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Object of desire or objectified?

I read an “opinion” recently by a man who believes that women love to be objectified. I thought about how chauvinistic that sounded, then I wondered what would make a guy think that? When a woman wants to be desired, we aren’t thinking of being objectified but that seems to be waht some men think.

I believe some women think there is a difference in how you are treated. When does it become a problem? Usually when it is accompanied by misogynist views and disrespectful behavior.

I’m sure men can argue that women objectify them too, they just don’t “whine” about it. Do men think women like, excuse me, love to be objectified? Is that why some men try to cat call at women on the street?

In your opinion, what is the difference between being the object of desire and being objectified?

What are the reasons men objectify women? Why do women objectify men?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures in Atlanta Dating Blog

200 comments Add your comment

Exiled!

August 18th, 2011
11:15 am

Good day not hood

Randyt (aka, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, HAVE A CLOSET FULL OF T-SHIRTS)

August 18th, 2011
11:17 am

Leads to an interesting question…was I “objectifying” her or was she “objectifying” me? If it wasn’t true love then were we “objectifying” each other. Oh no, I might have been “objectified”!!! How can I live with this shame?

Jake a.ka. SPJ The Womb Beater

August 18th, 2011
11:17 am

So that we are all clear…I don’t condone objectifying women, but I am guilty of tooting the horn at women as they are running, with the occasional roll down, and “looking good girl” as I fly by on to my destination, its for kicks for me and for motivation for her. Before you look at me sideways, she is out there running in a sports bra and spandex pants, I guess running shorts and a t-shirt just won’t cut it nowadays….But I am a jerk for noticing I guess!!!!

Generally, I am the attentive type, I kinda make it a point to compliment the ladies here at work when they change a hairstyle, have on a nice fit, or make suttle changes, a compliment doesn’t hurt anybody!

Non Golfer

August 18th, 2011
11:17 am

When I was getting married ten years ago people would ask me one question and my now ex-wife another. I was asked, “what does she look like?” , she was asked, “what does he do?”. Those questions were near universal. Sad but true. It’s like gravity—it may annoy you but you’re still subject to its laws.

kimmie

August 18th, 2011
11:20 am

a compliment doesn’t hurt anybody!

Jake – Now that’s nice!

Leggs

August 18th, 2011
11:21 am

Enter your comments here

Leggs

August 18th, 2011
11:24 am

Good morning.

Object of one’s desire or to be objectified. Desire me for all of me, physical, mental, silliness, etc. To have me on your arm for show will only leave you looking for another to objectify because I am GHOST.

Morning wasted in court so now I’m home taking PTO….anybody want to come over and play?

SlimUno

August 18th, 2011
11:27 am

I don’t think anyone is saying they don’t want to be desired or not found attractive to the opposite sex, but who wants to ONLY be viewed on a physical/sexual level?…Whenever I meet a guy and if it turns out all he cares to discuss my sexual desires or my looks then I know he could care less about what makes Slim tick, her interests, etc.

2CPTG

August 18th, 2011
11:31 am

Slim, baby….”game” comes in all shapes and forms…..sometimes you don’t, and won’t, know his true intentions until the deed is done……

akin to a gold-digger sayin she ain’t a gold-digger til she takes you for everything you have!!!!

Leggs

August 18th, 2011
11:33 am

J/K on playing. I’m playing with you guys right now.

Jake a.ka. SPJ The Womb Beater

August 18th, 2011
11:35 am

@Kimmie, yea that is nice, but I got secret for ya…the nice compliment and the cat-call mean the same thing, its just presentation.

“That new haircut looks nice on you” is the same thing as “Hey girl, let me put this potato in that wedge of yours”…

Don’t be fooled!!!

SexyCool

August 18th, 2011
11:36 am

SexyCool

August 18th, 2011
11:38 am

Morning Run Report – regular route – me and the dog – 32minutes. Was planning on taking it easy this morning, but when I hit the sidewalk I just HAD to run.

#RunningNerd…

kimmie

August 18th, 2011
11:40 am

Jake – I didn’t just wake up. I’m far from green. But you said something that is key in this entire discussion – presentation!

All I’m saying is have enough going for yourself to have a little class and finesse about it, not take it to the gutter.

I’ve known guys that are straight-up players and everyone around them knows it. But they can charm the pants off darn near every woman if they had the opportunity. They are smooth with it. They put a smile on everyones face when they come around.

