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Object of desire or objectified?

I read an “opinion” recently by a man who believes that women love to be objectified. I thought about how chauvinistic that sounded, then I wondered what would make a guy think that? When a woman wants to be desired, we aren’t thinking of being objectified but that seems to be waht some men think.

I believe some women think there is a difference in how you are treated. When does it become a problem? Usually when it is accompanied by misogynist views and disrespectful behavior.

I’m sure men can argue that women objectify them too, they just don’t “whine” about it. Do men think women like, excuse me, love to be objectified? Is that why some men try to cat call at women on the street?

In your opinion, what is the difference between being the object of desire and being objectified?

What are the reasons men objectify women? Why do women objectify men?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

200 comments Add your comment

For Real

August 18th, 2011
2:20 pm

What up Blog Fam!!!

Objectify: to present as an object, especially of sight, touch, or other physical sense; make objective; externalize.

Now can we stop with “to me objectified means….”

Object: anything that is visible or tangible and is relatively stable in form.

No way you slice it, “object of desire” and “objectified” mean the same thing.

No two women are alike, what works for one will not work for the other. If roll up on Sassy and say “Hey lil mamma can I offer you a phish sandwich” Sassy would jump my bones. If I rolled up on Slim and said “I got some warm chocolate, some kings candy stix cigarettes, two baby bottles with one nipple, half of half of a fifth of vodka, 2 tickets to a silent movie and some spicy cheese in my backpak” Slim would jump my bones.

Leggs

August 18th, 2011
2:23 pm

@BF ~ I was on the phone with a gf walking around my kitchen. It was a cold afternoon and I stood in front of the window watching the forest sway. I saw what I thought was a limb on the air conditioning fluttering around in the wind when I realized it was a leg. I stared in disbelief. Opened my window and shouted for her and him to stop. I called her over. She came to the window but I was getting cold talking to her and asked her to come in. She said she wasn’t allowed to go into a stranger’s home. I looked at her in disbelief saying “I’m pretty sure your parents didn’t tell you it was cool to have sex on an air conditioning either. She finally came in and I spoke to her on self-esteem, how the boy ran off leaving her, and a host of other things on how she has to value herself and not let some young boy treat her like dirt. Having sex on air conditioner did not spell “ooh la la, this boy likes me!” Told her he has no respect for her. Fast forward, she knocks on my door every so often.

Sassy Me ;-)

August 18th, 2011
2:24 pm

She in the corner looking Like Florida Evans and you passing on Wilona and Thelma to holla at her……Tempted to call BS on this one……..

For real right?!

damn…damn…DAMN!!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 18th, 2011
2:26 pm

I agree with your ex that was a few years back when they had a dress code, I haven’t been there in years I think it is a young folks joint now. I get nothing out women doing that, it’s all a show.

Bigdawg

August 18th, 2011
2:28 pm

A woman voting Republican is like a chicken voting for Col Sanders!

Hang the neo-cons!!

For Real

August 18th, 2011
2:29 pm

League of Extraordinary Pimps: So Blackfoote tell us your vision of pimpin. Cause every pimp gots-ta have VISION!!!

Blackfoot: I don’t like women that are too much work, got expectations, hopes & dreams. I like my woman’s spirit broken so I can ease in and ease out with the least amount of effort possible. That way I protect my rotation.

LEP: Welcome Catdaddy… Welcome!

Willie Dynamite

August 18th, 2011
2:31 pm

SexyCool

August 18th, 2011
2:35 pm

“I don’t want the attractive ladies that everyone else has their eye on. I only want the beatdown, busted, leftover chicks.”

Really?!?!?

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 18th, 2011
2:38 pm

For Real:
Man I’ve seen a lot done a lot, and pimpin I’ve never been able to grasp. Yep Casual you can call all the BS you want I know what works well for me and pretty girls I’ve had a plenty so they all look the same to me cause I’m balanced dude.

