
1:21 pm

Afternoon, all.

Hey, Swiss – are you ready for some football? Shall I look for you and the Missus at the Dome on the 3rd?

i'm swiss™

August 24th, 2011
1:43 pm

ITL — I won’t be at the dome — I’ll be at home with the game on both big screens, burgers & brats on the grill, and booze in both hands.

Man, I tell you, I’m always cautiously optimistic before every season, but this year, I really have no idea how this season will unfold. I wouldn’t be shocked to see us around .500 again but I also wouldn’t be shocked if we ran the table. Our season will go as our defense goes, though. I’m hopeful for some major improvement there, but I’ll have to see it to believe it.

Here’s hoping we spank those little pony azzes like we did the last time they came south! :-D GO DAWGS!

Into the Light

August 24th, 2011
1:49 pm

Swiss, I’ll be there. Look for me – I’ll be the one in red and black. :)

I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much for this year; I’d rather be pleasantly surprised than bitterly disappointed. That said, though, I’ve heard some good things. And, while I would not be shocked at a .500 season, there are some folks predicting that we just might be the team to beat in the SEC east.

Man, that was a great game in 2005. It was hot as blue blazes, but a great game. And, I managed to pick up some beer pong pointers from the tailgaters next to us. :)

GO DAWGS!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2011
1:49 pm

The NFL is going to have to wait for the fan base to come back up to par. The lockout did them in for a lot of people, once the season gets rolling the majority will be back. They unfortunately lost some fans for good. On the Falcons I don’t know what to expect this year, they have a hard schedule and if they keep trying to do something they can’t and don’t make adjustments the season can be lost.

Purple Reign

August 24th, 2011
1:55 pm

Into the Light

August 24th, 2011
1:55 pm

BF, I think you need to invite the blog to stop by your tailgate sometime. :)

Purple Reign

August 24th, 2011
1:57 pm

I think the Patriots are going to be “the team” this year. I don’t think philly will pull it together. Is Peyton really hurt? Oh yeah Seattle is going to make a run at it this season.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2011
1:58 pm

The Vikings have always been my fall back team, was with them last year and still with them this year. I hope they kick the green out of Green Bay both games this year.

Purple Reign

August 24th, 2011
1:59 pm

I hate Green Bay

Into the Light

August 24th, 2011
2:01 pm

On a totally girlie note, I think I would be super-cute in one of those Viking helmets. Might have to move them into the backup slot. :)

I kid, I kid….

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 24th, 2011
2:04 pm

ITL:
We welcome all anyone to drink, eat, and watch the game.