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Dating under the influence

Call it one of life’s lessons: outside influences should not impact your relationship. Some of us had to learn the hard way. Like the time you over shared something about what was happening and it backfired on you.

We all have well meaning friends and relatives who want what is best for us. Sometimes they may get a little carried away and interfere, which actually could make things a lot worse. You could end up getting bad advice from someone who really should not have been able to influence your decisions or behavior at all.

Have you ever been influenced by people to make certain dating or relationship decisions?

How much do you share and how much do you keep close to the vest?

Would you ever dump someone because they were not liked by people in your circle?

One of my friends is seeing a woman that does not get along with his best friend. It is starting to become a problem because the best friend and girlfriend clash a lot. This leaves him sort of stuck in the middle. What would you do in this situation? Play peacemaker or keep them apart?

By Wise Diva, Misadventures In Atlanta Dating Blog

720 comments Add your comment

Reio

August 10th, 2011
3:04 pm

@ Into the Light – I worry about the child too, but something has to give, eventually. This has not been tried. Maybe it will work better than the current system. I do believe that the one to change the most will be the mothers, cause they won’t be too happy knowing that the baby they are carrying will be removed from them shortly after giving birth.

Leggs

August 10th, 2011
3:04 pm

@Reio ~ I agree with you. Too quick for the woman to take care of the baby and the father walks away with only guilt in his heart (and sometimes not even that). If a man was made to be solely responsible for the welfare of that child he may think twice about dropping another woman’s panties and going all in unprotected. I bet most would think twice about that quickie with some random.

Reio

August 10th, 2011
3:07 pm

Wish I had a magic wand for Somalia. They were starving there 600 years ago. They still are. So sad.

Into the Light

August 10th, 2011
3:08 pm

This is one of those days that I wish I had a magic wand and could wave it and solve all the world’s problems…. :(

I also wish I had not eaten lunch at The Flying Biscuit because I am sleepy….zzzzzz

Reio

August 10th, 2011
3:08 pm

@ Leggs – Yes indeed. Makes sense to me.

Into the Light

August 10th, 2011
3:09 pm

Dang, Reio…you and I with the magic wand wish at the same time. Jinx – buy me a coke! :)

Sassy Me ;-)

August 10th, 2011
3:10 pm

If a man was made to be solely responsible for the welfare of that child he may think twice about dropping another woman’s panties and going all in unprotected.

I get what you and Blackfoote are saying and that sounds good. I’m sure that would deter some of them from doing it again and appreciating what some women go through..

Purple Reign

August 10th, 2011
3:11 pm

Let’s solve our own countries problems before we go trying to save the world. Starving kids here, education, crime general well being.

Reio

August 10th, 2011
3:12 pm

@ Into the Light – I drink diet sodas. Could use one right about now too. And tissue to cry in, for the Somalies

Into the Light

August 10th, 2011
3:14 pm

Reio, that’s what I said…a coke. Then you specify what kind. :) You know native Georgians like me call all those kind of drinks a coke. Even though I like Diet Dr. Pepper myself.

One coke and one tissue, coming right up….

SlimNu

August 10th, 2011
3:15 pm

Speaking of Somalia or Africa in general, I had a strange day being that 4 different Africans tried to talk to me today. One of them was talking about he was looking for a wife or whatever. He came back and brought me a bottled water but I was scared to take it because he might have taken that as affirmation of his proposal. :shock: I must be looking like an Ethipian or Somalian today

Sassy Me ;-)

August 10th, 2011
3:17 pm

He came back and brought me a bottled water but I was scared to take it because he might have taken that as affirmation of his proposal.

Yep y’all probably would’ve been married and you didn’t even know it :lol:

Reio

August 10th, 2011
3:19 pm

Into the Light – Diet Dr. Pepper is great. Scott tissue will do as well. Thanks. hehehe.

SlimNu

August 10th, 2011
3:22 pm

Sassy – I’m going to check with my dad in a few days to see if he got any type of livestock delivered to his house…IF so, then Houston we have a problem. I hope that wasn’t Exiled :lol:

Leggs

August 10th, 2011
3:23 pm

“He came back and brought me a bottled water but I was scared to take it because he might have taken that as affirmation of his proposal.” – Reminds me of an episode on Raven-Symone show when she accepted a feather not knowing that accepting it she agreed to marriage.