Confirmed Bachelor

August 18th, 2011
2:38 pm

Being rejected or objectified is almost the same to me, us men get used to it (er most, some are babies) so it does not bother me, why whine about it, it doesn’t get you anywhere.

cba

August 18th, 2011
2:39 pm

Speaking of pimpin, of all channels, last night National Geographic did a piece about prostitution.

Casual Observer

August 18th, 2011
2:42 pm

LOL…balanced = BMD!!! big as a Bear, looks like a Monkey, smell like a Dog!!! LLOLOL I kid, I kid, I kid….

SexyCool

August 18th, 2011
2:46 pm

Now, Rob, if what you’re saying is that you tend to go for the chicks who aren’t all superflashy and extra and dressed for AEOM (All Eyes On Me), well…that’s something different altogether.

Because nine times out of ten, when my folks and I hang out, we are some of the most laid back, simply dressed chicks in the room.

SlimNu

August 18th, 2011
2:51 pm

If I rolled up on Slim and said “I got some warm chocolate, some kings candy stix cigarettes, two baby bottles with one nipple, half of half of a fifth of vodka, 2 tickets to a silent movie and some spicy cheese in my backpak” Slim would jump my bones.

For Real – I don’t like spicy cheese so that pretty much negates that theory. Don’t you know spicky cheese leads to burning f-arts DUH ;-)

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 18th, 2011
2:57 pm

SexyC:
AEOM women have a following and I’m not one of them, but yeah the cool lady’s who isn’t trying to fly high in sky will always attract my attention.

SlimNu

August 18th, 2011
2:57 pm

meant spicy, not spicky…sounds like a combo of sticky and spicy. LOL!

Willie Dynamite

August 18th, 2011
3:04 pm

To think that the homely looking chick sitting at the table not dancing, mean mugging and guarding the purses while her fine as all outdoors pretty azz girlfriends partied wasn’t getting no play. Well I’ll be dayummed.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 18th, 2011
3:06 pm

Leggs:
Doing the do in the cold on a air conditioner, that’s good you talked to her it doing that could have made big change in her young life.

kimmie

August 18th, 2011
3:07 pm

Black butterfly, sail across the waters
Tell your sons and daughters
Where the struggle began

For Real

August 18th, 2011
3:08 pm

“sounds like a combo of sticky and spicy. LOL!” – Now you see the direction I’m going. That reason for the warm chocolate.

For Real is not gently massaging Slim pinky fanga.

kimmie

August 18th, 2011
3:08 pm

Leggs – More of us need to step up and do stuff like that. It’s definitely going to take all of us to help this generation coming up.

kimmie

August 18th, 2011
3:09 pm

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 18th, 2011
3:09 pm

Well if they are looking like that and didn’t come out to dance they probably should have stayed home.

kimmie

August 18th, 2011
3:15 pm

BF – I remember one time in college, me & a group of my friends went to this jamming party one of the frats gave. It was a big football weekend and a lot of the frat dudes had come from other schools. These dudes were hot so of course us ladies had to bring our A game up there too. How about one of the girls that came along with my group wanted me to hold her coat? I politely declined. She was like, “I guess you think you too cute”. I said I don’t think it, I know it and strutted out to dance with this fine dude!

Nope, don’t do the purse & coat duty!

Leggs

August 18th, 2011
3:20 pm

No doubt, kimmie!

Nothing good about sitting in a club with your friends bags while they’re on the dance floor. Not only that, why come to the club with such a bulky purse. I tell my friends to please dance with their purses, cuz I can’t get on the floor with 3-4 purses on my arm when I’m asked to dance!

Leggs

August 18th, 2011
3:22 pm

haa haa haa, I see your post kimmie. I feel the same way!

For Real

August 18th, 2011
3:28 pm

Girl: Slim can you watch my purse while I go dancing?

Slim: Sure

Girl2: Slim can you watch my purse while I go drop this load?

Slim: Sure

Girl3: Can you watch my purse while I go smoke this fatty?

Slim: Sure. (after the last girl leaves) Waiter!