Then you have the flip side to that, dudes that are just crude and are creeps. Yuck!

SexyCool

August 18th, 2011
11:41 am

Toucan – hey, homey!!!

Topic – I am sure that once I am an old lady, a little objectification would just tickle me pink. As it stands presently, strangers in the street are welcome objectify all they want. I just ask that they keep their comments and advances to themselves. Please and thank you.

When it comes to TheDude, we have a healthy mix of objectifying and desiring going on. Sooooo….we’re ghuuuuuddddd!!!

Exiled!

August 18th, 2011
11:41 am

2CPTG/Jake!!

U both right.

If a guy says to a chic,’lemme taste that cream filling’,she’s gon feel offended. Coz they like aesthetics and taste and presentation.

But if the guy says,’ u look real nice’ they drool and gush!

But the guy pretty much said the same thing using semantics.

‘u look real nice and I feel like tasting ur cream filling’ :lol: (Busta Rhymes)

kimmie

August 18th, 2011
11:44 am

Exiled – Right, same sh–, different presentation. But makes all the difference in the world when it comes to how it’s received.

2CPTG

August 18th, 2011
11:46 am

What up, Sexy…..

Exiled, you’re exactly right…..presentation is everything!

SlimUno

August 18th, 2011
11:46 am

2C – well shiver me timbers lol

Leggs

August 18th, 2011
11:47 am

And how it’s presented also determines how quick you get to the center of tootsie roll.

Lovely Brown

August 18th, 2011
11:49 am

Good day not hood

same thang in my world..hood can be good :lol:

JASon

August 18th, 2011
11:50 am

“Is that why some men try to cat call at women on the street?”

Are these the men you date? The men who are out on the street? Wow you must be ugly

SexyCool

August 18th, 2011
11:50 am

2 – It’s been so long since I’ve been a regular in PCB and I know there are a shtload of changes. Planning a weekend down there and need your recommendations on a decent place to stay for a couple of nights.

2CPTG

August 18th, 2011
11:53 am

I’mma take it a step further- We do wanna be “objectified”….but on our terms! Example….if a chic spends all day in the hair salon, she wants her new hairdo to be the thing that catches your eye….not her ass-piece….

truthbtold

August 18th, 2011
11:55 am

It all depends on what kind of class an individual has? There are plenty of females out there that want nothing more than to be objectified! Just look at the influences they have had over the last 50 years. From Marilyn Monroe and Madonna to Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Niki Minaj – these women were perfectly content to get by on “looks.” After all, to feel like you have personality, intellect, conversation, aspirations and character to offer – requires more work and effort. Dressing provocatively requires little effort, and getting naked – no effort at all. Yeah, I would say more women want to be objectified today. Just take a look around you. Ooops! You better not do that – All you’ll see is a bunch of folks distracted by a cell phone stuck to their head while they walk, drive, eat, shop, work, and play.

2CPTG

August 18th, 2011
11:56 am

Sexy, just hit me up…..’tween now and Labor Day everything’s really economical….but Labor Day weekend expect some price gouging!

Sassy Me ;-)

August 18th, 2011
11:58 am

the nice compliment and the cat-call mean the same thing

This reminds me of part of a stand up act Chris Rock did…he was talking about men always “offering the women d!^k”. Like: Heey how you doing, you look nice today(want some d!^k)…oh wait let me open that door for you(want some d!^k)….you need help carrying that?(want some d!^K)..too funny.
I know sometimes a compliment is a thinly veiled attempt at some booty but I’d like to think not ALL men act this way.

Afternoon run report— me n Dr. Phil(tv)— 3 miles in 45 minutes. I’d like to get to a ten minute mile….someday :mrgreen:

watch them dogs

August 18th, 2011
11:59 am

If a man got issues wit his momma, don`t trip when he has got issues with you.
.Mysoginistic ways.

Robert

August 18th, 2011
12:03 pm

Some women love being the object of desire. For example older women (40-50) who date younger men (30-40). Lust and sex become the object of their desire. We call them “cougars” looking for “cubs”.

Into the Light

August 18th, 2011
12:04 pm

Presentation is everything. Yep. Which is why the, “Did you change your hair” will get a response but the wolf whistle/cat call on the street gets ignored.

Doesn’t mean they both aren’t a bit of an ego stroke, though…..

Mr_NYC

August 18th, 2011
12:06 pm

LOL @Sassy – I remember that routine — too funny. Sad but sometimes true.