Purple Reign

August 10th, 2011
3:23 pm

Slim so you are hanging out with Exiled now? You are about to be one of his concubines. LOL

kimmie

August 10th, 2011
3:28 pm

Slim, you did the right thing. Plus, “Ebay” may practice polygamy back in his homeland. Make sure you are the first wife, she gets all the rights!LOL!!!

czBrat

August 10th, 2011
3:29 pm

slim, i’m surprised you even understood that they were hitting on you. was it the gestures that got the message across? LOL

i get migranes sometimes trying to catch what the heck our african-origin tenants are saying. no offense.

SlimNu

August 10th, 2011
3:29 pm

Dang Purp, I don’t make it to 2nd or 3rd wife status, I gotta be reduced to a concubine? :cry:

Sassy Me ;-)

August 10th, 2011
3:29 pm

I’m going to check with my dad in a few days to see if he got any type of livestock delivered to his house

And don’t forget to look for some beads,cloth and a few animal skins on the front porch…

damn that was wrong…don’g judge me…

SexyCool

August 10th, 2011
3:29 pm

What?!? Meelow finally signed up someone on his team? (lol)

I really want to type a whole lot more about the discussion on our social ills, but I am now on my BB – not good for blogging easily.

Purple Reign

August 10th, 2011
3:30 pm

Slim, you know Exiled he already has his main lady, he may buy you a #3 Super Sized and that would be even worse than being a concubine

kimmie, LOL@ Ebay

Creeper

August 10th, 2011
3:30 pm

Good Afternoon Everyone

Purple Reign

August 10th, 2011
3:31 pm

Sassy! You are in time out…okay you are out of time out now. LOL

SlimNu

August 10th, 2011
3:33 pm

kimmie – The one guy told me he was married but she was back in Nigeria. Apparently, she messed around with his best friend and he said he almost killed him. The fact that he’s only been in the states a few months had me wondering if he’s on the run. But that’s not even the funny part. He gives me his card which shows him as a clinical psychiatrist. I was like, so you’ve only been here a few months, you’re a car dealer AND a clinical doctor? :lol:

czBrat – I could tell very much so he was trying to hit on me by the things he was saying. Plus later on when this other African was trying to get me to go out with him after numerous times of telling him I was involved with someone already, the first guy seemed to be burning a hole in the 2nd guys head. lol No offense but they are very aggressive and territorial. Nooooo thanks

Sassy Me ;-)

August 10th, 2011
3:35 pm

Whew Purp that was quick…thanks

kimmie

August 10th, 2011
3:35 pm

Purple – LOL!!! You know where that came from, don’t you? An episode of Good Times. Thelma was set to marry this African named Ebay, until she asked him if she would be his “only” wife! I don’t know how he really spelled his name, but that’s how it was pronounced.

SlimNu

August 10th, 2011
3:35 pm

And don’t forget to look for some beads,cloth and a few animal skins on the front porch OMG…okay, you can hangout in my timeout corner while I :lol: :lol: I can hear the guy now…”I’m strong like bull!”

Into the Light

August 10th, 2011
3:36 pm

I remember that episode, Kimmie! And didn’t he give the family cloth and beads??? :)

Purple Reign

August 10th, 2011
3:37 pm

Sassy, LOL

kimmie, no I didn’t watch that show. But I did see an Episode of Martin when Gina ended up married to the skinny guy from “What’s Happening” lol

Slim, why are you attracting them today? daaaaaaaaaaaaaaay O Daa a aaaaaay O………

kimmie

August 10th, 2011
3:40 pm

very aggressive and territorial.

Slim – Yes they are, extremely!!! Girl, if I gave the ones that tried to get with me the time of day, I would probably be “set”! But I am scared to death of them! One from Sierre Leone said I was “brilliant”! Had to give it to him, he was very handsome and rich. But no could do!