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 18th, 2011
3:50 pm

Kimmie:
I feel you on that, seem like when you go to a place where there is dancing then everybody should be on the same page. I loved that Minnie Ripperton song sad she had to us so young too.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 18th, 2011
3:51 pm

sad she had to “leave” us so young.

SlimNu

August 18th, 2011
3:57 pm

For Real – That would not be me…i like to get my two-step and drop it like it’s lukewarm on ;-)

Leggs

August 18th, 2011
4:00 pm

Have to laugh at “lukewarm.” What is that, dropping it halfway before your knees give out (lol)?

SlimNu

August 18th, 2011
4:05 pm

Exiled!

August 18th, 2011
4:06 pm

Lukewarm?!

poor Slim..ur bum ain’t even dangling at the back like that to be dropped like it’s lukewarm!
Blame it on yo mama! :lol:

Sexxycool’s old behind was Huuge! :lol:

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 18th, 2011
4:07 pm

All the places I’ve been people are dancing all over the floor, on your feet, and bumping into your hips. The fat, ugly and fine folks everybody is doing what they came there for to party. I guess for some guys if you didn’t pick up the finest girl in the club it was all for not.

Leggs

August 18th, 2011
4:08 pm

Into the Light

August 18th, 2011
4:12 pm

The fat, ugly and fine folks everybody is doing what they came there for to party

:) Sounds like folks there are most interested in having a good time. :) imagine that.

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 18th, 2011
4:19 pm

ITL:
I thought that’s what you go out for, that’s how we rolled nobody interested in jacking somebody up. If it happened it happened naturally. I remember “blue” saying one time about men hanging out like they are quail hunting, she had me crying when she said that……LOL

SlimNu

August 18th, 2011
4:19 pm

Exiled – I may not have much but I still look back at it like there’s something there when I’m shaking my tailbone ;-)

Exiled!

August 18th, 2011
4:22 pm

How many of u ladies honestly consider ourselves really phoine? :lol:

not confident,not arrogance not conceited but judst

Phoine and nobody can do nothing about it!

Tell me! Go :arrow:

Exiled!

August 18th, 2011
4:23 pm

Urselves not ourselves

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 18th, 2011
4:25 pm

LOL…..@Slim1
Now that’s the kind of attitude I like.

Into the Light

August 18th, 2011
4:31 pm

It is, BF, it most certainly is. :)

Exiled!

August 18th, 2011
4:36 pm

So y’all don’t think u phoine?

Or u just don’t have mirrors

Or nobody is cat calling on u?
Which is what?

SlimNu

August 18th, 2011
4:41 pm

I’d put nice succulent boobies, a toned sizable arse, nicely thick legs, banging shape, pretty face, superbly dressed to be under the PHOINE category.

I’m think i’m about a 7.5/8 So not sure what category my features would be placed in…cute, sexy, pretty who knows. I know I ain’t busted and deeeeesgusted

Exiled!

August 18th, 2011
4:43 pm

Phoine,succulent and portable!

Slim,U Pass!

(don’t let the small azz and itty bitty tatas fool yaa)! :lol:

DreamsMaterialize

August 18th, 2011
4:44 pm

Hey everyone. I see you all moved on to night spots. Not surprised to see Foxy Lady, Jazzy T’s and Pleasers get shouted out. Gotta say that Nicki’s VIP on Stewart in the 90’s was off the chains.

Sassy Me ;-)

August 18th, 2011
4:50 pm

Gotta say that Nicki’s VIP on Stewart in the 90’s was off the chains.

I remember that…I used to go to Atlanta Metropolitan back then and alot of the dancers took classes there,too. They’d go to school,leave n go right down the street to work.. That’s back when Bill Campbell was the isht..

Sassy Me ;-)

August 18th, 2011
4:54 pm

Have a good evening y’all. There’s some football coming on tonight and I’s gotta be ready!!

SlimNu

August 18th, 2011
4:54 pm

“Slim,U Pass”

Exiled – Thanks for affirming me lol

Leggs

August 18th, 2011
4:58 pm

Good night.

Be strong, be aware, be polite!