Willie Dynamite

August 18th, 2011
12:07 pm

Afternoon All,

Don’t we all objectify everyone we see until we get to know them? At first glance you form an opinion rightly/wrongly and not always about sex. Some Women do it to other Women. If you and your man are at a function you will notice the busty chick with the cleavage showing, making a mental note to keep her away from your Man thinking she’s ditzy or easy. When Dudes see each other they size them up quickly (if push comes to shove I can take dude). I mean its a given until the presentation and follow through. That is what determines the potential outcome or lack thereof.

Exiled!

August 18th, 2011
12:09 pm

So ladies,when u hear the cat calls,privately,do they tell u that ure doing something right in ur self presentation?

Or u just hate them Period!?

czBrat

August 18th, 2011
12:10 pm

thanx for the laugh, sassy.

Don’t we all objectify everyone we see until we get to know them?
excellent point, willie hola!

Willie Dynamite

August 18th, 2011
12:13 pm

So I guess reading the comments MOST Women like being objectified to an extent. I mean you are being objectified regardless of how we do/say it but You don’t want to feel objectified. It just matters how you objectify them. Is that a fair statement?

Into the Light

August 18th, 2011
12:15 pm

Exiled,

No, just like if I didn’t hear them I wouldn’t assume that I was off my game. I know most of the ladies here disagree with me, but my point is that even though I don’t need the cat calls to validate me, I still get a little ego stroke from them. I would never acknowledge them, and in fact, more often than not give the annoyed eye-roll.

czBrat

August 18th, 2011
12:20 pm

me-lo, cat calls don’t impress me simply because they generally come from the type of dude i’m not interested in impressing. i wouldn’t say “hate”, but it’s no ego boost. if anything, i might do a quick check to make sure my skirt’s not too short or neckline too low. i mean, if i got them wolves howling …. :lol:

Leggs

August 18th, 2011
12:24 pm

Cat calls from a dude hanging on the corner is not an ego booster. Just a guy whistling at anything walking. Has no bearing on me or what I’m wearing.

Into the Light

August 18th, 2011
12:27 pm

Just a guy whistling at anything walking

ouch

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 18th, 2011
12:28 pm

Michael P:
While I don’t drive a Lambo or make half a mil., when I frequented strip joints I haven’t had a problem with a stripper/exotic dancer coming home with me CASH FREE. Sure they want what’s in a guys pocket, but someone has mentioned it’s the approach of objectifying that makes a difference. When you make adjustments at the appropiate time, you can get most anything without the tripping that people do.

czBrat

August 18th, 2011
12:28 pm

lmao @ leggs. see!

SexyCool

August 18th, 2011
12:29 pm

czB +1.

If you are “on my level”, you are not whistling and hollering at me in the street.

SexyCool

August 18th, 2011
12:30 pm

Rob – your Richard Johnson is going to meet with the wrong Va-jay-jay doing that.

czBrat

August 18th, 2011
12:32 pm

If you are “on my level”, you are not whistling and hollering at me in the street.

sc, i’m guessing they don’t know that until they get the :roll: though, so what’s a guy to do? :lol:

SexyCool

August 18th, 2011
12:34 pm

Err on the side of caution.

Willie Dynamite

August 18th, 2011
12:35 pm

IMO, If I may? Cat calls, whistling or even the nice gentlemanly compliment is already at least step 2. The objectifying has already taken place. Its the follow through that’s causing the problems.

Exiled!

August 18th, 2011
12:35 pm

Blackfoote?!

CASH FREE… That’s what’s up maan!

U know,I’ll admit,I never read u on the blod, like u were that smoove maan! :lol:

@ Ladies.. Ok I hear u..its kinda a mixed bag,right?!

ego boost ITL check

no effect Leggs/Czbrat check

Exiled!

August 18th, 2011
12:36 pm

Blackfoote: The Real Blackfoote

August 18th, 2011
12:37 pm

SexyC:
I’m cool those were days long ago when I thought I was a hot shot and had no ryhme or reason. She was a conquest and I was the conquerer, and once I got it out my system I became balanced.

czBrat

August 18th, 2011
12:40 pm

no effect Leggs/Czbrat check
not exactly. move me to the “annoyed” column. please and thank you.

ok. i’m quite done beating that horse.

has it been deemed taboo to ask the whereabouts of infamous, kym and ared?