SlimNu

August 10th, 2011
3:40 pm

PR – OMG, I remember that episode too of Martin :lol: I have no idea what the deal is today. It’s not like I have on a mini-skirt or something crazy. I have on some slacks and a white top, no biggie. I have had folks ask me in the past if I was from Ethiopia, Somalia or India…maybe i’m looking ethnic today, who knows :???:

kimmie

August 10th, 2011
3:40 pm

Light – Yeah, everybody got a dashiki!!LOL!!

Sassy Me ;-)

August 10th, 2011
3:41 pm

No offense but they are very aggressive and territorial. Nooooo thanks

Me being who I am..the way I am, that wouldn’t be a good look for me either. That reminds me of a house warming I went to some time ago. After the house warming, most of the men were outside and the ladies in the kitchen or elsewhere in the house…there were maybe 1 or 2 outside. I decided to go out there,too, and grab a Heineken while I was at it…I got the beer and walked to one of the African men and asked him to open it for me and he looked at me like :shock: but he still opened it. I laughed a little behind his back and I know they were talking about me…I know it.

SlimNu

August 10th, 2011
3:43 pm

kimmie – One thing I will say, they do take care of home but I don’t want to be living in an In-home prison. The police come to the door and I’m trying to blink ‘help me’ in morse code. :lol:

Sassy Me ;-)

August 10th, 2011
3:44 pm

I can hear the guy now…”I’m strong like bull!”

:lol:

And you talking about ME?!…Slim we’re gonna have to put a turn stile on that corner cause we’ll be taking turns rotating in and out..

kimmie

August 10th, 2011
3:45 pm

Slim – Okay??!!! LOL!!!

Leggs

August 10th, 2011
3:46 pm

The police come to the door and I’m trying to blink ‘help me’ in morse code – hilarious!

Into the Light

August 10th, 2011
3:47 pm

Blinking in morse code….LOL :)

czBrat

August 10th, 2011
3:48 pm

The police come to the door and I’m trying to blink ‘help me’ in morse code
*brat is on the floor* :lol: :lol: :lol;

Into the Light

August 10th, 2011
3:48 pm

I don’t get the :shock: for asking him to open your beer. My guy friends always do that for me, usually without being asked. Is it an African custom that women open their own drinks?

Sassy Me ;-)

August 10th, 2011
3:50 pm

The police come to the door and I’m trying to blink ‘help me’ in morse code.

Nooo gurl…then you would’ve been in trouble for making direct eye contact with another male who isn’t family…

Purple Reign

August 10th, 2011
3:52 pm

LOL blink blink blink- ——blink blink——– blink blink blink

SlimNu

August 10th, 2011
3:54 pm

Sassy Me – I would’ve fixed him a cold drink, then write ‘help me’ on the side of the glass where the condensation was lol
And maybe he gave you the side-eye since the beer wasn’t for him lol

Sassy Me ;-)

August 10th, 2011
3:55 pm

I don’t know ITL…all I know is that day the men folk were outside and the women folk were inside…the only 1 or 2 women outside were with their husbands. What I noticed that day was that the men were just hangin and the women were fixin food/chasing children/etc. The atmosphere seemed divided along male/femal role kind of lines. So when I asked the guy to do something that he probably would’ve had his wife do he looked at me like “damned Westernized woman how dare you ask that of me”..but he still did it he just looked shocked as heyal that I asked him.

Leggs

August 10th, 2011
3:55 pm

@ITL ~ I think she’s saying some Africans do not believe in doing anything but take care of the bills. It is up to the woman to do everything else, including opening her own beer. Heck, he may even take offense that she’s drinking a beer (out of the bottle at that).

Sassy Me ;-)

August 10th, 2011
3:55 pm

should’ve read *female* not femal..

Into the Light

August 10th, 2011
3:56 pm

Yeah, and you know you’d get that dumb officer from Sanford and Son – “Excuse me, Mrs. Ebay…is there something in your eye????”

Sassy Me ;-)

August 10th, 2011
3:57 pm

And maybe he gave you the side-eye since the beer wasn’t for him

Maybe so…I hope he didn’t take it out on his wife(if he had one).

Into the Light

August 10th, 2011
3:57 pm

Oh, no. That is not for this girl….give me a man whose actions show that chivalry is alive and well.